In our daily life, study and work, we often encounter many humorous sentences, which can make people feel better and can also be used in personality signature. The following is a collection of humorous phrases and famous sayings.

Signature set of humorous short sentences and famous sayings 1 1. People who really have a sense of humor can laugh, so we laugh with him; It's funny to pretend to be humorous, and we smile at him. Small face makes us laugh, not because he has humor, but because we have humor ourselves. -Qian Zhongshu's Writing on the Edge of Life

2. Hey, North, which way? Did the lady say to walk along the river, along the river or along the bottom of the river? -Red Eye "Star Trek"

3, people don't attack me, I don't attack, if people attack me, I will endure! The last straw! Give him an injection! If a man commits another crime, let him look good!

4. "Even if you are not Harry Potter, I still think you are very proud ~"

That silly cat has really become a fool. For a fish-shaped tree like his favorite, he clung to the other side of the tree and ignored it ~

6. "Comrades who hate rain, if you want to hate it, blame the sunny sun. It is the sun that seeks moisture and reduces fire! "

7. Who would tell someone who loves beauty that dressing up is a crime? But I hope it's not artificial.

8. "I'm not the Monkey King, so I can't travel far!"

9. Will the zebra cross the road first?

10, "I didn't know until I got sick that some doctors had a heavy taste and medicine!"

1 1, mice should be eager to be cats ~

12, it is not difficult to do a good thing, but it is difficult to do it well every day.

13, are we born good or bad?

14, this esophagus has no intestine, and people injected with liver cancer are prone to kidney damage ~

15, I heard that your face is quite thin recently, and it's almost gone?

16, no chatting, no surfing, no hot gambling, no Taobao, no playboy, no meanness ~ ~ ~ I used to be a pig!

17, the sea! It's all water and mountains! How magnificent! Handsome horse! Four legs! Beauty! You are so beautiful! I am willing to be crazy for you, crazy for you, and take off my clothes and play hooligans for you! Crazy for you, uneasy for you, and regretless for your death!

18, he patted me on the shoulder and said, don't be too pessimistic. Who said that when the moon meets the sun, the world will end? Come on! No one will die. I stared at him: What about that day? His mouth twitched, and I said, I'll crush you first.

19, "When I fell in love with a prairie, I turned around and saw wild horses, running wildly ~ ~ soaring ~ ~ and ~ ~ Come on, low ~ ~"

20. Would you like to be my girlfriend? W: Sorry, I have someone I like. Man: Is this true or do you want to refuse my excuse? Woman:,,, Man: Can you think it over? Woman: Excuse me, man: "Can you give me a chance? W: Sorry, I can't. M: Or what do you dislike about me? I can change it! Woman: Is that enough? What do you like about me? I can change it! Man: I like you, but you don't like me. W: Sorry, I don't hate you and I don't like you. Man: I like all of you. Woman:,,,, I tell you, I like women! Man: Damn it, you made me act like a man! Female: (vomiting blood,,, "

2 1, the feeling of long hair: I comb my hair like a monkey, and my hair falls off one by one. When the wind blows, it is like a lion, and the hair is blown to the feet.

22. Life is a meal, and you are just a dish.

23. Love can't be forced, but marriage can. If you dare not love me, I have to marry you. —— Cai Ge 1996

24, can't scold god, don't let god take you to see him.

25, age 22 nightmare 25 is coming. Now ladies have evolved into mature women!

26. "Some beautiful women have grass on their heads, but the one named Tou is super brainless, either retarded or slow, or I am slow!"

27. "Be clear, not letting shoes walk on the ground is equivalent to letting shoes hang themselves with shoelaces ~"

28. Men become sad after falling in love ~ Women become nervous after falling in love ~

29. "The trend is no longer the tight leggings of my mother's era, and the trend of various small styles is no longer the retro clothes of the old days. It cut into the trend of the all-mixed era and was called "out of fashion in the season". The most "new fashion" style is only melee decoration ~

30. "Cold and lonely Liang Shanbo, Zhu Yingtai learned to get to know each other, worshiped righteousness and said that he fell in love with this situation. Don't laugh (,,,Cantonese,,) "

3 1, "Smart pigs can not only climb trees but also get confused ~!"

32. Feathers are not left by birds on purpose ~

33. Smoke is the thread of love, which can make you breathe; Wine is a lover and can be intoxicated at any time. Even the gentlest woman in the world is hard to do. A bloody man has no soul mate, and that kind of loneliness can crush his heart. Only cigarettes and wine can care and soothe the soul.

