People in northern Shaanxi are hospitable and have a long history, and are famous all over the country.
No matter how remote the mountain village is, no matter how poor the family is, they attach great importance to the portal of mankind. Whoever treats the guests badly will be scolded by relatives and neighbors. The "human portal" is an important indicator for people in northern Shaanxi to evaluate a person's quality, and sometimes it can also play the role of "one-vote veto". No matter how good your life is and how big your official position is, as long as there is no "human portal", people will look down on you and say that you "close the door to eat and open the door, like an animal."
As long as the guests come, whether they are close relatives, strange neighbors, direct friends or indirect relationships; No matter whether you are an official, a brick mover, a congratulatory or a debt collector, as long as you enter the door, they are busy. The first sentence is to ask you to "sit on the kang". If the host is eating, he will immediately let you go to the most distinguished place and give you the best meal; If you are not eating, the host will put you on the kang and bring you a cup of green tea, a cigarette, and the basket of green cucumbers, red apples, yellow pears and purple grapes in front of you. While you were chatting with your host, the hostess quietly went to cook for you. Before long, a bowl of "chopped buckwheat noodles" or "white noodles" was filled with plates and bowls.
The aunts in northern Shaanxi are all good cooks. A kind of food, they can make many kinds of patterns; They can make different flavors of the same meal. When cooking noodles, they can not only knead the noodles tightly, roll them evenly, chop them finely and make the soup fresh, but also put the auxiliary side dishes such as garlic, leek, sauerkraut, lobster sauce, pepper and persimmon on a plate. You can put a lot of oil cups, sauce bowls, vinegar pots, garlic dishes, salt bowls and sugar bottles, which will make people's stomachs open and their appetite increase greatly. When cooking meat, large pieces of stew and small pieces of rotten meat are just as good-looking and delicious. As for the well-prepared New Year's tea and rice, the "thirteen flowers" for weddings and funerals are even worse in hotels, and chefs can't do it. When you eat with relish, don't forget to watch your rice bowl, because the host is afraid that you won't dare to eat, and will add rice to your bowl when you are unprepared. One plus is not less. If you don't pay attention, you can't stand up straight after dinner.
People in northern Shaanxi are sincere in hospitality. When guests come, they always choose the best food for them and the best bowls and chopsticks for them. When a guest comes in, he will never ask if you have eaten. In their view, this is called "treating guests to kill chickens", which is a polite expression. Simple people in northern Shaanxi disdain to make polite remarks. They not only don't say it themselves, but also object to others saying who does it, and they will laugh at, despise and even despise anyone, thinking that such people are "open-minded" and "lip service". When cooking, they pay attention to "having food to see". It is estimated that one bowl can be eaten, and the host should prepare at least two bowls, preferring to have enough food left over. If there is not enough food, the owner will think that he has lost someone, and others will laugh at himself for "cutting the mat compared with his ass."
People in northern Shaanxi are also particular about accompanying people when they treat them to dinner. Generally speaking, choose the oldest person in the family to accompany you. Men accompany men, women accompany women, and family members are inconvenient. Please ask suitable people in the village to accompany them. This is not affectation, but courtesy, which reflects the sincerity of the host and respect for the guests.
People in northern Shaanxi live scattered, with dozens of households in big villages and only a dozen or even a few households in small villages, and most of them are relatives. Often when a person arrives at a family, he becomes a guest of the whole village. Everyone is competing for an invitation, and you have to eat one meal after another, one meal after another. If you treat people in the first month, during festivals, when especially distinguished guests come, it will be a robbery. Guests must keep an eye on their sleeves and be careful that "the sleeves of the coat are torn". In this case, adults will not come forward, and most of the guests are broken-headed dolls. This is not disrespectful to guests, but the earliest invitation to guests.
Often guests eat in a restaurant, and the edge of the kang is crowded with children who come to treat them. They eagerly watch you eat and lean against the edge of the kang for fear that other children will be crowded in front. As soon as the guests put down their jobs, they swarmed, scrambling and pandering. The older children hold hands and pull hard, while the younger children hold their legs and pull hard, like robbing people. Once the guest was robbed, the rest of the children followed the guest to the house, huddled in front of the kang, watching you eat eagerly and preparing for the next round of "competition."
Every time I treat you, there will be children crying. Boys cry with their legs on the ground, while girls hide in the corner and cry with their mouths covered. This kind of crying is not easy to persuade, you say, he ignores it; If you pull, he won't move. The only way is to let the guests follow him. As soon as the guests are invited, they will smile through tears, like jumping rabbits, with a proud look on their faces.
