1. Sheldon: Scissors cut paper, cloth wraps stone, stone kills lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock breaks scissors, scissors cut lizard, lizard eats cloth, Boo negates Spock, Spock vaporizes the rock, and of course, the rock smashes the scissors.
2. Sheldon: I am very aware of the way humans reproduce, which is messy and unhygienic. After being your neighbor for three years, I have heard too many unnecessary and loud calls.
Penny: Oh my God.
Sheldon: Yes, that’s it.
3. Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: There is no reason to cry. A person cries because he or she feels sad. For example, I cry because other people are stupid and it makes me sad.
4. Raj: I don’t like bugs, okay? They make me anxious.
Hilton: Funny, you're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs can give you catalepsy.
5. Sheldon: A little misunderstanding? Galileo and the Pope had a bit of a misunderstanding...
6. Ah, gravity, you unscrupulous bitch!
7. I am not crazy. My mother took me for a checkup.
8. Sheldon: I made tea.
Leonard: I don’t want to drink tea.
Sheldon: I'm not making tea for you, this is my tea.
Leonard: Then why did you tell me?
Sheldon: This is the beginning of a conversation.
Leonard: That was a bad way to start the conversation.
Sheldon: Oh, really? We are having a conversation, checkmate you!
9. Leonard: What were you doing at Penny’s house?
Sheldon: Well, we had a meal, played games, and then I spent the night there. Oh, you'll be happy to know that I now have a solid understanding of "friends of the opposite sex."
10. Sheldon: Hey, Penny,...I know you deserve sympathy now because of your raw physical desires, but how could I if you had a lifelong wrong decision before you? What about interruption?
11. Leonard: Sheldon, for the love of God, do I have to hold up the sarcasm card every time I speak?
Sheldon (curiously): Do you have a sarcastic card?
12. Sheldon: You try, but you will never catch me! Bazinga!
13. Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It seems like Penny secretly wants you to be in her life in an intimate, sensual way.
Leonard: Do you really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even though I was sleep deprived, I still managed to pull off my classic prank. Bazinga!
14. Sheldon: After going to jail, the biggest guy in the cell sat on a chair, and that was my seat.
15. Penny: I admit defeat, he is impossible.
Sheldon: I'm not impossible, I'm here! I think what you mean is, "I admit defeat, it's unlikely."
16. Sheldon: Good morning, Mr. Judge, Dr. Sheldon Cooper should answer on his own behalf. news.
Judge: I know what it means. I went to law school.
Sheldon: But you can only sit in traffic court.
17. Leonard: What is what?
Sheldon: Tea. When someone is upset, the cultural custom is to give him a hot drink. (Pause, he tries to think of what to do next, then he says awkwardly) "Okay, okay." (Another pause) What do you want to talk about?
Leonard: Nothing.
Sheldon: Very good. "Okay, okay" is what I really mean.
18. Penny: Sheldon, what you are saying is that we are your X-Men?
Sheldon: No, X-men comes from the X in Professor Charles Xavier’s name. Because my name is Sheldon Cooper, and you are my C-Men.
19. Sheldon: Interesting. When it comes to changing behavior, sex works better than chocolate. I wonder if everyone makes mistakes.
20. Sheldon: What’s bothering you?
Leonard: What was your first clue?
Sheldon: There are a lot of clues. First of all, it's late, then you're wilting, and besides, you're irritable...
Leonard: Yes, I'm upset.
Sheldon: Oh...I'm not usually familiar with these things. But I deserve it.
Leonard: Yes, you deserve it.
Sheldon (walking away and then coming back): Oh, wait a minute. Do you want to talk about something that's bothering you?
Leonard: I don't know... maybe
Sheldon: Wow! My emotions are running high tonight.
21. I am not crazy. My mother took me for a checkup.
22. Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: I prefer you not to ask, but I don’t forbid you from asking.
23. Leonard: What is Dogapus (dog octopus)?
Sheldon: An animal that is a cross between a dog and an octopus. It is man's best friend underwater.
Leonard: Has anyone studied this?
Sheldon: I plan to study it. I plan to give this as a gift for my 300th birthday.
Leonard: Wait, you hate dogs.
Sheldon: The dog octopus can catch 8 balls in a game of catch, and no one will dislike it.
24. (Playing 3D chess)
Sheldon: General!
Leonard: Oh, another general?
Sheldon: Obviously, you are not suitable for playing 3D chess. Maybe Candyland is more suitable for you.
Leonard: One more game.
Sheldon: It must be humiliating to lose so many games.
25. Sheldon: Penny, although I agree with the "many worlds" theory, which assumes that there are infinite Sheldons in infinite universes, I can convince you that there are no One is me dancing