Who is this poor man?

People: Zhu Xiaojun (male), Wang Daya (female), Xiaocao (female), plastic bag (male), trash can (male), faucet (male), human (male), rice (female), computer (female).

Xiaojun: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the large-scale variety show "Who is the Poor" broadcast by Hubei Satellite TV and Wuzhi Satellite TV every Saturday night. I'm the famous host Zhu Jun, no, it's Zhu Xiaojun.

Wang Daya: I am Wang Daya that everyone loves. What, Wang? I am not Wang, but Wang's sister. I am honored to be invited by Hubei TV Station to do this variety show today. I believe there must be many fans below. Ok, without further ado, let's go to the first link, "Who am I?"

Zhu Xiaojun: Yes, our contestants are a little special today. They are not stars or celebrities. Who are they?

Wang Daya: Do you want to know who they are? We will announce it for you immediately after the advertisement!

A girl came to the stage and walked with her head down. Suddenly, a man in black jumped out from behind and quickly snatched the girl's wallet. The girl shouted, "thief, catch a thief!" " ! "When a person comes to power, run after the thief: stop, don't run! ! Unexpectedly, I suddenly sneezed and coughed several times. When I looked up, the thief had disappeared. The girl stepped forward and said, "How can I catch a cold at a critical moment! "Take out a box of medicine from your pocket:" Use the hospital brand cold pass quickly, and one cold pass will pass! " "The man grabbed the medicine:" One morning, one night, health and beauty add vitality! " " )

Zhu Xiaojun: After a wonderful advertisement, welcome everyone to continue watching the program Who is the Poor hosted by Daya and me.

Yaya: Next, let's welcome the contestants present today with warm applause! !

(Seven contestants enter in turn, with different shapes. )

Zhu Xiaojun: Seven contestants stepped onto the stage. Please introduce yourself.

Grass: I came first. No flowers, no trees. I am an unknown grass. (tearful) Hello, everyone. My name is Xiaocao. You must want to know where my green is

Moderator: Where did you go?

Cao: Sorry, I won't talk to him about ordinary people!

Plastic bag: (grabs the microphone) Look at my white suit. I believe everyone can guess who I am. (poss)

Daya: (Worship) Prince Charming

Plastic bag: Sorry, I didn't ride a horse. I came by tractor, so obviously I'm not Prince Charming.

Zhu Xiaojun: Are you the white knight who is called Jade-faced Dragon in Bai Zhantang? !

Plastic bag: (Helpless) Although I wear white, it doesn't mean my surname is white. Well, I won't keep everyone's appetite, I just meet people. ...

Ya: Everyone loves you?

Plastic bag: a kind of white plastic bag, which is annoying and a headache for the Environmental Protection Agency. (whoops, crying)

Trash can: (patting the plastic bag on the shoulder) Be good, don't cry ... Hello, everyone, this is my first time to come to such a bright and starry stage, and I ... I'm sweating with excitement. A sea of people, the seas are dry and the rocks are rotten, and I am drunk as mud.

Zhu Xiaojun: Stop, stop, you are a mess. Get to the point. What's your name?

Trash can: I am a compound surname, not Ouyang, nor Shangguan. My last name is ... garbage, and my single name is bucket.

Moderator: What? Trash can (dizzy)

Faucet: (Stand up and sing) Tick-tock, tick-tock my tears ... Hello, everyone, don't look at me, I've always been talented, I'm all water.

Zhu Xiaojun: What kind of water do you have?

Faucet: Wuhan tap water has passed the national sanitary standard certification for drinking water, thank you.

(Rice tries to grab the microphone)

Tap: Sorry, I'm not finished. I forgot to tell you, I have a handsome name-faucet. Is it very similar to the characters in Jin Yong's martial arts novels?

Rice (finally grabs the microphone): More verbose than Tang Yan, (posing to the audience)

Daya: What is it like? It's quite unique, the goddess the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon.

Rice: You see my figure is beautiful, my skin is white, and my measurements are standard. I am the legendary ...

Zhu Xiaojun: Chris Lee.

Ya: (pushing Xiaojun) You have a good eye. Look carefully. Does Chris Lee have three measurements?

Rice: Don't interrupt me, I am the rice you see every day and miss day and night.

