2, someone keeps a pig, hates it, dislikes it, but the pig knows the way home, and it is useless to dislike it. One day, he drove a lot of cars and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, "Is the pig coming back?" Answer: "I have come back!" " It growled, "put it on the phone, I'm lost!" " "
You won't know if you don't know. The exam is exciting enough, but there is no doubt; If you don't know in class, you will make a lot of styles; Self-study is the same as knowledge, you are all born; Born in China, died in China; It is possible for me to learn English. English is not qualified, which shows my character; If the math is unqualified, the teacher takes full responsibility; What should I do if the language is unqualified? Doing well in the exam depends entirely on isolation; If you don't do well in the exam, you don't know how to do it in isolation; Going back to school every day is even more scary, and the teacher talks about the wild. I listened like a sleepwalker, criticizing for no reason; Homework is like revenge, and doing wild things is like fishing for the head; Going back to school is left-handed, getting worse every day; Copy your homework, and none of the departments will hand it in; Go back to school and drink coke after school; Ring the bell and fly separately, another day.
4, your mother is old, if I don't stay and fuck you, I will close my eyes and say no less than two or three sentences today. Anger also, people who take a nap, not only me, but also the focus. What's more, I haven't lost my mind, and I am very wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the chopping board? Six out of ten people hate you. Are you okay? Its number can be seen. Let bygones be bygones. Today's events are hateful, so don't get angry. Mother is sincere, and mother is not happy.
5, a person drinks good wine, not wine. One day, I drank and got drunk. Return and point to the sky: Is this the sun or the moon?
6. Quit the chat room and go to the boring version; I didn't smell insects, but I saw invitations flying all over the sky. Seeing her husband offline, her husband burst into tears; If you only care about Internet addiction, you are in debt. Ask the woman where she wants to go and frankly worship her parents; Take a thousand miles to go to an appointment to tell your heart. Hearing the news of my daughter, I was anxious to hide everywhere. Sister-in-law heard that she was coming, and quickly locked the doors and windows; Hearing my sister coming, I climbed up the east wall in a panic. Open my old door and move your arhat bed; Open my old cupboard and search your password box. When you count the money at the window, go to the airport immediately. Seeing netizens thousands of miles away, their eyes sparkle; I've been online for a month, and I don't know what a beautiful girl looks like.
After 7.80, my husband, who started his career in literature, failed to get free compulsory education and could not see the distribution of colleges and universities. He had to expand his enrollment, pass five customs and cut six generals, followed by a master's degree, and achieved 26 years with a debt of 100 thousand. Looking for a living, leaving home, crossing Jiangsu and Zhejiang in the east, Huguang in the south, volunteering in the west, drifting to Kyoto in the north, flying to Dai Yue, holding candles for ten years, saving 100 thousand. The property market has skyrocketed, there is no place to live, and the purchase price is not enough for the down payment. So he invested in the stock market, and the next year it shrank to more than 10 thousand yuan. He suffered from depression and was hospitalized for a week. All his illnesses failed, and he was expelled from the hospital because he owed money. Looking for medical insurance, not meeting the rules of serious illness, refusing to pay, and returning with illness. Friends pity it, send Sanlu milk powder, drink it and die.
8. I have been uneasy recently, and I don't think about tea and rice. Just because you borrowed thirty coppers that day, there is no shortage of rice and vegetables at home. what can I do? The county magistrate, Liu Gong, sent a servant girl to ask for a yellow diamond in March. For this reason, the little girl stayed at home and couldn't sleep at night. Because she has squandered all her money so far, she often misses thirty coppers that day. I treat them like my own, and I know what I want, sister. I am also very polite, hee hee.
9, a person drinking, drunk. Only the loose parts need help. Push it away with your hands and say, go!
10, dinosaurs are shy, beautiful girls are proud, and they all chat online, so Ann can tell me what I look like.
1 1, Confucius said: No matter how high martial arts are, you are afraid of kitchen knives. No matter how beautifully you dress, you will get a brick. A tree will die if it doesn't skin it. People are shameless and invincible in the world.
12, Confucius said: Don't pretend to be B, pretend to be struck by lightning; Don't pretend to be pure, pretend to be pure.
