2. Go to McDonald's with your best friend. Shouldn't the clerk at McDonald's say to wait for dinner on the right after collecting money? Why did he say you can really eat? Can you complain to him?
3. Every industry has its own granddaddy: carpenter Bailuban; Tofu shop worships Liu An; The silk industry worships Lei Zu. Who is the grandfather of the courier company? Last Christmas, I finally found the answer: the owner of Xiangkou Express Company led all the salesmen to worship the grandfather Santa Claus under the Christmas tree, in memory of the legendary figure in the express delivery industry who delivered hundreds of millions of pieces overnight and never allowed customers to open the box for inspection before signing.
When I was single, I always forced myself to wash clothes. In order to get rid of this hard life, I decisively found a girlfriend. Yes, you guessed right. Now I also wash clothes for my girlfriend. Stop it. It's all tears. I have to hang up my clothes.
I asked to go out to play in the summer vacation, but my father refused. He said: after marriage, I am not responsible for anything that happens. I didn't say anything.
6. Dad drank too much and asked me: Yuyu, is anyone chasing you? I said: Yes, there are too many people chasing me. I'm choosing! Dad suddenly smiled and said, Dad just likes our jade personality. No one can chase him, but he can still play!
7. Today, my son's kindergarten group went to the aquarium to see penguins. After returning home in the afternoon, the kindergarten teacher called me and said that my son had disappeared halfway. When I found it later, I was all wet. I apologized, said I was fine, and hung up. After a while, my son came back and saw him put down his schoolbag and open it. Nima, a vivid penguin in it is calling the aquarium to explain, this bear Haizi.
8. An old man was knocked down by a truck while crossing the street. Everyone was worried, but the old man stood up and patted the dirt on his body. Just as everyone breathed a sigh of relief, the van driver rolled down the window and shouted, bad old man, want to die! No more eyes! The old man froze. He first gave the driver a meaningful look, then slowly sat back on the ground and lay flat.
9. Go home and watch TV with my parents on weekends. Dad stared at me and said meaningfully, why don't I look like my daughter? Nothing like it. Then my mother said: My daughter 2 1. If she doesn't like it, don't delve into it. Play dumb. At least she has a wife and a daughter. If she finds anything, her wife will run away and her daughter will lose me.
10, I have a stomachache and want to throw up today. There is an exam in the afternoon and the teacher is very open to us. Halfway through the exam, I couldn't help throwing up. The teacher came over and said with concern, why, the question is disgusting?
1 1. A group of us went to celebrate the birthday of a female colleague the other day. Just before leaving, a colleague said, today is your birthday. Why are you dressed so casually? She asked: how to wear it? At this time, I don't know what happened to my brain. Suddenly, I said, at least wear a shroud! In an instant, her face turned green.
12, just went to buy water with my colleagues, a bottle of mineral water 1.5 yuan. My colleague took a bottle and gave the boss three tablets. The boss gave him 50 cents change. Hall was called away at that time: I just gave you three dollars! The boss is also angry: MD, you also know that a piece of water is five yuan. Why give me three dollars? Can't you give me two dollars?
13. My sister came to see me today, but she still has to hold my hand and walk around the school. She said, brother, you've been single for too long. Let me help you clean up.
14, yesterday's comprehensive exam, the biology part was more difficult, especially the multiple-choice question. It's really amazing to get half the answer right, but one of the masters in the class chose all the answers. You guessed right, he was cheated. Of course, this is not GC. The basis of GC is: three long and one short choose the shortest, three short and one long choose the longest, two long and two short choose B, and Qi C is invincible. It turns out that this long-standing secret book is true,,, and!
Talk about classic and beautiful excuses.
Tell me about the latest 1. At that moment, we were silent and couldn't remember the happy time, but the traces of sadness were vivid.
2. Everyone is afraid, especially those who cherish their lives but can't keep anything in the end.
3. How many times have you told yourself that you can remember this situation and how many times have you told yourself not to cry for you?
There is a love called letting go, and there is a pain after letting go.
I don't accept garbage, so I can't let you be on call.
