Recently, I attended a banquet in new york. One of the guests is a woman who has just acquired wealth. She seems eager to impress people. She spent a lot of money on mink coats, diamonds and pearls, but she didn't notice the expression on her face. Her face looks so mean and selfish. Precisely

She doesn't understand that men appreciate the temperament and expression in a woman's expression, not her elegant dress.

Schwab once told me that his smile was worth one million yuan. That's probably what he implied. Schwab has achieved today because of his personality, his charm and his special ability. And in his character, the most lovely factor is his charming smile.

Once, I spent an afternoon visiting a Chevrolet. To be honest, I'm disappointed. He was taciturn, completely different from what I expected ... until he smiled? In that room, the whole atmosphere changed completely and suddenly became cheerful. If it weren't for his smile, I'm afraid Chevy would still be his carpenter in Paris and continue his father's career.

A person's actions are more specific than what he says. The smile on people's faces means' I like you, you make me happy, I'm glad to meet you!

Why do people like dogs so much? I believe it's the same reason ... did you see it? Children like being close to us so much. When? Children are naturally happy to see us, so people like us? Kid.

What about that "insincere" smile? Smile is from the heart, that kind of insincere smile is mechanical and perfunctory, which is what people say, that kind of smile that can't deceive anyone is what we hate.

The personnel director of a very big department store in new york told me about it. He said that he would rather hire a girl with a lovely smile who didn't graduate from elementary school than a cold-faced doctor of philosophy.

The chairman of a large rubber company in the United States told me that according to his observation, whether a person's career is successful depends entirely on whether he is interested in it. Instead of working hard and studying hard to open the door to his success. He once said this:

There are a group of people who have great hopes and interests when starting a business, so they can make some achievements at an early stage. When they were bored with this job and lost their original interest, his career gradually went downhill and eventually failed.

If you want others to receive you with a happy expression, then you should first treat others with such an expression.

I once suggested to thousands of business people that you should smile easily when you meet someone at any time of the day. A week later, come back to the workshop and tell me what you have learned and how it works! Look at this first. This is a letter from Mr. Sting Hardan of new york Stock Exchange. His situation is by no means a special case. In fact, it is often seen.

Stephen Hardan wrote in the letter: "I have been married for 18 years. Over the years, from the time I got up to the time I left home, my wife rarely saw the smile on my face and said a few words.

Because you asked me to give a speech on the effect of smiling experience, I tried it for a week ... The next morning when I was combing my hair, I saw my tight face in the mirror, and I said to myself,' Pierre, you have to relax your face like a plaster statue, and you have to smile ... from now on. When I sat down to have breakfast, I had a relaxed smile on my face. I said to my wife,' Honey? Good morning!

You told me she would be surprised, but you underestimated her reaction. At that time, she was very confused and at a loss. I can imagine that it was out of her unexpected happiness. This is something my wife wants; Yes, for more than two months, our family life has completely changed.

Now when I go to the office, I will smile at the elevator operator and say,' Good morning! I also smile faintly ... when I go to the counter to exchange money, I also smile at the people inside ... when I communicate, I also smile at those people I have never met. ...

Before long, I found that everyone smiled at me when they saw me. I listen to those who come to me to tell me their bitter experiences with care and pleasure. And invisibly, what they think is distressing has become easy to solve. I found that smiling brought me wealth, which is a lot of wealth.

I share an office with another agent. He hired a clerk, a lovely young man, and he gradually fell in love with me. I am proud of my achievements, so I naturally mentioned' interpersonal relationship', a new philosophy, to that young man. The young man once told me that when he first came to this office, he thought I was a vicious and hateful person with a very bad temper. His view of me has completely changed recently. He said, when you laugh, it's very human! .

I also changed my original criticism of people, and changed my words of reprimanding others into appreciation and encouragement. I will never say what I need again. But trying to accept other people's views. Now the evolution of the facts has changed my original life. Now I am a completely different person … a happier and richer person than before.

Please remember that this letter was written by an experienced and clever stockbroker. He makes a living by buying and selling securities on the new york Stock Exchange. If a hundred people try without more professional knowledge, 99 people may fail.

Do you think you can't laugh? then what There are two things you might as well try! First, force yourself to smile. If you are alone, whistling and singing, try to make yourself happy as if you are really happy, which will make you happy. James, a late professor at Harvard University, has the following views:

Actions should follow one's own feelings ... but in fact, actions and feelings run counter to each other. So when you need happiness, you can force yourself to be happy.

People want to know how to seek happiness, and here is a method that may bring you to the realm of happiness. That is to let yourself know that happiness comes from inner feelings and does not need to be sought from the outside world.