34. "If you are not sure whether to use a knife and spoon, please change chopsticks!"

35, how to expect is not as good as Changjin Deer.

36. "Tall buildings rise from the ground and there are bases under the ground."

37. There are always people who think they look like tigers' cats!

38. Even the eagle has poor eyesight!

39. One of the scariest things in the world is to watch horror movies with people who are afraid of watching them.

40. It doesn't look good at first glance, but it's better to take a closer look:-)

4 1, if you know that a cart of cabbage was arched by a pig, it is estimated that you also have a problem with that pig. Liu Xiahui

42. I would rather believe in ghosts than women's broken mouths. Liu Xiahui

43, don't wear some shabby clothes, how can I cover up my peerless coquettish? -Liu Xiahui's genius doctor

44. It's dreamy when you don't talk. Everything you say is in your sleep.

45, who, self-respect, is annoying, extraordinary, standing in the annoying forest and not annoying.

46. Several Guan Masters approached me on the road, and I could only see their faces flushed with cold …

47, ordered a meal,,, didn't feel full ~ bought full insurance to make China people thin!

48, true love is innocent and sweet to tooth decay!

49. There are thousands of miles to meet, and there is no chance to take a woman on a blind date.

50. God opened a window, ready to give me wisdom; But god didn't want to give me a good face. He wanted to close a window, so I rushed over. It was too late, and my face hit the window, and it became like this!

Signature set of humorous short sentences and famous sayings 2 1, the way to retreat from heaven successfully and the way to be backward successfully.

2, the authorities are clear, and the onlookers are fascinated.

3. Doing nothing without doing anything, doing nothing without doing anything.

4. All evils come first, and all virtues and filial piety come first.

A woman without physical beauty and spiritual beauty is ugly and unpalatable, while a woman with physical beauty and spiritual beauty is beautiful and delicious.

6. A woman with a beautiful appearance but no beautiful heart looks good, and a woman with a beautiful heart but no beautiful appearance looks good.

7. Benign personality is beneficial, while malignant personality is harmful.

8. One more good friend is a good road, and one more bad friend is a bad road.

9. Go to bed early and get up early, and go to bed late and get up late.

10, a woman who has no money but doesn't do it for money is not credible, but a woman who has money but doesn't do it for money is credible.

1 1, what is missing, what is missing, what is missing.

12, really good people have kindness and kindness, and fake good people have kindness and no kindness.

13, don't be stupid, be smart.

14, you don't know the blessing in the blessing, but you don't know the disaster in the disaster.

15, having money will make you unhappy, and having no money is even more unfortunate.

16. Without a correct goal, you won't succeed; Without the wrong goal, you will not fail.

17, it is easy to do good with more money, but it is difficult to do good with less money.

18, men like beautiful women, and women like lovers.

19, the wish that can be realized is happy, and the wish that cannot be realized is painful.

20. Everyone should go to university, and this university is the university of life.

2 1, the wise man is the master when he suffers, and the fool is the servant when he suffers.

22. The wind blows down the tree and the tree blocks the wind.

23. Women are afraid of hypocrites, while men are afraid of false mothers.

24. The truth that doesn't work is false, and the truth that doesn't work is false.

25. Great wisdom is stupid, and great stupidity is wise.

26. Wisdom and kindness help those who do good deeds to do more good deeds, while stupidity and kindness condone those who do bad deeds to do more bad deeds.

27. Too much to eat, too lazy to walk or think.

28. Men prefer slim women, while women turn a blind eye to slim men.

29. Women regard simple men as naive, while men regard naive women as simple.

30. Courtship is euphemistically called courtship and marriage proposal is euphemistically called marriage proposal.

3 1, the price of diligence is to consume health and energy, and the price of laziness is to waste energy and time.

32. The younger the psychological age, the greater the curiosity.

33. Self-consolation is a preschool for making love, and marriage is a diploma in love.

34. Everything is difficult at the beginning, but difficult in the middle.

What you want is to satisfy your desire, what you don't want is that your desire has been satisfied.

36. It's easy to sit with low sexual desire, but difficult to sit with strong sexual desire.

37. Men don't love women as a tool to vent their desires, and women don't love men as a tool to discourage them.

38. Smart childlike innocence becomes a gift, and stupid childlike innocence becomes a free lunch.

39. Maturity means the end of curiosity, and naivety means the beginning of curiosity.

40. People who look optimistic are not necessarily optimistic, and people who look pessimistic are not necessarily pessimistic.