“The fundamental purpose of pilgrimage is to eliminate your sense of self. In the process of walking and climbing, you surrender yourself to the various difficulties and dangers of nature, thereby making yourself empty. So in ancient times, those places of pilgrimage were usually places where a person had to go through all sorts of hardships, both physical and mental, in the process becoming more humble than he thought he was at the moment.”

Kailash, what a sacred name, it took root in my heart several years ago, and I didn’t understand it It is only known to be the center of the world in Buddhism. Tibetans will kowtow around Mount Kailash to wash away their life's sins and increase their blessings. During the years when I was in college in Xinjiang, I became interested in Buddhism. I once carefully observed the murals in the Kizil Thousand Buddha Cave and saw many simple patterns like mountain peaks, surrounded by patterns of the Buddha's Jataka stories. The tour guide It is said that this is a mountain, which is the center of the world in Buddhism. It is called "Sumi Mountain". Mount Kailash is the "Sumi Mountain". Although it is about the same altitude as the surrounding peaks, the snow on the top of the mountain never melts. The sun shines on the top of the mountain, revealing strange colors. The outline of the mountain is symmetrical, and it looks like it is open. A dignified giant Buddha stands in the mountains, with misty clouds hovering above it. People have to associate it with the word "sacred". I heard from Tibetan compatriots that if you circle Kailash Kailash once, you can eliminate sins, and if you circle it 108 times, you will become an immortal and completely wash away the sins of the past and future lives.

My belief in Mount Kailash stems from my respect for Buddhism. It is precisely because of this respect that I decided to see this sacred mountain with my own eyes, and at the same time go around it and experience it. The feeling of turning mountains.

After settling in the hotel for a while, I ate an egg noodle and met a Tibetan girl and her younger boyfriend.

"Are you going to do mountain trekking too? Let's go together. We'll finish the trekking in one day and get up early at 5 o'clock tomorrow." She said to us in a friendly way.

"Okay, let's go together and finish it in one day."

I don't have a complete understanding of the hard work of mountain climbing. The outer circle is 57 kilometers, so my boyfriend and I decided to do it in one day After finishing the transfer, I felt that it was not a difficult task, and the puppy Xixi also walked together.

The night before, we each took 3 altitude pills called "Rhodiola rosea" to prevent high altitude sickness the next day. The next morning, while I was still sleeping, my boyfriend called me I got up, took 3 more Rhodiola rosea pills, and wore four pieces inside and outside. The outermost layer was a raincoat, which was waterproof and windproof. I prepared some simple food and set off with my backpack on my back. I also brought a cane.

The sky was still asleep, we walked forward with flashlights, our footsteps were like crickets, and the puppy Xixi seemed to be quite curious about all this, twisting her buttocks and letting her boyfriend lead her, walking fast with her four calves And frequently. The air on the plateau is cold, and hiking is very physically demanding. After walking for several kilometers, I already felt my breathing becoming short of breath. The mountain was on my right, and the stars were above my head. I walked silently, passing some old people who were walking slowly. The light of the flashlight shone on the clothes of the Tibetan girl accompanying me, and I found that she had changed into a traditional Tibetan robe, holding red beads in her hand, and had begun to turn the beads to chant sutras.

After walking for about ten kilometers, the sky began to lighten slightly. The transition between darkness and light was so natural, and our eyes could see the outline of the surrounding mountains. The mountain is yellow-brown and has different shapes, but it gives people the feeling of "walking in the deep mountains and huge valleys". Mount Kailash is standing on my right side.

The broadening of the field of vision is like the enlightenment of the spirit, giving us novel experiences. Our eyes seem to become clear and transparent in the baptism of nature. Mount Kailash, the icy mountains, the cool air, the snow and ice... The icy water, the wind on the plateau...

Mountaineering is not a journey. Walking on the way makes me feel tired. The cold wind gives me a headache. Everything has just begun. .

When walking, step on the ground firmly. Whether it is soil or stones, the soles of your feet will give people a sense of sensation through the soles. Your legs keep moving forward. Be careful when encountering a downhill slope to avoid falling. If you encounter an uphill slope, move upward and muster your strength. The mountainous road in Mount Kailash is far more than just going up and downhill. We have to walk between knee-high stones. If there is dust under our feet, our bodies will slide down. If we don’t concentrate, we will fall. There is a danger of rolling down the mountain; if there are rocks under your feet, your feet will easily get caught between the rocks, and it will be painful to pull them out. In addition to the above hardships, you also have to resist altitude sickness.

