This is an era of national anxiety.
Whether it is a newcomer with a monthly salary of 5,000 yuan or a senior executive with a monthly salary of 5,000 yuan, everyone is as restless as an ant on a hot pot.
"I have a meeting to report on my work tomorrow. I'm so nervous. I can't sleep tonight..."
"I must finish this matter immediately, otherwise it will be too late"
p>
"I'm already facing a mid-life crisis, what should I do?"
"I'm almost 30 and only earn 3,000 a month. Do I still have room for improvement?"
< p> "I want to be a project manager next year and start my own business the year after that. How can I do it?""I feel like I am in a dead end and have been left far behind by my peers. Thinking of these, I get angry. ”
.......
Are these feelings familiar? There are thousands of kinds of anxiety in the world, and there is always one that belongs to you.
On the surface, these anxieties are just an emotional manifestation. However, if anxiety persists for a long time, it will bring many adverse effects:
●Lower work efficiency
< p> ●Interpersonal relationships deteriorate●Life is negatively affected
●Increased susceptibility to disease, leading to disease.
...
In today's fast-paced and information-exploding social environment, anxiety has inevitably become a label of the times, and everyone is doing it struggle.
When you turn on your mobile phone, there are people who sell anxiety, and there are also people who teach you how to fight anxiety. There are also endless courses and books on anxiety on the market. Even on the stage of TED talks, there are speakers who use their own personal experiences to teach. You eliminate anxiety and gain inner peace.
These various chicken soups may help you forget your anxiety temporarily, but over time you will find that the anxiety deep inside you is always there. The reason is that our understanding of anxiety itself is not deep enough.
What exactly is anxiety? How to fundamentally eliminate our inner anxiety?
The best-selling book "No Anxiety at Work" not only analyzes the nature of anxiety from the perspectives of psychology and management, leads us out of cognitive misunderstandings, but also provides a revolutionary solution to anxiety.
This book is not chicken blood, let alone chicken soup, but a truly scientific and rational way to help you get rid of anxiety and return to your positive self.
Dr. Derek Roger, a well-known psychologist who has been engaged in anxiety cause-and-effect research for more than 30 years, joined hands with Nick Petrie, a senior trainer at the American Innovation Leadership Center, to challenge Regarding the traditional understanding of anxiety and resilience, it proposes a formula that causes anxiety: stress + entanglement = anxiety. It also provides a four-step solution to break the habit of entanglement. The operation techniques are simple and easy to implement, and teach you how to break the demon of anxiety step by step. curse.
1. Re-understand anxiety
Usually we think that anxiety is caused by stress, and that it is external people and things that cause our anxiety.
But research by Dr. Derek Roger, one of the authors of this book (a chartered psychologist and a leader in the field of anxiety management research), shows that anxiety is caused by entanglement.
He found that there are eight key behaviors that determine whether a person has anxiety. The most important behavior is whether the individual has a tendency to ruminate, that is, whether the individual has frequent chewing pain. Past personality traits. As he said in the book, anxiety is your reaction to the event, not the event itself. The event is not the reason why people feel anxious. The most fundamental reason is the way people respond to external events.
In fact, most of the situations that make you feel "anxious" in daily life are just stress, but when you add the key factor of "entanglement", especially thinking back and forth, it makes you feel anxious. Stress can easily turn into anxiety when you are worried about something.
Pressure + tangle = anxiety
Pressure + rumination = stress.
For example, if you are late, you should accept the fact that you are late and complete it as quickly and efficiently as possible Or are you full of guilt about getting up late, annoyed about your behavior, and worried about the consequences? Are you impatient to run a red light on your way to work? Are you complaining about the driver in front of you, why is he still slowing down even though the traffic light has turned green?
This is what turns stress into anxiety. Your anxiety is of no use at all. The traffic light will not light up the green light for you all the way just because you are in a hurry, and the driver will not drive faster just because you complain. Nothing can change the fact that you overslept and are late. .
You might say: Just because I have an important meeting to attend, it’s not surprising that I’m so anxious.
Is it really so? Not only are you anxious but you are always able to justify your anxiety. In fact, the thing itself is very simple. You slept in a little too late in the morning and now you are late, that's all.
