1. When you are thin and beautiful, have something on your mind, and your wallet is full of your own money, let alone this month, the whole world will be kinder to you.

2. When I was in high school, because it was too hot in the summer, I would put a book under my butt. If the book under my butt felt hot, I would change it to another one, on the back table

The idiot said to me: Do you have eyes on your butt? After reading one book, exchange it for another.

3. Many times I dig a hole for myself and then jump in without hesitation. I dug the hole by myself and jumped by myself. In the end, I am the one who cannot climb out.

4. Falling in a wrong relationship is like wetting the bed, it warms you for a while and cools the quilt.

5. Little Yanzi, dressed in floral clothes, went to see Yongqi. Yongqi asked her why she came, and Yanzi said, Let us be companions in the world of mortals and live a leisurely life, galloping on horseback*** Enjoy the prosperity of the world.

6. On the first day of school, the principal of the kindergarten called the parents to tell them whether their children had watched too many palace dramas. On the first day of roll call, the children directly answered "The slave is here!"

7. When I was in high school, the school was very strict, and hair above the shoulders had to be tied up. After the teacher saw my hairstyle, he sternly ordered me to go back in the evening and cut my hair. It was about 10 o'clock in the evening after evening self-study. I left school and rushed as fast as I could to a barber shop that said hair salon. When I opened the door, there was a pink light and several women in scantily clad clothes looked up and asked. Me: Are you here to apply for a job?

8. Wife: Husband, I’m sick. I’m afraid I have to buy a bag. Husband: Can you tell me how these two are related? Wife: Haven’t you heard of the “cure for all diseases”? Then my husband came in with bricks. Wife: What are you doing? Husband: Cure all kinds of difficult and complicated diseases!

9. I got a new haircut today. When I got home, I asked my wife: Is he handsome? Wife: I'm used to your ugliness, but I didn't expect you to be ugly again. 10. The most glorious moment of Apple was when it hit Newton on the head. Believe that you are the best, and you may be the next one to be hit. 11. There are so many liars these days. It’s true! While riding the subway, a girl came up to me and asked for my phone number. She said that I looked very similar to her ex-boyfriend. Stop lying. With her looks, there was no way she could have been in a relationship with Daniel Wu!

12. Just now, I saw a trendy man wearing shorts of different colors on both sides playing with his mobile phone on the subway seat. When the subway arrived, a mother rushed up to her with her head lowered to grab a seat, shouting "Please, please get out of the way." Take a seat." He spread the trendy man's legs and sat down.

13. Went to eat rice noodles at noon yesterday. There are several types of rice noodles in the store, ordinary ones

4 yuan, and cross-bridge rice noodles 10 yuan. A young couple is chatting. Man: "I just don't understand why Cross-Bridge Rice Noodles are so expensive? It's 6 yuan more expensive than ordinary ones!" Woman: "I don't know, maybe the 10 yuan includes Cross-Bridge Rice Noodles." Spend it!”

14. Double Eleven

After struggling for two hours, I turned off the computer, thinking that I would really have to tighten my belt for the next half of the month. Hey, talking about the belt, then I turned on the computer silently.

15. I am a lonely tree, standing by the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you walk by me, I will fall in love with you. If I can’t smash you, I won’t do it. Live in vain.

16. A man’s life is like a temple escape. No matter how bumpy the road ahead is, for gold coins and to make his woman happy, a man has no choice but to run.

17. The one riding the white horse is not necessarily a prince, but may be Tang Monk; the one with wings is not necessarily an angel, sometimes it is a birdman.

18. A man’s words are like an old lady’s teeth, how much is true.

19. I’ve given you my mobile phone number, why don’t you understand what I’m thinking! If you have anything to do, please give me a few

Ten yuan of phone credit.

20. The last essay question in today’s exam was really hearty and eloquent. I just hope that the teacher will not give me a zero score for the entire paper after reading it.