For children, the best family education is not how much achievements parents have made and how much money and resources they have given their children, but a happy and warm family.
1
Mother-child relationship of loving each other and killing each other
Qiao Yingzi in the popular movie Little Joy this summer was prevented from going to Nanjing University by her mother Song Qian. After 34 days of continuous insomnia, she ran away from home and prepared to jump into the sea.
Eiko shouted in the wind:
I don't have to go to Nantah, I just want to escape from you.
Even when Eiko jumped into the sea, Song Qian still didn't understand: Mom is for your own good. Why do you have to go to Nantah?
It was not until the situation became more and more serious that the psychologist diagnosed Eiko with depression that Song Qiancai realized that all this was forced by herself and that she was not a "qualified mother".
Song Qian often said: Mom only has you, and you are her hope. Her greatest wish is: "I'd better stay with you all my life."
This is a kind of love, but it is also a kind of heavy love, which will only make children breathless.
Qiao Weidong missed a lot in the process of Eiko's growth, and he followed Eiko after he came back from senior three.
Responsibility for children needs to be shared, and so does letting go of children. If there is no one to share, love can easily get out of control, resulting in not letting go.
China's parents' desire for control and the mother-child relationship of love and killing each other, we should not forget to save our mother while saving our children.
How should mom save it?
In addition to the awakening of self-awareness, letting go of the excessive desire to control children and having their own life, it also needs the strength of the father.
2
Dad lacks upbringing.
However, as far as many families are concerned, even if they are not divorced families like Eiko, there are still many fathers who are "absent" during the growth of their children.
Don't care, don't care, don't care. It is the normal state of many dads.
Reading survey:
In China, 42% of mothers are independent in their children's education, and 32% of families have grandparents who undertake the task of educating their children. But only 12% of fathers really play a leading role.
Many people say that father is like a mountain, silent and dignified, but he never knows how to accommodate.
Often hear this tone:
I want to take care of the children, too, but I'm really busy and have too much work.
If you want to earn money to support your family, of course, you should spend less time with your children. This is something you can't help.
It is not enough for children to be accompanied by their mothers. Besides, I have a bad temper, and it's my fault to make the child cry.
In many families, fathers do not exist.
Every child's growth surprise is discovered by his mother first; Every bedtime story of the child is read by the mother; Every time the child is ill, the mother will take care of him.
When the father actively or passively becomes the invisible person in the family, the lonely mother will inevitably fall into insecurity and anxiety, and wrap her children with suffocating love and anxiety.
The mother is strict in discipline for her children, but the children are ungrateful and constantly resist and run away. Let countless mothers collapse or even get out of control.
What is more "hateful" than not being there at all is that some dads will "grab" halfway and don't understand the situation. As soon as he appeared, he felt sorry for the child's hard work and accused his mother of her mistakes.
Many mothers are not overwhelmed by the hard work of raising children, but lose control in the absence and incomprehension of their fathers, and then collapse.
three
A father who takes the initiative to raise a child.
Compared with Eiko, space bound recovery is very happy, and the whole psychological and personality development is also very healthy, thanks to the correct family education.
Although children's temper is also very violent, they get angry easily, but they are always online. A "middle-aged warm man" is simply the savior of family conflicts.
Fiona Fang, who has high emotional intelligence and perfect communication skills, is really a lubricant for mothers and children. Her mother was angry and her father solved it rationally.
Such a family has also taught space bound recovery fan such an optimistic, independent and highly emotional child. Although his study is not top-notch, he always knows what he likes and what he really wants.
To a certain extent, it has taught children the rational way to educate their children, given mothers a sense of security in raising children, and given children a relatively free space.
In family relations, the role of dad is irreplaceable.
four
The best family state.
The best state of a family is that the mother is loved, the father is respected and the children are accepted.
Dr Emerson Agridge is a famous marriage expert. In more than 30 years of marriage counseling, Emerson discovered the true meaning of running a family and marriage-love and respect.
Hong Kong actress Ada Choi knows how to get along with this couple. Her husband Zhang Jinyuan is not as famous as her, but she never looks down on her husband and shows him off everywhere.
When Sun Li and Ada Choi were filming "The Queen of the Palace" together, they were interviewed by the media and couldn't help but reveal that Ada Choi "praised her husband" in the crew every day. In Ada Choi's eyes, the care of his family is Max Zhang's greatest advantage, and he also praises him for his handsome appearance, good acting, good singing and good dancing. "In short, he is all right."
After being encouraged and respected by his wife, Max Zhang finally "lifted his head" and won the Best Supporting Actor Award at the Academy Awards for "Master" and "Ma San".
When delivering his acceptance speech, Max Zhang choked: "My wife is Ada Choi. Some people say that I have to rely on her all my life. I want to say, yes, my life's happiness depends on her. "
When he said this, Ada Choi sat in the audience and cried into tears.
Ada Choi is very happy. Because of her respect, she won Max Zhang's deeper love.
The more men love women, the more women respect men. The more women respect men, the more men will love women.
Love is like this, so is running a family. A mother's happiness can't be separated from her father's company and understanding, and a happy home can't be separated from her father's active participation in parenting and acceptance of children.
Children become independent individuals from birth and need to be respected. Respect is equality, understanding, trust and sincerity, which means accepting each other unconditionally. Accept both the positive, sunny and positive side of the child and the negative, gloomy and negative side of the child.
However, accepting a child unconditionally is not to let parents satisfy the child unconditionally, but to care, respect and accept him unconditionally.
Life is not easy, and parenting is even harder. Every happy marriage needs an absent husband, and the healthy growth of every child also needs an invisible father.
I hope that every mother will be treated gently without hard support, and that every child can thrive in a healthy parent-child relationship.
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