Students and fellow initiates:

Today, the theme we are talking about is "getting married". These four words are often heard. How can it be called "getting married"? What is "good karma"? How to "wide knot"?

We now advocate "orderly management", "family harmony", "social harmony" and "world peace". "Building a good relationship" means building a perfect good interpersonal relationship and social order and creating a good space for public activities, which is to build a good relationship.

Fate is a variety of relationships, including relationships between people, people and things, people and things, past, present and future, things and reason, things and law. The goodness in these relationships is called good karma; On the contrary, it is not good karma that corrodes interpersonal relationships, public order and social stability, but bad karma. What we do, what we do, is good if it is conducive to the establishment of public order, social order and interpersonal order.

How should we begin to "make good relations"?

If you want to burn incense in the temple, you can take it at will, thinking that this is a good relationship; Or eat whatever you want, thinking it's for good relations; Or learn from the scriptures at will, thinking that it is to get married. Of course, for temples, these are all forms of good relations. But what about those of us who burn incense, eat, read and make friends? It's hard to say. It depends on how we are motivated and what our motivation is. There are some scriptures in the temple, and there is no place to pile them up. Come and get them, and finish them. Or sometimes there are a lot of incense in the temple, which is difficult to handle. You can buy it for others to burn, bless all beings, or sometimes you can't finish it. Inviting others to come can make a good relationship; But these are passive intimate relationships.

If I have 100 yuan, I will give him 5 yuan when I meet someone, thinking that this is a good marriage. Who wouldn't do such a thing? This is an egalitarian idea, not a good relationship. Not egalitarianism, not unprincipled, but moderate.

So, how do we know and appreciate the extensive good karma in temples? This is a very important question. For example, if our words are just right, people like to listen and accept, and their behavior can change immediately after acceptance, then our language is useful. On the contrary, if someone works here and you say that we learn from Buddhism and don't do anything, then what we say has nothing to do with what he is doing, and we will have a bad relationship with him. Or see people working hard there, worshipping Buddha, reading the Bible and meditating. Let's go over and say, let's go for a walk, don't sit there all day. This is not a good relationship, but a bad relationship. His heart was calm, so it was counterproductive to say it.

On the second floor of Jianxing Hall, Heshangzhai Hall

Because we are scattered inside, we often don't know what to say. When you meet someone, tell him what you want to say, and after he listens to you, practice according to your scattered language; Then he broke up, too. This karma is all true. Because when you say this, you have no intention of starting from your worries. People will accept what you say and will have an impact on them. Language itself is a profession, a body, a language and a meaning. Therefore, whether at home or in a temple, how to speak is very important. Watch your words and deeds, don't say anything casually. So in terms of heart-to-heart, you can make a good marriage.

We have to ask the mage to speak for us all the time. The key is to practice. If we don't practice, just like children, parents can't manage it every day. So the child will never grow up. We said the same thing. People at different levels have different expressions. At first, you may have to talk more and use more languages, but gradually there are fewer and fewer languages. When we hold a legal meeting or organize an activity, it is often easy for us to emphasize its significance, advantages and how to do it. Then, the people we listen to will think that we will do very well and have great merits. In fact, the most important thing we are talking about is how to do things well; If you do it well, it is of great significance and boundless merits. At this moment, what you want to say is how to do things well, so that our relevant personnel can have a complete career and have a good relationship. If you do it well, your merits will be great, which does not mean that we should emphasize the significance and merits of doing it. Although it has merits and significance.

