2. A friend came to my house and saw that my goldfish was well kept. He asked me the secret. After all, he is my good friend, so I told him my six-word secret of raising fish: change more water and change fish frequently!
3. "Husband, I want to buy clothes when the season has changed." "Are you obedient?" "Not obedient!" "If you don't listen, don't buy it!" "Then I am obedient!" "Lovely, obedient! Don't buy. "
4. The present life makes you feel very painful. Stick to it, and slowly you will find that the present is nothing compared with the future pain.
I can't do two things, this and that.
6. When a boy tells you that you are my little apple, don't think that he likes you, or that he may want to peel you.
7. Please don't call me an otaku, please tell me to close the house; Please don't call me a house girl, please call me Madame Curie.
In the past, as long as the feelings were true, age was not a problem. Now as long as the feelings are true, gender is not a problem.
9. If you don't give your health a penny, the hospital will help you pull it out.
10. If you want to fall, I will look good and give my life to the ugly. I'll show you what a thousand cups are not drunk.
1 1. The highest level of boredom is: turn on the computer, press the phone and watch TV.
12. Although I can't spend nine days fishing for the moon for you, I can accompany you to fish for fat cows, fish balls, prawns, and ... all for you!
13. In front of the counter of Lamian Noodles Store, a beautiful girl is waiting in line. When she arrived, Master Lamian Noodles asked, Do you want a thick one or a thin one? Girl: I'll eat whatever you pull.
14. A woman's life: when she was a child, she was naughty, grew up in Taobao, worked for gold, married rice, and was eliminated when she was old. Women, act quickly while you are still young.
15. You add me, don't chat with me, don't praise me, don't hook up with me. Are you looking for opportunities to plot against me?
16. Don't be lonely and miserable because of life's failure. Look at the friends around you. Isn't it because they are all the same that we get together?
17. Every time I come home from a party, I feel deeply lost and unfulfilled!
18. The pain of myopia: 10 meter away is hermaphrodite, 20 meters away is zoonotic, and 30 meters away is disowned by six parents.
19. God gave me a broad face just to enlarge my beauty.
20. When you are completely full, ordinary young people will complain with an empty face, "I'm exhausted", and eating will be easy, "I'll take a break".
2 1. A girl broke up with her boyfriend. Next to her, her classmates comforted her: "What's so good about that man? He is a civil engineer. You can tell that he is "rustic" and "dull!" Hearing this, the male student of software engineering next to him felt cold all over.
22. I have a heart for knowledge, but I have a failed life; I have a heart to lose weight, but I live a life of eating goods.
23. Teacher: Who can describe the married life of modern men in one sentence? Xiaoming: Married an ancestor and gave birth to a father! Teacher: Don't say anything, clap your hands!
24. I drank a cup of espresso at Starbucks in the evening, and now I can't sleep. Old and expensive, it hurts to think about it.
25. I went to my mother's room to play one day and came across a diary about my birth. I opened it and saw eight words written on it, "extremely ugly and unacceptable."
26. After several decades, we will meet again, send them to the crematorium, burn them all to ashes, one for you, one for me, and send them all to the countryside to be used as fertilizer.
27. "Do you like my angel face or the devil's figure?" "I just like your sense of humor."
28. I was on the road with my wife at night and found 5 yuan on the road. My wife said that the money I picked up must be spent, otherwise it would bring bad luck. I'm dubious. As a result, she dragged me into the supermarket and bought more than 200 snacks.
29. If you lower the ideal standard of choosing a spouse, you will find that those boys who are a little worse than the ideal type are not interested in you either.
Actually, when I was a child, I was thin and not fat at all, but later, the phrase "no leftovers" ruined my life.