1. The exam is like a doctor, the first sentence after coming out: I tried my best!

2. If you don’t accept gifts during the holidays this year, you will receive gifts from your daughter. You dare to give with your heart, and I dare to receive with your heart.

3. Don’t wait, your lover will never come, he is a piece of trash who spends all day online eating chicken.

4. Some people say that I am short. It’s really funny. We are not both over one meter, but you are two meters tall?

5. My friend asked me how I would spend Valentine’s Day, and I simply said “skip it.”

6. This summer, when you go out, you have to go into the oven, when you walk, you have Malatang, and when you sit down, you have Teppanyaki. It’s better not to rain, because when it rains, it becomes boiled fish.

7. After working for 5 minutes, my phone became jealous and I coaxed it for two hours.

8. "Is your relationship going smoothly?" "It's very smooth. There's not even a single person on the road."

9. Someone just asked me what brand of lipstick I'm wearing. , I pointed out the way to her, and walked straight ahead. Turn left at the first intersection and go to the Malatang restaurant. Remember to tell the boss to add more chili peppers.

10. When the alarm clock rings every day, 500 reasons for asking for leave appear in my mind, and I don’t want to go to work, but none of them are reliable.

11. Losing weight is not that easy. Every pound of meat has its own temperament. After the age of not losing weight, it is better to give up if you struggle.

12. I can’t find it everywhere, and I still lament the small waist I had back then. There is no spare time for hatred, and a body full of fat! Boss, another basket of steamed buns!

13. The four major tragedies in life: only one drop of rain after a long drought; meeting an old friend and creditor in a foreign land; the night of flowers and candles in the wedding room next door; the time when the gold medal was named, it was a dream.

14. When I was young, I would yell and make a fuss when something went wrong, for fear that others would not know. In fact, I just wanted to show off, and there was nothing wrong with me.

15. Eating hotpot alone is the highest state of loneliness, is it true? The master replied: Fake! Because when I was lonely, I played mahjong by myself!

16. When I chase you, I call you baby, when I get you, I call you baby, when I’m happy, I call you wife, when I’m arguing, I call you crazy, when I’m angry, I call you a jerk, when I’m irritable, I call you Don't worry, this is a man, so vivid and vivid.

17. When I was fat, I didn’t dislike the people who were kind to me. I wrote them all down in a notebook. When I lose weight, I will repay you well.

18. Some people review like Confucius reviewing the past and learning new things; some people review like Nuwa patching up the sky; I review like Columbus discovering the New World.

19. It is inevitable to have regrets in life. The biggest regret in my life is that I cannot kiss my own face.

20. When comforting others, you only want to find a rope.

21. Come hang with me. If I have a bite to eat, you will have a bowl to wash.

22. I wish everything was as simple as gaining weight.

23. After searching for her for thousands of times, I suddenly looked back and saw that person was at the marriage registration office.

24. Be strong. Failure is also a part of success. Wherever you fall, you will blackmail others.