No matter what you have … who you are … where you are … or what you do … you can be happy as long as you want to be happy. Here's an example ... there are two people in the same position, doing the same thing and earning the same income, but one is relaxed and happy, and the other is sad all day. What is the reason? The answer is simple. They are in different moods.

Shakespeare once said:' There is no difference between good and bad, that's because everyone thinks.

Lincoln once said the same thing:' Most people get the same happiness as they think. He's right. Recently, I found an obvious evidence:

When I walked up the stone steps of Long Island Station in new york, I saw thirty or forty disabled children walking in front of me. They trudged up the stone steps with crutches, and some people had to be carried up. But their happiness and laughter surprised me.

Later, I found the teacher in charge of these children and talked about it. He said,' Yes, when a child realizes that he will be disabled for life, he will feel uncomfortable and uneasy. However, after this uncomfortable uneasiness passed, he had to resign himself to fate and continue to seek their happiness. They are happier than normal children now.

I really want to pay tribute to those disabled children. They taught me a lesson that I will never forget.

When Bi Ke Ford wanted to divorce Van Punk, I stayed with her all afternoon. People may think that she was in a confused mood at that time, but she was not. She still looks calm and happy. How can she calm herself down? Her secret is that when things develop like this, she will not find trouble for herself, but seek happiness from her heart.

Berg used to be the third baseman of the baseball team, but now he is one of the most successful insurance companies in America. Do you think he has a set of secrets to success? Yes, after years of research, he thinks that smiling is always welcome. Before he enters the office, he always stays outside for a minute, looking for something that makes him happy from his memories, making his face smile sincerely, and then he goes in.

He believes that although smiling is a trivial matter, it has made great achievements in his insurance career.

Let's take a look at Hubbard's magical suggestion again ... but don't forget, you must really implement it, otherwise, you just' look' and it's useless. His suggestion is:

When you go out, put your chin in, hold your head high, and fill your chest with fresh air. When you meet a friend, shake his hand. You must pour your thoughts into your palm. Don't be afraid of misunderstanding, don't think unpleasant things, don't let the enemy invade your consciousness, just shake hands with your friends.

In your mind, determine what you like to do and then move in the same direction. When you focus on what you like to do, in the years to come, you will find that you have seized all the opportunities you long for.

You should always imagine yourself as a talented, sincere and useful person who is beneficial to society. After you have this idea, you will always change yourself and make your personality gradually become this typical one. You know, a person's thinking ability can form great power.

Maintain a correct mental state ―― courage, honesty and optimism. Correct thinking can stimulate creativity. So many things come from ideals and desires. All your sincere prayers will be answered. What we want to achieve, as long as this idea is conceived in our hearts, we will have such a harvest! Relax your dignified face and raise your head. We are the masters of tomorrow.

People in ancient China were full of wisdom. They have a proverb, you should cut it out and put it in your hat. That motto is: "If people don't have a smile on their faces, don't open a shop"-"Don't open a shop without a smile".

We talked about opening a shop just now. In Wen Yi's advertisement for Na-Cowling Company, some words contain enlightening philosophy.

The value of Christmas smile:

It costs nothing, but it pays off a lot.

It is beneficial to the receiver, and there is no loss to the giver.

It happened in? That room, but the memories are always there.

No one with money will need it. But the poor get rich because of it.

It can create a happy atmosphere in the family. In business transactions, it can leave a good impression. Between friends, it is a kind greeting.

It lets the tired rest. Let disappointment gain light. Turn a sad face into sunshine. It also relieves the troubles of nature.

It has nowhere to buy, nowhere to want, nowhere to borrow and nowhere to steal ... until you get it, it is useless to anyone.

If our shop assistant is too tired to give you a smile at the last minute of Christmas, can he leave your smile?

Because people who don't smile need others to smile more.

So, if you want people to like you, the second rule is:

Smile!

If you do this, you will be popular everywhere.

Why read this book to learn how to make friends? Why not learn this skill from the animals that are the best at making friends in the world? Who is he? You will see him when you walk into the street tomorrow. When you get close to him. It wags its tail when it turns left or right. If you stop and pat him gently, he will jump up happily and show you how much he likes you. And as you know, after his intimate expression, there is no other attempt or plan. He doesn't want to sell you a piece of land, let alone marry you.

Have you ever thought that dogs are the only animals that don't need to live and work for themselves? Hens have to lay eggs ... what do cows have to pay? Milk ... The canary wants to sing. But a dog doesn't have to pay any price to maintain it? Life? They are all' love'.

When I was five years old, my father bought me a yellow-haired puppy for fifty cents. ? Brought me the light and joy of my childhood. Every afternoon around 4: 30. Sit in front of the yard, use? Those beautiful eyes, staring at the road ahead, when? When you hear my voice, or see me spinning my lunch box through the low Woods, you run up the hill like an arrow and jump and shout happily to welcome me.

