Cross talk name: "Who owes whom"

Performers: Hou Yaowen, Shi Fukuan, Yang Jinming

Lines:

Hou: So long I haven't had time to meet you all, but I finally have the opportunity to see you all today. I heard that everyone is rich and rich. I will see you when I have time and come to your house to see you. Don't be afraid, I'm just looking at you, nothing else.

Yang: Mr. Hou! Can I ask you something?

Hou: Oh, you say.

Yang: Do you think Shi Fukuan’s family is rich?

Shi: This is called asking for my privacy!

Hou: You don’t study or read newspapers, right?

Yang: What?

Hou: What a rich man Shi Fukuan is!

Yang: Really?

Hou: Every year there is a ranking list of the richest people in the world.

Yang: Yes.

Hou: Do you know, there are 500 people in a ***?

Yang: Where does he rank?

Hou: Right in the middle.

Yang: Two hundred and five!

Hou: No matter where he ranks, it at least proves that he is rich! Second, people are in the front.

Yang: That’s still without him!

Hou: How can you say there is no him!

Yang: How can you prove that their family is rich?

Hou: How to prove it?

Yang: Ah!

Hou: A few days ago, when it didn’t rain, the temperature in Beijing was quite high, right?

Yang: Ah.

Hou: You see, he always wears a green T-shirt when he comes out, with green blooms and three golden stripes on the back.

Shi: That’s a toad!

Hou: Just that, that...

Yang: I know the one you mentioned, it’s called Wasaki!

Hou: Yes! Wa, I don’t know what death is called.

Yang: Wasachi!

Hou: Wa, tile is eaten. Yes, yes! Do you know how much that piece of clothing costs?

Yang: How much is it?

Hou: Four thousand yuan! People can wear it if they want, and take it off if they want! Go over there...

Yang: Who did you listen to?

Hou: That’s what he said.

Yang: More than four thousand yuan?

Hou: Of course! !

Yang: I bought it for five yuan! Do you know the origin of that dress?

Hou: I don’t know.

Yang: Hou Yaohua went to Muxi Garden and met someone who was auctioning off counterfeit goods. Two pieces cost ten yuan. He wanted one piece, but he hadn’t paid for it yet!

Hou: Hey, have you seen that watch he wears?

Yang: What watch?

Hou: Shi Fu has a wide watch with such a big gold shell.

Yang: There is such a piece.

Hou: There is a cross on the dial, the Red Cross...

Yang: The Red Cross will send out the dial?

Hou: What is that?

Yang: That’s Vacheron Constantin!

Hou: Oh, yes! Vacheron Constantin. That watch is so beautiful! More than 400,000 yuan. I saw him wash his hands that day...

Yang: More than 400,000 yuan? ! !

Hou: I took it off, bang, and threw it into the pool. I felt bad when I saw it...

Yang: That watch is fake. I bought it for 47 yuan. of.

Hou: Where?

Yang: I went to the Tianjin Foreign Goods Market with him last year, and we walked around for a long time talking about prices, forty-seven yuan.

Hou: Have you seen him wearing those leather shoes?

Yang: What leather shoes?

Hou: A big pair of leather shoes, shiny leather, calfskin, really nice! There is a photo of his grandfather on the insole.

Shi: That’s your grandfather!

Hou: Anyway, just one, the one with curly hair.

Yang: I know, you said it was called, old man!

Hou: Yes! Old man, his grandfather. Then, on the insole.

Yang: Old man.

Hou: Just that pair of leather shoes costs more than 10,000 yuan!

Yang: How much do you want? More than 10,000 yuan? !

Hou: Ah.

Yang: Zoo Leather Shoes City, three pairs for 100 yuan, and a leather suitcase as a gift.

Hou: I can’t chat with you anymore.

Yang: What?

Hou: That’s how you are. When you see others getting rich and living better, your eyes turn red. You are not such a pickpocket!

Yang: How much money does he have!

Hou: You are making people laugh while others are angry.

Yang: He even borrowed 100,000 from me when he had money!

Hou: Impossible! Even if you beat me to death, I will...

Yang: What is impossible!

Hou: Shi Fukuan borrowed 100,000 yuan from you? !

Yang: Of course!