Therefore, discovering the causes of entanglement and how to avoid it is the core of how we deal with anxiety.
2. Cultivate your resilience
No one is born with the habit of being entangled, entanglement is a learned behavior that we acquire. Because struggling is a habit, it can be changed. If we want to train ourselves to avoid entanglements and stay away from anxiety, we first need to cultivate our own resilience.
Resilient people don’t worry. To be more precise, resilient people don’t dwell on worries. They don’t dwell on worries pointlessly. This is why when facing the same situation, some people will be anxious and others will take it calmly. This book finds the answer for us: the fundamental reason lies in the difference in personal resilience.
What is resilience?
"Resilience can be defined as the ability to calmly navigate the rapids in life."
Suppose you are drifting in rough waves and have just passed through a section of turbulent water. After turning, you are greeted by a vast and calm water. At this moment, you can hear the rapids rushing ahead and the sound of water getting louder, but a cliff in front of you blocks your view, preventing you from seeing the next turn.
How would you feel at this moment?
Even if you don’t have to experience it yourself, you can imagine the relaxation of being in calm water, but what else does it feel like? Excitement, excitement, and maybe anxiety and fear about what challenges will come after you turn the cliff.
The river is the most appropriate metaphor for life. In the river of life, few people stay in the rapids for long, and even the most difficult years will eventually pass. Likewise, few would say they have been in calm waters. Life is a constant transition between calm rivers and turbulent waters.
Therefore, if you are in tranquility at this moment, then you will inevitably face the turbulence of life, but turbulence does not mean anxiety. From calmness to the rapid waters of the river of life, you may encounter Come with stress, not anxiety, stress is just a requirement to perform a task.
Stress can be good for people by increasing their motivation, but at least half of us will enter panic mode as the raft enters the next stretch of rough water. As a result, their rafts capsized and they lost their chance of crossing the water. This is an example of turning stress into anxiety.
Resilient people do not lose judgment.
At the same time, resilience is learnable, a skill that can be acquired through training and practice.
In addition, in addition to proposing "resilient thinking", this book explains the cultivation of resilient leadership for organizational leaders and how to use resilient thinking to improve team performance. It is worthy of reference for professionals.
3. Scientific and effective solutions
After clarifying the nature of anxiety and "resilience can be obtained through deliberate practice", how can we cultivate our own resilience and make it more resilient? Don’t you worry about it?
The book gives a four-step solution: from awakening to concentration, to detachment, and finally release. It sort out the theory behind it and guide us step by step to build resilient thinking and flexibly adjust ourselves to adapt to turmoil. , unpredictable, complex and ambiguous environment, break the habit of anxiety and become a highly effective person.
The first step is to wake up
People will also fall into sleep when they are awake, that is, the "awake to sleep" state. This daydreaming-like mind-wandering state, combined with obsessing about troubling things, can lead to anxiety. Hence the need to wake oneself up and remain truly awake longer.
"Awake" has different forms, the most effective is "presence of mind", that is, putting the heart or attention on the present moment, Instead of ruminating about past pain or worrying about future situations, keep your focus on the present.
To "think carefully" instead of "concerned".
You can consciously and purposefully make plans for the future based on the past and the present. This process is called reflection.
The second step, focus
Focus and arousal happen almost simultaneously. Unless you are awakened, you cannot concentrate. Know that we have the ability to stay awake and get things done with purpose and awareness.
Once you have "awakened" yourself, you can use the power of "focus." People's energy is limited in a day. The so-called "multi-tasking parallel working method" is nothing more than switching energy between different tasks, rather than cutting or spreading energy among different tasks.
Concentrate your energy on things that you and your team can control or influence to deal with overload, complex work and the ever-changing changes in between.
The third step, detachment
Dealing with detachment does not mean avoiding things. Ideas will always enter our hearts automatically. We should not block them out, but observe them objectively. , admitting that they are just ideas.
"Detachment" does not mean detachment, disinterest, or non-participation, but the ability to look at things objectively. Only when people are detached can they think carefully instead of being entangled.
