Second, there is a kind of fool in the world, you know? What? When they are most sad, they are comforting others.
Third, never lie to people you trust; Never trust those who lie to you.
You talk about me behind my back because you can't have what I have, right?
Fifth, I am most afraid of losing contact with old friends, but old friends have changed their tune.
6. Some memories are bland, but they are worth a thousand words. Crying doesn't mean being weak, but being strong for too long.
7. The more people you like, the less you know how to speak. It is the princess who needs the prince to save, and the queen who saves the world herself.
Eight, the present life is not what I want, I asked for it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but beauty is an idiot!
9. May the person I miss be safe all the year round, even if I don't meet each other.
As long as you are ugly, you will lose 95% of your life. This is reality. Why do people make the same mistake There may be only one reason: the former one doesn't hurt enough.
Eleven, young only once, don't be crazy, how to tell your son when you are old. Take fewer detours and you will miss the scenery. Anyway, thank you for your experience.
Twelve, the person you like is so excellent, how can you be lazy?
Thirteen. Who travels around the world without a box of masks these days? I suddenly found my first letter that I loved you. It was fun to add up.
14. I am not April. I just can't find my way home.
15. If there is an unrecognizable road in front of me and you insist on going, I hope the way I love you is not to hold you and tell you not to go, but to prepare the most durable shoes and umbrellas for you, to tell you that the second intersection is slippery and there are thieves on the fifth street, to tell you that you can go and go home for dinner.
16. Have I changed or have you heard too much gossip?
Seventeen, like me, not selling masks and snacks in the space does not mean that there are not many people who do not show love.
18. How can you make your deskmate be dead set on meeting the teacher for you by playing with your mobile phone in class? Play with your deskmate's mobile phone!
Nineteen, how can people be called people if they are not tired?
20. Maturity means that you are more and more receptive to reality, not more and more realistic. The silence on the phone is not procrastination but reluctance.
I haven't forgotten anything, but there are some things that are suitable to stay in my heart.
Twenty-two, many years ago, I had a mobile phone like this, which could only store 200 short messages, full of memories. Whenever it is full, I have to carefully delete mine and keep hers. I really wanted a mobile phone that could store 500 short messages. Now, I have a mobile phone that can store messages indefinitely, but I can't find anyone who can chat with me for 200 messages.
Dear girl, no matter what you have experienced, try to make yourself like a cup of boiled water, precipitate and clear.
Twenty-four, like eating half an apple and drinking half a cup of drink, time has passed for a long time, losing its original taste, and now I just want to throw away what I like.
Twenty-five, someone, a word. Some scenes, a song. It can always tear your emotions easily.
Twenty-six, the sign of a person's maturity is to learn to be cruel, learn to be independent, learn to smile, and learn to discard unworthy feelings!
Twenty-seven, crazy people who often chat on QQ generally don't talk much when they meet, while people who are crazy together in life basically don't chat on QQ.
Twenty-eight, the class is crazy about the image because there is no one I like in the class.
Twenty-nine, it is said that there is a relationship in the dormitory called: clearly see through someone's face, but can not easily turn their faces; I once hated a province because of a roommate!
Thirty, once madly chasing, now desperate to retreat. More than 90% girls use silence to express their pain. When a girl chooses to ignore you, you should know that you really hurt her.
The unhappiest people in this world are those who know that Dachuan thinks too much.
Listen to songs when you are happy, and listen to words when you are sad.
Unless you feed yourself a lump of shit in the morning, you can't guarantee that you won't encounter more disgusting things all day.
Sometimes we don't know whether we are listening to music or ourselves. As soon as I emphasize keeping a low profile, you will clap and scream for me.
35. We found that when a man quarrels with his girlfriend, gay friends generally says forget it. I'm glad your boy found it. That's very kind of you. When a woman quarrels with her boyfriend, her girlfriends usually say forget it and find another one after breaking up. I really don't know what is good about him.
No matter how vicissitudes my back is, I will smile beautifully one day.
Qq Personality Signature Humor
Qq Personality Signature Humor
1. If God gives me a genius brain, I will definitely open up a world.
Since you are shameless, why do you still have it on you?
3. I love you and always follow the law of infinite non-circulation.
Give me back my love to you intact, and I will leave.
5. Have you seen my cleverness? Hey, you are such a fool.
6. What can I do to make your beloved girl not want a ticket?
7. Take a little courage and fight the muddy world to the end.
8. I never believe that we can still be friends after breaking up.
I am really sorry to let you know what kind of person I am.