If children's treat is a comedy, adults' treat is much heavier Families without children are either single or widowed, or elderly people without children. They always invite them last, because they can't compare with those children. They followed the guests from door to door, but they didn't come in. Men sit on the millstone and smoke, women lean against the courtyard wall to get their soles, and the old man sits on the road and waits, wiping his tears while waiting. The meals of these families are relatively simple, but the cooking process is surprisingly complicated, but the guests enjoy no less respect and respect here than anywhere else. You will see widows burning leaves as firewood, and smoke will make them burst into tears; You will see that bachelors are all thumbs in cooking and are seriously shocked; You will see the hobbling gait of lonely old people when they bring you food; You will also see the expression of hard work when a childless wife smiles at you. You will be shrouded in that kind of affectionate and clumsy respect, and you don't know what you have eaten. You just think this is your relative, closer than your relative.
In the impression of outsiders, it is impolite for people in northern Shaanxi to drink large bowls of wine and eat large pieces of meat, especially drinking. In fact, this understanding is wrong. People in northern Shaanxi drink not only rudely, but also gracefully and moderately. They drink with glasses instead of glasses; Pour wine without a bottle, use a pot; There is a saying called a toast. Seeing a glass of wine is stressful, and if you don't drink it, you will be unhappy. People say that drinking in a big bowl is home-brewed by people in northern Shaanxi. Among the farmers in northern Shaanxi, each family has at least one jar of wine, which is an out-and-out pure grain green food. This wine smells good and tastes sweet, but it is strong. A match can light a fire, and foreign guests will be poured down by this wine if they are not careful. This kind of wine is usually drunk with white wine, and guests are served only after drinking almost.
As long as there are wine stalls, the atmosphere will be strong. The old man is carrying it, the wife is holding it, the son is respectful, and the daughter-in-law is watching. The brain-dead doll tried to convince it. I really can't advise you to go on. The hostess stood in front of you, rolling her arms and singing wine songs. Drinking and drinking, you will be moved by their enthusiasm and intoxicated by this thick culture. I don't know when you were drunk or who you are. At this time, the hostess began to clean up the wine stall, and the man took out the new bedding that he usually couldn't bear to cover you, and he was happy. What are you happy about? First, I feel that I am good to my guests, and second, I feel that my guests are more practical. With the development of the times, the life of people in northern Shaanxi has undergone fundamental changes, except for one thing, that is, the habit of hospitality that has lasted for thousands of years.
Shanbei people who eat steel and bite iron
People in northern Shaanxi are very distinctive. Walking is like charging, working is like fighting, talking is like quarreling, and inviting people to dinner is like kidnapping. But these are superficial phenomena, and the most essential feature is deep.
People in northern Shaanxi do things "residual fire". "Sing what you do and type what you do", just don't do it, and go all out as soon as you do it. "Let the cow die, it is better to let the carriage turn over." Set a high goal before you do something and stick to "1 10" instead of "99". "I stepped here, and I didn't grow grass for three years"! When planning, "the front is not tight", I plan to walk 100 miles every day, and I must walk 70 miles before noon, for fear of unexpected changes and accidents. When you do things, you "wrap it in your head" and have a certain goal. You always keep it in your heart, pay attention to it everywhere, leave when you see it, and run when you leave. Toughness when encountering difficulties, I retired 99 times and rushed up again 10 1 time. The greater the difficulty, the more tenacious I am. I was working hard, and I was fighting. "I insist on fighting for this tone!"
Honest and frank, from northern Shaanxi. When I meet a person for the first time, you name one and I believe one; You say two, I believe two. You have to coax him, look down on you once, ignore you twice, and after three times, you will chase him and ignore his pig wretched and mule foal! Once identified as a friend, not only will you stay in never say goodbye forever, but your children will also call you "Gan Da". The motto of people in northern Shaanxi is: "Give someone a calf and you can save a lamb yourself". You have the ability to boast everywhere and turn you into a flower; If you are in trouble, he will try his best to help you, and he will give you a ride when you get on the horse. If you are arrogant, he won't take the initiative to come to you, for fear of causing you trouble, and for fear that you will underestimate him. If you really look down on him, he will look down on you even more, and you can't step down for the first time. "Wolves eat mountain gods"-everyone dares to win the emperor.
People in northern Shaanxi are scattered. Later generations are sad to dig cliffs, the old people are sad to sing sermons, and others are even more worried. "The poor are happy and the rich are sad, and the bitter are afraid of not singing." . It seems that they are all poor people, and when they go out, they all sing "wow, wow". The sky has its own roof, and they will never suffer themselves. They like humor. They drank a bowl of boiled water and got an onion. They also boasted that they had eaten a big dish called "Dragon Crossing the River". Even when he got up to beg, he said happily, "The baby is on his back and his wife is tied to his belt." Where there are people from northern Shaanxi, there will be crisp laughter and loud singing.
