Marx said: Life is inseparable from friendship, but it is not easy to get true friendship.

If you want a long-term relationship, you always need to pay for each other and run in with each other.

After half a lifetime, I realized that the best mode of getting along generally follows a logic:

Respect is the standard, reliability is high, and kindness is the best match.

1

Respect is the standard.

Schiller famously said, "People who don't respect others will not respect him."

Only those who respect others can be respected.

I have read the story of comedian Chaplin.

On a tour, Chaplin met an audience who had admired him for a long time.

The two had a good talk, so the audience invited Chaplin to their home.

The opponent is a baseball fan. He showed Chaplin around his baseball collection room and happily introduced Chaplin to various collections.

Chaplin always smiles and always listens carefully.

After returning home, he immediately contacted a baseball star and asked him to sign his friend's baseball cap.

People around me were surprised because Chaplin was quiet by nature and was not keen on baseball.

Chaplin said, "Although I don't like baseball, my friends do."

This reminds me of a story by writer Bai Xianyong.

For a time, Bai Xianyong's youth version of Peony Pavilion caused a sensation all over the country, and many people were praising and discussing this work.

But his friend Chen Wenxi was not interested at all, so he never mentioned the play in front of Chen Wenxi.

Later, when Chen Wenxi learned about this, he said with emotion, "I am very grateful for this! He can innovate, I can be stubborn, and no one will convince anyone. "

Think of the philosopher Kant's words:

"I respect any independent soul. Although I don't know some of them, I can try my best to understand them. "

In this world, everyone's experience and position are different.

There is no need to seek common ground, but to seek mutual respect.

When dealing with people, the first thing we should do is to give them enough respect.

Respect other people's interests, views and differences.

If you respect others, others will respect you.

Treating each other as equals and respecting each other are the most basic rules of interpersonal communication.

2

High reliability.

I have heard a saying: "If you really want to make friends, you should find reliable people. Smart people can only chat. "

What is reliable?

Someone once made an incisive definition: everything has an explanation, everything has a conclusion and everything has an echo.

Whether a person is worthy of communication and can get along for a long time often depends on his reliability.

I have a cousin in my hometown. He has a friend who runs a decoration company.

Usually this friend is always warm-hearted and friendly to people. He often says that if you need any help, you can come to him.

My cousin's new house was to be renovated last year, so I naturally thought of that friend.

Kan Kan made an agreement with the other party, and soon came up with a design plan. When my cousin saw that it was to his liking, he quickly signed a renovation contract with him and paid a deposit.

When the construction really started, my cousin discovered that this was not the case at all.

It was supposed to ensure the quality of the materials, but the results were all inferior.

Cousin quickly asked him to change it. The man promised no problem, but in fact he put it off.

What should have been completed in three months was finally put off for half a year.

Cousin is also bitter and can't say anything, so she can only secretly eat this dumb loss.

People who are unreliable always attach importance to their promises, but they always do nothing.

In life, there are many such people who just talk about it, but never put it into practice.

When something goes wrong, they just pass the buck and delay as long as possible.

Getting along with such people is not only always scary, but also makes you suffer unnecessary losses.

Writer Chi Li said:

"Reliable, simple to say, complicated to say; It sounds like a feeling and it is a principle to do it. "

A truly reliable person has the ability to reassure people.

In this world, there is never a shortage of smart people, but people who are reliable and practical.

For the rest of your life, you must walk with reliable and practical people.

At the same time, we should always remind ourselves to be a responsible and reliable person.

Only when you are always reliable will you meet friends who are as reliable as you.

three

Kindness is the best match.

I have seen such a news.

This classmate gave a big red envelope of 8888 yuan when she got married, but she received a gift from the other party 13 14 yuan when she got married.

Party Xiao Liu said that he and Chen Mou had a very good relationship when they were at school, and they promised each other a red envelope of 8,888 yuan when they got married.

When Chen Mou got married two years ago, Xiao Liu gave a red envelope as promised.

He said: "This is equivalent to my salary for more than two months, but I think we must honor our promise in order to be worthy of our brotherhood."

As a result, when it was Xiao Liu's turn to hold a wedding, the other party only paid 13 14 yuan with a gift, and even I didn't show up.

After so many years of friendship, it is not worth thousands of dollars in the end.

Xiao Liu recalled their promises in those years, and thought of their efforts in these years was even more chilling.

Since then, his relationship with Chen Mou has gradually alienated.

The maintenance of friendship usually requires equal efforts from both sides. If there is prejudice, even the best mutual affection will fade.

As the saying goes, "It is better to be honest, kind and smart than to care."

People who really care about you will not take advantage of you and will think of you.

I have a colleague, Chuan. When we first met, we once made an appointment to go to the movies together.

When I got home after watching the movie, I found that he transferred 4 1 yuan to me, and the movie ticket was only 25 yuan.

Later, he told me that he bought two cans of coke before he checked in, and 16 was the money he bought these two cans of coke.

From then on, I found that this person is worth making friends with. He doesn't take advantage of others and is especially generous to his friends.

Some people say: "Appreciating a person, starting from the face value, respecting talent, conforming to character, lasting longer than kindness, and finally being a character."

On the long road of life, we will meet many people and know many people.

But only by interacting with people with good character can feelings become deeper and more stable with the precipitation of time.

Get along, rely on fate; Make friends, look at character.

A kind and virtuous person is the one who is most worthy of our lifelong friendship.

Getting along with others is a kind of practice.

Su Qin once wrote:

Stay with people you feel comfortable with. I regard those who can enter my heart as kings, and those who can't, I'm too lazy to elaborate.

In the final analysis, whether people can get along with each other depends first on whether they respect each other; Whether you can make deep friends depends mainly on whether it is reliable; Whether you can go for a long time ultimately depends on your personality.

Short-term communication depends on temperament, and lifelong communication depends on character.

The journey of life is long and tortuous, so we must walk side by side with the right person.