A friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of five years.
Originally, everyone was going to get married, but when talking about the bride price, the talks broke down. The man thinks that they have been together for five years and the girl knows her situation. She shouldn't want100000 bride price, but the girl didn't give in.
Not long after they broke up, the boy married a girl he met on a blind date, and the other party also asked for a hundred thousand bride price. The boys didn't refuse each other this time.
He thinks that he and the other party have just met and need to give some economic commitment to make the other party feel safe. The girl was sad to know, but she was glad that she insisted on the bride price, otherwise she didn't know she was in the other person's eyes, so it didn't matter.
The girl's choice is right. In a marriage where money can't be negotiated, even if she reluctantly gets married, it's hard to be happy. It's actually good to test whether the two sides are suitable at the bride price early. One less mistake and one less loss.
Girls should never think that the bride price is unimportant, even if the other family's economic situation is really poor. No matter what method is used, just finish the bride price process first and then return it.
One of the functions of the bride price is to represent the attitude of the man's parents towards this marriage.
Do they really accept you as a member of the family? Don't overestimate human nature, when the sinking cost of something is very low, people probably won't cherish it.
Just like the clothes you spent 500 yuan and 5,000 yuan on, they are destined to have different values in your eyes, even if the style and quality are the same.
The essence of marriage is cooperation. When two people become husband and wife, it means that money and life are tied together. Due to gender differences, women are destined to invest assets in marriage earlier than men.
Then, there is the possibility that those who pay resources first will be ripped off by those who pay resources later.
There are many such examples in real life. When a girl is pregnant before marriage, the man takes the opportunity to lower the bride price or not give it, and she is not respected after marriage, and her married life is a mess.
The second function of bride price: a kind of compensation for women's reproductive risk.
Women can't do social work to generate income during childbirth, which means that they have no security at this stage, and how to live is the biggest problem. If something happens to both parties after marriage, at least one basic guarantee can alleviate the problem.
As long as there is fertility, there is bound to be inequality for women, and bride price is one of the rights that women can fight for themselves before marriage.
Nowadays, the slogan of "independent women" on various media platforms is louder, which is not as fast as real life. It should be understood that women are in a weak position in marriage, and it is king to protect their own survival foundation as much as possible.
Growing up under traditional education, we usually feel that it hurts our feelings to talk about money when two people are talking about marriage. In fact, feelings that can't stand the test of money can't stand the tempering of daily necessities.
The bride price is a mirror that reflects people's attitudes towards marriage and each other. The sky-high bride price is only a minority, and the bride price required by most people for marriage is relatively reasonable.
When colleague Xiaomei got married, her boyfriend's family was not good, and Xiaomei's parents also knew that the other party had difficulties. When the two families sat together to negotiate the bride price, Xiaomei's parents never knew how much to say.
Seeing that Xiaomei didn't talk, the man said, "Xiaomei, don't be embarrassed." Ask me if you have any requirements. Although my conditions are limited, I will try my best to meet your requirements. "
It is these words that make Xiaomei decide to marry her current husband. Everyone's state is different, and it is not easy for two people to live together with money.
This frankness and responsibility of Xiaomei's boyfriend is the real reason why they came together, and the bride price is only a carrier to verify the sincerity of both parties.
The third function of bride price: let both sides enter a cooling-off period.
It is easy for men and women in love to make everlasting promises under the action of hormones, but it is far from enough to rely on temporary impulse in real marriage life.
Talking about bride price can make both parties calm down and seriously think about whether the other party is really worth restraining for life. It is the transition from hazy love to real marriage. Only those who really talk about money will be happy when they enter marriage.
As the saying goes, the villain comes first, and the most difficult problem to put on the table is made clear at the beginning, and the problems in the future will be much easier to solve.
What determines whether a relationship can last is not the upper limit of the other party at all, but the lower limit. People usually hide their lower limit in daily communication in order to leave a good impression on each other, and the lower limit will only be shown when it concerns their own interests.
Therefore, the bride price is just a tool to test both parties in marriage.