This text has achieved extremely obvious results when implementing psychological quality reconstruction courses in Beijing Foreign Studies University and other institutions. After three report meetings, many college students have undergone important changes in their psychological quality.

How to make your life successful, you must start by changing your own qualities. How to change your psychological quality starts with your behavior. Relaxing your mind and focusing on reading this text is what we can do now.

As long as you enter this text with a truly participating attitude, you will feel obvious changes in the reading process. Because the entire design of this text is to induce changes in everyone's psychological quality.

I firmly believe that everyone can reinvent themselves

Gain thousands of smiles with one smile

I am so happy, especially happy to see you.

More than ten years ago, in 1986, most of my friends here were probably in primary school. At that time, my first novel "New Star" was adapted into a TV series. Some classmates may have watched the TV series and still have an impression of Li Xiangnan played by Zhou Lijing. More than ten years later, you have grown up and read many books, and I have written many more books.

We are sitting here today to discuss a question, that is, how can people live better in this world. I hope that today is not a general and rigid lecture, but that everyone has the awareness to participate and jointly carry out a psychological self-adjustment and cultivation.

A few days ago, an overseas Chinese came to visit me. The old gentleman’s business was very good. He came to China just to spend some money on China's cultural undertakings. He came to me with this question, where do I spend my money? He said something that day, saying that there is a reward in doing business for a lifetime.

He said that in this world, others will give me the same expression in return. I give the other person a resentful look, and the other person gives me a resentful look in return; I give the other person a kind smile, and the other person gives me a kind smile in return.

He continued, My experience is that when you face a smile to hundreds of people, hundreds of people will return thousands of smiles to you. In this way, your life will be successful.

This sentence is very mysterious. Therefore, I first ask all the friends here to smile, which is very meaningful.

There are three benefits for a person to face life with a smile.

The first benefit is that smiling naturally adjusts your body.

When the face smiles and the whole body relaxes, our whole body will smile.

Please experience it. Smile with your chest and stomach. When you have stomach pain, let your stomach smile and your stomach will relax and the pain will be relieved. The whole body including the limbs will smile. Say a humorous remark and your butt will smile. Smiling has a physiological relaxing effect.

The second benefit is that smiling not only relaxes the body physically, but also relaxes the mind mentally.

Students are under pressure to study, have heavy tasks, and have many careers to do in the future. I am the same as you. After "New Star", I wrote many works, but I am not sick now. This is due to self-relaxation and facing life with a smile.

Therefore, I hope that everyone will always smile during today's communication.

The third benefit of smiling is what the old gentleman said before. If a person is good at treating the world and people around him with a smile in his daily life, he will get more opportunities.

Think about it, if you go shopping and see the salesperson in front of the counter with a bad expression, your desire to buy will be reduced by half. When you see him talking to you happily and cheerfully, your desire to buy increases a lot. As the ancients said, "harmony brings wealth."

This is what you need to pay attention to when doing small business, and when doing "big business" in your whole life, when you are good at treating life with a smile, you will undoubtedly gain a lot more popularity, a lot more opportunities, a lot more understanding, and a lot less frustrations, contradictions and obstacle. So, I hope everyone comes with a smile and goes with a smile.

I have a little suggestion for my friends, learn to relax your shoulders to reduce extra fatigue during mental work. Our fatigue is largely caused by extra expenses—extra tension, extra burdens.

We often watch TV, and most Chinese and foreign leaders appear on TV, but you can see that some people are relaxed and some are not. If a leader often makes unnecessary hand movements or holds his shoulders, it shows that he is not relaxed and is not adapted to major diplomatic occasions, which makes him prone to fatigue.

Our topic today is "The Psychology of Success". Success Psychology is about life.

A complete life: success, health, and freedom

Generally speaking, a complete life consists of six words: success, health, and freedom. If we make some comments on these six words, then two words should be added after success: morality. You can't say I'm a successful drug dealer.

If you want to comment on freedom, you can also add two words: beautiful.

These six words can also be turned into ten words: success, morality, health, beauty, and freedom. This is what a complete and happy life should be, and I hope my friends will be fully aware of this.

Life is very mysterious, and it is entirely possible that a slight difference in a basic concept may turn out to be completely different.

I hope that starting from today, everyone will be very clear about the concept that their lives must be "successful, healthy and comfortable".

This is the first starting point.

A successful life = opportunity + ability

Everyone will have various reactions to life. A successful life is accomplished by such a formula:

A successful life = opportunity + ability.

Opportunities are generally certain for a person. What we are going to look at now is abilities. I hope friends will form a complete concept of abilities. Ability should equal intelligence plus non-intellectual psychological qualities. This is the complete concept of ability.

So, why can a person succeed in life?

Let me give you a simple example. I met a classmate when I was walking on campus. Maybe I would ask him a question, ask for directions or find out which department he was in. If his reaction makes me feel friendly, I may talk to him for a few more words; if his reaction makes me less friendly, I will talk to him for a while and then walk away. Therefore, due to different reactions, different students gain different results in life. Whether you can succeed in life or not depends on your choices and judgments on the opportunities around you.

There are all kinds of things around you, including study, social interaction, teachers and students, peripheral relationships, various knowledge, society, and culture. You have made a contribution to everything. Reflect on your own reaction and answer. There are good and bad solutions, and you get more and less things, good and bad.

Believe that everyone can reshape themselves

The third basic concept is very important, which is the belief that everyone can reshape themselves, including shaping their own intelligence, psychological quality, and personality. , temperament, charm, reshape your own destiny.

