Moderator:

Welcome to today’s space-time investigation. Have you ever borrowed money from a friend? Have you ever lent money to a friend? When you ask a friend to borrow money, do you find it difficult to open your mouth? When a friend asks you to borrow money, do you find it difficult to say no? They were originally close friends, but when it comes to borrowing money, Everyone immediately became embarrassed. Today our space-time investigation focuses on - what should I do if my friends borrow money?

Let’s first look at a survey: How would you react if a good friend borrowed a large amount of money from you? We conducted the survey through Sina.com, and 3,700 people participated in our survey in one day. Let’s take a look. Although I don’t really want to borrow it, I am embarrassed to refuse, 38%. Borrowing a small amount as a token amount, and being able to bear it if the other party cannot repay it, accounts for 36%. Finding an excuse not to borrow accounts for 14%. Lend it happily to others, accounting for 12%. If we combine it, we will find that 12% of people are really comfortable lending money to friends. In fact, 88% of people actually don’t really want to borrow money when their friends ask for it, but they can actually do it without borrowing money. , accounting for 14%, that is to say, those who happily borrow and those who resolutely do not borrow account for a minority, only more than ten percent. Even if you borrow a little bit, you will be prepared not to pay it back in the end. We can see that it still accounts for 1/3. What is the reason? It stands to reason that everyone is a good friend, and it is natural to give generously and help friends. Why are nearly 90% of people reluctant when it comes to borrowing money? In fact, there is a very important reason, that is, I am afraid that if I lend money to a friend, the friend will not be able to pay it back in the end.

Let’s look at the next survey. Have you ever lent money to others? Have you ever had an experience where the other party didn’t pay you back?

When we look at the results of this survey, it is quite surprising, that is to say, nearly 80%, 77%, of people who lent money to others did not repay the money smoothly. Sometimes it is a kind reminder, and the friend may have forgotten it and may pay it back, but sometimes the friend may have completely forgotten it, or simply refuses to acknowledge the debt. In the end, the friend even gets into a lawsuit for borrowing the money, and the former friend turns against him. Let's look at an example below.

In 2003, Song Yitai, a resident of Chongqing, died of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage. Relatives and friends came to express their condolences. One of Song Yitai’s middle school classmates also came. But after mourning, he told Song Yitai’s wife that Song Yitai had borrowed her ten Thousands of dollars.

Song Yitai’s wife Ms. Wang:

One hundred thousand, when I heard this data, I almost felt like I was going to collapse.

I said there is an IOU? She said no.

The female classmate of Song Yitai is named Yang Shuzhen. She has been a friend of Song Yitai for many years, a retired employee of a factory in Sichuan. Yang Shuzhen said that Song Yitai had borrowed money from her twice, each time borrowing 50,000 yuan. Yuan, according to Song Yitai, was used for stock trading. Because the two people were very familiar with each other, there was no IOU.

Yang Shuzhen:

What we said verbally was that we would borrow it for two years, and he would return it to me after two years. I trusted Song Yitai so much that I didn’t ask him to write a note.

Before Yang Shuzhen retired, she was an ordinary employee in the factory. He said that this 100,000 yuan was almost all her life savings. But regarding this loan, Song Yitai’s wife had a very clear attitude, and she could repay the money. , but bring an IOU.

Ms. Wang:

You said thirty to fifty, a few hundred yuan, without an IOU, but a hundred thousand yuan, can this be done without an IOU?

One hundred thousand yuan is indeed not a small amount, but for this loan, Yang Shuzhen could not get an IOU, so she made empty promises. Song Yitai's family also had some doubts about what she said.

Wang Zhuangzhuan Ms. Wang’s brother:

Did you see that Song Yitai passed away? Why don’t you just come and cover it up? You must have a basis for borrowing money.

Yang Shuzhen:

This thing definitely exists, how could it be a lie?

After private negotiations failed, Yang Shuzhen wanted to file a lawsuit to ask for money. She remembered that the second loan of 50,000 yuan lent to Song Yitai was made by herself to the bank and transferred to Song Yitai's family's current passbook. The court went to the bank to investigate. After obtaining relevant information, this was indeed proven, but the court held that this did not prove that she had a loan relationship with Song Yitai. Finally, after two trials over two years, the court finally ruled that Yang Shuzhen lost the case.