When dealing with the stressors of daily life, almost all of which can be resolved into minor issues, it is even more important to maintain objectivity. To maintain the "focus" in the second step and the "detached" ability to look at things objectively in the third step, we cannot do without——
The fourth step, release
Constantly ruminate Pain and entanglement are of no use to the present or the future. Their consequences are only to escalate anxiety, lead to a painful life or even shorten one's life. After being "awakened", return to the present moment, control your attention, look at things objectively, and release distracting thoughts and unnecessary negative emotions.
Everyone faces different life situations. Maybe you will say that the principles in the book are correct, but is it so easy to put them into practice? For example, can someone with cancer stop being anxious so easily?
Nick, one of the authors of this book, is a cancer patient. Since the age of 25, he has been diagnosed with various cancers and has been repeatedly declared by doctors that he "doesn't have long to live." Now in his mid-30s, he has four adorable children under the age of seven. He still faces the curse of "not many days to come" every day, but his mood is not affected at all.
This book is written with heart and life. I believe it can help you calmly face the pressure in any environment, turn pressure into motivation, stay away from anxiety, and become a positive person full of positive energy. .
Anxiety is normal. It means that you have ideas and goals that have not yet been achieved, and you feel that there is not enough time, opportunities have not come, and you are not satisfied with the things or situations around you. In fact, Anxiety is normal in today's society. I am also anxious. The actual feeling is that I am in dire straits. I often describe myself like this. I am located in Deqing, a city near Hangzhou. I bought a house with a loan after the G20 in Hangzhou in 2016. I spent 500,000 yuan last year. Decoration, now I regret it very much. I would have bought another house with a loan if I had known it. Now the house price has skyrocketed... When I bought it before, it was 3 times. Now the house price has dropped. At the beginning of the year, it was nearly 4 times. Now I see Chaosi’s dream villa. Everything is gone. It's the way I like it. It has a private garden and a large terrace. Each room is a suite. It has two floors underground and three floors above ground. The style, location, and real estate are all the most satisfactory. I went to see it today. The price exceeded the budget by a lot. It cost 6.6 million. Blank, I immediately became anxious and melancholy... I felt red in the face, had a headache, a sore throat, and a bad mood...
If the anxiety is serious, it is recommended to go to the hospital for treatment.
Anxiety, insomnia, and depression are progressive and affect each other. According to research, more than 80% of patients with depression have symptoms of anxiety and insomnia. Anxiety and insomnia can lead to depression.
I know an old Chinese medicine doctor. His recipe for dealing with depression is to first treat insomnia and anxiety. No matter how serious the insomnia or anxiety is, it will take effect on the same day and can be solved for a few hundred yuan.
Anxiety disorder, also known as anxiety neurosis, is the most common type of neurosis and is characterized by the experience of anxious emotions.
Anxiety refers to an inner uneasiness or unfounded fear that lacks obvious objective reasons. It is an emotional reaction that occurs when people encounter certain things such as challenges, difficulties or dangers. Moderate anxiety can allow you to increase efficiency, prepare yourself mentally, and do that thing better. But excessive anxiety will make you feel breathless and make you feel nervous, painful, angry, and irritable. Long-term excessive anxiety can form an anxiety disorder (a type of neurosis), affecting physical and mental health.
Classification of anxiety disorders:
In the American diagnostic criteria for mental disorders, anxiety disorders are very broad, including generalized anxiety, acute anxiety attacks, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorders, acute stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
1. Generalized anxiety (chronic anxiety):
(1) Emotional symptoms. In the absence of obvious inducements, patients often experience excessive worry, tension and fear that are inconsistent with the actual situation. , this kind of nervousness and fear often has no clear object and content. The patient feels that he has been in an inner experience of nervousness, fear, fear, fear, and anxiety.
(2) Autonomic symptoms include dizziness, chest tightness, palpitation, shortness of breath, dry mouth, frequent urination, urgency, sweating, tremor and other physical symptoms.
(3) Kinetic dysphoria: restlessness, restlessness, irritability, and difficulty in calming down.
2. Acute anxiety attack (panic attack, panic disorder)
(1) Feeling of dying or losing control In normal daily life, patients are almost the same as normal people.
Once an attack occurs (sometimes with specific triggering situations, such as closed spaces, etc.), patients suddenly experience extreme fear and experience a sense of near-death or loss of control.
(2) Symptoms of the autonomic nervous system appear at the same time, such as chest tightness, palpitation, difficulty breathing, sweating, and trembling all over the body.