10, I threw away everything from you, so I turned around smartly.
1 1, you said you loved me, which is ridiculous.
12, don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.
13, please get out of my world, I decided to love myself.
14, if you can't beat and scold, this is fucking love.
15. Looking at your face, I feel sick.
16, in my world, you are a supporting role.
17, don't pretend to be hypocritical in front of me. I hate liars.
18, if God promises to give me another second, then I will love you.
19, as long as we have a strong heart, then everything is not a problem.
20. If there is love in the sky, people will be old and their girlfriends will die long ago.
2 1, time takes away our lives, so we slowly die.
22. Everyone can do two, but please pay attention to the number of times you do two.
23. Men take away your hypocrisy. Who still believes in love these days?
24. There is no need to say anything. Now that you have left, you won't look back.
It's not that you abandoned me, but that I abandoned you.
26. To what extent must a person be shameless to be like you?
27. A woman should be strong, and you can still live well without him.
28. I didn't know until I broke up that you didn't deserve my love.
29. Those who always want to win will lose, and those who are not afraid of losing will win.
30. Put away your mask and get out of my world.
3 1, your attitude now determines whether you will be a figure or a waste in ten years.
Spirited Away's story tells us: Don't eat too much, you will become a pig.
The simplest happiness is to do what you like.
34. I always have short hair. Is it because I have long hair and short knowledge? So I'm usually well informed
35. The efficiency of class is directly proportional to the number of times I play games.
36. Look at my miserable life with the most ordinary eyes.
Cinderella has no glass shoes, so I can't be a princess.
38. You have a great figure. The Monkey King will give you three sticks when he sees it.
39. Now I know that school is not easy to learn, and now I can still study.
40. I didn't intend to go back alive when I came into this world, but I will let you go first.
4 1, you fat bitch, always shifting my relationship with food.
42. If you think you are beautiful, you think too much.
43. Everything will come naturally in the end, but unfortunately Toyota can't stop it.
44. You are brothers who grew up with a pair of pants. Can you lend me one?
45. The teacher said not to bring anything unrelated to the exam. Should I bring myself?
46. The ancients said that men and women don't give and receive, please stay away from me.
47. If you don't leave, I will die.
48. I fell in love with you, but the alarm clock became our third party.
49. Once upon a time, a man spoke ill of me behind my back and later died.
When I passed you, my clothes were scratched and I didn't see any sparks.
Qq Personality Signature Humor
1, contraceptive effect: unsuccessful, adult. Actually, I am not fat, but I am too lazy to be thin.
It's time to buy a plane ticket to heaven and have a good talk with Yue Lao.
Don't smile at your sister, she will fall off when she smiles.
These days, women are more and more masculine, men are more and more sissy, children are more and more mature, and adults are beginning to pretend to be pure.
6. Be your enemy's wife in your next life and spend all his money to get back at him.
7. I suddenly miss my date, and I don't know if he has eaten, is he busy, how old he is, and what his name is.
8. I want stable grades, I can resist the cruelty of exams, and I can have a home among piles of schoolmasters.
I won't cry for you. My mascara is too expensive.
10, don't tear your smile, if you tear it, there will be no dimples.
1 1. It's hard to love someone, but it's easy to give up someone.
12, my heart is broken and it looks like dumpling stuffing.
Don't use honey traps on me, or I'll play along.
14, I would have thrown you out if the teacher hadn't said you couldn't throw garbage.
15, give me an atomic bomb, and I will send a mushroom cloud to Japan.
16, after a long time, you may have no feelings, but you will definitely have children.
17, some classes are like Fu Nan battery, one class is better than one monitor.
18, you have the nerve to lie to me. I have the courage to believe it.
19, grades, you bitch, always alienating me from my parents.
Money is nothing in my hands, just like garbage, but I bought the humblest love with it.
You are my favorite, but I never drink tea.
22, marry a chicken with a chicken; Marry a dog and follow the dog; Marry a monkey and run all over the mountain; Marry me and treat you to roast goose!
23. A man who is more diligent in changing women than changing sanitary napkins will have your dysmenorrhea sooner or later.
24, love does not hurt people, people hurt themselves. Love doesn't do evil, but people do evil. If you don't play tricks on people, your brain is funny
25. The only thing I can afford now is chopsticks.
I don't want to be against you. I want to attend later.
27. Fahai should not use this tower to contain Mrs White Snake, but he should contain Gong Linna.
28. Being speechless means that the judge asks: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.
29. Don't always talk about my face. Beauty is not outstanding, ugliness is not novel.
30, men, the upper body is self-cultivation, the lower body is the essence; Women, the upper body is the bait, and the lower body is the trap.
