35。 Although the famous flowers are taken, I will loosen the soil! It is difficult for rich people to have no money!
36。 During the dinner, the headmaster insisted that I find some female classmates to accompany me, but as a teacher, how can I do such an unnatural thing? I came to the hall outside anxiously and saw several young ladies sitting on the stage, looking very young. So I asked them to come with me, and the Taiwan Province fee doubled as usual. The only requirement is that they must say from beginning to end that they are students of the Film Academy. Unexpectedly, several young ladies burst into tears with joy: "Big Brother, you really found the right person. We are from the Film Academy! ! ! "
37。 What is passion? Do I have to wear TNT to engage in terrorist activities around the world or hijack an Air China plane with a knife in my pocket? ! !
38。 I want to be an emperor, but I'm afraid of verbosity; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; Afraid of getting into trouble, I really want to beat you up.
39。 I finally know how to calculate the probability of "30% precipitation tomorrow" during my internship at the Meteorological Observatory ~ The director found ten people in the office and asked, "Please raise your hand if you agree that it will rain tomorrow". As a result, three people raised their hands …
40。 A woman insulted the honor of a man's mother with a physiological function that she didn't have.
4 1。 Busy, sleepy and helpless, I decided to jump off a building.
42。 It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you!
43。 It is not difficult for a person to make mistakes, but it is difficult to make mistakes all his life and never correct them.
44。 Listening to you saved me ten books. I thought I was decadent, but I was scrapped!
45。 Everyone wants to be smart when adopting a son, and I have been delayed by being smart all my life. What is love in the world? The sage replied, "Waste!"
46。 Life is nothing more than making others smile and occasionally smiling at others.
47。 On the day Hou Yi was shot, Chang 'e said, "I feel sick every day!" " So the last sun was saved. ...
48。 I love eating apples, and I like eating them slowly, because I am afraid of choking, but if there is no prince to save me, the play can't be performed. So I have to turn a blind eye, or what should I do if I am kissed by a pig?
49。 What did you do to sex? Who did you mate with? Yuanyang played with water, and all his mother drowned; Fly with me, you fucking fell dead.
50。 Women's affairs are mostly small things, and brothers' affairs are big things.
5 1。 There is no TV in our village, so we haven't seen anything. I used to have schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.
52。 The real meaning of the iron rice bowl is not to eat in one place for a lifetime, but to eat in every place for a lifetime. ...
53。 Night arrival, walking in the campus of Xi Jiaotong University, watching the girls coming and going around one after another, I was filled with emotion: "Dinosaurs are not extinct yet! Dinosaurs still rule this era! ! "
54。 Did you watch King Kong without crying? I don't think so ~ but if it's a female king kong and a handsome guy, I don't think anyone will cry at all
55。 "Don't wear underwear slippers into the classroom!" To tell the truth, even after four years in Nanyou, I am not so thick as to enter the classroom without underwear. ...
56。 Speak from the bottom of my heart: commitment is like "mom", but it is difficult to do it if you talk too much!
57。 The night gave me black eyes, but I used them to turn my eyes ... love is light love; Love is deep love!
58。 I am willing to do anything for my friends, and I am also willing to do anything for my friends and MM!
59。 We always habitually think that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don't forget who made this judgment.
60。 We should keep quiet when listening to the sermon in the church. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.
6 1。 These are not rubbish! I collect antiques! Of course, you can throw it away if you don't like it.
62。 Artificial intelligence cannot be compared with the stupidity of nature-because we advocate pure nature.
63。 If a person still laughs freely in the face of criticism, then he may have found a scapegoat.
64。 I signed up for a weight-loss training class yesterday, and they asked me to wear loose clothes when training. How dare you? If there are still loose clothes, then why should I sign up?
65。 When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat.
66。 After eating, we discussed the problem of hunger. It is suggested that chastity be discussed at the next party. I can't wait.
67。 All men are created equal, except those who get married.
68。 Yesterday, according to the latest research by scientists, 100 people took part in the experiment. After drinking 20 bottles of beer, everyone becomes extremely talkative but lacks logic, prone to crying and irritability, impulsive, driving skills decline and weight gain. So scientists have come to the conclusion that beer contains trace amounts of estrogen!