Secondly, we should listen carefully to what others tell us, and then we will practice. In such a group in our temple, there are masters, guests, Na Wei teachers, pickets and so on. When they talk to you, they represent his identity. Another example is that the Assembly has a minister and a general convener. If you think that this minister or convener is not as good as me, or that we are all the same, I may or may not listen to you, then your intention is wrong and it is not a good relationship. Although the minister may be younger, junior and less educated than you, he is performing official duties for our activities. He is trying to maintain order, work order, public affairs order and space order. You should hear this. If you don't listen and do what you want to do, then you are creating a bad relationship, because you don't know, and there are many factors to consider when you figure out why people say this and why they make such decisions. It may be easy for us to say that we should do it from the present point of view. This is different. This emphasis and focus are different. Therefore, there are many behaviors in our daily life that are irreconcilable and easy to observe, that is, there are problems with our own motives and our own understanding, and we always feel that others are not as good as ourselves. The Analects of Confucius said, "People who have no friends are not as good as themselves". Some people think that the friends I make must be better than me. If you are not as good as me, I don't want to talk to you. There are also some people who understand that people without friends are not as good as themselves, no one is not as good as themselves, and everyone is better than me. This is another way of understanding. Everyone has everyone's strengths, as long as everyone does well in their own starting point, then it is a good relationship. If everyone doesn't do well at different starting points, it is not a good relationship, because you, your relationship, others and other things hinder the whole, so it is not a good relationship. Buddhism is for us to understand. We can't set everything and measure everything with one idea.

Extensive good karma, which is orderly in language, is called extensive good karma. Implementation should also be orderly, and orderly behavior is also a good relationship. If you think that I didn't intentionally create a bad relationship with others or sabotage it, we tend to forgive ourselves and think that we have nothing wrong, but in fact, we haven't fulfilled our responsibilities, our obligations and what we should have done in time, which is not called a good relationship. To put it another way, whether you work hard, do things and talk all the year round depends on whether it is beneficial to everyone. It's good for everyone. It's not a broad good cause as I just said, but it's true. If I said something, I did something, which is good for others. Just like a doctor in a hospital, when he saw a patient coming, he picked up a pile of medicine and said, take this medicine back and eat it. Different patients have different symptoms. This medicine can't be given to others casually, but it will be counterproductive. We talk in the same way. We can't say that I will talk to you just because I meet someone. That would be counterproductive. Do you know what his problem is? Even if you don't understand the problem clearly, even if you think I'm talking about Buddhism and I'm talking about medicine, there will be problems, so the first thing to do is to make good relations.

Third, in terms of human dignity, it is also possible to have a good relationship. A mage or a layman, if our dignity is good, everyone will be respectful, and a gentleman is neither arrogant nor impetuous. If the dignity is good, it will give people a sense of stability in a group and in a public space. If dignity is frivolous, it means that our hearts are scattered. In daily life, these dignity are very important in meetings, work and communication. In the middle of the Buddhist temple, how to put worship mats, wooden fish, lead and drums? No matter how the candle tower is placed, it should be just right. The distance, size, orientation and human dignity should be just right. Just right, in the words of society, is to find your own position. It is very important to find our own position, that is, where we should sit, where we should stand, where we should stand. We will sit where we should. Imagine if everyone was sitting there, only you said I like standing, and only you stood there. From your personal point of view, there is nothing wrong with standing or sitting. It's just that I prefer standing to sitting at this time. But if it is for the whole group, it is very important. For example, if we have a meeting in a bhikkhu and do karma, there will be problems when everyone is sitting and you are standing. The same is true of amateur meetings, where everyone sits and you stand alone. Then others will think you are strange and you will feel different from others. Some people like to sit forward, some like to do it later, some like to squeeze in the middle, and some like to retreat to the extreme side. These places are not suitable for our dignity. Just right means: ten people, twenty people have a meeting, and you know exactly who is sitting in what position. You should know exactly who is sitting in what position, just like the staff in the company. The section chief, director, manager, deputy general manager and general manager all know where they are sitting. He knows exactly what he wants to say and what dignity he has. You are the manager and general manager, and his language and dignity are different. So if you are the manager of a company, if you say more than the general manager, then you are talking big. The manager can only explain what you said to the general manager, and then the language you can only speak has a small connotation, and you can only say it is so small and useful. What do you think the general manager asks me to do, I have to do it well. Can't you tell me what my company wants to do? That's none of your business. This company is what someone else's president thinks. What you said is meaningless. That's what needs to be studied before the board meeting and the leadership decision-making meeting. What you need to learn now is: I want to take three people and the following five people. I know what to do today, and I want to finish it. Then this is the most important thing.