6. The most attractive person is Master Kong, who attracts thousands of people every day.
7. It is better to be heartless than to be heartbroken.
8. Don't put pressure on me, it will be my motivation to become your boss.
9. When weeding in the afternoon, nothing depends on the general. It is better to fight the landlord than to have nothing to do.
10. The teacher said: There is no regret medicine in the world, only rat poison.
1 1. If the daughter-in-law is gone, you can find another one. Mom, there is only one.
12. If the teacher didn't say don't litter, I would throw you out.
13. If I win 5 million, I think I'd better donate it to my account.
14. let the storm come more violently and let those who are dating get wet.
15. Without toads, swans would be lonely.
About the classic and beautiful dress, 1. You are calm because you are not afraid of death, and I am calm because I am not afraid of death.
You know how brave I need to dial your number, but did you turn it off?
3. Do you invite others to dinner every time? Actually, I'm starving.
How famous are you? You have made more than 100 movies, and now you are not allowed to broadcast porn.
Dad says handsome men lie, and mom says unattractive men lie. Your father is a good example.
6. Don't think that just because you have Tan Can can cover up the fact that you are an idiot.
7. Look at your ranking and you will know how many people are in your class.
8. Don't tell me you love me. I feel sick after hearing this sentence …
9. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.
10. My figure is actually quite good, fat but not greasy.
1 1. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!
12. There are too many bacteria in the outside world, and I'm afraid I'll get infected as soon as I go out.
13. If you are so rich, why don't you let the mare go?
14. Don't compare people with dogs. Dogs are at least loyal.
15. Life is like a trip, and you may capsize somewhere.
On the classic good-looking posturing, talk about domineering 1. I'm not a straw boat, so don't send your bitch to me.
Tears are the embellishment of happiness, and no one can understand them.
The most painful thing is not to leave you, but to remember after leaving.
4. When I meet someone who has a secret crush in the future, I will think: Forget it, friends are very good, really good.
Happiness is that as long as you hold your right hand, you won't be afraid even if you lose everything.
6. I want to touch my love for smuggled goods, but I'm afraid of getting hurt.
7. The biggest greed in my life is probably: I don't like myself, but I hope you like me.
8. Don't easily open the wound to irrelevant people, because others are watching the fun, but they are hurting themselves.
9. If a person has been immersed in the crowd, he will eventually find himself.
10. Love, just say it out loud, because you never know, tomorrow or accident will come first.
1 1. Actually, I'm always behind you, except when you turn around.
12. If you don't understand my silence, you will never understand what I said.
13. If love wants to come, come and go, and the world will become a sea of tears.
14. Once something is owned, it will depreciate immediately.
15. The pedestrians on the road are very crowded at night.
16. Growth is the process of turning heartbreak into a silent mode.
17. No matter how good the past is, there are more memories and the taste is weak.
18. Personality signature: Will you take me more important than yourself in the future?
19. Do you believe that there will always be a person who silently reads every status of you, but never leaves any comments?
20. From now on, I no longer expect anything, but cherish what I have.
2 1. Just because you've heard of me doesn't mean you know me. Just because you have heard some rumors doesn't mean they are true.
22. You can only vent your emotions here, and then get up as if nothing has happened every day.
23. We are all changing, so there is no need to feel the past.
24. There are no ugly women in the world, only women who can't use Mito Xiu Xiu!
25. Too many people judge a book by its cover, so you may miss true love because you are not good-looking.
Just now, I was thinking about his future over and over again, but now he has nothing to do with me. Do you understand my sadness?
27. The man I remember lives in the old city. He is only a few inches away from me, and he is a little old.
28. Many people don't need to meet again, because they are just passing by. Forgetting is the best memory we can give each other.
29. As beautiful as flowers and jade, it seems like a fleeting time. You can go back, but you can't go back to the beginning.
30. I thought I was afraid of the farewell moment, but I was also afraid of reunion.
Tease classic quotations
1. The reason why flowers are inserted in cow dung is because cow dung has special nutrition.
2, the photo looks good does not mean beautiful, can only say that the shooting angle is very standard.
Thank you for pushing me down from the clouds and letting me see the whole sky clearly.
4. During the onset of intermittent depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out.
He's hers. Let's see who dares to do something illegal. She is hers. See who dares to do bad things.