(3) The attack usually lasts from a few minutes to several hours and starts suddenly, with clear consciousness during the attack.
(4) When an attack is easily misdiagnosed, patients often call the "120" emergency number and go to the emergency department of cardiology. Although patients appear to have severe symptoms, the relevant test results are mostly normal, so the diagnosis is often unclear. After the attack, patients are still extremely frightened and worried about their condition. They often go to various departments of major hospitals and undergo various examinations, but they cannot confirm the diagnosis. This not only delays treatment but also causes a waste of medical resources.
3. Phobia (including social phobia, place phobia, specific fear)
The core manifestation of phobia is the same as acute anxiety attack, which is panic attack. The difference is that the anxiety attacks of phobia are caused by certain specific places or situations, and the patient will not be anxious when he is not in these specific places or situations. For example, fear of social situations or interpersonal interactions, or fear of certain environments: such as airplanes, squares, and crowded places. The onset of anxiety in phobias is often predictable, and patients often adopt avoidance behaviors to avoid anxiety attacks.
Treatment and improvement of anxiety disorders
Anxiety disorders are diseases with relatively better treatment effects and better prognosis among neuroses. For moderate to severe anxiety disorders, it is best to use comprehensive treatment with drugs and psychological counseling to treat both the symptoms and the root cause. For patients with mild or moderate anxiety disorders, they can be cured through professional and systematic psychological counseling. Guangzhou Hearing Bar Psychological Counseling Center has been in service since 2008. Based on the service concept of "professional, rigorous, considerate, and honest", it has helped thousands of visitors suffering from anxiety disorders get out of their predicaments. I heard that psychological counseling believes that people will have the desire to grow and will always be willing to become a better person. When patients with anxiety disorders find the hidden conflicts in their hearts, truly resolve them, and learn to use better ways to deal with inner loneliness, madness, and lost love, they can gain inner integrity, maturity, and peace.
Hearing Bar Psychological Counseling Reminder: Due to the profound influence of our living environment, we are always contrary to the person we want to be, so we have constant inner conflicts. We may use various methods to eliminate conflicts, but many times we fall into deeper fear, anxiety and despair, and develop neurotic problems. Faced with this situation, we must seek professional help in a timely manner. Professional analysis and guidance will reduce a person's feelings of despair, fear, and hostility, and help us improve our personality and become a more complete, more mature, and more peaceful person. Own.
Anxiety = dissatisfaction with oneself in the present + worry about the future
Due to the profound influence of our living environment, we are always at odds with the person we want to be, so we have constant inner conflicts.
We may use various methods to eliminate conflicts, but many times we fall into deeper fear, anxiety and despair, and develop neurotic problems.
How to relieve excessive anxiety?
1. Dealing with fear
We can try to regulate our fear from the autonomic nervous system through exercise and mindfulness. For example, jogging and yoga can increase dopamine and endorphins in the brain, making us calm and relax. Through exercise, positive emotional circuits in the brain will also increase, helping us resist fear. Many clinical trials and studies have shown that mindfulness has a particularly obvious intervention effect on anxiety.
2. Regain a sense of control
(1) When we feel fear, the object of our fear is often vague and chaotic. Concrete means that you describe this vague thing clearly and clearly.
By recalling when you felt anxious, in addition to the time, place, and people, what details were there, the moment you started to feel anxious, what you did and what you thought when you were anxious, etc. wait. Through these concrete methods, we can reflect and be aware of the entire event, so that the whole thing will no longer be chaotic. In this process, you can be aware of the whole picture and details of the whole thing, and you can be aware of your own emotions. When you become more familiar and understanding of yourself and the object of your anxiety, you will feel more in control and be able to eliminate your anxiety.
(2) Generally anxious people have their minds filled with all kinds of things and think about many things at the same time. When everything is thought and done together, it often becomes overwhelming. At this time, you need to prioritize all the things you want to do. Focus on completing one thing first, then move on to others. At work, we often encounter multitasking situations. We must ensure that “first things first”. Choose the one with the highest priority among all tasks, concentrate on completing it first, and then move on to the next one after it is completed. Do it one piece at a time. This will not only give you a sense of accomplishment when completing tasks and positively motivate yourself, but also help you greatly relieve anxiety.