This prestige cannot be simply thought: ears don't listen to others, eyes don't look at others. Viewing the nose with eyes, the tongue with nose, the heart with tongue and the Buddha with heart are the ways to tell our minds, adjust our hearts and keep mindfulness. This is necessary. But this does not mean that each of us, this is enough. So if we all observe the nose, nose and tongue, tongue and brain, who will arrange the work? Who will check the work and who will supervise it? Right? That's definitely impossible. Someone must arrange it, and someone must carry it out. Only in this way can we ensure the harmony, development and stability of a unit and a group. If you don't listen to other people's arrangements, whether it's a temple or a unit, how can you implement it? It can't be implemented, because you don't listen, you don't know what you want? You don't even know what other people have arranged for you. That will definitely ruin the ship. Therefore, in terms of doing things and prestige, it is possible to have a good relationship. You have done just right, and everyone is happy to see it, which has promoted the development of Buddhism, or promoted the progress of your own work, or promoted the development of your own unit. That is the good karma of all beings and everyone.

In addition, hobbies can also build good relationships. If your hobbies conform to Buddhism: study hard, read the Bible, meditate, worship Buddha, go to church, go to temples, and be diligent and orderly in body, language and mind, then you can have a good relationship. Then if you have different hobbies, or you don't have any hobbies. That's not right either. Without any hobbies, I can't see what the center of manufacturing is. There must be hobbies, for example, some people like meditation, some people like kowtowing, and some people like chanting. Some people like to do good deeds, all of which are hobbies, good hobbies. On the other hand, some people may like chatting, some people like making friends, some people like writing poems, some people like drinking tea, some people like traveling and so on. Of course, these can't be said to be wrong from a secular point of view, but we want to judge whether your hobby itself is worthwhile. What is his meaning? For example, drinking tea can quench our thirst, refresh ourselves and enlighten us, so drinking tea is meaningful. If drinking tea is used to cultivate relationships, talk about things and relax, it is also a kind of meaning, but it has become a messy fate. Then the hobby he recognizes may have a good relationship, a bad relationship, or a bad relationship. It is possible. Because if our hearts can't grasp and understand, then we can't observe or understand these aspects.

Sometimes I hear a layman say: I am protecting this temple. Is this called "forging a good relationship", or should I say that every temple should be protected? Is this called "forging a good relationship"? Do I support all wizards to get married? Many people want to know what the answer is.

Just now I talked about what you are and how to do things. What is our fate, and then how we get married, this is a very important thing. Our temples, monks, for laymen, we are a fate for those who don't believe in Buddhism at home; The common people in our family, for temples and mages, are a kind of fate for us to learn Buddhism and plant good roots. Others are a kind of fate to themselves, and they are also a kind of fate to others. If we always think that I am the cause and you are the fate, it will become a problem, and it will become that we always say that I am subjective and you are objective, and you are objective to embarrass me. This is a manifestation of "self-enforcement" and "law enforcement". Personally, this person thinks that I practice hard and study hard, and he will only do it if he is good to me. If three people, five people, 10 people and 20 people all think so, there will be many problems, which will lead to many problems. He didn't realize that we were also the fate of others. When the Buddha was alive, monks begged for food, and begging for food itself was to make good relations. When I went to the temple, I provided some rice. I take this meal to the big hut, and whoever comes can eat it. This is a good relationship in itself. Needless to say, I brought this orange to the temple, and 20 Jin of oranges must be distributed to each mage personally. Isn't it troublesome? People want to eat an orange from you and gather everyone together? You said that you donated 10 yuan to the foundation, and the foundation will give it to the victims then, right? There will be many good relationships here. Without separation, there would be no such obstacles in my heart.