If you miss me, just give me a call and send me a message. Don't hide it. Actually, I was thinking about you, too.
7. When I am in a panic, I wish you were by my side, slapping me with RMB to calm me down.
8. Who is your mother? I want to ask her why she has so much courage to give birth to you.
9. If your heart can accommodate any man, then my heart can accommodate any woman.
10, you scold, you continue to scold, tell me when you have scolded enough, I'll go to bed first!
1 1, it is said that in front of the person you like, your IQ will get lower. Next time, do I fall in love with homework?
12, you should learn from Tencent, and call me dear as soon as you get online.
13, give me a boat full of women, I can call myself a ghost!
14, head as big as B, born as 2B, even pigs will be ashamed of you.
15, when I said I couldn't afford to get hurt, it was the day your house caught fire.
16, when you played with your heart, your hair turned gray and finally fell into my hands?
17, people who have only seen me once have no right to slander me behind my back.
18, I am a bird, I want to fly, but I can't fly high. Huh? I have no long hair.
19, when my long hair reaches my waist, I will cover my body fat. You should be cold and arrogant, even if you are a tiger's back.
20. You are very creative, and life is full of courage. Ugliness is not your intention, but God is losing his temper.
2 1, people always need to live bravely, and I have to make new wishes, such as learning to bear the loss of love.
22. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.
23. Why didn't your father just beat you to death on the wall?
I haven't finished my homework yet. I have something to do. I have something to do!
25. Time is a butcher knife, but he can't do anything about ugly people.
26. If you want everything, you are shameless. If you eat everything, you will not suffer.
27. If one day, you choose to give up on me, I won't cry, but a stronger smile.
28. They ripped off my clothes severely, and my snow-white chest trembled like Mount Tai.
29. These days, there is no love that never breaks up, only when the hand doesn't hurt.
30. Weigh yourself every time. When you are light, say to yourself: thin. When you are heavy, say to yourself: your chest is big.
3 1, lend me 3 thousand, I can destroy the earth; Lend me three thousand beauties, and I can make another earth.
32. Comparing the anti-freezing ability of people in the north and south, it can be summarized as follows: the anti-freezing figures of people in the south are high, and the anti-freezing equipment of people in the north is high.
33. Love doesn't have so many excuses. If it is not perfect, it can only show that love is not enough.
34. Are there such people around you? He is happy when you are angry!
When I left my hometown, the villagers never drank a well water again.
36. Sometimes I just want to sit next to you and stare at your silhouette with a slight smile. There is nothing extra for each other.
37. I finally know the reason why I am single. Those who like it don't like me, and those who like it don't know.
I won't wait for you for long, because I will come to you.
39. Students who don't want to start school are all good students, which fully proves that they have no puppy love!
40, you haven't fully evolved. It's really hard for you to be an elephant man.
4 1, you are the author of your life, why did you write the script miserably?
42. Hold your head high, throw away snacks, put down your mobile phone, dry your tears, and stop messing with yourself, girl, you still have a future.
43, that who, I love you so much that I don't even want my own feelings.
44. Why do you quarrel? Can't we just sit down and cut each other a few times calmly?
45. Don't think that just because you are black, you can hide the fact that you are an idiot.
46. Congratulations, the signature was published successfully. You can check it in the latest signature.
47. You are stupid enough! You can see a shit fool at a glance!
48. I said to keep a low profile, but you gave me applause and screams.
49. In this weather, I am no longer single dog, but a hot dog.
Girl, don't be silly. The person who loves you the most in the world married your mother.
5 1, if you are handsome, just cut a flat head. Whether it's a beauty or not, you'll know when you take off your makeup.
52. Don't say goodbye, just say goodbye.
53. The road is far and the water is far. I helped you to the wall, but you still fell.
Tell me, do you want to die?
Don't bother to change desks, I can talk to anyone.
If you are tired, the world will give you a hug, but remember to wake up and face everything.
57. Smart people rely on strength in exams, while I generally rely on imagination in exams.
58, after hearing what you said, a sense of superiority in IQ arises spontaneously!
59. I suggest that Japanese women be arrested and put in our male prison.
60. Some people don't think about it in the morning and don't want to sleep at night!
6 1, you engage in art, I engage in you, this is called deep art.
