I am most familiar with the behavior of three-minute fever.
At the end of each year, when the harvest and shortage of the year recover, the "three-minute fever" is always on the list, because I am a person who likes planning very much, and the result of planning is always anticlimactic. Until I read a book, "Persistence, a habit that can be formed", which mentioned:
We do things for three minutes because of "habitual gravity". Habitual gravity has two functions. One is to make us resist new changes. People don't like change, just like you usually get up at eight o'clock and now you are asked to get up at four o'clock. You certainly don't want to. So when things change, our bodies will resist.
Another function of "getting used to gravity" is to let us maintain the status quo. If our brain decides that a certain behavior is the same as usual, it will maintain it. For example, it is difficult to quit smoking, because the brain feels that smoking is the same as usual and there is no need to change it. In other words, if our brain thinks that a good habit is "as usual", it is easy to stick to it.
I realized that the three-minute fever was because I didn't form a habit.
So I decided to talk to her about how to cultivate habits.
I asked: since you think you are doing something for three minutes, have you ever thought about why not?
She said: I have advanced lazy cancer and great procrastination.
I said, don't talk about yourself like that. It's bad for you. Then think about it, what are you doing when you are not lazy?
She replied: watching TV, playing games, chatting with friends, attending parties and so on are not lazy.
I said: So, you are not lazy, you are just lazy in some things, which also reveals your true thoughts.
She said: what is the real idea?
Your so-called laziness and procrastination are actually signals from your subconscious. They may be saying, "My laziness and procrastination are not my problems", just like a disease. It may be that the virus has affected your body and caused you to have a fever. It's not your problem anyway. Finally, you will give yourself a conclusion. Since it's not my problem, just leave it alone and follow the usual practice. You come to me for help, just like asking a doctor for medicine with a fever. I hope it can help you get rid of procrastination.
It doesn't matter, but you have to understand one thing. You are the one who makes the decision. After you can't keep going, it's also you who ask for help. I can't give you a pill to change this reality and cheer you up and stick to it.
She asked, what should I do? Isn't it hopeless?
Of course not. If you come to me, I will definitely give you some surprises. I just hope you don't deny yourself blindly. Only by thinking, discovering and finding a solution to the problem can you really change.
"In fact, people are not afraid of anything. What they fear most is to deny themselves. If you don't want to face it yourself, it's useless for others to do anything. "
02
Next, we can simulate the process of cultivating habits.
Cultivating habits is like taking part in a 3000-meter long-distance race (we are not athletes, and 3000 meters is still somewhat difficult for ordinary people). We will feel full of power when the gunfire rings. Encouraged by high morale and the dawn of victory, we will have the illusion of a small case of 3000 meters.
Then the problem is coming. After running a 400-meter lap, the freshness and enthusiasm at first are gone. My heavy legs tell you that after only one lap, you are almost at the limit. Should I persist or give up? If I give up, it means failure, three minutes of enthusiasm and irresponsibility. How can you persist if you don't give up?
Fortunately, I have rich experience in long-distance running. As long as I have the heart, I can find out how to control my physical strength and speed at each stage. If you can't stick to it, look at the partners who stick to it like us before and after. You may be shaken by perseverance and persistence, but you will be eager to succeed. You are braver on the road than those on the observation deck.
At the end of the game, we found that we had reached the limit both physically and psychologically, and then we began to question ourselves. Why do I join this masochistic sport when I have nothing to do, just for the last quota? Is it really worth it?
Of course it's worth it. People who have never participated in the 3000-meter long-distance race will never know that when you cross the finish line with your feet, you will no longer care about your previous doubts. Your heart is full of strength, a sense of joy and satisfaction is filled in your heart, which is constantly transformed into positive energy and motivation, making your heart calm and full of strength.
Looking back, 3000 meters is really nothing. You think you can take part in the marathon through some exercise.
In this process, we can feel the four stages of habit formation: the enthusiasm and freshness at the beginning of action, the period of vacillation and resistance, the unstable period of absorbing positive energy breakthrough with methods and skills, and the joy of victory and the natural formation of habits after persistence.
It can be seen from this process that three minutes of heat is a very normal state when cultivating habits. Whether it is because of laziness, procrastination, high self-expectation or high ambition, in short, we realize that you have taken the first step on the road to change yourself here, and we need some methods and skills to successfully get through this state.
1. Meditate, relax and stabilize your mood.
In the process of cultivating habits, we may encounter various swings. At this moment, we should meditate for 5- 10 minutes, concentrate, keep emotional rationality, keep ourselves in the best condition, and devote ourselves wholeheartedly to what we are doing, because excellent people never waste time emotionally.
2. Determine the motivation of cultivating habits: love and pain.
How to start to find the habit that suits you best? You can start with what you like best, because what you like best is what you need and will make you happy. The more you like it, the more enthusiastic you are, and the easier it is to form a habit.
