The characteristic of humor is to make people laugh, make people happy, happy and cheerful. Applying this characteristic to social life will achieve amazing results. I have collected some for you. Come and have a look with me.

complete works

1. Planting grass doesn't make people lie down, so it's better to plant cactus instead!

2. I have a small mind, but I don't lack it; I have a good temper, but not without it!

3. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

4. It turns out that as long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they are, they will gradually become alienated.

5. Go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me if I should cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 bucks can't be eaten!

6. A man fooling a woman is called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

7. * * Thinking about how to tax reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably!

8. Time is for wandering, body is for loving, life is for forgetting, and soul is for singing.

9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

1. How far is it forever? Get the hell out of here, boy!

11. I met a writer's signature: maybe it seems to be, but it may not be. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

12. Since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on my head.

13. I want to puppy love, but it's already late ...

14. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

the important task of post-15 and post-8 is to manufacture post-8.

16. People have plenty of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

17. Gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

18. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair his notebook ... Everyone knows what happened afterwards. From the Edison Chen incident, don't say more about the reasons.

19. I'm not a fortune teller in the square, so I can't talk so much about what you like to hear.

2. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we ask too much of the story!

21. Flowers often belong to cow dung instead of people who appreciate them.

22. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

23. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is to deal with those who try their best to make you end being single.

24. Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

25. even believe has a lie hidden in the middle.

26. A true good friend is not having endless topics together, but being together, even if you don't talk, you won't feel embarrassed.

27. There is no other half with 1 points, only two people with 5 points!

28. People who are usually willing to stay and argue with you are the ones who really love you!

29. There is no rehearsal in life, and every day is live broadcast; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

3. Nothing that can be solved with money is a problem, but the problem is that I am poor.

31. Only women and heroes are sad, but only wives and jobs are hard to find.

32. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that-ah, handsome can be so specific!

33. Ask a colleague, "Did you buy PetroChina?" Colleagues said, "Bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec! "

featured

1. I wanted to die, bought a bottle of pesticide, and the lid said-another bottle

2. I sang nervously at the computer. After singing, I stopped working.

3. Others laugh at me for being too * * *, and I laugh at others for not being open

4. Confucius said: Journey to the West means the Monkey King chanting a spell and Tang Priest going crazy.

5. I don't hate you because I don't want to remember you.

6. those who always say that others are pretending to be forced, you are not even forced.

7. Your smile is brighter than that shit in the sun

8. You are not the policeman in my head, and you have no right to interfere with my direction

9. Is it that you are a dung ball rolled by the dung beetle layer of Wang Cai, a little novice monk's retarded dog raised by a mentally retarded master in Huashan?

1. Why didn't the country study bulletproof vests with your face?

11. Goose, goose, cut the curve with a knife, pluck the hair, add water, ignite and cover the pot!

12. even if you are already taken, I will substitute flowers for trees.

13. Now there is only breathing and farting in Beijing without waiting in line.

14. So far, three apples have changed the world: one seduced Eve, one awakened Newton, and the other was held by Jobs.

15. In this era when everything is going up in price, I am suddenly delighted to find that the air has not gone up in price, but there are more and more materials.

16. Now hospitals can match the speed of ATM machines to eat money.

17. There are two birds in the tree. The hunter raised his gun and shot down one. He found it was hairless, and he was wondering. The other bird flew down and scolded the hunter: MD, you shot it down as soon as I stripped her naked!

18. Taking the subway is a comprehensive sport that combines Tai Chi, Judo and bone-shrinking.

19. The later you die, the more you deserve social security!

2. Monday syndrome: yawning incessantly, listless, with dull eyes and a daze.

21. All the questions in the world can be answered by "none of your business" and "none of my business". Suddenly I feel so busy.

22. This wind is really obscene, which makes my mouth dry.

23. Despising teachers is the duty of being a human being, the traditional virtue of the Chinese nation, and the obligation of students stipulated by law!

24. When I was a child, my mother kindly said to me: Good boy, if you learn this skill, you will never die of hunger. So my mother taught me to eat!