13, hee hee hee, pretty girl on the plane; I can't smell the dial tone, only women sigh. Ask the woman what she thinks and what she remembers; Women have nothing to think about, and women have nothing to remember. I was really shocked when I went online last night; Twelve letters from my sister were all invited to meet under the net. The beautiful girl is married and has taken someone else's surname; The purpose of surfing the Internet is to entertain ourselves and make new friends. The eastern version is idle, and the western version writes autobiography; South to talk about heart songs, north to talk. Face up to the internet and connect at dusk; I didn't hear my husband call his wife, but I heard the insects keep barking.
14, Confucius said: hit with bricks! What a mess! Press the head! Dead or not, another Buddha is talking nonsense! I am kind! Not too much! A brick is dead.
China's Classical Funny Quotations
1, I don't know! Dare to agree, crazy! 2. Confucius said: My parents are here and I don't travel far. You must travel well.
3. Liu Suying's illness is often in the sky. Chen Shi urine soup, never expired.
4, the whole world is turbid, I am alone, everyone is drunk, I wake up alone, so I see it!
5. One after another, Mulan flies a plane. What plane does she fly? Boeing 747.
6. Confucius said: don't install B, you will be struck by lightning; Don't pretend to be pure, pretend to be pure.
7, a person drinking, drunk. Only the loose parts need help. Push it away with your hands and say, go!
8, the whole world knows that I am alone, and everyone is awake that I am alone. This is made of paper!
9. I don't leave my grandfather here. I have my own place. I don't leave my grandfather everywhere. I go to the railway.
10, dinosaurs are shy, beautiful girls are proud, and they all chat online, so Ann can tell me what I look like.
1 1, I have two in twenty this year, and my grandmother has nine in ninety this year. Please forgive my affair.
12, the imperial edict is severe, and I am in charge of Altman. The whole universe forced me to hang myself. I must obey.
13, I love softness; Li Kui JY, the former satrap, loved Fang La more. From the Secretariat in Leslie Cheung, a courtier and a slave.
14, resigned from Beijing last year, lived in Tokyo and fell ill. Tokyo is quiet and unhappy, and I have never heard of Sima Guang in my life.
15, money, I want it; Beauty is what I want. You can't have your cake and eat it, and those who give up money for beauty are also.
16, I can live for a hundred years without my grandmother; Grandma can live for a thousand years without a minister. Mother and son can't compare with turtles.
17, a person drinks good wine, but not wine. One day, I drank and got drunk. Return and point to the sky: Is this the sun or the moon?
18, Confucius said: No matter how high martial arts are, you are afraid of kitchen knives. No matter how beautifully you dress, you will get a brick. A tree will die if it doesn't skin it. People are shameless and invincible in the world.
19, Confucius said: hit with bricks! What a mess! Press the head! Dead or not, another Buddha is talking nonsense! I am kind! Not too much! A brick is dead.
20, I am less sick, not nine years old. Alone, as for the establishment of a new China. There are no handsome guys, and finally there are beautiful women. The door is weak and thin, and there is a rest at night.
2 1, someone raised a pig, annoyed it and abandoned it. However, the pig knows the way back, and it is useless to abandon it. One day, he drove around many times and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, Is the pig home? Answer: I have come back! Its roar: put it on the phone, I'm lost!
Complete collection of signatures in classical Chinese
1. Keep it if you want it. If you want to be weak, you must be strong. If it is to be abolished, it must be revitalized. If you want to take it, you must fix it.
2, the breadth of life and death, Zi Chengqi said. Hold your hand and grow old with your son.
3. People don't believe and don't know what they can do. The cart has no nickels, and the car has no space. How can we do that?
4, know his men, keep his women, for the world; Know its white, keep its black, for the world, know its glory, keep its shame, for Amagai.
5, to the virtual pole, keep quiet. Everything is working together, and I will see it recover.
6. How can we go for a long time when time is colorful and changeable?
7. Forget his body and existence after his body and body.
8. Those who know me make me worry, and those who don't know me make me want. Heaven is long! Who is this?
9. Why do you have to fight for others? Once you have no life, everything will be still.
10, the year of parents, you must know. One is joy and the other is fear.
