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Unconsciously, people born in 1990 are already 30 years old. When we are still immersed in the concept that those born in the 1980s are no longer young, they born in the 1990s I also started to worry about my marriage.
No, to be precise, parents should be starting to worry.
Some time ago, I saw my cousin suddenly changed his WeChat image, and it was that of a couple. My first reaction was that he was dating a girlfriend. I was so excited when I thought about this possibility.
My cousin was born in 1993 and is 27 years old. At his age, most people in our hometown have already started families, and some of them have even become parents.
But my cousin has been working in other places after graduation and rarely returns to his hometown throughout the year. As for his relationship problems, every time his aunt asked about it, he always said that he was looking for her.
Seeing that his relatives at home, boys who are younger than his cousin, are all married, or have girlfriends, he doesn't feel anything when he is not at home, but his parents are very worried.
The aunt began to ask people to introduce her son to people, but the cousin didn't want to meet anyone. He was so anxious that he would not go home or answer the phone. This made my aunt anxious.
Later, my aunt said she was going to find her cousin where he worked to see why he didn’t find a girlfriend? After reading it, I realized that my cousin was not too busy to have time to look for it. Regarding this point, my cousin did not find a suitable explanation.
In this way, his parents were busy at home, and he worked normally. It seemed that he was not affected by his parents' urging for marriage at all, but he had much less time to go home. In fact, he was deliberately avoiding his parents' urging for marriage. thing.
I always thought that my cousin was dismissive of his parents' urging for marriage. You can urge me as much as you want, but you can't do anything to me if I don't go home.
So, when I saw his couple profile picture, I was very curious and immediately sent a message asking him if he already had a girlfriend?
He said: "No, my mother kept urging me and looked through my circle of friends every day. I really didn't meet the right one. In order to reassure my mother, I took a few photos with my female colleagues. I posted it to Moments and changed the image to that of a couple, so that my mother would think that I had a girlfriend, so that she would not have to worry about introducing a partner to me.”
The phenomenon of being urged to get married. This is a problem faced by many young people today.
0202
A female author I know is 25 years old. She said that she no longer dares to call her parents. Every time the issue of marriage comes up on the phone, She was on the verge of going crazy.
She works alone in other places. She is already tired after a day's work and has to use her spare time to write. But as long as she calls her family and doesn't talk about anything else, she will definitely focus on the topic of marriage. At the end.
She said she could tolerate this and her parents also cared about her. But the only thing she couldn't bear was that every time she went back to her hometown, her family would try to sell her to other people whenever they had the chance. Whenever someone came to visit her, her mother would definitely try her best to get them to ask if there was any young man of the right age?
She said: "I feel that within a radius of dozens of miles, I will be rumored to be an old girl who can't get married."
I didn't feel that my parents had much importance before I started working. Care about yourself. After you get a job, you will never ask whether you are happy at work, how your income is, what time you will work overtime, whether it is safe to go back alone, etc. Whenever you get the opportunity, you will keep urging her to get married.
Therefore, she cannot understand her family's behavior in this regard.
In today's society, marriage sometimes feels like a responsibility that is kidnapped by morality.
Parents always feel that their children’s marriage is their responsibility and obligation. For most parents, they must watch their children get married and have children before they feel that their lives are complete.
Children who are unmarried or infertile are like a bolt from the blue to their parents, leaving their lives incomplete and broken, and they may even "die with their eyes open".
In the TV series "Happiness Within Reach", the scene where Zhou Fang is urged to get married by his mother is very similar to those young men and women who are urged to get married by their parents in real life.
My mother showed her a bunch of photos and took her to the sorority. Later, when she saw that this path was not feasible, she started to match her up with her senior brother. It seems that most people cannot escape the process of being forced to get married by their parents.
But I always believe that all parents, no matter how much they push their children, their intentions are definitely good.
I was once forced to get married and went on a blind date. To be honest, I was a little scared when faced with the pressure from my family to get married. It wasn’t that I was really afraid that I would end up alone if I couldn’t get married.
I think I am more afraid because I am worried that if I really can’t get married, I will break the hearts of my family and make them unable to hold their heads high as a person, or they will be embarrassed to face their ancestors.
0303
This is because we have been kidnapped by filial piety. Marriage may not be because of true love, but because we are eager to fulfill our parents' life responsibilities.
The negative impact that urging marriage had on me was that I was afraid of facing my family and didn’t even want to communicate with them. Because it is completely meaningless to explain and communicate with them. After all, we have different values ??and world views, which is an insurmountable gap.
Faced with the pressing attacks of filial piety and morality, I cannot express the pressure in my heart, because I know that once my true thoughts are spoken, it will be a knife stabbing into the heart of my loved ones. All of this is kept in the heart without an outlet, which will make people fall into endless thinking.
Actually, I think it’s not that children don’t want to get married, they just don’t want to get married casually. But the pressure from our family to get married undoubtedly pushed us to the track where we can get married casually.
It is better to tie casually than not to tie at all. Yes, their lives may be complete after they get married, but how can the lives of their children be complete? Is a marriage certificate the ticket to happiness?
No, I don’t think so. The feeling of being urged to get married may be different for everyone, but for most people, it is quite heavy. They always feel that by not getting married, not only are they unfilial and indebted to their family, but they also feel that they are too bad to even have a partner. None can be found.
Maybe when we were at that stage, we couldn’t understand why our parents were so exaggerated, always urging us to get married, and forcing us to go on blind dates. When one day we become parents, we will understand their A lot of painstaking work.
In this world, parents are probably the only ones who care about how well their children are doing, and whether you will be happy in the future.
Why do parents urge us to get married after we get a job? It’s because our parents know that when we get a job, we will be far away from them, and they will not be around to take care of their children all the time.
They seem to be forcing you to get married, but in fact, they want someone to be by your side, to love and care for you on their behalf.
Many people will feel disgusted if they go on a blind date before marriage or are urged to get married by their parents. However, once they actually get married, they will gradually understand that our parents really do it for our own good. Even though they used the wrong method, it was because of love.