3 1. If God gives me another chance to be born again, I must choose the Tang Dynasty, so I don't have to learn English or lose weight.
32. A woman who can only cry is a waste, and a woman who can't cry is a monster.
After my death, please install a wireless router on my grave. Thank you.
34. This person is unlucky. Sneezing can scare him, and taking off his sweater can electrocute him.
35. Your face reminds me of a word, arbitrary.
36. The more people like you, the more naive they are to you.
37. The National Day passed so fast, just like a tornado, it was too late to do my homework.
38. It is your responsibility to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!
39. You asked me how much I love you. Money can represent my heart.
Life is like a pressure cooker. I know myself well when I'm under too much pressure.
4 1, the human stomach is called stomach, and my stomach is called stomach plus.
42. We agreed not to part, but to stay together all the time.
43. I love that boy so much. He has strong shoulders and only allows me to rely on them.
44. I have fixed the wedding date, and now I just need to fix the groom.
45. My boyfriend just needs to treat me as the only one.
46. The best wishes are not written on greeting cards, but in the remarks column of transfer.
47. Superman always flies in briefs because triangles are very stable.
48. Tell me ten sentences without dirty words, which only shows that you are not familiar with me.
49. Women who are obsessed with their old feelings are the most guilty, and men who are obsessed with their old feelings are the most disgusting.
50. There is no cold person in the world, but it is not you who is warm.
5 1, the most painful thing in the world, a good spring dream was awakened by urine.
52. A day is actually very short. As soon as the computer is turned on and off, it will pass.
53. The monthly exam is not to show off to teachers in all subjects. They really think they teach well.
54. Were you vomited three times after you were born, but only caught twice?
If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.
56. My predecessor got married again today. I wish him today every year and today every year.
57. If your high school classmate was sitting in a KTV and you happened to meet her, would you? I will point her out.
58. I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without a seasoning bag.
59. Some girls want to commit crimes behind their backs; Looking at the side, I want to shrink back; Look ahead and want to defend yourself.
60. Have fun when you should play, and sleep well when you should study. Are you the same?
6 1, acne is nothing, that's your lovely bubble.
If you choose to run counter to me, please don't look back.
Underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but important.
64.who do you think you are? You are the spilled water. I don't even want a basin.
65. Happiness is to look at your watch when you wake up every morning, but you can sleep for another half an hour.
Everything is not normal this year, except football in China.
67. A faint glance is your earnest commitment, and a quiet moment is my life. I don't want to leave you.
68. Remember the black rice brother who refused to go out on a mission by Daming Lake?
69. The so-called successful woman is: B is awesome during the day and B is awesome at night.
70. If you value his money, it will become yours in due course. Strike while the iron is hot, and love to ask for money!
7 1, everyone says I'm ugly, but I'm just plain and beautiful.
On the first day of school, there will always be a group of people dressed as blind date.
73. I hope someone will hold my hand, whether it is dull or vigorous, and we will walk together.
74. I didn't buy jasmine honey tea, so I didn't have a good chance.
75. Come here. There are three words hidden in my heart for a long time. Can you get out!
76. Choose the person who can make you happy for the rest of your life, not the one you have to try to please.
Secret love is a courtesy, narcissism is a pride, love is a style and love is a taste.
It doesn't matter if your head is empty. The key is not to get into the water.
79. After class, the teacher said, What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?
80. Actually, I am a genius, but unfortunately I am jealous of talents!
8 1, I don't like sleeping with only one woman many times, but I like sleeping with many women only once.
82. Weigh yourself every time. When you are light, say to yourself: thin. When you are heavy, say to yourself: your chest is big.
83. It is said that strong melons are not sweet, and my brother likes to eat bitter gourd.
84. A good friend is probably that you are crazy. I don't want to go crazy with you, but I will give you medicine regularly.
85. I saw a beautiful woman in the street today. A closer look turned out to be a mirror.
86. Those fireworks-like encounters were only temporary prosperity. Perhaps, some things have been doomed.
87. Flowers bloom not for anyone, but also for themselves. The world does not exist for anyone, nor does it exist for itself.
88. I changed her from a girl to a woman; She turned me from a boy into a poor man.
89. I struggled with fat and almost didn't sacrifice.
90. What is a class teacher? It is a person who has destroyed your friendship, your love and your affection.
9 1, I remember that a few years ago, singles were said to be nobles, but in recent years, they have become dogs.