(all vomit wildly)

Computer: Everybody stop throwing up and listen to me. I am a high-tech product. Are you still worried about biting your fingers in bed when you are bored? (Others bite their fingers and nod. Are you still crying secretly because you can't talk to your friends and relatives? (Others nod tearfully. Are you still grieving for poaching someone else's corner, because you haven't found your other half yet? (Others nodded sadly. ) Then (loudly) accept my fiery heart. I can make you stop worrying ... stop crying ... stop being sad. ...

Zhu Xiaojun: You have such magical power at a young age. Dare you ask who you are?

Computer: I am a computer, synonymous with 2 1 century fashion. How many people have been hungry for me, how many people have been trouble sleeping for me, and how many people? ...

Man: I want to hit you! ! Hello, everyone. I am different from them, such as grass, plastic bags, trash cans, faucets, rice and computers. I am alone. I am a real person. I am really a person, a good citizen and a good citizen. There are no bad hobbies except playing truant occasionally, smoking, drinking a little wine and talking about love. My favorite saying is: ride your own bike and let others go! (Rides back to his seat)

Zhu Xiaojun: After listening to the wonderful self-introductions of seven contestants, I think everyone should know something about them. Let's enter the second wonderful link, "Have the most pity on me"! ! !

Ya: Wait a minute! (whispering to Xiaojun) The director just sent a text message saying that he would add an advertisement later, and people gave him millions. The program is wonderful, and the advertisements are equally wonderful. Be right back after the commercial! !

(A man comes on stage: Please look at what I have in my hand. This is a pill. This is no ordinary medicine. This is a smart bean produced by Feidong Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd., which is effective for authoritarian Alzheimer's disease. Don't look at the advertisement, look at the curative effect! You won't believe the young man standing next to me now. He used to be an Alzheimer's patient. Let's welcome him to make a speech for his recovery with warm applause!

Patient: "Three months ago, I walked like this (imitating Alzheimer's disease). Later, I was introduced to eat wisdom beans. Don't say my Alzheimer's disease is really good. I don't even know what 1+ 1 is. Now, I finally know that it is equal to 2. It's amazing. I am so excited. Thank you for giving me smart beans. "

Male: Zhidou, Zhidou, Alzheimer's Harmo's disease no longer exists, and the telephone number is 027-747474 1).

Zhu Xiaojun: Welcome back! Next, let's enter our second link, "Have the most pity on me"!

Da Ya: Audience friends in front of the TV, you can edit the short message K+ contestant's name and send it to 106582 1 1 to vote for the poor in your mind, and you will have a chance to win a box of smart beans provided by Hubei Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.

Zhu Xiaojun: Now, the contestants will state their poor reasons.

Grass: As we all know, I am a grass. I have a green coat (touched), but how has it turned white now? It was not bleached with bleach, but those uncivilized people stepped on it with such big feet! Uh-huh ... Sorry, I'm a little excited. I want to have a heart attack. I could have grown to 1.7 meters. You see, I'm only 1.5 meters now. When can we catch up with Yao Ming? Seeing my brothers and sisters leave me one by one (sad), I ... God, God, which fairy brother can help us (sad)

Yaya: well, Cao Cao, I'm sorry for your loss ... plastic bags are your turn!

Plastic bag: (standing up and striding forward) I once had a warm home, which was him (referring to the trash can) and the trash can. I never have to worry about the fear outside. However, since so many uncivilized people throw me around at will, I have become a person without a home. I was trampled by others, laughed at by my peers, attacked by wind and rain, and even had a runny nose when someone caught a cold. The saddest thing in the world is this. If God gives me another chance, I will say to the trash can (singing Tengger singer singer's song): I love you, my home. ...

(After talking about the trash can and plastic bag hugging and crying)

Trash can: (pushes open the plastic bag) Moderator, I'm hungry. Can I have two steamed buns before the speech?

Zhu Xiaojun: Sorry, we are broadcasting live now, which has a bad influence. At the end of the program, there will be a free meal on the third floor of the canteen. Please forgive me.

Trash can: OK, I can bear it. Do you know why I am so hungry? I haven't eaten for a long time. Those uncivilized people always throw my food around and never put it in my stomach. I did lose it the other day. It was two pairs of smelly socks that made me sick for several days. Even if you don't feed me, some people take me as an object of venting, and if something happens, they will hit me on the head. Last time, a young man was lovelorn and almost beat me to death. Now he is still black and blue. My life is too bitter ... (crying)

Yaya: I'm so sad ... faucet, it's your turn ... hey! Tap, you can fall asleep standing. It is really a master.

