2. Shout when the road is rough, and then go on.

3. You don't know what dependence is until you drop your belt.

4. Take a newspaper to the toilet. I am a scholar.

5. Go to Google and Baidu.

6. Life is sometimes like a computer. If it collapses, it collapses. It's not negotiable.

7. Format yourself just to delete you!

8. When a woman stops obsessing, cheating, being moody and loving.

9. The best years in my life are these years. I can't find anyone to spend money on me. Can I spend my own money?

10. The biggest sorrow in life is to turn other people's debts into your own.

1 1, my god, did you let summer and winter share a room? This kind of weather!

12, there are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money.

13, I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. In retrospect, this thousand-handed Guanyin has been streaking for more than 20 years!

14, not afraid of enemies like tigers, but afraid of teammates like pigs.

15, the most romantic thing I can think of is that you are getting older and I am still young.

16, suit yourself!

17, pregnancy is like pregnancy. It takes a long time for people to see it.

18, don't call me if you have nothing to do, and don't call me if you have anything to do.

19, do you think I will watch you die? I close my eyes.

20, exercise muscles to prevent being beaten!

2 1. Angels can fly because they despise themselves. ...

22, counting sheep to mouth cramps, nightmares really wake up naturally.

23, hug is really a very strange thing, obviously so close, but can't see each other's face.

24. I can't take care of myself in my personal life!

When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock. ...

26. Actually, I am a genius. Unfortunately, I am jealous of talents!

Please don't speak English in front of me in the future, ok?

28, how far is the thought, how far you roll for me!

29. A man's lies can lie to a woman for one night, and a woman's lies can lie to a man for a lifetime!

30. No one has blown cowhide so fresh and refined for a long time!

Boss, is money really that important to you? You talked for more than three hours and didn't leave a penny behind?

Why do you get up so early? The nightclub hasn't opened yet!

When I woke up, it was already dark.

If I become a personnel manager, the first thing I will do is to promote myself to the boss.

35. I try to lose weight every day except during meals. You still say I have no perseverance?

36. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

37. Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk without eating.

38. As long as you dare to die, I dare to bury it!

39. People are not smart, but dare to learn from others' baldness?

40. There is an old legend-people who can see beautiful women on XX campus will live forever. ...

4 1, if you ignore me, I will become a dog. ...

42, born, easy; Living is easy; Life is not easy.

I won't tell you if I kill you.

44. Nothing money can solve is a problem.

45. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens!

46. Even believe in advertisements. Are you stupid in your studies?

47. It's easy to quit smoking, but it's too difficult to quit you!

48. How to lose weight if you don't have enough to eat?

49. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art.

50. The old ladies on Naihe Bridge have sold Pepsi. How can I forget you?

5 1, the early bird gets the worm, and the early worm is eaten by the bird.

If I become an emperor, I will make you a prince.

53. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

God, my clothes have lost weight again!

55. My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

56, the effect of contraception: unsuccessful, it becomes a person.

57. I am different from you because I am human.

58. How many worries you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

59. I really want to control your grandfather's crying: "Dad!"

I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple …

6 1. Same bottle of drinks, convenience store 7 yuan, five-star hotel 60 yuan. Many times, a person's value depends on his position.

62. Maturity is not an old idea, but a smile when tears fill your eyes.

63. The highest state of shameless people is that they don't know their shame at all.

64. Man-when he doesn't belong to you, let you sigh what is perfect, and when he belongs to you, let you sigh what is true.

65. Men spend money to make women happy and women spend money because men make them unhappy.

66. When you are in love, you promise to get married again in your next life. After marriage, you often doubt that you made destined love in your last life.

67. If you make trouble without reason, you will get something.

68. Happiness is a comparative level. You can't feel it until something is at the bottom.

Greetings don't have to be formal, but they must be sincere and touching.

70. It is better to be beautiful than to live beautifully.

7 1. Besides love, there are radishes in other people's fields.

72. Some things, knowing that they are wrong, have to be persisted because they are unwilling. Some people, knowing that they are in love, have to give up because there is no ending. Sometimes, they know there is no way out, but they are still moving forward because they are used to it.

73. The sea is wide and the fish jumps, and the broken drum is open to anyone.

74. The grievances that can be said are not grievances, and the lover that can be taken away is not qualified to be a lover.

75. If smoking is not obedient, I will "smoke".

You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig.

77. God lied to everyone, because hell is the most beautiful! The Buddha knew the truth, so the Buddha said, "If I don't go to hell, who will?"

78. When I was dizzy, I finally understood what love was.

79. When I am drunk, I refuse to obey anyone. I only hold the wall.

80. Can eggs from all over the world unite to break stones? ! So be realistic.

8 1. The one riding a white horse is not necessarily a prince, he may be a Tang priest; The one with wings is not necessarily an angel, he may be a bird man.

82. Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

83. Not afraid of being used, I am afraid that you are useless.

Jack should have Jill.

85. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

86. Other people's money and wealth are my property.

87. Your future depends on your dreams now, so go back to sleep.

88. Wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it.

89. Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

90. What is life? Life is a hammer, breaking your ideal jars one by one!

9 1. You and I are both one-winged angels. Only by embracing each other can we spread our wings and fly. I came to this world to find you, and I went through a lot of hardships to find you: TMD! Our wings are on the same side!

92. In the middle of the night, Bush saw Laden standing in front of his bed and sticking his head out. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Laden shook his chest-high beard, smiled darkly and said, I'm glad, I'm so confident!

93. A bean fell. It's discouraging and frustrating. This bean is me. What can encourage it to stand up? The answer is you! Because there is something called "pigs encourage beans".

94. If I were a fox and you were a hunter, would you chase me? If I were tea and you were boiling water, would you soak me? If I were a car and you were a driver, would you drive me? If you are money and I am a passbook, I will definitely take yours.

96. If a drop of water falls from the sky, it will be a tear I miss you; If two drops of water fall from the sky, it is that I love you and am ecstatic; If there are countless water drops in the sky, it is. Stop dreaming, it's raining!

97. Dear users, your phone bill balance is less than 0. 1 yuan. Please sell your children, women, rice, iron blood, house and land, lovers and mobile phone fees in the near future. China Mobile will kowtow to you.

98. I really want to invite you to dinner, but there is no water supply during the day and no electricity at night. I can't afford white flour without paying my salary. I turned to Allen for help to find the answer: it turned out to be the primary stage of SHZY, and turned back: damn it, it will remain unchanged for a hundred years! Can I invite you to dinner?

99. Do you know why we are predestined friends? We knew each other as early as 1000 years ago. It was autumn, and you ran with me in the wind, leaving your teeth marks on me. This has become an eternal story. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

10 1. Late at night, the Boeing 737 pilot came home and knocked at the door. The wife asked: Who? The pilot said humorously: 737 requesting landing! Suddenly a man in the room shouted: Roger that, 777 will take off immediately to make room for you!

102. Without flowers, spring will be lonely. Without passion, the four seasons will be mediocre. Without me, you will lose someone who cares about you the most! Without you, the rabbit will ask, "Who should I compete with?"

103. My wife is a Cao operating system, but it is very troublesome to install and uninstall; The little secret is the desktop, you can change it every day as long as you are interested; Lover is the internet, the scenery is infinite, and money is constantly spent; Miss is pirated software, remember to kill virus first when using it!

104. You come from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I come from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your hairy hand! Love! Let's walk upright!