1 1, scrimp and save, drink water, bend your arms and enjoy it. Unjust wealth is like a cloud to me.
12, worthy of people, fearless.
13, love will pay a lot; Hide too much and die a thick death. Therefore, contentment is not shameful, and knowing that it is not dangerous can last long.
14, the rain is zero, and life is different. Star rewelding said driving, Sangtian said.
15, I'm embarrassed, and I'm sad about it. I think of my wife's death, and it is really considerate of my heart.
16, don't suffer from people who don't know themselves and don't know people.
17, pick the rolling ear, not enough for the basket. Well, I'm pregnant, so I went somewhere else.
18, honesty is fearless, but ultimately strong and unyielding. The body is dead, the spirit will never die, and your soul is the ghost of a hero!
19, civil and military politics, cloth in Fang Ce. If people exist, it will be a political move; When a person dies, his political interest is gone.
20, holding the wood, born at the end; Nine-story platform, tired of soil. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
2 1, looking forward to the Olympics, bamboo is embarrassed. There are bandits and gentlemen, such as cutting as grinding.
22. The winner is the foundation of the world. He who is harmonious achieves the way of the world.
23. Everything is born without harming each other, and the Tao is parallel without contradicting. Small Germany flows, great Germany is Dunhua.
24. Where there is right and wrong, there will be right and wrong.
25, the world artifact, can not be, can not be. Those who do lose, and those who do lose.
26. Learning is like sailing against the current. If you don't advance, you will retreat. Like a plain horse, it's easy to let go but difficult to collect.
27. In Yuan's place, there is He Lan, but I think my son is afraid to speak.
28. I am interested in Nanshan, and my words have been adopted. It's sad not to see a gentleman.
29. People who know me worry me. What do I want if you don't know me? Tiandaochang, who is this?
30. Learning is getting worse and worse. Loss and loss lead to inaction.
3 1, see xian Si Qi Yan, see xian Si Qi introspection.
32. When is the evening? See this lover. Zi Xi, such a good person.
When Wang returns, he can't stay in the mountains for long.
34. There is a man who is beautiful, young and graceful. It's perfect for me to meet a real coincidence.
35. A husband who promises lightly will break his promise, and it is easy and difficult.
36. I am entangled in my heart, thinking about life but not letting go.
37. Don't be angry, don't be angry, don't give up, give a corner, don't resist, then it's gone.
38. The court eight-string dance can only be tolerated by the show.
39. A friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, but a friendship between villains is as sweet as dew.
40. Only by grasping the way of the past can we have the present. Knowing the ancient times means knowing oneself.
4 1, happy from now on, can't stay. Being rich and arrogant is to blame. Retirement after work is heaven.
42, benevolent, people are also, the pro is big. Honest people should also respect kind people.
43, the bird will die, and its song is also sad; The dying man speaks the truth.
44, sensitive and eager to learn, not ashamed to ask questions, also called Wen.
45, Bai Gui temple, fair grinding, four eyes temple, do not do.
46. The sincere person is self-contained, and the Taoist person is self-contained.
47, saints don't accumulate, thinking that the more people, the more.
48. The avenue is abandoned and meaningful; Wisdom comes out with great fallacies; Six parents are not harmonious and have filial piety; In osawa, there are loyal ministers.
49. Therefore, it is beneficial.
50. New bathers will play with crowns, and new bathers will shake their clothes.
5 1, blame others' hearts, blame yourself, forgive your own hearts and forgive others.
52. The way of heaven and earth can be summed up in one sentence: if it is a thing, it is a biological accident.
53. It is far from resentment to bow down and complain about others.
54, the sun and the moon suddenly do not drown, spring and autumn have their order.
55, the world is unclear: cicadas are heavy, and thousands of cockroaches are light; The yellow bell is destroyed, and the tile thunders; Men are arrogant and wise men are nameless.
56, body hair and skin, relying on parents; Dare not damage, the beginning of filial piety is also.
57-year-old Yo Yo Luming Literature, Wild Apple. I have a group of good guests, playing the piano and playing the piano.