When a man says inner beauty, he means inside the bra, not inside.
You are unhappy because you can be as lazy as a pig, but you can't feel at ease like a pig.
64. My ideal is simple: to have the body of Monkey and live the life of Bajie.
65. Everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but there are countless heartless people.
66. On Valentine's Day, I want to make a fish. You can stew, boil and steam it, and then lie in your tender stomach.
You must not run in this life, otherwise I can't catch up! No problem, I will hold your hand for life!
68. It's not that I can't afford to play, but that I can't afford to lose. It's not that I'm not serious, it's that I'm afraid of being sad.
69, you didn't spoil the word youth, you are in beginning of autumn.
70, Nima, if you are well, see you on a sunny day! If you get well, it will be a bolt from the blue!
7 1, the network is green and red, and the heart of chatting and meeting is getting more and more empty. We met 480 times, and how many dinosaurs were there?
72. Anyway, your smile is my greatest wish.
73. After reading for several years, I can speak well, even people can't speak well. How dare you say you are human?
74, * * forgive me, I thought there was no one across the street, it was too dark!
75. Inviting people to dinner is not a treat, but an anti-corruption.
Honey, will you come to my wedding? What do you care if I don't come?
I like your personality, but I don't like your gender.
78. People who say good night to sleep often show off in an ostentatious manner after half an hour.
79. Even if my heart is the liver and lungs of a donkey, it is enough to feed the dog's stomach.
Don't look in the mirror, neither you nor Xifeng are ugly.
8 1, you slapped me and rubbed my face. Do you think I will forgive you? I can't believe I forgave you.
82. Even if the dream is out of reach, it will come true one day as long as you persist.
83. Ask yourself how many worries you can have, just like a wisp of worries in your heart. It's even more worrying to drown your sorrows in wine, which hurts your body and stomach.
84. If your heart is tired, your tears will dry up. How can you love someone forever?
85. I just saw two flies on the wall carrying on the family line. I put on a pair of slippers to show your love without thinking.
On Compulsory Personality Signature
1, I can't do it. You can only learn to be cruel yourself.
2, Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and men talk a little.
3. I can't guarantee that we can go to the end, but I dare say that you will never leave me!
4, I am not afraid of being looked down upon by others, but I am afraid that I will not live up to expectations!
5, let the storm come more violently, anyway, I sell umbrellas!
Being a handsome person is very tiring, I really know that.
7. Love is like the sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it will run.
8. One flower and one world, one leaf and one pursuit. A song and a sigh, a person's life.
9. Success is a relative term, which will bring you many unrelated relatives.
10, some things don't need to be argued, they seem to be obedient and secretly resist.
1 1, if you want to be so polite to me, I won't be polite!
12. Everything will be fine. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill, but there are countless heartless people.
13, the biggest pain of eating food is that you can only watch others eat.
14, I don't have to laugh to let you know that I am naturally showy.
15, I kept silent with my head down, not being modest, but looking for bricks.
16, what's the point of suffering now for a better future?
17, wear a mask every day, not afraid of prickly heat on your face.
18, don't think I am too heavy. Compared with your love, it is too heavy and as light as a feather.
19, I don't lose my temper, I just don't lose my temper easily.
20. If you don't love it, get out. I hug your thigh, please?
2 1, gently, don't want to disturb you. Unfortunately, I still met a memory that hurt me very much!
22. In my lost heart, you pulled me out of loneliness.
23. The sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come?
24. When I was a child, I was so timid that I could scare myself to cry by putting a P!
25. I thank all the people who fell off the chain when I needed you most.
Sometimes I let go, not because I don't care, but because I don't care.
27. The mine disaster continues in the review, and the rise in property prices is under control!
28. I want to kidnap you with Chinese medicine, but you are cute enough.
29. Damn, the long place is handsome and useful. Can I use my face to swipe my card in the street?
The night gave me a black mouse, but I played with it until dawn.
3 1, don't always kiss up, horses will have hemorrhoids.
32. Memory is not a sign of a person getting old, but repeated memory is.
33. I'm sorry, you are not even qualified to let me take revenge.
34. Let's share weal and woe with * *. In the future, mine is mine and yours is mine.
I hate it when you say you miss me, but you have done nothing.