There is also a motive: pain, the most typical situation should be to lose weight. I had a friend in college, very gentle, weighing 200 Jin. He never felt fat, but during the final physical examination, she fell in front of many classmates. Yes, during the running test, her face turned red and her body was moving slowly, so she fell down. Then everyone, boys and girls laughed. She is not a panda, but because her flesh is shaking. At that moment, she realized that she was. 6 months to 100 kg, she hasn't rebounded yet. In the photo, she is still the gentle face, but after graduation, she kept the habit of exercising.
No matter when you like it or when you suffer, there will be a reason for you to stick to it. Choose a habit with strong feelings that is most suitable for your current development and start to cultivate it.
3. Cultivate the ritual sense of habit
1) Cultivating habits and rituals will give us a sense of urgency and improve work efficiency. For example, we have an appointment to have a big meal after work, and the time after work is deadline. Book the off-duty time in advance. In order not to be late, today's work/life arrangement will be very efficient. Similarly, if we decide to cultivate the habit of reading after work, then we will form the consciousness of "reading after work" and reserve this part of time, and everything else will be bypassed.
2) Ritual will make us form inertial thinking without thinking. For example, after getting up early every day, I always stay in bed and can't get up. I looked at my mobile phone and brushed my Tik Tok. It's time to go to work, and then I hurried to work. It's hard to guarantee even the meal time. If we set up an early morning ceremony: open your eyes-adjust your breath-get up-set the countdown to work time-wash and make up-cook/eat-pack things for work-turn on the software for listening to books-take the bus to the company, so that we can avoid staying in bed and get off to a good start before going to work. Of course, if you can't get into the state after work, you can also set up a ceremony.
3) Ritual gives us a sense of sacredness. People are particularly vulnerable to environmental influences. For example, when we arrive at the temple, we will bow down with the crowd, walk in a proper way, and quickly integrate into the atmosphere of the temple.
Cultivating the ritual sense of habits can enhance our awareness of time management, reduce distractions and protect our time of cultivating habits with a sense of sacredness.
Before cultivating habits, we can all do a habit-forming ceremony, but it is just a piece of paper, a notebook, or an electronic memo. Write a chronicle of habit cultivation, about what we will cultivate.
Chronicle of habit formation
I want to cultivate the habit of * * *, because this habit is very important to me and can alleviate the difficulties I encounter. I have made a detailed plan and have enough motivation to carry it out.
If this habit is cultivated successfully, I will reward myself.
If I give up halfway, I will meditate 100 times why I should cultivate this habit.
If I fail, I will start training again.
Start time end time
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Whenever I want to give up or fail, I will take out this chronicle and remind my initial heart through constant hints, so that I can successfully cultivate this habit.
4. Break down the big goal into small goals and make a step-by-step plan.
The most important point of habit-forming plan is: step by step.
Everyone knows that you can't eat hot tofu if you are impatient, but when it comes to implementation, you will hope for a miracle. At first glance, you will understand that it is not advisable to be whimsical, and it is faster to take your time.
Step by step, follow the steps that conform to the law and gradually advance. Just like a toddler, from an early age, arrange your time reasonably and make detailed plans and goals.
When making a plan at the beginning, you can have ambitious goals, but the entry threshold must be low to avoid setting the goals too high. Because the goal is too big and difficult, you can give up directly after hitting your self-confidence. For example, if you aim at 5,000 words and recite 50 words every day, it may not be difficult for you to recite 50 words every day at first, but the hard part is "every day". After that, you can gradually increase the number of words, give yourself enough challenges and arrange some small rewards appropriately. If you have 300 one day, you may give up the next day because you can't remember them.
It should be noted that we should not pursue perfection excessively in the initial stage, and take the completion of the goal as the first priority.
The process of habit cultivation needs to be recorded every day and feedback in time. Punching in records can avoid being too casual in execution, positive feedback can give appropriate rewards, and you can give yourself a big reward after the habit is cultivated successfully. We used a small reward to stimulate you in the early stage. When the habit is cultivated successfully, you will realize your inner change. The internal driving force is far more lasting than the external temptation. In the process of cultivating habits, recording the positive feelings of each step will make it easier for you to form habits.
5. Habit becomes nature
Persistence is a habit that can be cultivated. The temperature is normal for three minutes. If you insist on it all the time, when the heat of three minutes becomes 10 minute, 100 minute, 1000 minute, it becomes a habit itself, a natural habit.
Three minutes of heat will let us discover all kinds of interesting people or things in life. When you meet something you really like, decisively extend the habit of cultivating three-point heat. Habit is to repeat simple things into nature.
It should not be a problem to correctly understand the three-minute heat, make good use of it, and then make the discovery of the three-minute heat a habit.