It's not easy to convince yourself. First of all, you should keep your inner peace and don't shoot blindly. Inner peace needs you to do:
1. Don't act under the influence of external factors.
2. Don't look at things according to subjective wishes.
Don't look at the world according to your own expectations.
4. Take appearance as the essence, without preconceptions.
5. Don't be influenced by related things and trust what you know too much.
6. Moderate persistence: Know that what works for you will also work for others. What makes you blind will have the same effect on others.
Equally important, you should learn to observe and listen, and capture more information to persuade. Observing and listening requires you to:
1. Listen to silent body signals
2. Understanding the implication is closer to the truth
3. Find the key points from the priority of the conversation: what you think is secondary is probably the key point in the eyes of another person. Learning to observe and listen to what the other person thinks is important can make you explain your arguments and opinions more effectively.
Pronouns will tell you what the other person thinks: the pronoun used by the other person not only shows what kind of response he wants from you, but also reflects how firm he is in his position.
You can get anything you want, as long as you can recognize everyone's characteristics and real needs.
Culture, language, personality, age, cognition and other factors have great influence on how individuals interpret information. Who should do it? Do you want to talk to the other person, or do you want someone to agree with you? Choice is a great knowledge.
"Know-it-all" is not necessarily a master of persuasion. If you have enthusiasm, others will be infected. Enthusiasm is something you can feel from head to toe, and it is irresistible. Enthusiasm can be accepted, induced and stimulated. You should sincerely admire others, not flatter them. You know, a key way to make others like you is to make them think you like him.
You need to "go from neutrality to opposition, and then stand together." A mistake is a mistake. You should explain what action will be taken to correct the mistake and explain the reasons for it. At some point, maybe you should find a credible spokesman to announce it. It is particularly important to note that the problem cannot be underestimated and must be dealt with in time.
You must be vigilant! Don't step into the "consensus minefield";
1.Ⅰ minefield? Don't complain or get angry
2. Minefield II? Don't look back, the purpose of looking back is nothing more than criticism: the purpose of your communication with others is to reach an agreement, not to admit anything or apologize for it. Your focus should be on something, not why you haven't done it before. Proposing possible solutions is a skill of "managing problems", which can shift the focus of communication from complaining to making remedial suggestions.
3. Minefield III? Don't judge other people's actions or ideas.
4. Minefield IV? Don't ask, "What's your problem?"
5.ⅴ minefield? Don't ask, "can't you be rational?" This kind of problem will only bring conflict.
6. Minefield VI? Don't point out self-contradiction mercilessly just to prove that the other person is lying, and push people to the wall: you can learn the wording of professionals: "You said A and B, but they are contradictory. How can we solve this contradiction? "
Mutual trust is an interdependent force and necessary to eliminate inevitable differences. Mutual trust is also an atmosphere, an atmosphere that can turn conflicts into cooperation.
Communicative actions are as important as psychological methods. A person's style and affinity are more important than IQ and technical proficiency. "Sounds right" is a cognitive problem, which is related to logic. "Feeling right" is feeling. Feeling is subjective, vital to human nature and closely related to communication style. Whether you want to convince a person or a group of people, the style and way of communication can have a far-reaching impact than the content of communication.
Situational charm lets you show your "magic" in communication. You are not a machine that can move and make sound. Others are more interested in you as a flesh-and-blood person. When you are in "personal contact" with others, you can wholeheartedly establish contact with the audience, attract the audience, show your affinity, show yourself, and let the other party know what kind of person you are, thus creating a comfortable and trustworthy atmosphere. Only in this way will everything feel right.
The atmosphere is wrong, and everything is in vain. Trust is easy to lose, but it is gratifying that trust can be rebuilt.
How to make the other person feel valued?
1. Let the other person know that you value him.
2. "I have been there": The feeling of sharing is an emotional sense of belonging, and nothing is stronger than the bond of "feeling right". win acknowledgement
3. Control the conflict, not the other party: When persuading, let the other party feel in control. If you feel that sovereignty is equal, you feel right. Sharing power gives people a comfortable feeling. When you are on the opposite side, both sides are fighting for power and profit. You don't want to control each other, but you want to control the conflict.
? "True temperament" is more influential than "mask". Showing your sincerity has a magical effect. Moderate weakness is more pleasing.
If you want to convince others, you must analyze the possible value and benefits of meeting their needs.
How to make a person interested in a sentence? All you have to do is, from ordinary sentences to perfect sentences.
Of course, speaking also needs to give full play to:
1. Specific expressions are more convincing than generalities.
The evaluation of onlookers will also have an impact: you must weigh the pros and cons, evaluate the facts, collect information, analyze and distinguish, and fight against reason.
3. "If I can, so can you."
Dress up as an authority figure
Why does Jinbaotang's advertisement only mention "affection"? That's just the bait it laid in advance. Although persuading others is your goal, don't forget to give them a step down. Because people need to be self-consistent and always abide by their own beliefs. Asking the other party to give up the previously announced position is asking him to contradict himself. Providing new information at the right time can make him give up his original position in an extremely elegant way.
For credulous people, resistance can gradually ease until it disappears. So you can find ways to reduce their resistance to you.
Ideas need to be refined and used well. Try to explain your topic in concise language, and any words that don't help advance your argument are harmful. Most of the time we talk too much. Not only did we miss the point, but we also told others more information that they didn't need or want to know. If you emphasize an argument once or twice, its influence can obviously be enhanced. If you exceed this limit, too many words will suffocate your heart.