25. Life is like anxiety, without accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling.

26. To sum up, many people nowadays pretend to be mature when they are young, and act young is old when they are old.

27. Sometimes even the city walls will be ashamed if they boast of beauty.

28. Part I: I didn't bring my student ID card, admission ticket, and part II: I didn't do the listening reading composition questions. Horizontal approval: focus on participation!

29. Men are dumped and money is a problem; The woman was dumped, the appearance problem, I was dumped, and there was something wrong with my head.

3. goods have an expiration date, and people sometimes get tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

31. In the current milk powder safety environment like China, choosing a woman with big breasts is a sign that a man is responsible for his children!

32. There is a man alive and he is dead; Some people are alive, and he should have died.

33. If one day my sister becomes crazy, please tell others that my sister is a lady.

34. You paddle hard in the pool, breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, and impressive diving! The old man on the shore was anxious: fuck! Did you drink up the cesspool and stop me from farming?

daquan

1 without you, the sky is so blue and the grass is so green, even the mental derangement has become smart!

2 don't ask for the right door, just feel in place.

3 money, let's indulge, let's make money, without condoms.

4 There are three treasures in a lie: everlasting, everlasting, and loving to the old; There are three treasures in Korean dramas: car accidents, cancer, and incurable diseases

5 The reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world and it is not appropriate. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for people on earth?

6 piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are not good, and washing and cooking are too tiring

7 Love is a glass of wine. I carefully held it for my beloved, and he accidentally spilled it, so I mixed it with water!

8 I spent years learning a perfect skill of picking up girls, but I forgot that I was a girl!

9 China's son preference problem, which can't be solved for thousands of years, has been solved by real estate.

1 I drew a coffin with you and her lying inside. How kind I am, let you die together

11 Even be careful when washing your hair, for fear that your brain will get into water

12 In fact, swans will be lonely without frogs!

13 The greatest happiness in life is that the leaves left in the teeth after eating at noon can be slowly remembered in the afternoon.

14 Every time Duan Yu knows a beauty, his father will say three words to him earnestly: "Your sister!"

15 women are often eloquent but not always in shape; Men, figure often and money not often.

16 Even if I'm a piece of dung, I'm also a piece of dung with flowers in it

17 A person walks into the library and wants to borrow a copy of Self-Killing-Pointing-South. The librarian-librarian roared: get out! You won't pay it back, and you won't borrow it!

18 the myth of our dormitory in those days: there was an incomparably awesome person who swept the mine in the Internet cafe all night, and another children's shoe watched him sweep the mine, and the other stayed up all night.

19 once upon a time, there was a WOW player who was afraid of being stolen, so he tattooed the secret treasure card on his wife. Later, his name was stolen

2. The patient said to the dentist, "You really know how to make money. You made $3 in just 3 seconds." The doctor replied, "If you like, I can pull it out in slow motion."

21 We don't produce people, we are just porters in the cemetery.

22 Lovers will eventually become house slaves, and those who have houses will be well.

23 In the past, I used to spend money at school, but now I'm spending my days at work.

24 Part I: Envy, jealousy and hate; The bottom line: empty, lonely and cold; Horizontal criticism: Paralyzing my singleness.

25 noodles were beaten by steamed bread, so I asked my cousin to take revenge on them. When the instant noodles saw the bean bag, they beat it violently. When they came back, they said to the noodles, Don't worry, I beat the shit out of it.

26 Why are you wearing a black vest in the shower? Oh! It's chest hair!

27 Be kind to yourself when you are alone; When two people are together, be kind to each other.

28 I know that you are worth tens of millions, owning countless luxury cars, private luxury restaurants, and modern agriculture and animal husbandry. Since you lost your QQ number, you have nothing, and God is not

29. I saw the number displayed from my weight, and I thought of a special literary word, it's hard to fly

3. I'm not a playboy. I just don't know where to put my heart

31 Whether everyone will know one or even more people like news broadcast, and everyday life is nothing but bragging

32 What a spicy society it will be if it is all ginger.

33 Living is your courage, and dying is your fate, but I wonder if you are half dead.

34 Adults are overdue children, and old people are invalid adults.

35 If you have time to learn Feng Shui, occupying a good tomb after death can make up for the regret that you couldn't afford a good house before your death.

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