Shi: (Taps Yang on the shoulder from behind)

Hou: Even if you beat him to death, I won’t believe it!

Shi: Hehehe, stop talking!

Yang: Mr. Shi~! Hehe~ Mr. Shi, are you here too?

Shi: I’ve been here for a long time. Who is this person chatting with you?

Yang: Him?

Shi: Ah!

Yang: Hou Yaowen.

Shi: Hou Yaowen?

Yang: Ah!

Shi: What are you selling?

Yang: What to sell! Hou Yaowen is a famous cross talk artist!

Shi: Artist? Pooh! What about artists? Let me ask you something.

Yang: Ah, you said it.

Shi: You have a good mind, so remember carefully. Do you still remember Hou Yaowen’s eyes and what his eyelids looked like a few years ago? Do you all have an impression? Hou Yaowen has an eyelid?

Yang: Single eyelids!

Shi: Now?

Yang: Double eyelids!

Shi: Why does he have double eyelids when it’s okay?

Yang: I don’t know.

Shi: Don’t know? Let me tell you, that’s called plastic surgery! He changed his appearance, afraid that I would recognize him!

Yang: What?

Shi: He owes me one hundred thousand and won’t pay back. In order to avoid debts, he had his eyelids pierced and always wore a hood when going out. That's him!

Yang: He owes you one hundred thousand yuan?

Shi: Yes!

Yang: Oh, Mr. Shi, I can’t control it. You owe me that 100,000 yuan, when will you pay it back?

Shi: Who are you? I don't know you.

Yang: Hey! Why don't you know me? You, noble man, forget things a lot. Please take a closer look. My name is Yang Jinming.

Shi: Are you Yang Jinming’s uncle? Why are you so old?

Yang: I’m so anxious that I can’t find you!

Shi: Why are you looking for me when you have nothing to do?

Yang: Have you forgotten? You lent me 100,000 yuan and said you would pay it back in one month, but it took so long...

Shi: You can't just say it! Do you have any evidence?

Yang: Yes, yes, you gave me an IOU. Look, (open the note), is this the IOU from you?

Shi: Oh...is it signed by me?

Yang: My signature... Where do you think you are selling books? This has your signature and your fingerprints.

Shi: Oh! Bring it over and let me take a look.

Yang: Don’t look at it yet! As soon as you see my evidence, all the evidence is gone.

Shi: That’s not right! I've spent all the money! What's the use of keeping it?

Yang: Hey! ! !

Shi: Yes.

Yang: Co-author, you said, you mean, after you have spent all my 100,000 yuan, I have no use for this. Aren’t you cheating me? You see, my wife said, go find him and perform at the Palace of Nationalities, right? Hey, Mr. Shi, I have an explanation when I go back. Haha ~ Uncle Shi.

Shi: Hehe~ What do you call me? Make it clear.

Yang: Grandpa Shi! Hey hey hey~ You can discuss it and I will go there to make an explanation.

Shi: Just call it nice. Okay, let me discuss it with you.

Yang: Hey! Okay! That's it!

Shi: Wait a moment.

Shi: Hey, Mr. Hou. You see, it's not me. I'm always chasing you, paying debts for debts! That's not what I meant. He pressed the debt too hard and there was nothing he could do! I invited you here today. That’s what I mean.

Hou: Don’t worry about it, I’ll tell him.

What is your name?

Yang: My name is Yang Jinming.

Hou: Jing, is it Jin?

Yang: Enter the Ming Dynasty!

Hou: Jinming, good. Well, why are you looking for him?

Yang: Go to him and ask for an account.

Hou: Does he deserve your money?

Yang: Ah.

Hou: How much should you pay?

Yang: One hundred thousand.

Hou: Is there any evidence?

Yang: Did he write an IOU?

Hou: Oh... you ask him for it. Do you want it?

Yang: It’s hard to ask for.

Hou: If it’s not good, don’t take it.

Yang: Hey! ! ! The two of them are venting their anger! What did I say don't want it? Is it easy for me to earn this little money? You didn’t pay me back after borrowing it for such a long time!

Hou: No, you, you, you... (turning to Shi) When did you borrow it from him?

Shi: That’s it, October 5th.

Hou: (to Yang) Bah! !

