A mother mouse took her child out for a walk. Suddenly, she found a cat crouching behind a bush. She looked at the cat and the cat looked at the mouse.

Mother mouse cried fiercely, "woof, woof, woof!" " The cat was so scared that it ran for its life.

Mother mouse turned to her children and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"

A mother mouse took her child out for a walk. Suddenly, she saw a cat waiting in the bushes.

Mother mouse shouted at the cat, "Woof, woof, woof". The cat was so scared that it ran away as hard as it could.

The mother mouse turned to her child and said proudly, "Now you know the importance of a foreign language."

Change, add

I work for 7-up! I work in 7-up company.

Four best friends met in the hospital because their wives were having a baby. The nurse came up to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you have twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men are like, "Well, strange, I'm the director of three musketeers." Finally, the nurse walked up to the third person and said

"Congratulations, you have twins x2." The man was very happy and said, "Ironically, I work for a hotel" for four seasons. "All three of them were happy until they saw their last partner jumping around, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work for 7-up!

Four good friends met in the hospital, and their wives were having a baby. The nurse came to the first man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to twins." The man said, "It's strange that I'm the manager of the Minnesota Twins." After a while, the nurse came to the second man and said, "Congratulations, you gave birth to triplets." Men like it very much: "Well, what a coincidence. I .. you got two pairs of twins. " The man said happily, "That's ridiculous. I work in the Four Seasons Hotel." All three of them were happy, but the fourth partner was as anxious as ants on hot bricks, cursing God and banging his head against the wall. They asked him what happened, and he replied, "What happened? I work in 7-up! "

500 times, 500 times

In the traffic court of a big city in the midwest, a young lady was brought before the judge to respond to the ticket she received for running a red light. She explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and asked that her case be dealt with immediately so that she could go to class as soon as possible. There was a flash of fanaticism in the judge's eyes. "You are a school teacher, huh?" He said. "Madam, I will realize my lifelong ambition. Sit at that table and write' I ran a red light' 500 times. "

In the traffic court of a big city in the midwest, a young lady was brought before the judge. She was given a ticket for running a red light. The lady explained to the judge that she was a school teacher and asked the judge to deal with her case immediately so that she could go back to class. The judge flashed a sly look in his eyes and said, "Are you a school teacher? Ma 'am, I'm about to realize my lifelong dream. Sit at that table and write down' I drove through a red light' 500 times. "This is not bad, huh? Haha, I didn't understand it all at first.

Who shot abraham lincoln?

Mr Smith and his son Rick are called to the teacher's classroom.

"Mr. Smith," said the teacher, "I asked Rick,' Who shot abraham lincoln?' He said he didn't do it! "

"Well, teacher," Smith said, "if my child says he didn't do it-he didn't do it!" Father and son left school. On the way home, Smith turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"

change

A lady lost her handbag in a day's shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. She looked at her purse and said, "Hmm ... that's interesting. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in my bag. There are twenty singles now. " The boy quickly replied, "That's right, madam. Last time I found a lady's wallet, she didn't have any change as a reward. "

Autograph

"Dad, can you write in the dark?"

"I think so. What do you want me to write? "

"Your name is on this report card."

Have a wife

At Sunday school, they were telling the story of creation, and Johnny heard how Eve was created from Adam's side.

Later that week, Johnny's mother noticed him lying down as if he were ill. She asked:

What's the matter with you?

I have pain in my flank. I think I'm going to have a wife

Free haircut

A man and a little boy walked into a barber shop together. After the man received a full set of services-shaving, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. -He put the boy on the chair.

"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear in the parade," he said. I'll be back in a few minutes. "

When the boy finished cutting his hair and the man didn't come back, the barber said, "It seems that your father has forgotten all about you."

"That's not my father," said the boy. "He came over and took my hand and said,' Come on, son, we're going to get a free haircut! "

go to school

Tommy has reached the age of school. His mother successfully carried out a publicity campaign to make him enthusiastic about the idea. She bought him a lot of new clothes and told him about the new friends he would meet and so on. On the first day, he couldn't wait to go and came home with many enthusiastic reports about the school.

The next morning, when she woke him up, he asked, "Why?" She told him that it was time to get ready for school.

"What, again?" He asked.

Happy birthday to you.

A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights dimmed, and then the choir came down the aisle with lighted candles. All was silent until the little guy began to sing loudly, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you ... "Adam's suit.

A little boy opened a big old family Bible. He flipped through old books with fascination. Then something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it carefully. It is an old leaf pressed between the pages. "Mom, look what I found," the boy shouted. "Honey, what do you have?" His mother asked. There was surprise in the little boy's voice, and he replied, "I think this is Adam's dress!" ! ! ! ! "

foolish

A little girl and her father were eating candy at the barber shop when the candy slipped from her fingers into a pile of hair on the floor.

"Oh, honey, is there any hair on your candy?" The barber asked.

"Don't be silly, I was only three years old! ! "The girl said!

almost

Father: How was your exam?

Son: I got nearly 100 in every subject.

Father: What do you mean near 100?

Son: The question didn't give me any trouble, only the answer!

[Note 1] Publicity N.

[Note 2] N channel.

[Note 3] Magic, infatuation, charm, infatuation and passion

[Note 4] Surprised.

answer

Teacher to student: Arnold, what is the most popular answer to the teacher's question?

Arnold: I don't know, madam.

Teacher: Correct! '

spontaneous labor

A boy was assigned a paper about childbirth. He asked his parents, "How was I born?"

"Dear," said my parents, who were a little stiff, "The stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy. "Well, how were you and dad born?" He asked.

"Oh, the stork brought us, too."

"How were Grandpa and Grandma born?" He insisted.