Fight with wits, fight with wits:
1. Use the sentence "If"
2. Expand the possible scope
3. Redefine the problem
4. Analyze the components of the problem
Step 5 Find out the scope of the problem
The magic number "3" in advertising language: simplify the complex and play with your numbers. You only need to establish an extremely clear core argument, and then determine three portable points to support it, which is enough. Professionals put forward the following complex views:
1. Breaking down a complex point will produce several scattered parts, which you can call steps, stages or blocks.
2. After putting forward a part, immediately explain why this part is important.
Finally, you get a powerful progressive effect: put forward one part of the main point, explain why this part is important, and put forward another part of the main point, explain how this part interacts with the previous part and why it is equally important. This cycle goes back and forth.
1. Quarrel stifles communication, so use it with caution.
2. The master lets others make moves first, but don't rush to say it when it comes to the key.
3.5 key, gently open your heart:
Report response
From "Why" to "What"
What if ...
Statement query
What makes you believe that?
4. There is a way to refuse
1. Intonation, gesture and momentum are indispensable.
2. Eye contact is actually a spiritual interaction.
Softness is the best way to control the audience.
4. Write down the key words on the small note.
Don't let the audience lead you by the nose in the interactive session.
6.4 Various defensive tactics against hecklers: dealing with problems with ulterior motives; Grasp the theme; Preemptive strike; Avoid hostility
? Master 1 1 unique skills, and you are not afraid to fight again.
1. Concise: One way is to ask the other person, "What will happen if ...? "
Step 2 draw a vivid picture
You have the right to remain silent.
imitate
5. always pay attention to your tone
Step 6 be patient
7. The other party knows that you are listening.
8. Count to 3: You can answer the phone quickly and interrupt others. Before you speak, you can try to count "1, 2, 3" to give the other person some time to add more information.
9. Don't worry.
10. Control
1 1. Make a final summary and review:
Four questions can test whether the other party is listening to you:
Test 1: Is the other party making some irrelevant remarks?
Test 2: Did the other person ask some unnecessary questions?
Test 3: Is the other person asking questions that you have already answered?
Test 4: Is the other person saying "I thought you said …" or "You never told me …"
? How to seek common ground? How to put aside differences?
1. communication before the meeting: the best time to test the argument, find opportunities to communicate with the main decision makers alone, and strive for their support.
Stick to your point of view.
Insist on discussion
4. Asking questions leads to thinking
Attach importance to others
Keep eye contact.
7. Don't interrupt:
Wait patiently for the other person to finish, ask questions, and put him on the defensive; Point to the solution with the problem of precision strike; Don't dwell on the details, focus on the overall situation; Control one's own argument, pre-empt; First of all, point out the shortcomings of your argument and explain how to deal with it. Don't wait for others to question.
Support people's aura cultivation
1. Is this meeting really necessary?
2. Limit the number of participants
Set the tone
4. Participants introduce themselves: Don't just let participants introduce their positions or titles, let them focus on how to cooperate with everyone to achieve the "meeting goals"
5. Seating arrangement: Sit at the top of the table or stand in front of everyone.
6. Choose the best time for the meeting
7. Set goals as early as possible
8. Don't digress.
9. The meeting entered an invalid mode. Here's how to do it: restate controversial issues and summarize what they talked about. If the participants still can't reach an agreement, or it is possible to make a decision contrary to your original intention, then put this issue on hold for the time being.
10. Listen to the objections: If everyone has the opportunity to state their position, they are more likely to support the unpopular position first. You can force people to make decisions, but you can't force them to make promises. If we can let everyone explain their objections in advance, we can eliminate their hostility. Break down big problems into smaller ones that are easier to control. A short break can interrupt the previous conversation, which makes it easier for you to start a new conversation.
1 1. Record the main points of others' speeches.
12 voting skills: vote as early as possible so that everyone can vote often; First, vote on the points that everyone has reached consensus; Continue to discuss other points.
13. Create a good meeting atmosphere by creating a consensus range.
14. Arrive early and ask for support before the meeting starts.
15. Draw up strategies and tactics before the meeting to prepare for victory.
Don't forget those important cultural concepts, such as new people, interpersonal relationships, ethics and so on. These cultural concepts more or less define who we are. Being culturally sensitive doesn't mean that you should like each other better, because you can't be someone else, and it doesn't mean that you should make them like you better. There is a difference between "hierarchical culture" and "custom": custom is related to etiquette, while deep culture is related to each other's values.
"Soft culture" is better than "hard truth".
Time is both a resource and a tool.
1. One-dimensional time culture: Covered areas include the United States, Germany, Canada, Northern Europe and Western Europe. People usually only pay attention to one thing or part of one thing at a time. Their way of thinking is linear, clear and orderly.
2. Multi-time culture: Covered areas include Latin America, the Mediterranean, Arabia, the Philippines, India and Africa. People can deal with many things or all topics at the same time, and there is no need to end the previous topic before jumping to the next one. Their way of thinking is circular, flexible and responsive.
Personal decision or team decision?
1. Collectivism culture: People regard work as a way of life, not a means to get a better life. Correct is for the whole team. The driving force of the negotiation comes from the consensus of the team and will not make a unilateral decision. It is common to call the company headquarters for instructions. Asians and Latin Americans pursue collectivist culture.
2. Individualism culture: People think that personal relationships and quality of life are far more meaningful than work relationships. Completing the task is the first priority, and maintaining team relations is second only to this. Power is given to individuals. People attach importance to independent thinking and autonomy. A man's words are terrible. