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Yu Xiuhua, say no to a tragic marriage.
In The Reader, Dong Qing asked Yu Xiuhua: If God could exchange you, "I would like to exchange my talents and poems for a normal body", would you?

Yu Xiuhua (with a shy smile): I don't think so. I think the streets are full of beautiful faces, but are there beautiful souls behind these faces?

That was the first time I met her. She is witty in front of the camera, even surpassing many so-called normal people. Her answer is humorous and full of self-mockery.

Although she is confident in her talent, she still feels that her figure is not as good as that of others.

She is afraid that others will see her eating, and that she will accidentally drop the food on the ground. She is afraid of being embarrassed and even more afraid of being teased, including her husband.

In her essay "The Story of Autumn", she wrote: After marriage, I walk alone at night, and no matter how careful I am, I can't avoid falling. When I come home, he will laugh at me ... His life is really mediocre, so mediocre that I need to make fun of my wife.

In fact, he didn't know that at that time, she had cancelled her "wife status."

She dared to say "no" to fate, just like when the teacher said she was Zhang Haidi in primary school, and she jumped up at once: I am Yu Xiuhua, I am not Zhang Haidi. Even after she became famous, many people said that she was Emily Dickinson of China, but she didn't agree. In "To Live, Refuse to Boast", she said: No matter how unbearable our bodies and lives are, we are unique in the world.

She got married at the age of 19 (1995), began to write poetry at the age of 22, and was published in Poetry magazine in 20 14. It was actually a long process. In the same year, she published her first collection of poems, Shocking the World, and the famous poem, Sleeping with You Across Half of China, was among them.

Some people judge her as a slut just by the word "sleep", and some people deny her as a whole after reading the poem roughly. Of course, "different people have different opinions", no matter how perfect a person is, it is impossible for everyone to like it, let alone a woman who openly says that she wants to "sleep with you".

In her essay "Sleeping with you is different from being slept with you", she has an explanation: Sleeping with you is my initiative, and I have the initiative in love and physiology.

"Sleeping with you" is not really sleeping, but a desire to make up for the lack.

In 20 15, Yu Xiuhua finally exchanged his talents (poems) for a lot of money, bought him a house, divorced and ended his 20-year marriage.

Although she still wrote "I love you" in many poems after the divorce, she said: I love you, I love you so much ... Your lamp can't reflect my shadow. ...

I love her words: I couldn't use them many years ago when I got married, but now I have to use them in the toilet.

I wonder how she came up with the idea of using the toilet to describe her marriage.

She wrote in For You: "After meeting you, you kept loving others, one after another. I have no right to be jealous, so I have to run away again and again ..."

There is no doubt that this marriage has given her real pain.

I remember that at a book club, everyone read her For You, and a friend said, I can't read this poem well, because everything I meet in my life is beautiful and I can't feel that kind of sadness.

Fortunately, however, she finally came out. Compared with many women who are still struggling in marriage and have a good face, she left the man who loves neither body nor soul by her own ability.

However, some people say that she divorced when she became famous. In fact, they didn't know that she didn't have much hope for her life at that time. If she has to say one wish or ideal, it is divorce.

For some men, divorce is nothing more than getting rid of an old dress, but for women, it is getting rid of a system and a shackle.

From then on, she lived a life without quarrels and suspicions, and no longer had to worry about "two people, one said the wild flowers were beautiful and the other said you were romantic".

Of course, this is also reflected from the side. Women should not only be independent in thought, but also economically, so as to choose the life they want. Although life after divorce is impossible to reach the ideal state, it will not be worse than before.

Her proactive attitude is admirable.

Singer Li Jian said that she wrote poems in the clouds and lived in the mud.

Indeed, God did not give her a sound body, but gave her a deeper understanding of life. Compared with some obscure poems, her poems have more open and direct power. According to statistics, the word "love" appears frequently in her poems. She wrote something that many of us dare not write. Of course, others may not write such poems, otherwise they will all be Yu Xiuhua.

I have heard a saying that you like a person because she has the qualities you like. Therefore, when I learned that she came to Zhuzhou on July 1, I told myself without hesitation: I must go to see her, even in the scorching sun, even in the stormy weather, I must catch all her works, then wait in line like a naive child, waiting for her autograph, and then read her story at home.

Yu Xiuhua said: I don't know what agreement I have with fate. The only thing I can do is let nature take its course.

Qi Yue Dream Community Chapter 13

Women have many things to do besides love.