Yang: What’s wrong? What's wrong?

Hou: I borrowed the money from you on October 5th, but today is only the 7th! ! You pressed for debt in just two days, who are you, Huang Shiren? !

Yang: Who is Huang Shiren?

Hou: You are!

Yang: Who is Huang Shiren?

Hou: You! !

Yang: He borrowed it on October 5th last year! ! I’ve been borrowing it for more than a year! !

Hou: (to Shi) You, you, have you been there for more than a year?

Shi: Ah, more than a year. He doesn't look for me.

Hou: Why don’t you look for him?

Yang: (to Shi) Who isn’t looking for you? Who is not looking for you? ! Even the police at the police station can’t find you!

Shi: You call me!

Hou: Hey!

Yang: Call? Your cell phone is shut down!

Shi: Come to my home!

Yang: My family is looking for you - do you still have a family? Your houses are all sold!

Hou: Find his wife!

Yang: Who are you looking for?

Hou: He loves!

Yang: Looking for his lover?

Hou: Yes!

Yang: His wife went to Thailand with a rich man!

Shi: Ah, this is called not letting go of the old and not coming of the new~~ Haha, I don’t take it to heart!

Yang: (Going to Shi) I don’t care whether you have a new one or an old one, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you have to pay me, you, I’m you, you, you, you need to do, have to pay to do me, pay-tride, problem to take to take it from home.”

Shi: You are just stubborn! Don't understand?

Yang: I don’t understand.

Shi: It’s not that I won’t pay you back. Because he lent me money and didn't pay me back. I don't have any money in my hand. How can I pay you back? If he pays me back, I will pay you back if I have money! Do you understand?

Yang: I understand what you said. You lent him the money.

Shi: Yes!

Yang: He can’t pay you back,

Shi: Yes!

Yang: You can’t pay me back either.

Shi: That’s what it means.

Yang: Do you have proof?

Shi: Of course, I have an IOU. (Open the note)

Yang: Who hit you?

Shi: Hou Yaowen. I have proof here too.

Yang: Did he write an IOU?

Shi: Take a good look. (Hands the note to Yang)

Yang: Then I have to take a look. It's written in enough detail.

Shi: Please read it aloud.

Yang: Today I borrowed RMB 100,000 from Shi Fukuan, 9 strokes of 100, 9 strokes of 50, 9 strokes of 20, 9 strokes of 10 yuan, 9 strokes of 5 yuan, and 9 strokes of 2 yuan. Stroke, 9 strokes of 1 yuan, and the remaining coins add up to a total of 100,000 yuan. Hou Yaowen.

Shi: Look, I am so careful.

Yang: Please ask him for it quickly!

Shi: Yes. Don't look at others coming, it's hard to get money.

Yang: What?

Shi: I need your help.

Yang: How can I help?

Shi: You don’t know, this person specializes in borrowing money.

Yang: Are you studying borrowing money?

Shi: Alas! Research who to borrow, how much to borrow, and why you won’t exchange the money. So you have to pay attention to this. Deal with him, don't get yourself involved.

Yang: Don’t get me in?

Shi: Yes, you talk to him.

Yang: Can I ask? Eh...

Shi: Where can I pick up cigarette butts?

Yang: Mr. Hou! Mr. Hou! Mr. Hou! Let me ask you something.

Hou: What’s wrong?

Yang: Mr. Shi said you would lend him 100,000 yuan. Yes or no?

Hou: Yes.

Yang: Aren’t you going to pay him back today?

Hou: Who said that?

Yang: Him!

Hou: What does it have to do with you if I borrow money from him? No, you don’t understand this. The money exchange between the two of us means that we two brothers have this kind of friendship, do you understand? We brothers grew up together, you know? Between us, what's his is mine, and what's mine is his, and we eat and drink alike. Nothing to do with you.

Shi: Point it! point! Be careful, this is where you start to default on your debt!

Hou: Fu Kuan, what you said is wrong.

Shi: What’s wrong?

Hou: The two of us have agreed upon it.

Shi: Yes.

Hou: What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours.

Shi: There is something wrong with this sentence! What do you mean, what is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine?

Hou: Yes! Look, I can't pry it off with tweezers, and I borrowed 100,000 yuan from you. That's right, your money doesn't belong to me!