A group, a cause, itself is a gathering of all kinds of good deeds. We realize this, this group is something I can trust, I should protect it with my heart, I should pay, and then you have to do it, so that we can have a good relationship. If more and more people can know what I am doing, there is a problem. The second person and the third person think so, too. My behavior must be known by many people, which is not good. A cause, an organization and a group are all gathered together by these little things. It embodies the aggregation of everyone's behavior, body, language and meaning. If we realize this, naturally, we won't have problems and these contradictions. This means how to get along well.

In the Forty-two Classics, it is said that it is better to raise a good man than to raise 65,438+1,000 wicked people, that is, it is better to raise a good man than to raise 65,438+1,000 wicked people; A good man with a thousand meals is not as good as a good man with five precepts, because the reasons are different. After you raise 100 wicked people, they eat and do evil; Support a good man, and he will do good when he is full. You may think, is this a humanitarian idea? These are two different things, two concepts. We mean to support 100 wicked people and 1 00 good people, not to say that 100 wicked people don't give him food. This concept is different. Then in our daily life, in our study life, we must have a clear choice about our behavior and our contribution, otherwise, our behavior will not show its meaning, nor will it show your behavior and your inner cognition of Buddhism; I can't see my understanding of Buddhism, and I won't have deep feelings in my heart.

What is affection? Just like eating, you should know how much I want to eat today as soon as you get to the lobby. Under normal circumstances, when the climate changes in spring, summer, autumn and winter, I am sure how many clothes I should wear. Buddhism is exactly the same as eating and dressing, both of which are arbitrary and know fairly well. If one day I don't know how much clothes to wear and how much to eat, and I don't know all the time, people will start to have problems. Under normal circumstances, I eat two or three meals, which is definitely orderly. Only when you are orderly can you be normal, physically and mentally stable and healthy. You are not normal, and the problem comes out. This is called Buddhism, and Buddhism itself is reflected from these things. As for the fruit, it is mutual and complicated, and many edges are tied together, which is called wide knot, which is good and fate.

Fate, relatively speaking, is called fate. Fate itself is the reason, and reason itself is fate. We often put these causes and effects in opposition. If everyone says I pay attention to my career, then everyone lacks fate, and then everyone can't live. Cause and effect are mutual. We often talk about the "origin method", and the origin method itself also includes reasons. Everyone has a bowl in front of his desk, and there is food in it, so if we make it clear that the purpose of my eating is to become a Buddha, to educate all living beings, or to teach Buddhism to the abbot, it must be a serious business. Well, how did you get this meal and this bowl? This has become our destiny. For example, it is necessary to know where the bowl is sold, or who will support the bowl and who will support the rice. Some people can wash vegetables, some can cook, and some can cook. If you only focus on the reason, I want to eat and you want to cook for me, this becomes a problem. Well, there are 500 people eating today, and there must be 20 people in the canteen, temple or person in charge. We should be able to find 20 people. Without these 20 people and enough manpower, the meal can't be cooked. These are all very important, they are all karma, karma is intertwined and intertwined. Therefore, it is very important for us to master this origin method in Buddhism.

Buddhism and Buddhism are different from other religions in origin. Everything it says about karma is related to karma. Therefore, in the face of one thing, we must investigate what is the cause and what is the fate of this matter. So what we do now, it will happen later. The whole theory of Buddhism is to let us establish a correct understanding of things, that is, the right view. The correct understanding is indeed like this. All good and evil, samsara and liberation are karma. After this establishment becomes a definite solution, the opinion that becomes the decision will not waver.

