1. There are two kinds of people in the world that are the most fascinating: one is like me, and the other is like me.

2. I don’t know how people can do it by posting a talk every half a year. If I don’t post a talk for a day, I feel like my talents are nowhere to be used!

3. I feel that Li Shimin is so stupid. If he had eaten Tang Monk instead of sending him to obtain scriptures, we would still be in the prosperous Tang Dynasty now!

4. Jack Ma once said: A man's career and appearance are inversely proportional. I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. It seemed that I was destined to accomplish nothing in my life.

5. What qualifications do men today have to say that they will grow old together with their girls? He was completely bald before his hair turned gray.

6. What is the pain that can be touched? Even though I feel like my stomach is full of hunger, there is still a lump of meat when I touch it.

7. When you have a fever at home, you will continue to surf the Internet. When you sneeze at school, you will think it is late-stage cancer.

8. Checking the dormitory hygiene is a very strange thing. It strips away the meaning of each item. There should be no garbage in the trash can, no hanging things on the hooks, and no things on the table.

9. At our age, you must wear a safety helmet when riding an electric bicycle, otherwise, you will be recognized by classmates driving BMW and Mercedes-Benz.

10. I put a wad of 10 yuan into each of my clothes one by one. I just like to give myself a surprise when I have no money.

11. A friend went to buy a turtle and asked the store: How long can this turtle be kept? The store owner replied: If you raise me well, I can see you through the end of your life...

12. "Why is the mother-in-law more difficult to coax than the girlfriend, who is also a girl?" "Because the mother-in-law has already been fooled once!"< /p>

13. If someone hates me so much that he wants to pay someone to beat me, I want to tell you that if you give me the money, as long as the money is in place, I will even beat me. beat.

14. It is true that ugly people tend to cause mischief, because those who are good-looking are called coquettish if they make trouble unreasonably.

15. One day I went to eat with a buddy and saw the waiter scratching his butt from time to time. My buddy asked: Do you have hemorrhoids? Waiter: Can you order what's on the menu?

16. When I was a child, I liked a poem very much: "I am not surprised by favors or disgrace, just watch the flowers blooming and falling in front of the court." When I grow up, I understand it more deeply. If I also have such a villa with a garden, I will not be surprised by it.

17. The teacher often drags the class, and the students decided to jointly report it, and I was the first to sign! Then the report letter only had my name and more than thirty fingerprints...

18. When I was studying, I didn’t have much money, so I always bought discounted clothes. But after working, it was different. I also bought discounted clothes. Sorry.

19. I haven’t felt the feeling of kissing for so long that even eating a duck tongue will make me feel tender. If you haven't held hands with someone for too long, you will feel trembling even if you pick up pickled pepper chicken feet.

20. The most annoying thing is when people tell me that I have read Journey to the West so many times that I know it by heart. You are so awesome. Can you tell me what the content of the Tightening Curse recited by Tang Monk is?

21. I have discovered that when a boy touches a girl’s head, he usually strokes it down gently along the hair, which is full of tenderness. When a girl touches a boy's head, it's no different than touching a dog.

22. If I meet you, I will spend all my luck. Please stay away from me, I want to save my luck and make money, thank you.

23. Don’t complain that your life is too tiring and too miserable. Like me, I was nothing before, but now it’s different. Even my boss, who is worth tens of millions of dollars, took the initiative to say hello when he saw me: “Hey, waiter, come here”!

24. Growing up, we have always lived in the shadow of the Ma family. We have Ma Huateng when we play games, Jack Ma when we shop, we have toilets when we go to the toilet, we have to be careful of the road when driving, there are mosaics when we watch movies, and we have relationships with each other. To be wary of Ma Su, even if you are looking for a wife, you have to worry about whether she is Ma Rong.