Shi: Yes!

Hou: Yes, isn’t my account yours?

Shi: Why is it so chaotic?

Hou: It’s not chaotic at all.

※￥##%...

Shi:...%￥#◎%￥%...

(Yang blocked the stone)

Hou: The trouble lies with you! How can one horse and two heads be safe without any trouble?

Yang: (to Shi) Can we not shout? This is all a fight, can we talk it through? If you tell me carefully, won't we solve the problem?

Shi: Good. (Going to the stone)

The stage has been swept away and there is nothing there. Please stop touching it. It's not easy for the three of us to get together today. Let's talk about this in front of everyone! Let's clear this account and write it off, okay?

Yang: Great!

Shi: OK?

Hou: I would rather fight with a sensible person than say a word to a confused person, especially for something simple! (To Yang) What are you going to do?

Yang: I asked him for money.

Hou: How much does he want from you?

Yang: One hundred thousand!

Hou: One hundred thousand, right?

Yang: Ah!

Hou: OK, I will pay the debt for him, and I will give you one hundred thousand yuan.

Shi: OK!

Yang: Will you repay the money for him?

Hou: Yes!

Yang: Thank you so much! ! Thanks!

Hou: I can’t finish repaying it for him! Isn’t it just one hundred thousand yuan?

Yang: Ah, one hundred thousand yuan.

Hou: What are you doing, you are so anxious and white-faced.

(Going to Shi)

Shi: Thank you!

Hou: I paid back the money for you.

Shi: Thank you.

Hou: No more polite words. However, before I pay you back, I must criticize you a few words.

Shi: OK.

Hou: Why did you ask him to borrow money?

Shi: At that time, the turnover could not be opened.

Hou: When you borrowed money, did you think about whether you would be able to pay it back?

Shi: I didn’t think so much about it at the time.

Hou: Look at this guy, how can you borrow money from him? Um? Looks like shrimp! Of course, it's not easy for you to borrow money from him.

Shi: It’s very laborious.

Hou: But look at him. How long ago did you borrow money from him?

Shi: One year.

Hou: One year, look at this man, he looks like he is in his seventies.

Shi: He likes to be anxious.

Hou: So for a person like you, who has to do this kind of thing and doesn’t have the brains, why do you write a one-year loan when you write an IOU?

Shi: So how many years should we write?

Hou: It took you three years to write!

Shi: Why is this?

Hou: This man is dying of anxiety.

Shi: Yes! right!

Yang: What does it mean to be anxious to death? ! ! What does it mean to be anxious to death? ! !

Shi: Yes! This eliminates the need.

Hou: Do you bite others or not you?

Yang: How to speak?

Hou: What does it have to do with you if I talk to him?

Yang: Say!

Hou: Why do you want to wrap your mouth upside down?

Up to now, I still don’t have enough money, I don’t dare to turn on my mobile phone, and I have sold my house. Where is my lover? Isn’t that right? He also went to Thailand to watch the tsunami.

Shi: I didn’t go there specifically to see it, I just caught up.

Hou: Let’s be more discerning in the future.

Shi: Alas.

Hou: How ugly it will be when people come after you and ask for money! How uncomfortable! I'll pay back the money for you and that's it.

Shi: Thank you, thank you.

Hou: Isn’t this enough to criticize him? Let me criticize you a few words.

Yang: What happened to me?

Hou: Why did you lend him the money?

Yang: Who should I borrow?

Hou: Lend me!

Yang: I know you haven’t paid it back yet!

Hou: Of course, you don’t want to lend it to me. If you lend him 100,000 yuan, just pay interest on the 10,000 yuan, right? ah?

Yang: That’s not the case.

Hou: No such thing? I'm embarrassed to say it. Tell everyone that in order to help Shi Fukuan, I lent him 100,000 yuan. Are you helping him? Um? Look at him now, he doesn't dare to use his cell phone, his house has been sold, and his wife is now here - the police over there said they wanted him to take a handkerchief to carry the body over there. Are you immoral or not immoral? Forget it, don't worry, I'll pay back the 100,000 yuan for him. OK?

Yang: Thank you! Thanks!

Hou: (to Shi) I paid back the money for you.