People in northern Shaanxi "hold a group". The village holds a group, the county holds a group, and goes out to hold a group. Wherever you go, as soon as you hear that you have a northern Shaanxi accent, your face immediately changes shape and kisses you with a smile; No matter how big an official is, as soon as he hears that he is from northern Shaanxi, he will immediately close the distance and be as sincere as a brother. This group has gone too far. Sometimes it doesn't recognize money and people, and even only recognizes fellow villagers without management. Our own people made an urn, which was useful from top to bottom. The top can be connected to a chimney and the bottom can be used as a urinal.
People in northern Shaanxi are honest. They value feelings and face, and would rather lose money than lose it. No matter where people come from, they don't spend money to eat in the rural areas of northern Shaanxi, and they all treat you as a guest. If you insist on following the "market rules" and want to earn money and eat in the farmhouse, you will not only have no food to eat, but also have a great possibility of losing money: young people will squint at you and think you are a "raw gourd"; Older people will definitely ask you, "Who do you take me for?"
People in northern Shaanxi are "slow and steady" and don't make public. Very capable, say five points at most, or even say nothing. If you praise his children, he will answer you: "This blind thing doesn't live up to expectations at all"; If you praise her handsome, she will reply "ugly to pain"; When you praise them for their quick brains, they always say, "Stop joking, I'm so stupid." . This is not inferiority, it is wit, it is introversion, it is a requirement for yourself, and it is courtesy to the questioner. The real rich man can't see "he walks slowly in rags, and the bill in his waist is always open", "there is a felt film hanging on the door and a steaming oil roll in the pot"; You can't see the real able man either. The cat hunched its back and shrank its sleeves, and someone pulled over. Don't spit in his face if it's a small matter of right and wrong. If it's a big matter of right and wrong, you'll be "prostrate" in one sentence.
To know how people in northern Shaanxi eat steel and bite iron, you'd better live in northern Shaanxi for a few days.
Northern Shaanxi is called a matchmaker.
As soon as the winter comes, the matchmakers in northern Shaanxi are busy and everywhere. These people are talkative, hardworking, highly respected, unique in vision, and can suffer losses. Without these efforts, they can't do this business. Because of poor eloquence, lack of motivation, lazy legs and feet are easy to miss opportunities, poor eyesight, low prestige, no one listens, people who are afraid of losing money, restless, impatient and can't stand splints. Third-rate business must be done by third-rate people.
These people are very distinctive. You can recognize them as matchmakers at a glance and feel how far this media has gone.
The matchmaker who just accepted the commission is like a scout, walking around and checking everywhere. It's really a "party-to-party", and whoever has a wedding is even more uninvited. Not afraid of help, not afraid of giving gifts to raise money, not afraid of being left out, not afraid of being ignored. They are all masters of gossip. Needless to say, relatives and acquaintances are strangers who have never seen each other for eight generations. Just like intimate friends, the heart is like running water. As soon as the other party is happy, they say that the matchmaker took the opportunity to enter, followed the trend and steadily entered the theme.
Their theme is not static, but changes according to needs. If you accept the entrustment of the man, you will ask who has unmarried girls. If you accept the entrustment of the woman, you will ask where there are unmarried boys. However, there are not many such singles. More often, girls and boys interrogate each other together, because he is not entrusted by one family, but by both men and women. Once you find the object, you will have a deeper understanding: where is the ancestral home of this family and where is the uncle's home; How to be a man and how to do things; All generations should ask clearly, and the roots should also be clarified. The former is to know its roots, and the latter is to know its actions. The key to understanding the roots is to see if there is any body odor and anger at home, and whether the ancestors have blown it up; The key to understanding personality is to see if anyone in the family is a thief and marries Han, and if I have stolen the chicken and wasted the rice.
All this is clear, even if the reconnaissance stage is completed, so "golden flowers with silver flowers, zucchini with pumpkin", draw a rough outline first, establish a basic scope, and then start lobbying separately.
After entering the lobbying stage, he became a propagandist again, getting up all day and saying nothing but praising others. Praise men and women, praise men and women. When the two families arrive together, they praise each other. When you meet your parents, praise them for their suitability, and when you meet them, praise them for their perfect appearance. Tell the woman that the man is a shopkeeper who is hard to find with lanterns, and tell the man that if he misses this village, there will be no shop. Really, that is to say, if you look good, you will praise Peugeot; if you look bad, you will praise the situation; if you look bad, you will make great efforts to praise your roots, strength, ability and filial piety. It was praised that both families moved their hearts and let the two young people know each other.