58. Self-honesty, that is, sex; Self-knowledge and sincerity are called teaching. Sincerity is clear, and clarity is sincere.
59. Dare to kill and dare to live.
60. Being rich and expensive is what people want. They don't get what they want, and there is nowhere to go.
6 1, I have a big patient because I have a body. I have no body. What's wrong with me?
62. divide the land by heaven; It is Shu Ren's filial duty to use it sparingly for adoptive parents.
63. People with lofty ideals are benevolent, and there is no harm in saving, and there is benevolence in death.
64 is also, I don't know; Second, personal reputation; Second, fear it; Secondly, insult it. I don't believe enough, but I don't believe enough.
65. The wind will never stop, and the shower will not last all day. Who can do this, heaven and earth. Heaven and earth can't last long, what about people?
66, logging Ding Ding, birds sing. From the valley, wandering in the Woods. Let it sing and ask for its friendly voice.
67, xi, he is not young, if China He Guang? Why is it warm in winter? Xia Han?
68. Vote for Mu Tao and repay me Qiong Yao.
69. My father gave birth to me, and my mother obeyed me, pampered me, nursed me, cared for me, and went in and out of my belly. If you want to repay kindness, you will be extremely confused.
70. It is better not to be in front of people than to be incomplete in front of them.
7 1, rule the country with righteousness, fight with strangeness, and take the world with nothing.
72. I love you, but I don't care if you are far away. If you hide it in the center, when will you forget it?
73. There is a person who is beautiful, young and graceful.
74. An honest man, who is unwilling, gets it without thinking, goes with the times and becomes a saint.
You don't know what you can do if you don't keep your promise.
76, winter night, summer, after a hundred years old, to his room.
77. Its sense of security is easy to grasp and difficult to seek. Crispy and easy to spread, but slightly easy to disperse. Do it for nothing, treat it in disorder.
78. Everything is life, and people can do anything.
79. The nature of destiny means the nature and the way of nature.
80. People who know my heart worry me. What do I want if you don't know me?
8 1, white rabbit, white rabbit, look around, clothes are not as good as new, people are not as good as old.
82. However, people are tangible, so although they are wise, they cannot be ruthless; No lack of sex, no matter how stupid you are, you can't be heartless.
83. Gentlemen are harmonious but different, while villains are not harmonious.
84. Quiet girl, I am in the corner of the city; Deliberately hiding for me to find, scratching my head.
85, born without, not relying on, living successfully; It is impossible for a husband to live in a house.
86. All over the world, it is the land of kings; Is leading the land king?
87. Therefore, a gentleman is guilty of introspection and does all kinds of evil. Gentlemen are out of reach, villains are out of reach!
Dinosaurs are shy, and pretty girls are puffed up.
Dinosaurs are shy, and pretty girls are proud. Confucius said: hit with bricks! What a mess! Press the head! Dead or not, another Buddha is talking nonsense! I am kind! Not too much! A brick is dead.
2. Confucius said: No matter how high the martial arts are, you are afraid of kitchen knives. No matter how beautifully you dress, you will get a brick. A tree will die if it doesn't skin it. People are shameless and invincible in the world.
3: The end of the month is approaching, but the short messages are more than enough, and the number is huge, endless, and it is difficult to count! Every time I think about this, I have no regrets about my discipline, the hasty sigh of time, and the bitterness of moving and the sadness of the world. It's useless to send it in groups to soothe the grievances in your heart. But every month, when will it end? It is to realize the laziness on weekdays and brew the bitter fruit today. If you are diligent in texting, why worry about not finishing it? Therefore, for this article, I want to inform you that the lessons learned from the past are in front of us, and latecomers should not repeat the same mistakes. If you send text messages quickly, they will be full of trouble!
4: Drinking alone and getting drunk. Only the loose parts need help. Push it away with your hands and say, go!
5: A person drinks good wine, not wine. One day, I drank and got drunk. Return and point to the sky: Is this the sun or the moon?