Dube was my good friend for five years ... on a tragic night I can't forget, Dube was only ten years away from me? Far away, it was thundered to death. Dube's death was a tragedy in my childhood!

Dolby, you haven't read psychology, and there's no need to read it. Because of your reason, you know that if a person really cares about others and makes others interested in you, he will make more friends in two months than in two years. Let me say it again ... if you always care about and are interested in others, you will make more friends in two months than if you just want others to care about and be interested in you.

However, you and I both know that a person's mistake in life is to hope that others care about him and take an interest in him.

Of course, none of this will work out. People are not only not interested in you and me, but also will not rise to anyone. All they care about is themselves in the morning, at noon and at night.

New york Telephone Company once conducted a survey to find out what is the most commonly used space in the telephone. Maybe you have guessed the answer, that is' I' in personal pronouns. I ..... in 500 telephone conversations, I used 3990' I' words. "I", "I", "I" ...

Who do you look at first when you see a photo with you?

If you think people care about you and are interested in you, please answer this question … if you die tonight, how many people will attend your funeral?

Unless you care about others first, why should others be interested in and care about you? Take out your pen and write the following words:

If we just want to attract people's attention and make them interested in us, we will never have many sincere friends with water ... friends, real friends, not like that.

Napoleon once tried this. When he met Josephine for the last time, he said,' Josephine, I used to be the luckiest person in the world, but at this time, I am the only person I trust in the world. For historians, it is still a question whether Napoleon really trusted Josephine.

Adro, a famous Viennese psychologist, wrote a book called What Life Means to You. In that book, he said:' a person who doesn't care about others and is not interested in others will be greatly hindered and difficult in his life, and will also bring great harm and trouble to others. All human failures happen because of these people.

Maybe you have read many profound psychological books, but you didn't realize that there is such an important sentence ... I don't like to repeat it, but Adro's words are so meaningful that I will repeat it below:

A person who doesn't care about others and is not interested in others will be greatly hindered and difficult in his life, and will also bring great harm and trouble to others. All human failures happen because of these people.

I once took a course in short story writing at new york University, during which the editor of a famous magazine gave us a speech. He said that he could pick up any of the dozens of novels on his desk every day. After reading a few paragraphs, he can see whether the author likes others ... If the author doesn't like others, then others won't like his work.

The experienced editor paused twice in his speech and apologized for changing the subject. He said:

Now I want to tell you, as you heard from the priest, but don't forget that if you want to be a successful novelist, you must be interested in others first.

If this is the secret of writing a novel, you can be sure that it should be suitable for dealing with others.

Seton is a successful magician. When he was performing in Broadway, I visited him in his dressing room, and we had a heart-to-heart talk one night. In the past 40 years, Seton has traveled all over the world. His amazing magic skills swept countless audiences. About 60 million viewers saw his performance, which made him earn 2 million yuan.

I asked Mr. Seton to talk about the secret of his success. He told me a fragment of his past history ... his school education has nothing to do with his direct success. He ran away from home in his early years, became a tramp, stole trains, slept in haystacks and begged from house to house. Looking at the advertisements on both sides of the railway from the window, he knew a few words.

He has superior knowledge of magic? Don't! He told me this himself. Hundreds of books about magic have been published. At present, in the magic world, there are dozens of people who are as accomplished as him. But he has two things that others don't have:

He has acting personality, and he understands human feelings. Every gesture and tone of his voice was carefully rehearsed in advance. He is quick and responsive, and every minute is not bad.

Besides, Seton has a pure interest in people. He told me that many magicians looked at the audience and said to themselves, these fools and hillbillies, I want to fool them well. But Seton is nothing like that. He told me that every time he went on stage, he had to say to himself,' I want to thank the audience who made me live a comfortable life, and I will do my best to make this performance well.

He said that whenever he stepped onto the stage, he would say to himself,' I love my audience, I love my audience. Is it funny? Is it unreasonable? You can think whatever you want. I just provide you with the skills of the most famous magician, and don't comment.

Mrs Heng Ke told me the same thing. Poor or not, she held back her sadness and her life was full of tragedy. On one occasion, she even wanted to commit suicide with her child in her arms ... Although she met such a bad environment, she continued to sing her favorite songs and eventually became a sensational' Genna' singer. By her own admission, the secret of her success is her keen interest in "people".

Old President Roosevelt made amazing achievements and was welcomed by people, which was one of the secrets of his success. Even his servants love him. Amos, his black follower, once wrote a book about him called Sidwell. Roosevelt relied on his hero. In which book is it? Emerson told a touching story:

Once, my wife asked the president what quail looked like. Because she had never seen quail, President Roosevelt took pains to tell her. Some time later, my phone rang. Ames and his wife live in a small house in President Roosevelt's Oyster Bay House. My wife answered the phone. It was the president himself. President Roosevelt told her on the phone that there is a quail bird outside the window now. If she looks out the window, she can see it.