69。 Don't wash it, but for the mud, this broken car would have fallen apart.
70。 In the past, when the alarm clock rang, I often had the problem of patting it before going back to sleep, but since I put three mousetraps next to the alarm clock, my problem has been eradicated.
7 1。 I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. Friends call it "confidence".
72。 The Association for the Blind sincerely advises you: Never drink and drive.
73。 I think I should go to lose weight. Last time I donated blood, I actually shed a hundred milliliters of lard.
74。 Experiment with two bugs. The one in the whiskey died, which proves that there are no bugs in the stomach when drinking whiskey.
75。 Women don't care about decency, decency is because they are not attractive enough; Men don't care about loyalty. Loyalty is because the chips of betrayal are too low.
76。 I pretended to work for my boss, who pretended to pay me. My wife and I haven't spoken for 18 months, so I haven't had a chance to interrupt her.
77。 Two college students are chatting in a bar. What do you do? B: Writing. "What to write? Where to vote? B: Write a letter-ask for money from home!
78。 Have you heard the story "The big pig said yes, but the little pig said no"?
79。 I never watch TV. I just often check whether the TV programs in the newspaper are misprinted.
80。 College students always like new and exciting things. For example, in playing cards, the loser will shout "I am a pig" or hold a telephone pole and shout "My illness is saved". You see how creative Shantou University is-playing cards in the dormitory, whoever loses will go to the back hill alone in the middle of the night to copy the inscriptions of ten tombstones! The most terrible thing is that the next morning everyone went up the mountain to find a tombstone to proofread! !
8 1。 God lied to everyone, because hell is the most beautiful! The Buddha knew the truth, so the Buddha said, "If I don't go to hell, who will?"
82。 I don't know whose wife is in my bed, and neither does my wife!
83。 The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet, went in, and went out to know everything. ..... efforts will have results, but not necessarily good results. ...
84。 In the internet world, your girlfriend may be a man and your boyfriend may be a woman, which is very painful, but you have to accept it.
85。 Is it easy for men? Men eat out to save money for their families, play cards outside to save electricity for their families, sauna outside to save water for their families, and sleep outside to give birth control to their families! In a word, people are trying to build an economical society. ...
86。 Marriage is the grave of love ―― if you don't have a house, you can't even get into the grave! The problem of appearance will also affect the interpersonal relationship of girls' dormitory to a certain extent.
87。 Many female stars are not popular because they don't open their legs. ...
88。 My name is God, my nickname is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata. ...
89。 Two seemingly happy things in a man's life are actually very painful ―― getting married and having children; Two things that seem painful in a man's life are actually very happy-(shielded here), shit!
90。 The current housing prices are like Lin Chi-ling's breasts-they look firm, but they are actually full of bubbles!
9 1。 I am not a casual person, but I am not a casual person.
92。 Don't treat animals that are still dead after bleeding for a week lightly. ...
93。 Women remember: be sure to eat, play, sleep and drink well. Once exhausted, other women spend our money, live in our rooms, sleep with our husbands, pick up our boyfriends and beat our babies.
94。 Usually, a woman always remembers the man who made her laugh, while a man always remembers the woman who made him cry; But the result is often that a woman is with a man who makes her cry, and a man leaves a woman who makes him laugh. ...
95。 Never trust a woman who tells her real age. Such a woman will say anything.
96。 Men never worry about their future until they find a wife; A woman often worries about her future until she finds a husband. The secret of a man's longevity: eat food that his stomach can digest and marry a woman that he can support.
97。 The three most painful things for men: being caught by a lover to accompany his wife to buy food; Caught by his wife shopping with sympathizers; Trapped in an alley by his wife and lover at the same time.
98。 Love is like a shell on the beach-don't pick the biggest one, don't pick the most beautiful one, if you do, pick the one you like best, and you will never go to the beach again. ...
99。 What have you been up to recently? B: I'm engaged in academics recently! A: who is an academic?
100。 You can meet your lover in the moonlight, and you must meet your life partner in the sun. Dogs eat mice not necessarily because they are nosy, but because they are re-employed.