More and more women no longer regard getting married and having children as a necessary option in life.
They don't think women should get married when they reach a certain age. They are more interested in becoming an independent woman with a successful career than housewives.
The slogan of single young women has gradually changed from "give me a boyfriend" to "I want to be a rich woman". They hope to realize economic freedom as soon as possible instead of wanting a suitable partner.
When it comes to marriage, more women choose to let nature take its course. If they meet the right person, they can get married. If they don't meet the right person, they won't force themselves even if their parents are urging them to get married.
There are even many people who have been in love for many years but have never been married. They don't need a marriage certificate to protect their feelings, or they may not be ready to enter the marriage hall.
Perhaps this is the case. She and Huang Lixing have been in love for nearly 12 years, and there has never been news of breaking up or getting married. Xu herself said that although she was not married, she still fell in love, and she even went to freeze her eggs to prepare for the future.
For these women, getting married means changing roles. Once they get married, they lose their freedom when they are single and face complicated family relationships.
In recent years, with the development of the Internet, more and more women know the real process of childbirth and realize its actual influence on themselves. The change of divorce policy in the past two years has also aggravated everyone's anxiety about getting married.
They no longer passively accept the knowledge about marriage and childbearing as before, but have more ways to actively consider the actual value of marriage to themselves.
Li Yinhe, a famous sociologist in China, has studied gender relations. She once revealed in the variety show "Wonderful Congress" why women are increasingly reluctant to get married. Here are five reasons to poke your heart.
0 1: Marriage system and human nature are opposite in some aspects.
China was polygamous in ancient times, but the modern marriage system is monogamous, which strictly restricts us to abide by the principle of one pair for life. However, human nature is complex, and we all like the new and hate the old in essence, so some people will still betray after marriage.
Love the new and hate the old in human nature and monogamy in marriage system are often antagonistic and tense. Once there is betrayal, this marriage will fail.
So many people think that getting married means losing their freedom, which is why foreigners hold bachelor parties the night before marriage, which, as the name implies, is the last madness before marriage. This night, husband and wife do not interfere with each other, because they cannot have such freedom after marriage.
Many people don't choose to get married just because they are not ready to restrain themselves and love only one person for life. But in fact, loyalty sometimes doesn't need a marriage certificate to restrain it. It depends more on self-restraint.
02: The average life expectancy of human beings has been prolonged, and marriage has imprisoned freedom to some extent.
This article is based on the first article. When we think that choosing to get married will lose our freedom, the extension of life expectancy means that we will lose our freedom for a longer time.
Getting married means living with the same person for decades or even doing the same thing every day. Many people find it difficult to keep fresh and feel that they have no freedom to be single.
In Li Yinhe's view, a long marriage is a constraint on each other. Even if you can't guarantee to love only one person in your life, you will suppress yourself once you enter marriage.
Some people may think that this is a loss of freedom, but in my opinion, marriage gives us a good boundary.
As the saying goes, "freshness is to experience different things with the same person, not the same things with different people."
No matter how fresh the relationship is, it will become boring after a long time. It is better to choose a person to die than to spend your feelings on different people. What's more, if there is no constraint on human nature, society will become disorderly.
03: Women's consciousness awakens, and marriage is no longer the only support.
In the traditional culture of our country, women's going out to work is not valued, and it is shameful to think that women go out to show their faces. At that time, even if women wanted to earn money to support themselves, there was no way.
And now we are also constantly pursuing gender equality. As a direct result, women can have the same right to work as men, and women have more ways to support themselves without relying on men for survival. They can get what they want with their own labor.
Compared with women in traditional society, modern women have more rights to make their own choices. They no longer need to choose to get married in order to survive, but can decide whether they need to get married by their own will.
04: Divorce is too expensive and stressful.
Even though we constantly pursue equality between men and women, the tolerance of divorce in society is much higher for men than for women. Divorced men are still very popular in the marriage and love market, while divorced women can only lower their standards if they want to remarry.
Moreover, the new marriage law is now implemented, which stipulates that within 30 days of filing an application for divorce registration with the relevant authorities, as long as either party is unwilling to divorce, it can withdraw its application from the relevant authorities. The increase in the cost of divorce also makes more and more women afraid to get married.
In order to avoid the risk of divorce, more women choose not to marry.
05: With the continuous improvement of ideas, marriage is no longer just for carrying on the family line.
In ancient times, family values were very strong. In order to keep the family going, people attach great importance to carrying on the family line, and the main function of marriage is to continue the next generation.
With the development of society, people's consciousness is constantly changing. People no longer regard having children as a necessity of life, which is also the reason why there are more and more Dink families.
In the past, couples could only live together after marriage, but now more and more people choose to live together before marriage, because marriage is no longer just for having children, but depends on whether two people are suitable for living together. They prefer love to purposeful marriage.
Everyone has different views on marriage and love, and we can't say which view is the most correct. After all, adults' decisions have nothing to do with right or wrong, only choices.
More and more women don't want to get married. In addition to pursuing one's own life and changing one's view of marriage, it is also inseparable from the change of the whole social background. Now that the pace of life is getting faster and faster and the material conditions are getting better and better, people may want to pursue the freedom of the spiritual world more.
Anyway, some decisions in life are very important. When we make a choice, as long as we can be responsible for this choice and don't regret it.
Life is a process of trial and error. I don't want everything to go well, I just want to be worthy of my own heart.
Li Yinhe is a famous sociologist in China. In the book Li Yinhe said love, she talked about various views on love, marriage and family. If you have been deeply troubled by feelings, you might as well take a look at her professional advice, and you will benefit a lot.