Shi: I have thanked you several times.

Hou: Farewell, you’re welcome. Then I owe you the 100,000 yuan?

Shi: Then we don’t owe each other anything, no more.

Hou: Oh, okay. Hey, what about the IOU?

Shi: Oh, here is the IOU. Useless.

Hou: I paid him back the money for you, what about this IOU?

Shi: That’s useless.

Hou: What should I do if it doesn’t work?

Shi: Let’s tear him apart.

Hou: Just tear it up and that’s it.

Shi: Yes, tear it apart...hehe~~Wait a moment, I will confirm.

(To Yang) Mr. Yang, I owe you the one hundred thousand, and Mr. Hou said he would pay it back for me. Do you agree with this?

Yang: Raise three hands in agreement.

Hou: Watch out for the thief.

Yang: Who is the thief!

Hou: Don’t you have three hands?

Yang: My wife, our son, and me are three hands.

Hou Shi: Oh, a family.

Shi: If he paid it back for me, then I owe you the debt, and between us...

Yang: If he paid it back, we will have no debt.

Shi: There is no account, ah, then my IOU...?

Yang: The IOU is useless.

Shi: What should I do if it doesn’t work?

Yang: It’s over if we just tear it up.

(Yang and Shi tore up the IOU together)

No debt.

Shi: Let’s go then, see you later~ (Hou Shi walks down the stage)

Yang: Is this the end of the bill? ! return! return! Where is the debt? What does it mean to have no account?

(Hou Shi comes back)

Hou: What are you yelling about?

Yang: I just said yes!

Hou: What can you say that’s good?

Yang: Doesn’t he want to pay me back?

Hou: Who deserves your money?

Yang: Him!

Hou: How much should you pay?

Yang: I deserve one hundred thousand.

Hou: Do you have any evidence?

Yang: There is an IOU!

Hou: Where is the IOU?

Yang: Don’t tear up the IOU...

Hou: Just tear it up and that’s it!

Shi: Is it over?

Yang: ...55555555555 Who can I ask for money after I tear it up?

Yang: Hey hey hey hey hey~~~

Hou: Mom.

Shi: This person needs to be crazy!

Hou: Don’t let him bite!

Yang: I remember it! I just tore this piece off, it was a photocopy!

Hou:? ! ! well! What a fool you are for taking a copy!

Shi: Where is the original?

Hou: Why do you have no integrity at all?

Yang: Who has no integrity! You have no integrity!

Hou: You have no integrity! Get a copy and take a look! ※×￥#￥%...

Yang: (Taking out the original) Wait a minute! Open your navels and take a look. Did you write this?

Shi: I don’t understand your language!

Yang: Let me tell you, if you don’t change the money, I will sue you!

Hou: (grabbing Yang) What do you want to do?

Yang: I’ll sue you!

Hou: Who are you suing?

Yang: Sue you!

Hou: If you complain, you won’t be able to explain clearly even when you get there. Right? How much does he owe you?

Yang: One hundred thousand.

Hou: Didn’t I tell you just now? He owes you 100,000 yuan. If I pay it back for him, won’t it be over?

Yang: You pay it back for him, but you haven’t given me the money yet!

Hou: What...

Yang: You haven't given me any money yet! You give me money! !

Shi: My throat is broken, what’s the matter with you! What's wrong is this.

Yang: That’s not the case.

Hou: This little money is nothing.

Yang: Give me money!

Hou: Forget it... (Take out a lot of cards)

Yang: You have cards, you can just take them out early.

Hou: ...Here you go. (Give Yang a card)

Yang: Is this money?

Hou: There are one hundred thousand.

Yang: One hundred thousand. Recharge card? !

Hou: Ah.

Yang: When can I use the 100,000 yuan to recharge my mobile phone?

Hou: From now on, you can call the United States for two hours a day and you won’t have to pay for it for a year.

Yang: We don’t have this relative in our family.

Hou: You recognize one. It would be great if the United States recognized a godfather...

Yang: No, no! I don't want it! Give me another one!

Hou: ...this. (Gives Yang another card)

Yang: Is there any money here?

Hou: Rich, one hundred thousand.

Yang: Beauty card...beauty card! What do I need a beauty card for? !