"Honey, the stork is here!" The parent said.

A few days later, the boy handed the paper to the teacher. The first sentence is:

"This report is difficult to write because three generations in our family have never given birth naturally."

gift

It's the last day of school, and all the students are bringing presents to their teachers. A florist's daughter came over and gave her teacher a box. The teacher said, "I bet these are flowers!" " The girl replied, "How do you know?" It's just a lucky guess, "she said.

Next, a boy with a candy store came over and gave the teacher a box. She said she knew it was candy. When the boy asked her how she knew, she added, "It's just a lucky guess."

Finally, a boy whose father runs a hotel came over and gave the teacher a box, but one corner of the box was wet because of water leakage. The teacher asked the boy if this was wine. The boy said, "No." She felt the leak, put it on her tongue and asked if it was champagne. The boy said no again. Finally, she gave up and asked him what was in the box. He said happily, "A puppy [6]!"

scanty

A child comes home from school on the first day. His mother asked, "So, what did you learn today?"

The child replied, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow. "

alarmed and panicky

The little boy didn't do well in school. One day, he surprised the teacher He patted her on the shoulder and said. "I don't want to scare you, but my father said that if I didn't get good grades, someone would be beaten."

cosmetology

Little Johnny watched with fascination as his mother put cold cream on his face. "Why did you do this, Mom?" He asked. "To make myself beautiful," his mother said, and then began to wipe off the cream with a paper towel. "What's the matter?" Little Johnny asked. "Give up?"

play

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go out and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with boys. They are too rude." The little girl thought for a moment and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

Understand; Understanding

A boy is four years old, but he hasn't given up the habit of sucking his thumb, although his mother has tried various methods, from bribery to reasoning, to painting his thumb with lemon juice to stop this habit. Finally, she tried the threat and warned her son, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach will swell like a balloon." Later that day, mother and son were walking in the park and saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old girl looked at her seriously for a while, and then said to her, "Uh-oh ... I know what you have been doing."

You are Jesus.

A mother is preparing pancakes for her five-year-old son Kevin and her three-year-old son Ryan. The boys began to argue about who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity to learn a moral lesson and said, "If Jesus were sitting here, he would say,' Let my brother eat the first pancake. I can eat when he has finished eating.

So Kevin turned to his brother and said, "Ryan, you are Jesus."

answer

A first-grade teacher is telling her students the story of three little pigs. She talked about the place where pigs got building materials, and said, "The first pig walked up to a man and asked,' Excuse me, sir, can I have some straw to build a house?' "

The teacher wanted to know whether the students were listening attentively, so she asked, "What do you think this man said?"

A boy raised his hand and said, "I think that person may have said something like' Wow! A talking pig! "

Stiff; restrained

[Note 2] Storks [birds] Storks

[Note 3] Flower shop

[Note 4] Humidity

[Note 5] Champagne

Puppy [note 6] n. (often less than one year old) Puppy, small animal, conceited youth

[note 7] spanking n. slapping, spanking; Intense; Swift; Significantly

[Note 8] Cold cream (a cosmetic)

Tissue paper [Note 9] Tissue paper

[Note 10] Play, tease and fiddle; Do not seriously consider (a problem).

Play with fire and do dangerous things.

Thumb, clumsily handle, break, flip, and make a gesture of lifting.

[Note 12] Bribery; Take a bribe, take a bribe, be bribed

[Note 13] blow up forms the storm blow up. The storm broke out suddenly.

[Note 14] Go up.

sympathize with

A new teacher tried to take advantage of her psychology course. When she started the class, she said, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid stands up!"

After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Little Johnny, do you think you are stupid?"

"No, madam, but I hate to see you standing there alone!

threaten

A mafia son sat at his desk and wrote a Christmas list for Jesus. He first wrote, "Dear little Jesus, I have been a good boy all year, so I want a new one …" He looked at it, then crumpled it up and threw it away.

He took out a new piece of paper and wrote, "Dear little Jesus, I have been a good boy for a year, so I want a new one …" He looked at it again in disgust and threw it away.

Then he had an idea. He went into his mother's room, picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, put it in the closet, and locked the door. He picked up another piece of paper and wrote, "Dear little Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again, ...

difficult problem

Mom and dad tried to comfort Susie that her dog had recently died.

"You know, it's not your fault that the dog died. He may be in heaven now, spending a good time with God. "

Susie was still crying. She said, "What does God want with a dead dog?"

Where is God?

A little girl was eating doughnuts on her way to church. Because she couldn't eat in it, she put it outside. She prayed, "God, can you watch my doughnuts and don't go anywhere else?" Thank you! " Then she went in. When the priest said, "God is here, God is there, and God is everywhere!" " The little girl said, "You are wrong! God is watching my doughnuts outside! "

punish

Boy: Will you punish me for something I didn't do?

Teacher: Of course not!

Boy: Good, because I didn't do my homework!

The ugliest

Three friends died and went to heaven. The first man was handcuffed to the ugliest girl there.

"Why?" He asked.

Sao Paulo replied, "When you were nine years old, you killed a bird with a stone." So is the second person. He asked why.

Sao Paulo replied, "When you were nine years old, you killed a bird with a stone." The third man laughed at his friend and said, "Thank God, I didn't do that." He was handcuffed to the most beautiful girl in heaven. The other two asked, "Why?"

"Because she killed a bird with a stone when she was nine years old."

difficult problem

A group of kindergarten children went to the local police station to take part in a class outing, where they saw a photo of the 65438 most wanted man nailed to the bulletin board.

One of the young people pointed to a photo and asked if it was really a picture of a wanted man.

"Yes," replied the policeman.

"Well," thought the child, "why didn't you leave him when you took his picture?"