Being sexually assaulted by her senior colleague Noriyuki Yamaguchi, Shiori Ito, a journalist, suffered tremendous mental pressure, but she still got to the core of the problem and fired the first shot of #METOO in Japan. She conveyed to the public: *** Under the oppression of power, victims have to face the cruel truth of inadequate legal and social systems.

"I want to forget everything. I want to get rid of the pain and feelings that remain in my body. I want to take off my body."

Wake up from the severe pain

The severe pain brought me back to consciousness. In a room with thin curtains drawn, I was pressed against the bed by something heavy. Even though my mind was in a fog, I didn't have the depressing feeling of depression that can come with a hangover. A tearing pain came from my lower abdomen, and coupled with the scene before my eyes, I understood the situation I was in.

I don’t even want to think about what I realized at that time.

The moment I just opened my eyes, I had no memory and could not judge my situation.

It’s unbelievable, I can’t tolerate the other person doing such a thing.

The bedside lamp and the light control panel next to the TV illuminated almost the entire room except for the area near the window. Maybe the entrance light is on too. The laptop was placed unnaturally on a shelf, the power turned on, the screen glowing brightly. That shelf was not used as an office space, and it did not hold a chair. From the way the screen was facing, I was intuitively aware that I was being filmed.

"It hurts, it hurts!"

Even though he knew I had regained consciousness and heard my wailing, he remained indifferent. Why did things become like this? Even though my thoughts were in turmoil, I clearly felt that all I wanted to do was get out of here. I can't do it without escaping.

"Will it hurt?" I kept screaming in pain, and Yamaguchi stopped. However, he had no intention of getting up. Even if I tried to move my body, I couldn't move at all while being suppressed. I tried desperately to push him away, but in the end I was too weak.

When I said "I want to go to the toilet," Yamaguchi finally got up.

I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door, panic making my head a mess. There is a big mirror in the clean bathroom, and I see *** in the mirror. Some parts of the body were red, and some were bleeding. Men's toiletries such as razors were arranged too neatly on a small white towel spread out. I realized that this was the hotel where Yamaguchi stayed.

The moment I thought I was going to be killed

Anyway, I had to leave the room. I'm ready to wake up. As soon as I opened the door, Yamaguchi was already standing there, grabbing my shoulders and dragging me back to the bed again.

When I closed my legs tightly and bent my body, Yamaguchi moved his face closer for a kiss. I turned my face away in despair, and because of this my face was pressed tightly against the bed. With my head and body suppressed, I gradually couldn't breathe. At the moment when I was about to suffocate, I thought I was going to be killed.

My parents would be very sad if I were discovered naked. In the chaos, I pictured my mother’s crying face and myself being reported on the morning news. I definitely don't want that to happen.

I curled up into a ball, clamped my legs and continued to resist. When Yamaguchi's hand stopped pressing my head, I was finally able to breathe again.

"It hurts. Please stop."

"Will it hurt?" Yamaguchi said something like this while grabbing my knees tightly and trying to open my legs. Severe pain came from the knee joint. It went on like this for several minutes. I tensed up my whole body and tried my best to resist.

Yamaguchi finally stopped. I was lying on the bed with my body on my back, dying, and thinking about the words to curse. Even though I said "please stop" so many times, it was too insignificant.