(3) When we face some long-term and difficult tasks, our anxiety will be stronger. Then, the way to relieve anxiety is to make plans and break down goals. When making a plan, split it from top to bottom. First set the big goal for the entire project, and then split the big goal into smaller goals. Clarify the measurement indicators for achieving each big goal and small goal, the deadline, and the methods to achieve the goal, etc. Breaking large goals into smaller goals can make the goal clearer and more executable, making the entire task feel more controllable, thereby alleviating anxiety. Leave some extra time between each small goal and reserve time for emergencies. Otherwise, when an emergency occurs, you will become panicked and become more anxious. After completing each small goal, give yourself a reward, such as a vacation, a delicious meal, and a party with friends. Doing so can relieve periodic stress and anxiety on the one hand, and give yourself a positive motivation on the other. Encourage yourself to use more positive emotions and states to meet the next stage of work.
Only after experiencing suffering can we know that health is the greatest happiness in our lives. Any suffering that cannot kill you will make you stronger.
Let me share some ways to overcome anxiety
1. If the anxiety is severe and cannot be adjusted by oneself, then you need to seize the time to find a psychologist for treatment. Many people think that psychological anxiety is not a disease and they can get out of it by adjusting on their own. Unfortunately, they need to pay attention when they do not adjust well. Some people think that seeing a psychologist is a shameful thing. In fact, this is a stereotype. , Everyone in modern society has some psychological problems. There is no difference between mental illness and physical illness, and both require medical treatment.
2: Take medicine when it’s time to take medicine, and actively communicate with a psychologist when it’s time to communicate, so that the psychologist can prescribe the right medicine and help you get rid of your anxiety as soon as possible.
3: Active exercise
Exercise is very helpful in relieving anxiety. If you spend an hour running every day and sweat profusely, your body will secrete dopamine, which is a A hormone that promotes good mood and is great for relieving anxiety.
4: Accept your own ordinary imperfections
Most of the time, our stress and anxiety are caused by not reaching our imagination, and we constantly force ourselves to pursue impossible goals. Then comes the anxiety. In fact, not everything in this world can be accomplished by you. You must understand that there are some things that you cannot change, and there are some things that will not be rewarded for your efforts. Accept your shortcomings and change your mentality. Nothing is worth mentioning in the face of life and death.
Finally, for more questions that need to be answered, please refer to the watermark in the lower left corner of the picture above. Welcome to share and communicate with me on the official account: Listen before going to bed.
"At nine o'clock every night, those who understand love understand you better"
You are not alone on the journey of anxiety
There was once a survey on the Internet: Now Are young people anxious? What are they worried about?
Data shows: 96% of people are anxious, and 54% of them are anxious every day.
"Anxiety" has become the hottest issue in society today.
So, first of all, you need to know that anxiety is our normal state. Treat this matter with a calm mind and don't feel particularly anxious because you are anxious.
In the face of anxiety, what can we do?
1. Acceptance
As mentioned above, accept the fact that we are anxious and don’t be afraid of it. Appropriate anxiety can actually push us forward. We might as well calm down and think about it. Record everything you are anxious about, and analyze it to find out where our anxiety mainly comes from: family, money, health, and interpersonal relationships? Think about it, what is the source of your anxiety? Is there really no solution? What are the steps to solve it?
2. Decompose anxiety and improve control over things
Most of us are anxious because we feel that things are uncontrollable. We can decompose these anxieties and break them down into little pieces. I complete the small tasks little by little, and the anxiety becomes bigger and bigger in my imagination. As long as you take action and take the first step, you will naturally have ideas for the second step. Instead of sitting around and waiting to die, take action. Don't always feel that you have too many problems and poor solving skills. In fact, we are all the same.
3. Choose not to escape
Anxiety comes from dissatisfaction with the present and dissatisfaction with oneself. We need to jump out of our comfort zone and remain curious about the world. Slowly you will find that the world is really clear and there is a lot for you to learn. Meet these challenges, just like we play games to break through levels. The more we play, the more excited we become. If you think you can't get through, it may be too difficult. Lower the difficulty appropriately, or look for strategies online to see how others deal with this kind of anxiety.