As I walked, I passed many Tibetan compatriots. I stood in front of the prayer flags and clasped my hands devoutly towards Mount Kailash. After walking through a section of the mountain road, Mount Kailash was no longer in front of me. Where did the front lead? ? I saw Tibetan compatriots walking with me on crutches, climbing steep slopes full of rocks one after another. I gritted my teeth and followed, and saw 4 or 5-year-old children walking around with their parents. In the mountains, I see elderly people walking with the support of their relatives, and their dark faces reveal their undivided attention. Does their piety come from Mount Kailash, or does it come from their determination in suffering?

The closer I get to the 5,600-meter pass Zhuomala, the faster my breathing becomes. On the way up, the wind blows in my face, mercilessly, like knives stabbing my face and head. I have a splitting headache, but I can only move. There is no other way. Sometimes I only move two or three steps and then I have to stop and lean on the stone to take a deep breath until I see prayer flags fluttering, vultures spinning overhead, the clothes and clothes of the Tibetan compatriots The hat is tied to the stone, which is also a kind of prayer for them. It is said that this place is not far from the Sky Burial Platform, and vultures fly here. The view of life and death in Tibetan Buddhism seems to be full of the insignificance and fate of human beings in nature.

I climbed up to Dolma La with all my strength, stood among the prayer flags, and looked at the surrounding cliffs with residual snow on them. Looking down, I saw a pool of clear water. This is the center of the sacred mountain. of the holy lake. For a moment, I felt like my soul was coming out of its shell, hoping that the wind on the plateau would take away my soul and leave it in the sky above the prayer flags, blending into the clouds and sky.

The journey down to Zhuomala was very difficult. The descent was almost vertical and there were many rocks. We climbed carefully. When we were tired, we saw Xixi’s four calves flexibly running through the rocks. It's so bulky and bulky that I can't help but envy a puppy.

I thought the way back would be easier, but I never thought it would be a long way back. Our strength was almost exhausted while climbing Dolma La. Only then did Kailash begin to test our endurance. We kept walking until walking became a mechanical movement, my legs were numb, and there was never an end ahead. I started to feel a little discouraged. The Tibetan girl and her little boyfriend had gone far away, and I couldn't keep up with them. . Only my boyfriend has been by my side.

The transition between dusk and day is equally perfect. It is dark, but there is still a winding mountain road ahead, and the wind is still blowing. I don’t know which side of Mount Kailash I am walking on. Mount Kailash has already Blocked by other mountains. The stars are out, but the road is still under our feet.

"I feel like this is a kind of life. People take a road they don't like. They can't see the end, but they still have to go. The feeling of being born and living." I said to myself .

After walking for a few more kilometers, I was exhausted, but the surroundings were still dark. Occasionally, there would be a little light, which was the Tibetan compatriots kowtow. After passing them, we still walked arduously, and some thoughts appeared in my mind. Contrary to my weak physical strength, these thoughts spurted out like spring water along with negative emotions.

"Stupid belief! I am not them, why should I suffer?" I cried.

"I don't believe in any sacred mountains. They come and go, but they are still poor!"

"Why am I so miserable!"

. .....

My boyfriend was silent, just holding my arm, and we hobbled together in the mountains. The four calves of the puppy Xixi seemed to be unable to withstand the long journey. Sometimes he stopped and his legs He was sitting half-sitting on the ground unable to support his hind legs, which made people feel distressed. At that time, I attributed the suffering we were suffering to Kailash.

But where is Mount Kailash? I had no life-saving straw, so I could only walk. After I calmed down a bit, I saw a huge pile of Manis and prayer flags reflected in the night sky. It's so strange.

"Kang Rinpoche, what I said just now were all angry words. Forgive me, it's because I am not strong-willed." I was impressed by this magic and quickly apologized to the sacred mountain. This pile of mani became my last impression of the Holy Mountain. We walked to the exit and staggered in the dark. We didn’t know we had finished the journey around the Holy Mountain until we saw the street lights.

Looking back on Zhuanshan, I did not understand the strong religious beliefs of Buddhists, but Zhuanshan made me reflect on myself, my own stubbornness, my own confusion, my own unreasonableness, and my own insignificance. I seemed to understand something. Mountain climbing was my last practice on the Sichuan-Tibet line.

Where is Mount Kailash? I seem to have the answer now, it turns out to be in my heart. "The fundamental purpose of pilgrimage is to eliminate your sense of self. In the process of walking and climbing, you surrender yourself to the various difficulties and dangers of nature, thereby making yourself empty. Therefore, in ancient times, those who made pilgrimages Land is often a place where one has to go through all sorts of hardships, both physical and mental, and in the process becomes more humble than he thinks he is at the moment.” I understood what Sadhguru was saying.