Moderator:

Since Yang Shuzhen did not have an IOU, it was difficult for us to confirm whether she borrowed money in the end. However, in real life, there are lawsuits and examples of friends who ended up turning against each other because of borrowing money. There are too many to mention, but there is a Jewish saying that goes very well: If you want to really lose a friend, then lend him money. Indeed, we think that when borrowing money, it is natural to have an IOU, and we will not have similar troubles in the future. But in real life, if your relatives and friends don't care about you borrowing money, can you really ask them to write an IOU? It doesn't seem to be an easy task.

Let’s look at another survey. If a friend borrows money from you, would you ask them to write an IOU? Those who don’t know how to do it account for 55%, while those who know how to do it account for 45%. This data tells us that in real life, if relatives and friends ask for a loan, most people will not ask their friends to write an IOU. Why? We can listen to what people are saying.

Citizen:

We are all on good terms. They are all relatives or friends. What kind of debts do we owe?

Citizen:

If you are a very good friend, it seems very unusual to write an IOU.

Citizen:

If you had money at that time, just lend it to him. I can’t accept writing an IOU anyway, or if someone asks me to write it, I think it’s okay. Awkward.

Citizen:

You want to save face, but you are afraid that others will think that you have a clear calculation with others.

Citizen:

I have realized this problem after borrowing some money for several years and not paying them back. I should still write about it, but I feel that next time someone borrows from me, it will not matter. Very good relatives and friends, but I still can’t say this.

Citizen:

If it is an IOU, that level of trust will be broken by this note.

In fact, everyone’s opinions are very vivid and expressive. Indeed, in the final analysis, it is a matter of face. Do you think they really don’t want others to write IOUs? But I'm afraid that if you open your mouth, we will feel that we are no longer close, that we don't trust you, as if we have lost all our feelings because of a friend who borrowed money. This is a concept in our traditional society. How do we do things like this abroad? ? We also interviewed two foreign friends.

Dr. Ron (German visiting scholar):

If I lend it to a friend, the first thing I will think about is what will happen when I get the money back, and this is true I think about it, and I think this is also a typical German culture, to think of solutions in advance for the worst things, which in this case is to set up an IOU.

Eric French student:

In France, if someone borrows money, you should proactively give the person an IOU stating how much you borrowed and the specific time by which you will pay it back. clear.

It should be said that our country is different from the traditional Western culture. What we pay attention to is family ethics, so we rely on human relationships to maintain society. We call it a human society. In foreign countries, the commodity economy may have developed earlier, and it is more of a contractual relationship. Contracts are used for everything, and business relationships are clearly stated. This makes it very embarrassing for us to ask for an IOU, and Foreign friends, if you don’t write an IOU, you may be embarrassed to talk to others. This is due to different traditional cultures. So in real life, if you don’t ask a friend for an IOU, what will happen if the friend doesn’t pay back the money? We conducted a survey. If you didn’t write an IOU and your friend didn’t pay back the money on time, what would happen to you?

The first is a circumstantial reminder, which accounted for 44%. Half of the people said very euphemistically, "Oh, when I mentioned borrowing money, there is still a sum of money that has not been paid back." Those who asked directly accounted for about 1/3. They don’t remind others, and they endure it for fear of embarrassment. There are nearly 1/4 people who still carry it to their death. Why does this happen? In other words, 68% of people actually say it very euphemistically, or do not say it. In the final analysis, it is still a matter of face. There is also an old saying in China called ugly saying. When everyone borrows money, the contractual relationship is very clear. , it can save a lot of trouble later, but in our real society, it is not very easy to do this. If you don’t write an IOU, or you are embarrassed to let others write an IOU, what else can you do? A lawyer gave us some advice.

Zhu Yonghui, lawyer at Beijing Jingdu Law Firm:

First of all, we can consider inviting some friends to eat and chat together and lend money to each other. If some disputes arise, these friends who were present at the time can serve as witnesses to prove the fact that the loan was originally borrowed.

Second, if the two parties talk about the loan and repayment through text messages, emails, or even QQ, MSN, etc. during the loan and subsequent negotiation process, Relevant matters, and if these contents can prove that there was indeed a loan at that time, they can also be submitted to the court as evidence in this case.

Moderator:

In fact, as long as the friends we want to borrow money from are more conscious, the friends can get along longer and the relationship between everyone can be more harmonious.