4. Get moving
Moving can be exercise. When exercising, you have your own goals, your body follows your goals, and your mind can think about the things you are anxious about. As dopamine is released in your body, your thoughts become more positive.
When you are active, you can also do housework from time to time, and give up on the troubles and chores at home.
If you feel anxious, it’s because a better you is waving to you
‘Anxiety’ is a symptom of neurasthenia, a neurosis. A sub-health state manifested by insomnia, dreaminess, irritability, sighing, palpitations, fatigue, and low work efficiency.
Regarding this phenomenon:
(1) Face reality correctly, correct your thoughts, do not expect too much from yourself, do not compare, and do things in a low profile.
(2) Participate in more social activities, make more friends, communicate more, exercise more, square dance, take a walk, etc. to relax tension and relieve social and work pressure!
(3) If possible, you can travel together, get in touch with nature, observe the beautiful scenery to express your emotions, relax and release stress!
(4) Traditional Chinese medicine can be taken orally to relieve depression and calm the nerves. For men and women undergoing menopause, corresponding drugs can be taken according to different ages and symptoms.
(5) Acupuncture and massage of relevant acupoints.
Since you are talking about anxiety, you must have confirmed that you are (anxious). Seek medical attention in serious cases, such as being in a state of panic all day without any cause, being restless, trembling, sweating profusely, palpitations, etc.! I won’t go into details here.
We focus on self-intervention for mild to moderate anxiety!
1. Anxiety has no cause, but there are usually chronic environmental factors, such as disharmonious marriage (love) relationships, tense interpersonal relationships, high pressure in work and life, and facing promotion, employment, business, and livelihood. Running around, etc. This kind of pressure often exists for a long time and cannot be solved immediately, so it must be dealt with actively.
The most important thing to do is to recognize the relationship between goals and reality, that is, to do what you can. After all, it is unwise to achieve some so-called careers at the expense of health. .
2. Our personal power is always limited and it is impossible to do everything well. Knowing how to ask for help at the right time is an excellent advantage. Similarly, we can never satisfy everyone, so it is also important to fully mobilize the subjective initiative of the team, prioritize and arrange the order reasonably.
3. Planning is very important. Many of us don’t know how to plan. People who live and understand will not be embarrassed by external factors. We must distinguish between ideals and goals, haha! Long-term goals need to be laid out in advance, and short-term goals also need to be planned in advance, and risk assessments must be done to confirm the maximum loss you can bear. At the same time, it’s best to have the courage to start over! Know how to let go when necessary!
4. Even if the above aspects are done well, there may still be results that exceed psychological expectations. We are anxious! what to do?
Let me talk about a few principles: 1. Get a good sleep (I won’t go into the benefits of good sleep), have a reasonable work and rest schedule, relaxation training, and foot baths are good for sleep (serious treatment by a professional doctor is needed). 2. Exercise and fitness can help balance the neurotransmitters that regulate emotions in our bodies, and contribute to a virtuous cycle of physiological functions and metabolism. 3. Talk! It is very important to find a friend you trust to talk about your mood and difficulties, clear up the negative emotions, and if possible, it is best to go to a regular psychological counseling (treatment) institution to seek help
Finally, after the above If the measures still cannot alleviate the problem, you should go to a professional hospital for examination, diagnosis and treatment in time.
Divert attention.
① Do what you are most interested in. For example, watching sports games, playing chess, practicing calligraphy, playing mahjong, etc. Just do whatever you like. Pull your thoughts from one "house" to another "house" that you are confident and like.
②Do moderate exercise. For example: riding a bicycle, playing basketball, running, etc. Taking a brisk walk is a great way to distract yourself from anxiety. The purpose is to keep the skeletal muscles moving and the brain to rest. Let "anxiety" fall asleep.
③Read. As long as you can keep up with the rhythm of the book, it will be fine. Let reading replace anxiety and entanglement. In today's era of swiping mobile phone screens, don't forget to develop the habit of reading.
④Listen to music. Start with the melody of the music, and if you appreciate it, you might as well hum a few words along with it, the effect is very good. Developing the habit of appreciating music is not only tasteful but will last a lifetime.
⑤Do heavy physical work. If the above activities can't help you let go of your anxiety, try doing strenuous physical work.
Don't say you can't find anything to do, just move on!