First of all, although your text is short, it reflects at least two messages. First, there is a lack of trust or some necessary communication mechanism between you and your husband. It is precisely because of this lack of communication mechanism that you lack the necessary understanding, and it is precisely because of mutual ignorance that you lack the necessary trust.
Then my suggestion is: at an appropriate time, try to talk to your husband calmly (very important), understand his thoughts and let him know how you feel. Remember not to let heart-to-heart talk turn into mutual accusations or even expose shortcomings, which will only accumulate new contradictions. Just like that kind of friends, let each other's worries and feelings speak out. You are both a listener and a narrator. If you think it's ok, please have a similar conversation regularly or irregularly, which is the basis for you to understand each other.
Secondly, the second message is that you and his parents have formed a certain degree of opposition. Because you complain that he always listens to his parents, of course he doesn't listen to you, which shows that you are different from his parents to some extent. This problem is even more common. To tell the truth, there is no contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, which is really hard to get.
My advice is: change your heart. Since you can think of relying on everyone's wisdom to solve your personal problems online, which proves from one side that you are a rational and intelligent woman, then you must be relatively rational in reality and at least know the most basic filial piety. Then please use your filial piety to your parents to understand your husband's filial piety. In fact, many times, it may not be that he doesn't understand you, but that he chose the latter between affection and filial piety. If you really know him, you may know the process of this choice, which is often very painful. Then I think I should congratulate you anyway, because as long as one knows filial piety, this can't be wrong. Please believe that the so-called "filial piety is the first virtue" is not just a slogan to persuade people to be kind, but a summary of wisdom after thousands of years.
I believe that if you put yourself in the other's shoes, your parents and your husband will have different views. What would you choose? I can assert that any rational person will stand by his parents at that moment, even though he knows that his parents are wrong and his husband is right. When things calm down, try to communicate with your parents in order to reach the bottom line. Then when you and your husband's parents encounter similar problems, please treat them as your parents first, as long as it's not a matter of principle, and be modest in the principle of filial piety. Even if there are major differences in principle, please obey them on the surface first, communicate peacefully with your husband privately, explain things clearly, and reach an understanding (of course, this understanding can only be the minimum requirement for both parties to compromise sometimes).
Finally, even if it doesn't work out as you wish, please make the necessary compromise, because they are parents. Please believe that the tighter you hold on, the more you lose, and the more you gain by giving up on yourself (ideas, ideas, interests). Buddhists say "no self". There is a saying in the Tao Te Ching: "A man's talent does not dispute, and the world cannot compete with him." It is really the great wisdom of our ancestors. When we really give up those trivial things, even our own major interests, we will certainly get more. Because all your actions are not for one person's ego, but for a family's ego. Then your interest is everyone's interest, and vice versa. But if you always cling to the so-called "self", my thoughts, my ideas, my rights and my interests. Your path will get narrower and narrower until it is too narrow for anyone, including yourself.
Of course, I must admit that your husband is not without mistakes. On the contrary, since he is a man, he should bear more. But I heard that a good woman is a good school and a good teacher, which can make any man from stubborn to perfect. It is such a change, which is not reversed according to one's own wishes, but an example like honesty, which is imperceptibly influenced by words and deeds. Simply put, I don't ask others, but I do better myself. Please believe that when you speak kindly, do good deeds and have a kind heart, everything around you will gradually get better.
In summary, what should you do? In my opinion, the first thing you have to do is to be yourself first. In fact, your communication with everyone shows that you have realized that it is difficult to change others. The only thing we can grasp in the end is actually ourselves. So if we can't change ourselves, what can we change? Secondly, you must honor your in-laws, so that you will not be suspected of dereliction of duty and let others accuse and dislike you. Finally, try to communicate with your husband peacefully on a regular basis, such as telling her that you respect your parents (that is, both parents) and know that you should not go against their ideas, but whether some places are inappropriate or whether it would be better to do something, and so on. When it comes to time, if the husband doesn't listen or shows impatience, then change the time and change the way. Remember: in fact, there is no reason between family members. If you must find one, then making your family happy is the only truth (of course, you must never do anything illegal). So don't cling to the so-called "reason" in family affairs. Once persistent, it will be unreasonable immediately.
I'm sorry I'm so verbose. Maybe many things are not good or even right. Please participate. I sincerely wish you a happy family, a happy husband and wife and all your wishes come true.