Rice: (pushes the faucet) It's your turn to speak.

Faucet: Sorry, I didn't sleep last night. I'm really sleepy (yawned). It's a long story Last night, about 1 1, a boy who was as drunk as a fiddler found me, threw up beside me and wiped his nose on me from time to time. What a nuisance! To make matters worse, he just threw up for over an hour ... he didn't turn me off after he left. He waved his sleeve and didn't take away a molecule of water ... I just cried all night ... Aha, give me a cup of mouthwash so that I won't feel bad all night ... (imitating Andy's song)

Rice: Don't cry. I'll lend you a toothbrush when I get back. (Facing the audience) Remember the first snow on 1958? At that time, human beings cherished me. In their minds, I am Nietzsche and the great Marx (others vomit wildly). Do you remember the first snow in 2008? Humans are rich, their wallets are bulging, and their mouths are awkward. My position instantly fell from Rama Peak in Zhu Mu to Sichuan Basin, which is even worse than the current stock market decline. They threw me around. I don't know how many times I fell into the sewer and drifted with the raging black water ... drifting ...

Da Ya: Wait and float, then who fished you out?

Rice: Sorry, so sad (model Zhao Benshan) I climbed up by myself!

Computer: Have ambition! I appreciate it! You don't look at my present scenery, but who can hear my crying at night and see my black panda eye? I haven't slept a wink for n nights. Those friends who are addicted to netizens have always been with me. They smoke, play games, chat and eat. My tender hands have been covered with many cocoons. So painful, so sad, so pitiful. ...

Zhu Xiaojun: Stop, stop ... You don't have to say it. We understand. Ok, next!

Person: (Bowing his head) Moderator, I abstain.

Everyone: (At the same time) Why?

Man: I'm ... I'm sorry! Sorry, Cao Er, I have to step on you at least five or six times a day. Last time, I was caught by the school leader and criticized. (walking towards the plastic bag): I'm sorry about the bag. I often throw you around. I was wrong. You can hit me, but I know you can't. (walks to the faucet)

Faucet: (angry) It wasn't you who got drunk that day, was it?

M: I can't remember clearly. I was really drunk at that time ... I'm sorry (walking to rice)

Rice: Stop it, I know, you must have ruined me, too!

Man: Long live understanding! ! (Go to the computer and stop beside it. The computer is full of expectation, and people go back to their seats without talking.) Computer: Hey, it's too much and unfair. Why don't you apologize to me? I don't know how many times I've seen you in the Internet cafe!

Man: (turning his head slowly) There are more silent complaints than audible ones ... I have decided that from the next second, I will be a civilized person and a civilized college student. (Facing the audience) The heart is there, the dream is there, just start all over again. (Imitating Liu Huan's songs)

Zhu Xiaojun: It's a good thing to know your mistakes and correct them. All seven contestants stated their pitiful reasons. At the end of the program, each contestant is required to summarize today's speech in one sentence.

Ya: Cao, you go first.

Grass: please take care of grass, your gentleness will be my greatest pride! (posing)

Plastic bag: Your graceful bending and handsome shooting will build a beautiful new campus! (talking and doing, and finally stopping at shooting)

Garbage can: reach out your lovely hand and put it in my hungry mouth! (Huang Feihong Modeling)

Faucet: rotate 362 degrees, brave and civilized! (Tai Chi action)

Rice: If you are frugal, I will be happy. I wear white, and I can eat whatever I want! (fashion modeling)

Computer: I know many people like me, but what I want to say is: There are plenty of fish in the sea, so why do you like my computer! (narcissism)

Man: (to the host) There is only one sentence left. In fact, there is no civilization in the world. Since there are more people with high quality like me, there will be civilization. (After others throw up wildly)

Zhu Xiaojun: This program is coming to an end, so who is the lucky poor tonight?

Seven contestants (asked at the same time): You're not going to advertise again, are you?

Zhu Xiaojun: No, no ... We'll find out for you in the next program!

(Seven people beat Xiaojun at the same time)

Daya: pilot, don't broadcast that paragraph just now ... well, who's the poor guy will say goodbye to you tonight, and we will still be there at the same time in the next issue! Our slogan is ...

Everyone: (Qi said): Who is the poor man? He is very sympathetic to me! Yeah! !