Shi: Practical!

Hou: You beautify... let everyone see how you look like this. You spend 100,000 yuan to beautify him. Don’t ask for money. You can make money by going out at night.

Yang: Cough! !

Shi: No problem! Come quickly!

Yang: Keep it for yourself and make money. I want it from the bank!

Shi: So stubborn!

Hou: ...(Give Yang another card)

Yang: Is there any money in this? Ah, from the bank!

Hou: Yes, you can have an overdraft of 100,000.

Yang: Where is the overdraft of 100,000? ! I'm in! Keep it for yourself! I want cash!

Hou: Why are you so unreasonable!

Yang: What does it mean to be unreasonable?

Hou: You ask everyone, who comes out with 100,000 yuan in cash in his pocket? Fully fed? !

Yang: I don’t care, you figure it out!

Hou: Let’s do this, let’s not make trouble. Tomorrow, it will still be here, at ten o'clock in the morning, I will bring you one hundred thousand yuan, and let's forget about it, okay?

Yang: Who believes what you say?

Hou: Can’t I swear? I swear: Tomorrow morning, at ten o'clock, I will pay you back one hundred thousand yuan here. If I don't come, God will strike you with thunder!

Yang: Bomb you! ! ! !

Hou: Bomb you! ! ! !

Yang: How do you attack me?

Hou: You made me lose all my money!

Yang: What should we do?

Hou: Boom you.

Yang:...%#◎#￥%Look at how unlucky I am! !

Shi: Approved? Accept it! I yelled for a long time~~

Yang: Okay, okay...

Hou: Right! After you bombard me, my money is gone, and you bombard me to death, you still have a wife and children, can you inherit them all?

Shi: Don’t circle around.

Yang: Okay, then just pay me back.

Hou: Yes, yes, yes.

Yang: You are talking nonsense.

Hou: Is it based on the word Li?

Yang: Write me a note.

Hou: I didn’t bring any pen or paper.

Yang: I’m taking it with me!

Hou: This man is so wicked. Why do you bring everything with you!

Yang: I’m bringing it with me. (Gives Hou a piece of paper) You write!

Hou: No pen.

Yang: Bibibi. (To Hou Bi) Write well.

Hou: ...(looking for a place)

Yang: (pointing backwards) Lie there and write.

Hou: Why should I lie there and write! (Turns Yang around and presses down) Lower it!

~~~~ (Xiang Shi) Can I write him a letter of loyalty to the country?

Shi: OK! This is called father-in-law tattooing.

Yang: (stands up) Mother-in-law tattoos!

Hou: No matter what! (Press Yang) I am a man!

Shi: He is a man.

Hou: What are you doing? It’s done!

Shi: Father-in-law, ah.

Hou: (writing) OK. (Puts the pen into his arms and wants to take it off)

Yang: Wait a moment!

Shi: It’s done after writing.

Yang: Give me the pen!

Shi: Don’t fail this person!

Hou: You still want the broken pen! One hundred thousand yuan is given to you.

Yang: Let me take a look.

"Hou Yaowen borrowed 100,000 yuan from Yang Jinming, and I will pay it back here and now tomorrow."

Hou: I am a person of integrity. If I say 100,000 yuan, it will be 100,000 yuan. Don’t bring anything less. Okay? Have integrity!

Shi: How is it?

Yang: Okay. I thank you. I have an explanation.

Hou: You don’t need to thank me. We deal fairly.

Shi: Is this over?

Yang: That’s it.

Shi: The original, my original.

Yang: Oh, we have no debt. (Give the original to Shi)

Shi: (Tear up the original) It’s all gone. Tear it up. No one owes anyone anything. Don't look for the back account. Gone, gone. See you later.

Yang: (shakes hands with Shi) Thank you!

(Hou Shi steps down)

Yang: Look how wonderful it is! Tear off one piece and replace it with another.

It doesn't matter whether it's true or not. Mr. Renhou is honest and writes so clearly! "Hou Yaowen lent Yang Jinming 100,000 yuan, Ming..." Hou Yaowen lent Yang Jinming... Hou Yaowen lent Yang Jinming 100,000 yuan! ! Who of us owes whom? Hou Yaowen, you liar! ! (Run off the stage)