This concept must be established, and today’s *** discussion is based on this firm belief.

Give a few small examples.

There is a person, I once wrote about him in one of my books, named An Zilin. He suffered from very severe anxiety disorder, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and multiple mental illnesses. After Various treatments using Western medicine were ineffective.

However, when we entered deep psychological analysis and psychological adjustment, although I only met him once and made four phone calls, due to my analysis, he became a healthy person from then on.

To give another example, a reporter in Shanghai has been unable to change his nervous state for many years. His life is tense, his personality is tense, his emotions are tense, and his speaking mood and writing rhythm are all fast. He has been suffering from gastric ulcers and duodenal ulcers for many years, and he has been inseparable from medicine for many years. He thinks that his character, his nervous state, his life temperament, and his physical illness are difficult to solve.

Last year I traveled to Russia with him. I just told him a simple way to relax himself. He only did it for five to ten minutes a day, and the results were great.

In 1991, I went to Hohhot for a book signing, and many people lined up to sign autographs that day. There was a relatively young woman who was a teacher. She came to me in a very low voice and said that she had a weakness and did not dare to speak loudly.

Think about it, everyone, a teacher has entered the workplace, but she does not dare to speak loudly. This weakness prevents her from working well. She was in great pain and felt that this was an innate character weakness that was difficult to change. I have never believed that one cannot reinvent oneself. Even things that are innate can be changed as long as you have the determination to change and the right methods.

What should I do if she asked me?

I said at the time, it’s very simple. Now please say a sentence loudly.

She mustered up the courage to say something, but her voice was still as small as a mosquito. Because there were so many people, she especially didn't dare to speak loudly.

I said this is not possible, you have to speak loudly.

Her second voice was much louder than the first, but still quieter than the average person.

I then said, you have made great progress, but you still need to be louder.

Then her voice became louder.

When I encouraged her again, she yelled. People around her applauded.

I said, did you feel anything when you spoke loudly just now?

When that voice and confidence rush out, it's not reason, but feeling.

She said, yes.

I say, follow this feeling and say a word loudly.

So she said something very loudly.

I said, repeat it again. she repeated.

I said, repeat it again. she repeated.

Everyone applauded her warmly.

This case is nothing more than behavioral therapy using psychology. Of course, it requires mutual trust, the stimulation and mobilization of a field, the need to fix one's own feelings in behavior, and to consolidate this feeling through repetition.

People can change.

From easy to difficult, encouraging principles, positive hints

People have different thinking characteristics, behavioral qualities, and psychological characteristics. If you think your weaknesses cannot be changed, then It couldn't be more foolish. If you think you can change, then it is not difficult to change many things. Just like when I was doing a live broadcast on the radio, a parent asked a question on the phone, saying that my child did not dare to speak loudly. Another parent also asked this question and said that the child was very timid. I said that it is not difficult to solve this problem, the key lies in the parents.

I talked about three principles.

The first principle is to proceed from easy to difficult.

If your child recognizes birth, then you should look for some half-baked people to make the transition. If a child doesn't recognize himself in front of his parents and recognizes his birth in front of outsiders, he should look for some friends who are not his parents but are familiar with the family so that he can learn to communicate with them.

The second principle is the principle of encouragement.

As long as the child shows some signs and makes some progress in the process of transforming from recognizing children to not recognizing children, encourage them immediately.

The third principle is to never tell others that my child is a child. Many people's character weaknesses were hinted at by their surrounding environment, including their parents, when they were young.

Therefore, for children, we leave the task of shaping character to parents.

For us adults, leave the task of reshaping yourself to yourself.

The power of language

If you have this or that weak point in your psychology that you think is not ideal, you must set yourself the determination, confidence and ability to adjust it. plan. Here, we talk about a little mystery. This is the mystery of psychology and an experience in life.

The affairs of the world can only be determined once they are expressed in words.

Once expressed in behavioral language, it is more certain.

What does it mean?

For example, when we were talking, you realized that there was a flaw in your character, a weakness. This weakness affected your courageous, generous, charming and elegant communication, life, and open up. You realize it and decide to change. At this time, I hope you have a representation, which is a language representation.

If I ask you, are you determined?

At this time, when you say the word "yes", as long as you express your inner thoughts in words, you will begin to change yourself. This is the mystery. The ancients said, "Once a word is spoken, it is difficult to follow it." On the surface, everyone understands it this way, it is a so-called credibility issue, a so-called issue of keeping one's word to one's word. But in fact, there is a more profound psychological mystery in this sentence of the ancients. If any language is clearly spoken, it will produce some results, and this result cannot be completely obliterated.

Therefore, when you say something that is a bad suggestion to yourself, even if it is a lie, it is impossible for you to completely obliterate it. And if you say something that has good psychological implications for yourself, it is impossible to completely deny its results.

If you don’t believe it, you can do an experiment.

You deliberately pretended to be sick on a certain day. You are not sick, you are just pretending to be sick. Tell this classmate that you have a stomachache, and tell that classmate that you have a stomachache. You say it dozens of times, and in order to make others believe it, you have to pretend. After pretending to a certain extent, you find that your stomach is not feeling well.

Do you know what I mean?

(Answer: Yes!)

My friends are all college students, and their time is very precious. There is no need for you to listen to some general psychology that has nothing to do with you. I hope that through these exchanges, everyone can change a little bit. I don’t speak in vain, and you don’t listen in vain.

Do you understand what I mean?

(Answer: Got it!)

Great! Just want this state. I hope everyone will change at this scene.

The pledge of victory