6: Hee hee, the pretty girl is on the plane; I can't smell the dial tone, only women sigh. Ask the woman what she thinks and what she remembers; Women have nothing to think about, and women have nothing to remember. I was really shocked when I went online last night; Twelve letters from my sister were all invited to meet under the net. The beautiful girl is married and has taken someone else's surname; The purpose of surfing the Internet is to entertain ourselves and make new friends. The eastern version is idle, and the western version writes autobiography; South to talk about heart songs, north to talk. Face up to the internet and connect at dusk; I didn't hear my husband call his wife, but I heard the insects keep barking.
7: Your mother is old. If I hadn't stayed to work with you, I would have said that I would have closed my eyes no less than two or three sentences today. Anger also, people who take a nap, not only me, but also the focus. What's more, I haven't lost my mind, and I am very wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the chopping board? Six out of ten people hate you. Are you okay? Its number can be seen. Let bygones be bygones. Today's events are hateful, so don't get angry. Mother is sincere, and mother is not happy.
8. I'm very upset recently. I won't think about tea and rice just because of the thirty coppers you borrowed that day. There is no shortage of rice at home. what can I do? The maid sent a short message to the county magistrate Mr. Liu on his thirtieth birthday, asking for money. For this reason, my little daughter can't stay at home at night. She hasn't squandered anything so far, so she often misses the thirty coppers that day, but I regard them as my own. I understand, sister. I'm welcome, hee hee.
9. Someone raised a pig, annoyed him and abandoned it. However, the pig knows the way home, and it is useless to abandon it. One day, he drove around many times and abandoned the pig. He called home late at night and asked, Is the pig home? Answer: I have come back! Its roar: put it on the phone, I'm lost!
10: dinosaurs are shy, and pretty girls are proud. They are all chatting online, so I can tell what kind of person I am.
1 1: Confucius said: Don't pretend to be B, pretend to be B; Don't pretend to be pure, pretend to be pure.
12: product after product, if you don't know, you won't know; The exam is exciting enough, but there is no doubt; If you don't know in class, you will make a lot of styles; Self-study is the same as knowledge, you are all born; Born in China, died in China; It is possible for me to learn English. English is not qualified, which shows my character; If the math is unqualified, the teacher takes full responsibility; What should I do if the language is unqualified? Doing well in the exam depends entirely on isolation; If you don't do well in the exam, you don't know how to do it in isolation; Going back to school every day is even more scary, and the teacher talks about the wild. I listened like a sleepwalker, criticizing for no reason; Homework is like revenge, and doing wild things is like fishing for the head; Going back to school is left-handed, getting worse every day; Copy your homework, and none of the departments will hand it in; Go back to school and drink coke after school; Ring the bell and fly separately, another day.
/kloc-after 0/3: 80, my husband, a beginner in literature, compulsory education is not free, and I can't see the distribution of institutions. He deserves to expand his enrollment, and after five passes, he will be defeated by six generals, one after another. Looking for a living, leaving home, crossing Jiangsu and Zhejiang in the east, Huguang in the south, volunteering in the west, drifting to Kyoto in the north, flying to Dai Yue, holding candles for ten years, saving 100 thousand. The property market has skyrocketed, there is no place to live, and the purchase price is not enough for the down payment. So he invested in the stock market, and the next year it shrank to more than 10 thousand yuan. He suffered from depression and was hospitalized for a week. All his illnesses failed, and he was expelled from the hospital because of arrears. Looking for medical insurance, not meeting the rules of serious illness, refusing to pay, and returning with illness. Friends pity it, send Sanlu milk powder, drink it and die.
14: deny the chat room and go to the chat-free version; I didn't smell insects, but I saw invitations flying all over the sky. Seeing her husband offline, her husband burst into tears; If you only care about Internet addiction, you are in debt. Ask the woman where she wants to go and frankly worship her parents; Take a thousand miles to go to an appointment to tell your heart. Hearing the news of my daughter, I was anxious to hide everywhere. Sister-in-law heard that she was coming, and quickly locked the doors and windows; Hearing my sister coming, I climbed up the east wall in a panic. Open my old door and move your arhat bed; Open my old cupboard and search your password box. When you count the money at the window, go to the airport immediately. Seeing netizens thousands of miles away, their eyes sparkle; I've been online for a month, and I don't know what a beautiful girl looks like.