It's interesting and philosophical to savor it carefully.
A freshly cooked fish smells delicious, but it will stink after a few days; Visiting other people's homes is pleasant at first, but it will be annoying if you stay for a long time.
This is saying: you can't overdo everything. In the words of Confucius, it is called: too much is too late.
Doing one thing too much and not achieving it, these two effects are actually the same.
Modern people like to call this "emotional intelligence".
The so-called high emotional intelligence, in fact, is to know how to measure, everything is not too much.
Appropriate restrictions are a brilliant realm.
1 Keep appropriate restrictions.
Confucius said, "If you are not in your position, you will not seek politics." Ceng Zi said: "A gentleman can't think about his position."
When doing things, in what position, do your own thing and don't care about other people's work.
This is an appropriate limit.
Be a man, leave some space for others and yourself.
If you are too smart, you leave no room for anything, or even cross a certain line; Then, people will neither be loved nor do things well.
During the Three Kingdoms period, Yang Xiu worked under Cao Cao, and he was also considered as the number one.
But Yang Xiu's final outcome is fatal.
How sad, how sad, how cool!
Part of the reason for the twists and turns is that Yang Xiu is expressing his ignorance and losing his proper limit.
Such accumulation naturally annoyed Cao Cao.
It is said that once, Cao Cao built a garden.
When it was finished, Cao Cao went to see it, but didn't speak. He just ordered someone to take a pen, write the word "live" on the door, and left immediately.
Everyone is stunned, Cao Cao. What does this mean?
At this moment, Yang Xiu stood up and said, "What is added to the door is the width. The prime minister thinks the door is too ostentatious! Too big! "
So the craftsmen rebuilt the garden gate and invited Cao Cao. Cao Cao was very happy and asked, "Who knows my mind?" Everyone replied, "Yang Xiu."
On another occasion, Saibei presented a box of crisp cakes, and Cao Cao wrote "One Crisp" on the box with a pen and put it on the desk.
Yang Xiu was very happy to see him. He picked up a spoon and shared the cake with everyone.
Cao Cao knew and asked why. Yang Xiu replied, "The box says' One person is crisp'. I dare not disobey the orders of the Prime Minister, so I have to do it. "
If Cao Cao was glad that someone understood his mind for the first time, he was not so happy this time.
You said that leaders' minds are always seen through. How does he feel?
Besides, this is not an ordinary leader, but a lean world!
Finally, because of a "chicken rib" incident, Yang Xiu completely angered Cao Cao, and he was not lucky enough to see the sunrise the next day.
At that time, Cao Jun had been stationed in Gu Jie for some time, and his food and grass were running out. Want to March, there is Ma Chao before; If you back down, you may be laughed at. I am hesitating in my heart.
One night, Xia Houdun asked for a night password. Cao Cao was eating when he got a chicken rib. He said, "Chicken ribs, chicken ribs." Yang Xiu heard the night order and told the accompanying sergeant to pack up and prepare for the return trip.
Xia Houdun was frightened and asked what it was for. Yang Xiu replied, "Chicken ribs, chicken ribs are tasteless to eat, but it's a pity to discard them. The Prime Minister hopes that this team will return to North Korea. "
Cao Cao was furious when he learned about it. Without Yang Xiu's defense, he ordered people to cut it down and hang it in Yuanmen.
Yang Xiu is quick-thinking and brilliant, but he is too expressive. He never knew to consider the feelings of the leaders. He embarked on the road of death, leaving no room for Cao Cao and himself.
And often, this room is very important!
Appropriate restrictions are a sign of a person's maturity.
People who know how to be measured make people feel comfortable and decent in communication, leaving blank space and not alienating.
This is a person's ability and the highest education.
Appropriate restrictions kept his distance.
Zi You said, "The shame of counting things; The number of friends is scarce. "
What is said here is, don't get too close to others, but learn to keep your distance.
There is a distance between heaven and earth, empty and high; There is a distance between the sun and the moon, and a distance between day and night; There is a distance between people, between respect and beauty.
It would be interesting to take a bus to Finland.
When Finns wait in line for the bus, the people in line will subconsciously separate a certain distance.
When getting on the bus, Finns will sit by the window first to facilitate others to sit. Try not to sit next to others until there are no more seats connected.
