Friends circle personalized signature copy funny (selected 50 sentences) 1. My job status is: on the left is a good gay friend, on the right is a goddess, in front is a workaholic, and there are several wonderful flowers around me! I hate two kinds of people most: one is racist; The second is black; Third, I can't count! 3. Is the daughter-in-law important or the game important? Daughter-in-law is of course important, so I only dare to play games and dare not hit my daughter-in-law. I recently read an unforgettable book and benefited a lot. I forgot the title and content. 5. The criterion to test whether you are good friends: You tell him your anecdote, and he can help solve it, but let him laugh first! 6. Husband becomes a philosopher, wife an economist and mother-in-law a strategist as soon as possible. 7. One of the scariest things in the world is to watch horror movies with people who are afraid of watching horror movies, especially when this person is your girlfriend. 8. Everyone who claims to be. Sister? All women are looking for a man who is very manly, and they find that the most manly one is themselves. 9. What did you learn in Zhihu? If you don't study hard when you are young, you can only praise others when you grow up. 10. When two people are together for a long time, there will be an inexplicable tacit understanding. For example, if you ignore me, I will ignore you. 1 1. Talking to your wife is like talking to a child of one or two years old, not only listening, but also guessing. 12. In this harmonious society, primary school students celebrate Valentine's Day, middle school students celebrate Singles Day, college students celebrate Children's Day, and I work overtime! 13. Don't feel inferior just because you are ugly. For example, I'm not proud of being handsome. 14. I once participated in a world-wide lying competition and won the first prize because I said? I am not handsome? . 15. It won't take long to go to the toilet after eating fruit. A little sad. I feel like a juicer. 16. Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want a car and a house? Do you want assets over 100 million? What are you waiting for? Wash and sleep! 17. The typical sign of being single is that the one-month traffic package is long gone, and more than half of the call package is left. 18. The older you get, the more you feel that those people who are dark, full of tricks and conspiracy theories are all due to lack of intelligence. 19. Just to ask if anyone likes me. If not, I'll ask later. 20. Don't reveal your wound to others. There are not many doctors in the world, but many people sprinkle salt. 2 1. These days, the chances of finding true love are almost the same as those of being struck by lightning! 22. marry a woman like me. Although it is not beautiful or beautiful, it is enough to make you lose everything. Violence cannot solve the problem. Come on, let's sit down calmly and praise me for an hour. 24. I work for money. Don't talk to me about my ideal. My ideal is not to go to work. 25. At my age, I will sing softly in your ear, like your body and give you a bag, leaving only mosquitoes. 26. I am very happy that I have gained weight. What makes you call me fat? 27. Be like a pepper, be enthusiastic! Like cabbage, there are layers! Like lotus root, pay attention to your eyes. I'm different, I'm just a rolling pin, straight! 28. If you love me, put on my wedding dress and strip it off yourself. 29. In the past, mail was slow, and I only loved one person in my life. Now the network technology is developed, and 50 people can be green in one day. 30. When the boss uses you, you are a talent. When you are not used, you become a layoff! 3 1. Some people, once they miss it, really thank God, gongs and drums are loud and firecrackers are ringing. 32. Women in the new era can enter the hall, climb over the fence, fight for mistresses and beat hooligans, but they can't leave the kitchen. 33. I want to be your little sun, either to warm you or burn you to death. 34. Eating food is like a train. To sum up: shopping, shopping, shopping. 35. Don't sing for the rest of your life. Girls don't work hard to make money and don't want to be beautiful. For the rest of their lives, cooking is your job, laundry is your job, housework is your job, rejection is your job, and looking after children is still your job. 36. It is said that marriage is the grave of love, but if there is no house, you can't even enter the grave. 37. Don't be puppy love. What you are talking about now is someone else's future husband or wife. 38. When you are thin, beautiful, with something in your head and money in your wallet, let alone this month, the whole world will treat you better. 39. Others hold hands and I hold my dog. Take a walk, swim and see who bites badly. 40. People say that I am bad-tempered, joking, good-looking, good-tempered, and not bad! 4 1. Others may not know whether you are doing well or not, but others can tell at a glance that you are fat. 42. The husband becomes a philosopher, the wife an economist and the mother-in-law a strategist as soon as possible. 43. The meat is long, the face is round, the stomach is fat and the legs are thick. These days are very fulfilling. 44. People who love you will contact you as soon as they are busy with the important things at hand, for fear of leaving you out. People who don't love you will disappear when they are busy, fall asleep and die at the dinner table. 45. In fact, staying at home for a long time is not good for your health, which has scientific basis. Come on, read it with me in pinyin. Is it carcinogenic? house 46. Going out for dinner six years ago. Shopping is basically paid in cash. I went out to eat three years ago. Shopping is basically by credit card. Now I go out to eat. Shopping payment is a sweep. What does this mean? This shows that the probability of going out to pick up money is almost zero! 47. I fight for my face in spring, my figure in summer, my temperament in autumn and my personality in winter, but I can't afford anything, so I have to work hard. 48. You have backbone, you have ideas, you are unwilling to be mediocre, just lazy. 49. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; Those with wings are not necessarily angels? Mom said, that's a bird man. 50. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.