If you don't like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.
37. It's best not to use your own photos, otherwise it's unlucky to go offline.
38. Youth beckoned to me, but I clung to it.
Don't try to hit me from behind when I'm not looking.
40. When a sow goes up a tree, that's when I fall in love with her.
4 1, I want to see how beautiful you are for a person's face.
42. Standing on the street of a strange city, if I smile, it's me, thinking of you.
43. I am the most honest person. Never lie. Except this sentence.
44. Lost and found. It's always used.
Once the seas run dry and the rocks crumble, it's hard to get together again.
46. Once, we walked together, but now we go our separate ways.
47. Although you are ugly, your mobile phone is good.
48. If you don't have my sadness, don't feel my pain.
49. Not afraid of hooligans with culture, but afraid of perverts with patience.
50. If there is no future, just cherish the present.
5 1, love is a kind of self-abuse; Love without love is a kind of self-harm.
Even if I were a street vendor, I wouldn't work for you, an evil capitalist.
53. Whoever dares to put happiness on my sister, I dare to take my life to stop him from losing it!
54. Compare two fish who is handsome, and the handsome one is tomorrow's dish.
Don't always yell at people who abandon you, because no one belongs to you.
56. Take money to muddle along at school and spend time at work. Life is like this.
57. Violence can't solve problems, but it can ease anger.
58. Who says he is laughing? He must be laughing, but he just doesn't know what to say.
59. Black people don't eat chocolate for fear of biting their hands.
60. Youth is like this. If you miss it, you will regret it, and finally you will learn to cherish it.
6 1, you always make up lies, so I have to cooperate with the performance.
62. A house and a song made me fall asleep and forget my troubles.
Please don't take my gentle appearance as your presumptuous capital in front of me.
64. It is my greatest wish to keep you as my own.
65. After the age of dreaming, it's time to love ML.
66. If you don't expect it, you won't be sad if you lose it, but you will be surprised if you get it.
67. It is blind to cry without children, and it is red to cry with children.
If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner for my coffin, Gree's.
69. The world is more wonderful with you and better without you!
70. Internet speed abused me thousands of times. I'm waiting for the internet speed as my first love!
7 1, airplane, isn't there enough trouble? Fly back quickly.
72. Don't know how to be young and frivolous. All I know is that the winner is king.
73. Some benefits you got when you were young will bear these mistakes when you are old.
74. A good man is sleeping with a girl repeatedly for a lifetime.
75. When you grow up, you are crazy, and you are nostalgic. This is all your own business.
76. I don't regret not meeting at the best time of my youth.
77. I knew it was so difficult to find a boyfriend, so I decided to kiss the doll.
78. I think what you say is fart, and it's gone after that.
79. Draw a heart in the original place to commemorate the dead love.
Teacher, if you ignore the bell again, we will ignore it.
8 1, don't worry about my sense of security, you think I am a special antivirus software.
82. Weather is not as good as geographical location, geographical location is not as good as human harmony, and human harmony is not as good as money.
83. Please stop being infatuated with me. Sister-in-law can't spare me.
84. Real warriors dare to face up to beautiful girls and face bleak singles.
85. Some people say that I am not handsome. I feel bad and feel sorry for him. I went blind at a young age.
86. Mm-hmm, I wish you 7 spaces in your next life.
87. I have never been here at your peak, nor will I leave you at your trough.
88. The subscriber you called is still in the toilet. Please bring him toilet paper later!
Please don't say "hold your hand and grow old with your son" because I want to have black hair.
90. Even if you are already taken, I will use flowers instead of trees.
9 1. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.
92. Love is like an hourglass. Heart full, brain empty!
93. Future son, tell me your father's direction.
94. Only if you hate me can we be strangers.
95. You are a bitch to me, but what are you, a bitch?
96. Country, why don't you take the face to study bulletproof vests?
97. Forgive me for taking the money. I just want to eat all the way.
98. Some things and people I experienced made me gradually learn to pretend.
99, nutrition express, drink a bottle of breakfast, feel distressed all morning.
100, managers usually tell smokers at meetings that smokers are strangled!