Some things don't win the consent of the other party through frank talk, or you have made it clear that the other party refuses to promise before you fight for it. In this case, you should take unfair and concealed methods. "Grievance" refers to not directly coming forward or directly taking the purpose, but bypassing the other party's disapproval and making the other party accept it through another temporary false purpose. When the other party enters the trap set by himself, his real purpose is achieved. The so-called "obscurity" is to cover up your true purpose so that the other party can't notice it. On the surface, it seems that you don't have some kind of attempt, or make the other person feel that some kind of attempt doesn't start from yourself, but from another person. In this way, the other party may no longer be alert and worried, and it is obviously much easier to do things in this unguarded and worried state.
The biggest feature of the concealment of public opinion is concealment or concealment, and some tips need to be carefully understood in the specific transportation.
1. Induce others to help you
Wright, editor-in-chief of The New York Daily, lacks a clever assistant. Wright's eyes were fixed on young john hay. At that time, John Hay had just resigned as a diplomat in Madrid, Spain, and was preparing to return to his hometown of Illinois to engage in legal work.
Wright invited him to dinner at the League Club. After dinner, he suggested inviting john hay to visit the newspaper. In many telegrams, he found an important message. It happened that the editor of Foreign News was not in at that time, so he said to john hay, "Please sit down and write an editorial about this news for tomorrow's newspaper." John hay couldn't refuse, so he picked up a pen and began to write.
The editorial was so well written that Rhett asked him to help him for another week or a month and gradually put him in this position. John hay unconsciously gave up his plan of going back to his hometown as a lawyer and stayed in new york as a reporter.
From this, we can draw a law of asking for help: it is better to ask for it than to ask for it. Persuasion is better than inducement.
There is a fable that a coachman pulled his car onto the bridge, which was too steep to pull. He used his quick wits, pressed the handlebar hard and began to sing loudly. When he sang, the people in front stopped to look at him, and the people behind wanted to see what happened. They caught up with him after a few steps, and the driver took the opportunity to beg everyone to help push the cart. With concerted efforts, the car was pushed onto the bridge.
The coachman understands people's curiosity and onlookers, so he doesn't rely on brute force to pull the cart by himself, but sings on the handlebar to create conditions for asking others for help. If he can't get someone to push the cart, even if he tries his best, he can't pull the cart to the bridge.
The driver's control strategy is superb. It was originally for help, but it turned out to be someone else's voluntary behavior, and there was no trace of help.
When using this strategy, it should be noted that when inducing others to participate in their own business, they should first arouse the interest of others.
When you want to induce others to do an easy thing, you have to give them a little victory first. When you want to induce others to do an important thing, you'd better give him a strong stimulus to make him have the desire to do it successfully. In this case, his self-esteem was aroused and he was stimulated by a desire for success, so he would be happy to try again for a pleasant experience. All leaders know that this is an important strategy to get people to cooperate.
In a word, if you want to arouse others' enthusiastic participation in your plan, you must first induce them to try. If possible, you can also let them start with simple things. These things that are easy to succeed are often an exciting real success for them.
Give in to the other side
There is a saying in Sun Tzu's Art of War that a fortress is the easiest to break from the inside. If you can't storm in public, you can outsmart them secretly.
Journey to the West said that Tang Priest and his disciples went to the Western Heaven to learn Buddhist scriptures and met the flaming mountain on the way. Although the Monkey King is very capable, he can't let it go. Finally, he had to plead with Princess Iron Fan and borrow her fan. Who knows this woman didn't attend, the Monkey King became a suspicious little flying insect and got into the princess's belly with an iron fan. After a while, the princess was fed up and had to surrender.
Zhong You was a famous painter in the Southern Tang Dynasty during the Five Dynasties and Ten Kingdoms period. His family was rich and tired of worldly affairs, so he learned from his predecessor Tao Yuanming and became a hermit.
Zhong Yin lives in seclusion in the deep mountains, cultivating self-cultivation. One of his favorite things to do is to smash paintings, draw flowers, bamboos, birds and landscape figures, and also entertain himself.
But I painted for a while. Zhong Yin has the problem of "high-minded but low-minded".
Zhong Yin realized through calm reflection that the fault lies in her poor painting skills. So I decided to go down the mountain and learn from the teacher. After going down the mountain, I found that the master of painting flowers and birds was Guo Yuhui. He was a natural painter, especially good at painting birds. Zhong Yin was overjoyed and immediately went to Guo Fu to learn from him.
Unexpectedly, Guo is not a layman. Although he has special skills, he refuses to help people easily. When the old man paints, he always asks the servant to close the door, lest passers-by or intruders on the road catch a glimpse of a trick. Therefore, Zhong Yin rushed to Guo Fu, and even before he set foot in the gate, the concierge was thrown out.