92. How many generations does it take to climb from this world to that one?
93. Earning money is an ability, and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.
94. I like you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I want to leave, even longer than a long time.
95. If you feel sick and retching when brushing your teeth, don't brush your teeth in front of the mirror.
96. I hope to talk about a seven-year love, hold hands for 50 years, and proudly tell our love to future generations.
97. I wonder if you would like to be my favorite person.
98, Lao tze came to this world, it is impossible to go back alive.
99. My dream: I have something to do as a secretary and nothing to do as a secretary. The reality is that the secretary can't do it, and the secretary can't do anything.
100, headmaster, this air conditioner, if you are safe, it will be sunny; If it is not safe, be careful when you go out at night!
Qq Humorous Personality Signature
First, it is said that there is a friend whose husband's surname is Zhou and her surname is Xia. Husband and wife are discussing the name of the future baby. The wife first thought of a name called "Monday". After listening, my husband said that the name is good and continuous, and he can give birth to seven children in one breath, from "Monday" to "Monday". Then the wife asked what to do if she gave birth to the eighth child. My husband said that the eighth one is called "Summer Monday" (next Monday).
Second, some people envy other people's love, just as they envy other people's clothes, and they can't wait to buy an identical one. Please don't think so. You don't know what that seemingly beautiful dress tastes like. Maybe she choked, maybe she was hungry for five years before she put on that dress, or maybe the fabric made her itchy and rash all over. You're not the one wearing it. You don't know.
A newly divorced man told his friend the reason why he didn't remarry: "I have a dog, a cat and a myna now, which is enough." "But how can you replace your wife?" The friend asked. The man replied, "Absolutely! My dog growls all day, myna curses all day, and my cat can stay at home all night! "
Four or three people brag about whose wife is the thinnest. A Dai: "My wife's scarf can be worn as clothes." Agua refused to accept: "My wife can fall into the sewer if she takes a shower carelessly." Hua said calmly, "My wife swallowed an almond and everyone thought she was pregnant."
5. Appreciation of the most incisive myth of this year: mistress goes back to her family ... no public office! A group of eunuchs had a meeting, but no chickens talked about it; A woman divorced many times and abandoned it before; Men streaking … fooling around; Women streaking ... groundless; Children streaking ... There's plenty of time; The old man streaked … immortal; Family planning in China (a health care product); The difference between men and women is less than that of the upper class and more than that of the lower class.
6. On the day of my wedding reception, I will make a table for my husband's ex-girlfriend and then propose a toast one by one. Thank you for spending the most beautiful years with his most empty childhood. Now that he has grown up, he finally knows the difference between good and bad and what kind of woman he needs.
Seven, the official said: I am honest; The star said: I am innocent; Urban management said: I am kind; The rich man said: I pay taxes; Xiaosan said: I am self-reliant; The director said: I'm serious; The teacher said: I am noble; The policeman said: I am fair; Mobile said: I am honest; The bank said: I am disciplined; PetroChina said: I lost money; The hospital said: I treat diseases; The court said: I am fair; The people said: it's all nonsense.
I went home yesterday, a girl from Lu Yu. Seeing that boy on the road, I chased him and shouted, "Please marry me!" " I watched, and suddenly a young woman rushed out and took the girl away, saying, "Even if you get married, you still have to go to school."
9. Once I went to the dormitory roommate to take a shower, I changed the girlfriend number stored in his mobile phone to mine, and I texted him in bed at night, "Husband, I'm pregnant." I saw that guy suddenly turn over and get out of bed. Badabada smoked a box of cigarettes and asked the dormitory people to borrow money …
10. A man goes to work the next day after marriage and is unhappy at work. A friend asked him why, and the man said, I used to go whoring. After I finished with my daughter-in-law last night, I threw it to her 100. The friend is relieved: it's nothing if you give her money! The man is annoyed: the problem is that she found me 20-conveniently.
Eleven, some people sell wisdom, some people sell time, some people sell labor, some people sell relationships, some people sell the body, some people sell morality. If you want to make a little money, you must sell some of your own things, so "making more money" and "live high" are diametrically opposed. Being partial to either extreme will make your life very troublesome. The most comfortable life is to find balance.
I'm going to cry. I'm going to make trouble. I stayed up all night and hanged myself with a bottle of sleeping pills and a small rope. No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love.