Caring about such a small matter is one of the characteristics of President Roosevelt. Every time he passes outside our house … sometimes he can't see us, we can still hear' Hi … Ames! Hello ... Annie. That kind of fuss

Why doesn't such a master let his servants love him? Who can not like him?

One day, Roosevelt went into the White House to see President Taft. He and his wife were outside. Old Roosevelt really liked those subordinates. He greeted all the old servants in the White House, even the maid's name. It hurts. Bai De' once had such an account:

When he saw Alice, the maid in the kitchen, he asked her if she was still making bread for Yushu. Alice told him that sometimes that kind of bread is made for servants, and they don't eat it upstairs.

Roosevelt heard this and said loudly that it was because they had no luck to eat. When I see the president, I will tell him about it.

Alice took a piece of jade and Sichuan seasonal bread to Roosevelt; While walking and eating, he went to the office, passed the gardener and the workmates and greeted each of them. ...

Roosevelt greeted and talked to each of them kindly, just like when he was president ... An old servant said with tears in his eyes: This is the happiest day for me in recent years. Even if one of us brought a hundred dollars, I wouldn't change it.

Dr. Elijah, the president of Harvard University, is deeply concerned and interested in other people's problems, so he will be loved by every teacher and student in the school. The following is an example of Dr. Elijah's attitude towards others:

One day, Clayton, a freshman, went to the principal's office to withdraw 50 yuan money from the loan for poor students. Later, Clayton said:

I was very grateful when I got the money. When I was about to leave the office, President Elia stopped me and said, "Please sit down for a while." ... I heard you were in the dormitory? Cooking by yourself, if you eat properly and adequately, I don't think it's bad for you. I used to do this when I was in college ... I was surprised to hear that. He went on to say, "Have you ever made meat pies? If it is well done, it is a good dish. I used to like it ... he told me in detail how to do it. "

I discovered this through my own experience. If we sincerely care about others, we can get the attention and cooperation of the busiest people in America! Let me give you an example:

A few years ago, I held a novel writing course in Locklin Institute of Technology. We hope that famous writers Norris, Hester, Taber and Xu Shi can come to our class and tell us about their writing experiences. So we wrote a letter to each of them, saying that we appreciate their works very much, so I hope they can take some time to come to our class and talk about their writing experience and the secret of success.

Each letter is signed by 150 students. In the letter, we also said ... we know that they must be busy and have no time to give speeches, so we attach a questionnaire to each letter, asking them to fill in their writing methods and so on, and then send it to us. They like such letters. So they all came all the way from home to Locklin to help us solve this problem.

Similarly, we invited the Treasury Secretary under President Roosevelt, the Chief Justice under President Taft, and many other celebrities to give speeches in my lecture class.

All people, whether he is a butcher, a baker or a king on the throne, like people who respect him. The Kaiser Wilhelm has such an example. After World War I, people all over the world believed that William was the chief culprit of the war. After he fled to Holland, even the Germans refused to talk to him. There are millions of people who hate him, and some even want to cut him to pieces.

In this anger, a little boy wrote a simple and sincere letter, full of sincerity and admiration, and sent it to Kaiser Wilhelm. After reading this letter, the Kaiser was very moved and invited the little boy to see him. The little boy really came, accompanied by his mother. Later, the Kaiser married the mother of the child. The little boy doesn't need to read books about how to make friends and how to influence others. He was born to know how to do it.

If we want to make friends, we should first stand up and do something for others ―― something that needs time, energy, justice and compassion. When Duke Edward was the Crown Prince, he planned to travel around South America. Before he left, he spent some time learning Spanish so that he could talk directly with people from South America ... so he was especially popular with people there.

Over the years, I have seriously inquired about my friend's birthday ... how did this happen? Of course, I don't believe in astrology, but I met my friends and asked them if they believe that people's birthdays are related to everyone's personality and character. Then I asked him to tell me his date of birth. If he said that he was born on 1 1 24th, I will remember this day firmly myself. As soon as he turned around, I quietly wrote down my name and birthday, and when I got home, I wrote it in a' birthday book'.

At the beginning of each year, I will write these birthdays on the desk calendar on my desk. I send a congratulatory letter or telegram to someone on his birthday. How happy he was when he received a congratulatory letter or message. I am the only friend in the world besides his relatives who knows his birthday.

If we want to make friends, we should welcome them with the most cordial attitude. When someone calls you, you should feel the same way and add "Hello!" in a very welcome tone. New york Telephone Company holds a training course to train operators ...: When the inquirer asks' What number', he should add' Glad to serve you'. Remember this when you receive a phone call in the future.