There are four options in this life ranking problem: "self, partner, children, parents", which is more important and will rank first.
Na Ying made her own choices: first, children, second, partners, third, parents, and finally, herself.
Chen Ye, his wife, put herself last, but unlike Na Ying, she put her partner first.
Cecilia Cheung and Dong Xuan, who have experienced unhappy marriages, are obviously more "selfish". They put themselves first, followed by their children, parents and finally their partners.
Cecilia Cheung said that if she can't protect herself, she can't protect her children and family.
Yang Yuying, who is still single at 50, is even more outspoken. "Love and marriage are like cherries on a cake. They just embellish their own lives and cannot be their own. "
Earlier, Yang Yuying also publicly responded to "not getting married" in the interview:
"The world needs more lifestyles, and we don't want this established thing. Tradition is good, but everyone's experience is different. Now it seems that many people choose not to get married, or choose Dink after marriage. Is this not good? "
Obviously, on the issue of life sequencing, she made her own choice.
The problem of life sequencing itself is full of controversy, and there is no right or wrong. But in my opinion, the ranking of selfish people like Yang Yuying and Cecilia Cheung who know how to put themselves first is more rational and healthy.
Because it is a disaster to regard anyone more important than yourself, whether it is for others or for yourself.
As Chaplin wrote in When I Began to Love Myself:
When I began to really love myself, I realized that all the pain and emotional torture were just reminding me: live, don't go against my will. It's called truth.
People who love themselves can love others.
This is probably why we always put ourselves first.
0 1 About yourself
Yan Yan: No one can be responsible for our lives except ourselves. If you learn to be kind to yourself, you will find that "selfish" life is really cool.
Yan Yan: Some people think that relationship is the way out. The wider the network, the more ways out. So they spend a lot of energy on business relations and pin their hopes on others. But I never thought about the ideal contact lens. You need me. I need you. Only powerful people can truly have the right to speak.
Yan Yan: After all, the world belongs only to those who can take the initiative in life.
About socializing
Yan Yan: Ben Jonson said, "Language can reveal a person best. As long as you speak, I can understand. People who can talk may suffer a lot less and take a lot of detours.
Yan Yan: On one occasion, Zi Gong asked Confucius how to be a gentleman. Confucius said, "Speak before you act." Do it before you say it, and you are a gentleman.
On another occasion, Confucius said, "A gentleman talks but doesn't do it." A gentleman does more than he says. Speaking is very important in interpersonal communication, but it is more important to shut up.
Yan Yan: Yang Lan said in "Why do I believe in judging people by their appearances": No one has the obligation to discover your excellent inner qualities through your sloppy appearance. Managing your life well is the only and most important thing in our life.
03 life sentiment
Yan Yan: Only by enduring loneliness can we maintain prosperity.
Yan Yan: As Intensive Reading Jun said in the dictionary entry "797: Minimalism":
Many times, too much is not necessarily good. More means abundant supply, which means satisfying desires. For example, today's e-commerce websites have a dazzling array of goods, with hundreds of thousands and millions of goods around people's daily necessities. In terms of material supply and living standards alone, ordinary people today may be better off than emperors hundreds of years ago. This fully shows that the more the better.
On the other hand, more is not necessarily good. For example, the paradox of choice is a typical phenomenon, and more freedom and choice cannot bring greater happiness. On the contrary, the more choices, the less happiness.
Yan Yan: Only by learning to accept ordinary life and enjoy the beauty of daily life can we really master the secret of happiness.
Finisher: Yan Yan, a master of intensive reading, has limited life and knowledge.