Zhong Yin is very sensible. He patted his head and cursed himself: damn it, damn it! After living in seclusion in the mountains, I forgot all the secular rules. I thought Confucius was going to take students and bacon. Why did I come empty-handed?
So, Zhong Yin went home, prepared a car full of money, and paid attention to it again. Who knows that the concierge is still stuck at the door, and he sarcastically said, "Do you think our master is short of money? To tell you the truth, our master uses strokes to circle. Enough for your son to eat for about a year. I also want to play here, and I didn't see the house number clearly! "
No way, Zhong Yin had to pull a load of silver to go home despondently.
Can't enter the teacher, Zhong Yin tea rice is not fragrant, can't sleep at night. As the saying goes, "God won't close one door, but he will open another." Finally, Zhong Yin came up with a wonderful juice. Since the right path doesn't work, why not take the side road? So, disguised as a page, he volunteered to be a slave in Guo Fu, repeatedly stressing that he only made a living and had no salary. After all, he is a painter, and even a porter can't recognize him with makeup. Yu Nan was not demanding, and Guo Fu lacked manpower, so he was taken in.
As soon as Zhong Yin entered, he coaxed him up and down, which frightened the old gentleman Guo. The old gentleman took all precautions against him and even asked him to stand aside and study pen and ink while painting. He had no idea that he was a spy.
At this time, Zhong Yin was satisfied, and he could enjoy Mr. Guo's colorful brush strokes to the fullest. Before long, he memorized the secret skills of the old man.
Who knows, the more you learn painting skills, the harder it is to itch. One day, Zhong Yin couldn't bear it any longer. On the spur of the moment, he secretly drew a pigeon on the wall, which was both beautiful and beautiful. Someone reported it to Mr. Guo, and the old man went to see it after hearing the news. When he saw it, he was shocked and knew that it was not painted by an amateur. So Zhong Yin was called to ask questions.
Zhong Yin saw that the paper could not hold fire, so he had to tell the whole story. Mr. Guo was not angry after listening, but was greatly moved: "Xianggong did not hesitate to be a slave in order to learn painting." How dare you be an old lady? " Learning like this is really rare in the world, so I will make an exception and put you under the door. "
From then on, Mr. Guo and Zhong Yin became masters and apprentices, secretly talking about their ways and imparting stunts. One is devoted to studying hard and trying to figure it out carefully. Sure enough, Zhong Yin got her wish and made great progress in technology. His paintings, such as the picture of birds mixed with eagles and pigeons, and the picture of reunion, have been handed down to future generations.
3. Ingeniously "borrow" other people's words
In order to promote venetian blinds, someone knew that the manager and a director of a company had known each other for a long time, so they inquired about the manager's residence and went to visit with a bag of fruit. After greeting, he said something like this: "I came to your door this time because I was introduced by Director Wang, and he asked me to say hello to you for him ..."
"To tell you the truth, meeting for the first time made me very happy ... I heard from Director Wang that your company didn't install venetian blinds ..."
The next day, the man sold Venetian blinds to the company, and the deal was made. His genius lies in deliberately putting aside himself, using the circuitous attack mode of "being introduced by Director Wang", borrowing people's words, expressing my heart, and borrowing the power of others to make the other party accept it quickly.
One day, the salesman of a real estate company who handled the transfer of real estate came to a customer's house with a letter of introduction from a friend. After exchanging pleasantries, I heard him say, "It's nice to meet you this time, because my boss Zhao Chuanke admires you very much and told me that if I visit you, please sign this book ..." As he spoke, he took out his friend's newly published book from his briefcase. So this friend can't help trusting him. Here, section chief Zhao's admiration and signature request is just an excuse to compliment this friend and make him laugh.
How to let people know that you are friends of friends and relatives is obviously far-fetched, but most people will not refute friends' faces or shut you out. This is a shortcut to ask for help.
It is very common to convey one's feelings and wishes through the words of a third party in the process of handling affairs. People will unconsciously play this skill. For example, "I heard from my colleague Lao Zhang that you are a warm-hearted person, so you can't go wrong …" and so on. But be careful, this kind of words is not just talk, and it can't be too outrageous. Sometimes it is necessary to investigate and study proudly in advance.
In order to get to know each other in advance, you can ask others about each other. The information provided by the third party is very important, especially when the first meeting with the respondent is of great significance, it is more important to collect the information of the other party as much as possible. However, we can't treat all the information provided by the third party as words, but also choose according to our own needs, and cooperate with our own field observation, personal experience and flexible quotation. At the same time, the relationship between this third party and the trustee must be clarified. This is very important, otherwise, it may be counterproductive.