Thirteen, my wife cooks badly, but she likes it very much. One day I couldn't stand it anymore and asked, "Why do you like cooking so much?" The wife said, "People say that if you want to get a person, you have to get that person's stomach." I said, "Then why do you cook so badly?" Hearing this, my wife angrily struck the table: "I'd rather destroy what I can't get!" " "
Fourteen, junior high school English is not good, the teacher changed my female deskmate with good English. One day in self-study class, I had a little impression on the word "husband", but it was not exact. I used this word to ask my deskmate, "Wife?" "No, honey." I always thought it was my wife, so I hooked up with her: "wife!" " She is not to be outdone: "Husband!" "wife!" "Husband! "The louder the voice. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found the classroom suddenly quiet …
Fifteen, these days, it's all sex! Men are worried about private houses, women are worried about breasts, and they are always worried. College students are worried about opening a house, renting a house to work, being hospitalized in a ward, giving birth in a delivery room, getting married in a new house, housing for ordinary people, box office for producers, second rooms for rich people and bad rooms.
At the age of sixteen, Dan accompanied his mother to go fishing by the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote a diary: "Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are so happy. " The mother thought her daughter's writing was too simple and said angrily, "Write more!" " "Dandan bowed his head and thought about it, and changed his diary to:" Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 pounds. "
Seventeen, sometimes I really want to go to the fucking house and car, to the fucking three insurances and one gold, to the fucking marriage and children, to the fucking work and entertainment, and to the fucking residence permit. Love where you are, love who you are, go out, walk a long way, meet many people and pay a lot of love. Finally Gabrielle died in a foreign land, and the tombstone read: This guy went to another world to continue to be awesome …
Dan accompanied his mother to go fishing by the lake. After returning home, Dandan quickly wrote a diary: "Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake. We caught a big fish weighing 2 pounds. We are so happy. " The mother thought her daughter's writing was too simple and said angrily, "Write more!" " "Dandan bowed his head and thought about it, and changed his diary to:" Today, my mother and I went fishing by the lake, and we caught a big fish weighing 5 pounds. "
19. Happiness is more like a cramp. Speaking of which, it's fascinating. They said it and left. So simply, they don't drag their feet at all, and they can't even shed tears; Pain is more like a dog skin plaster, so close to it, covered with clothes, maybe others can't see it, but now it is close to it all the time, and you can feel it every second. It is not that happiness is too short, but that we are too sensitive to pain.
After graduation, some people are disappointed, some people are lovelorn and some people are missing. Some people get rich, some get fat, and some send invitations. These things will happen one after another, and the tacit life track will come to an end and start a completely different life. I don't want to get together another day, but I hope we don't forget our original faces. After all, we both broke into each other's lives.
I stayed in a hotel yesterday. A bottle of Nongfu Spring mineral water spent in the hotel room 18 yuan. I bought two bottles outside and spent four yuan to change two bottles of civets for the prince in the hotel. I didn't get caught on patrol. This is called economic mind, and the difference of 9 times is instantly available. I'm drinking a bottle of Nongfu Spring from 18 yuan, which is awesome!
Speaking of your appearance, I don't want to discourage you. Go to the zoo to see if there is a job suitable for you. If you run around the street like this, it's easy for the police to shoot you. I think a person's appearance should have two extremes, one is extremely beautiful, and the other is like you! 3. The dragon is both euphemistic and thrilling. 4. It's good to know you. You don't have to go to the zoo!
I am who I am. If I can't stand it, don't enter my world. I am not gentle, I have a bad temper, I am easily angry, I am easily jealous, I am easily heartbroken, I am easily paranoid, I am willful, I don't want to talk when I am angry, I will always giggle when I am happy, I will hide my grievances in my heart, I care and I want to be known by you, I like listening to sad songs when I am sad, and I like to share them with people I care about when I am happy.
Twenty-four, junior high school English is not good, the teacher changed my female deskmate with good English. One day in self-study class, I had a little impression on the word "husband", but it was not exact. I used this word to ask my deskmate, "Wife?" "No, honey." I always thought it was my wife, so I hooked up with her: "wife!" " She is not to be outdone: "Husband!" "wife!" "Husband! "The louder the voice. After shouting for 2 minutes, I found the classroom suddenly quiet …
Twenty-five, "In the dead of night, the curtains grumble:" I bask in the sun every day, quilt brother, you are so happy, and I sleep with my hostess every day. " "Quilt:" "Happiness? Do you know how long it takes to fart? ”""
Twenty-six, just called me 10086 to understand the business, so I got bored and took it. Q: Sir, I see that your mobile phone bill has fluctuated greatly recently. Is it because of the long business trip in different places or is there another number in use? I replied: I was dumped ... customer service MM couldn't help laughing.