In the eyes of Finns, keeping a distance between people is a basic etiquette.
Appropriate distance will not give people pressure, but also leave themselves a free space.
During the Han Dynasty, Yan Ziling was very aware of this relationship:
He kept his distance from Guangwu Emperor Liu Xiu, and as a friend, he never crossed this line.
Peter said that Yan Ziling and Liu Xiu were classmates for several years that year. They are brothers who sleep in bunk beds and often travel together.
Later, Liu Xiu got along very well. When he became emperor, he wanted to invite his old classmates out to work.
But when Yan Ziling heard the news, he quickly changed his name and surname and ran to the mountains to hide.
Tired to find Guangwu Emperor Liu Xiu!
It was not until later that I heard that there was a strange guy wearing sheepskin clothes who fished by the lake every day.
Liu Xiu concluded that this person is Yan Ziling.
In folklore, it was not Yan Ziling who went to Beijing as a saint, but Emperor Guangwu, who was eager for talents, personally went to Tonglu.
It is natural to be happy when old friends meet again. The two chatted for several nights.
Yan Ziling knew he was playing the fool, and only said how he fished crucian carp on Fuchun River, how to steam wine, and where he was at ease.
Guangwudi wry smile, in desperation, had to go.
Yan Ziling was respected by the emperor because he was far away from him. If he stays with the emperor and works, I'm afraid the emperor's respect for him will gradually disappear.
As a friend, he has always been respected by Liu Xiu.
Some people say: "Life is like a ruler, we must measure it well. Feelings are like noodles, and the most taboo is to cross the border. "
Keeping a distance between people is actually respecting each other.
No matter how good the relationship is, if two people get along without boundaries, it will also become a disaster.
3 Appropriate restrictions are transparent.
Confucius said: "A gentleman is also in the world, but there is no Mo Ye, and the comparison of righteousness is also."
When dealing with people, there is no certain law that stipulates what to do and what not to do. The key is enough is enough to be in a dilemma.
Regarding the advance and retreat, Cai Gentan said: "Struggle is indisputable, and struggle is struggle."
People with appropriate limits will fight for it further when they know it is time to fight for it; When it's time to give up, take a step back and broaden your horizons.
Knowing how to be a man, knowing how to advance and retreat, can not only ride the wind and waves to achieve great things, but also retreat from difficulties and stop losses in time.
Waiting for Sean is such a person.
Sean is a Korean, and Korea is adjacent to the State of Qin. When Qin Shihuang swept Liuhe, South Korea was the first to be wiped out, while Sean was still very young. The young man is angry, and his country hates his family. He once assassinated the king of Qin in Bolangsha.
After the assassination failed, Sean hid in Xiapi and remained anonymous.
It was in Xiapi that Sean met a strange old man. The old man asked him to help him pick up his shoes and put them on himself. Sean did it one by one. The old man said he would give him a present at dawn in five days. After being "late" twice in a row, Sean finally got the Art of War left by Jiang Taigong.
Ten years later, the world is surging. As a consultant, Sean should join the WTO.
He helped Pei Gong to solve the crisis in Hong Men, recommended Han Xin, Peng Yue and Ying Bu to destroy Xiang Yu, remonstrated with Liu Bangli, supported the move of the capital, and advised the prince to meet Shangshan Four big noble to consolidate the country. This is the success or failure of Han's career
When the world settled down, Sean bravely retired, and he was able to hide and protect himself.
Sean was in such a dilemma that he left a much-told story for later generations.
People who really have appropriate limits are people who live a full life.
They know how to advance and retreat, know how to gain and lose, and swim freely like fish in the water.
In the rest of my life, may we all learn the highest level of communication:
"There are dense and sparse; Harmony is different, and beauty is beautiful. "
Mr. Zhou said: "Appropriate limits are a sign of mature love, and interpersonal communication knows how to keep the necessary distance between people."
There is an old saying: "Whatever you do is not a husband."
Know how to be measured, know how to advance and retreat when dealing with people, and take care of others when talking and doing things.
There is a passage circulating on the Internet:
Keep a glass of water away from your friends;
Put a bowl of soup away from relatives;
Keep a piece of paper away from your lover.
Appropriate restrictions are really a top-notch accomplishment and realm.