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What are the opening slogans of funny sketches?
1. Being your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often give you trouble. I really don't know how to repay you.

You ... so ... be cattle and horses in your next life ... I will definitely pull up grass for you to eat. ...

I miss you very much, but I'm sorry to call you. I'm afraid you're busy, ignore me and think I'm harassing you. Really.

I'd love to contact you, but … the phone bill is really expensive. Please call me!

Old guerrilla

If you are a meteor, I will chase you; if you are a satellite, I will wait for you; if you are a star, I will fall in love.

Unfortunately, it's you ... you're an orangutan ~ I can only see you in the zoo! ! Oh, what a pity! !

Now I'm confused ... I don't know what I'm thinking ... My mind is bored to death ... I really don't know what to do.

Do it. ... can you tell me ... I really don't know whether to eat Regan Noodles or Ah Q bucket noodles!

Old guerrilla

Thank you for being by my side when I was most frustrated and giving me a helping hand when I needed help most. There are thousands of words.

I just want to tell you: "since I met you, nothing good has happened!" You are a loser! 」

Old guerrilla

6. I'm sorry to send you a message so late ~ ~ If it bothers you ~ ~ I came to tell you ~ ~

Serves you right ~ ~ Who told you to go to bed earlier than me ~ ~ ~ Hehe! !

7. Meeting you is my inner desire to fall in love with you. Having you is my happy choice. This is my most precious wealth. It is the eternal motivation for me to love forever. It is your regret that I sent it to the wrong person.

8. Because of you, I believe that fate may be predestined and pull us together in some way.

Now, I really want to say … what evil did I do in my last life!

9. Starting from tomorrow, the city has decided to eliminate all the mentally retarded young people who are ugly and detrimental to the city appearance!

Hurry up and pack your things, go out and take shelter, and don't tell anyone that I informed you, remember! You're welcome.

10. God saw your desire and created water; God saw that you were hungry and created rice. God saw that you had no lovely friends and created me; However, he also saw that there is no idiot in this world and created you by the way.

1 1. If it is stipulated that a person can only be kind to one person in his life, I would rather that person be you. Till death do us part, I have no regrets! But there are no rules ... then forget it!

12. It is a happy thing to miss you! Nice to meet you! Loving you is what I will always do! Keeping you in mind is what I have been doing! But I lied to you, and it just happened! Ha ha!

13. The phone is ringing, which means I am thinking of you! Two voices mean I like you! Three voices mean I love you!

When the seventh sound rings … damn it, I really need to talk to you, so don't answer the phone!

14. According to statistics, more than 99.9% people who look like pig heads use thumb buttons to read short messages! Hey, hey, don't change hands, it's too late. Pig head! hahaha

15. I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away; I wrote your name on the beach, but it was washed away by the sea; I wrote your name in every corner … fuck, I was taken away by the police!

16. If it's a mistake to look good … then I'm all wet. If loveliness is a crime ... I have committed a heinous crime.

It's hard to be a man! ... you'll be fine ~ Yes, you're not guilty ... I envy you.

17. When the white clouds float by, it is the trace that I miss you; That's how I miss you when the sun shines. When the rain falls, it is proof that I miss you. When it thundered, that's when I prayed to heaven that you were hit ... haha-

18. If incense burned for one year can meet you, incense burned for three years can know you, and incense burned for ten years can cherish you.

For the happiness of my next life, I am willing to ... convert to Christianity. ..

19. Are your fingers itchy? That means I miss your caress; Does your lips itch? That means I miss your kiss; Are you itchy ... that means you are dirty, so take a shower!

20. It is a gust of wind, but it is so eternal; This is a dream, but it is so real; You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. Finally, I can't help but say to you, "let me know before farting!" "

2 1. In the middle of the night, there is no light in the toilet. You go to relieve yourself, fall into the toilet, fight with maggots, fight with shit, and no one saves you. You die heroically, live great and die silently. In memory of you, the toilet is equipped with lights!

22. When you smile, the wolf will hang himself. When you scream, the chicken flies and the dog jumps. When it stopped, it smelled bad. When sweating, lice are infested, and if you don't dress up, you are uglier than a ghost. When you dress up, you kneel down and become paralyzed.

23. You have a peony-like appearance, a plum-like tenacity, a lotus-like pure heart, a peach-like sweet smile and a sunflower-like charm of Leng Yan. I look left and right, you are a sex maniac!

24. After eighty-one difficulties, the Tang Priest's master and apprentice achieved positive results. Sanzang drives and Wukong sells pots. Friar Sand is a big man and has become a model. The remaining one, Pig Bajie, walked into the mobile phone. Still laughing!

25. Today, I met an idiot. I said, idiot, are you stupid? Idiot said: not stupid. I said, idiot, can you? Idiot said: ok. I said: will the idiot receive my message and not finish reading it? Idiot read my message and said, no!

26. I quietly blindfolded you, gently put a banana peel under your feet, gently watched you step on it, and smiled at you looking for teeth everywhere! Then a shallow smile: see if you dare to forget me!

27. Looking back, when I was lonely, when I was lonely, when I was depressed and when I was helpless, I had you! Xiuming, when you are happy, when you are happy, when you harvest, you will be loved and harassed by text messages. ...

28. There is a tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a longing called longing, and an idiot who will finish reading the message!

29. The person who received the message was an Egyptian mummy, the person who deleted the message was an African bug, the person who replied to the message was a Rwandan wild boar, and the person who did not reply was a Thai shemale who failed the operation!

30. The vast sky makes you fly high, beautiful stories are interpreted by you, kind children have to chase them, and humorous messages are sent to the little turtle!

3 1. You are cruel, you are cruel, you are really cruel; People are thinner than cucumbers and have no meat; The skin is thicker than the wall, and the shells can't penetrate; The heart is smaller than the eye of a needle and never suffers; Love is thinner than paper, so you can cheat whoever you catch!

32. I will build your happiness; I will make up for your confusion; I will satisfy your greed; I will give in to your willfulness; I'm the only one who cares about you. I am a professional pig farmer.

33. If a drop of water represents a blessing, I will send you a South China Sea, if a star represents a happiness, I will send you a galaxy, and if a spoonful of honey represents a miss, I will send you a hornet's nest, so I don't believe that stinging people will not die.

34. Proverbs of life: It is not necessarily a prince riding a white horse, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man; Stand tall and pee far; Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let others find it!

35. I have countless friends on weekdays, but you are the only person I admire. I looked for you in the crowd and suddenly looked back. You are in the depths of the pigsty, smoking a cigarette and leaning against a tree, with a mop on your head. Wow! Whose pig is so cool?