Meeting is a blind date, and the location is decided by the victim and the matchmaker. Some are at the woman's house, some are at the market and temple fair, some are at nearby restaurants, and some are at friends' houses, depending on the distance between the two parties and the family situation. When meeting at the woman's house, the man usually only goes on blind dates, but in other places, there are many participants in the two families, including young men and women themselves, parents of both sides, and their most trusted relatives, but in any case, the matchmaker is indispensable.
The purpose of meeting is to have a look at each other, listen to the dialogue, and test whether the IQ is high or not and the personality is good; Observe whether there is stuttering or baldness, listen carefully to whether there is an arrogant person, guess how the future object can be smart and understand each other's situation and popularity. People who watch are more serious than one, and people who listen are more careful than one, for fear of missing a detail and affecting themselves or their loved ones for a lifetime. Once both men and women have no opinions and both adults are satisfied, the matchmaker will let the two young people exchange gifts to form a "handle" and the two adults will set the engagement date.
The so-called betrothal mainly depends on the number of "bride price". Generally speaking, the woman's family wants more, the man's family gives less, and the matchmaker will coordinate in the middle. When you meet a reasonable person, both families are happy to get married. It doesn't matter who wants more and who gives less, but when it comes to cruel parents of women and stingy parents of men, it's hard to say for matchmakers. First of all, both sides say good things and fall in love everywhere, until all good things don't work, they begin to "bully the weak and be afraid of the hard." While scolding the woman's father for selling his daughter as something, how can he meet his relatives when he is married? On the other hand, he called the man's father "ashamed of his ancestors" and didn't lose money or make money. Under normal circumstances, the main leaders of the two companies will make concessions and things will be settled. If you don't give in, two young men and women will stand up and speak. The girl begged her future father-in-law to make way. It is not easy for her parents to raise her. She can make up for it by lowering the standard on other conditions. The young man always advised his father to pay more, and later he would earn money to pay off the debts he owed. At this time, if anyone disagrees, it is simply unreasonable.
The hardest thing to say is the "discussion" before Hershey's marriage (parents and matchmakers of both sides discuss the matters that the couple need to get married before going through the marriage formalities). At this time, the problem is not others, but the bride herself. They all come with their mouths open, asking for something new and expensive. You need watches and electrical appliances in your early years, and gold and silver jewelry in your later years. Later, it became a cave motorcycle, and today it has become an automobile building. Their background is very complicated, and many times it is not their intention. Some are ideas given by parents, some are senior consultants made by sister-in-law, and even more bizarre is that the groom is behind the scenes-the more men and brothers, the easier it is to appear. Why? Both of them are for the sake of their small families in the future. This situation can best test the matchmaker, not only his wisdom, but also his resilience. To put it bluntly, the matchmaker can hold two houses and get it done with one fire; Inexperienced or incompetent people say that the matchmaker will be miserable and he will run back and forth on both sides like a twisted rope. It's really "a piece of meat and two stones". I wonder how much leisure he will have.
It is said that the most beautiful time for a matchmaker is the wedding day. On this day, the woman invited the man and both sides were very polite to him. The guest is the first guest, the gift is the main gift (only the gift is free), the seat is the first tent seat, and the seat is the main table seat. Everyone spoke very well and was praised everywhere. The manager praised him: Qingshan can't run out, and a pair of marriages say success, and you have to accept the quilt cover wedding wine prepared by the victim; The victim thanked him: he found a good boss for the children and made good relatives for the adults. This pig's trotters, leg of lamb and New Year's tea and rice is a token of his appreciation. Relatives who came in a hurry praised him for his high vision and good eloquence. You can make such a suitable marriage.
Unfortunately, this kind of scenery is always short-lived. Both men and women have a good marriage life, and no one can remember the matchmaker; But life is not good. My first complaint is him: I don't complain about the sky, I don't complain about the ground, I just complain about the matchmaker's mouth. Be rational. Although you complain in your heart, you don't say anything. When you meet those confused aunts, as long as you quarrel with your family, the first program is to scold the matchmaker, and so will your ancestors. This kind of thing has not only happened in recent years, but has existed since ancient times. There are many songs that scold the matchmaker in the folk songs of northern Shaanxi, which is the best evidence.
Nevertheless, those who talk about matchmakers still enjoy it, and the traditional virtues left over for thousands of years can only be continued by them.