Then, the second step, positive thinking, is not that simple. We often talk about positive thinking, but in fact we don't think. We don't want to say that six things and four saints are deep-seated causes and effects. As simple as a dress, a floor, and an electric light, you may not think of it. For example, how to make clothes, what is the name of the material and color of clothes, it is difficult to explain clearly. For example, the clothes we wear are gray, the gray in the front and the gray in the back are gray, and the gray of two different clothes is different in your mind. Your heart, you see it, you know it in your heart, but you can't express it clearly. How do you view these different things and how to build your own positive thinking? You can't think. People say that our culture in China is a kind of thinking in images, and many things depend on images. Many of our images are vague, because you are vague, so is your thinking, and because you are vague, so is your result. Because it is vague, it is unpredictable. Because it is unpredictable, you can't grasp it. Because I can't catch it, I am afraid; Because of fear, there will be anxiety; You can't settle down by worrying. These are all due to the lack of correct thinking. For example, a chef knows how I cook, and his mind is clear, so his cooking is good. He may not know how to express a profound theory, but he must know when to prepare vegetables, wash vegetables and make a fire. He must speak out and know what to do. He knows exactly how many people there are, how big the pot is and how big the ladle is. He has experience, and he has a way of thinking. He doesn't need dozens of books. With these experiences, he can think. We can't think without people who have never cooked. Your thinking is an armchair strategist, and speculation is two different things. Therefore, the combination of theory and practice, the importance of practice and our teachers and friends are inseparable, very important. Cooking is the same as burning a fire. You should think this fire is very simple. You go there and burn it. Steaming steamed bread, stir-frying and frying tofu require different fires. You cook boiled water, porridge, rice, how long and how big the fire is. How many minutes it takes is very important, and it is very important.

Then, if you want to establish these good thinking, you must follow the principle of making a wide range of good relationships. A good marriage is self-interested, altruistic, universal and clear-minded. What is the reason for becoming a Buddha? Is it open to all beings, or how to be selfish and altruistic? It should include everything. Forging a good relationship is the cause of becoming a Buddha, that is, bodhicitta, not another bodhicitta that everyone doesn't understand. So we are in a Dojo, how can we experience Buddhism? How to work hard, how to establish your own purpose in life, how to establish a good attitude of learning and repairing, and the mode of thinking, all these need to be learned. Only when you learn can you think. If you don't study, you won't think, and you don't know how to think, let alone how to think. The thinking of scientists and mathematicians in society is different from that of writers. When scientists see a drop of water, they see hydrogen and oxygen. When a writer sees a drop of water, he may write a good article and a good poem, right? Then we in Buddhism also look at water, and everyone looks at it differently, because your occupation is different and he looks at water differently. Heaven and man see water as a palace mirror, people see water as water, fish see water, and ghosts see water differently. Industries are different, so the same thing, the same realm, has different power for different beings.

In a Dojo, why do many people have different reactions to the same dish, the same thing and the same thing, that is, the sense of industry. Industrial consciousness originated from. Only when you really understand that it is normal for these people to react like this, and these people say that these attitudes are normal, then your mentality is normal. If your mental state is affected, then you are still not skilled in mastering the origin of Buddhism. Therefore, forging a good relationship can be linked with karma and our efforts, because you only need to realize that all this is the gathering, gathering and display of all kinds of karma of all beings. So, what problems should I solve at this moment, to what extent, to what extent? What I am saying now may not have real meaning in front of me, but it may take a week, a month, half a year, a year, and there are reasons and it can work. This means that what we say today may become a possible reason, and may not directly solve many problems, but this reason is planted. Then we should be very clear in our hearts. If we mean the reason why we planted it, and we don't know when it will be harvested, will you plant it? All farmers are expected to grow crops. They know how many days it will take for Chinese cabbage, potatoes and apples, so they will do it. So if we learn from Buddhism and think that what I do will have results after infinite robbery, then our words are meaningless. Everyone knows that there will be consequences after infinite robbery. Then can you know what will happen in ten years, five years and one year? This is the key. What will happen in my life is the most important thing. We can't push the known into the unknown like infinite robbery. On the contrary, we should turn the unknown into the known. We are still far from becoming a Buddha. I don't know the date. I want to make what it doesn't know become what it can know and what it can't do become what it can do. Then this is called getting married.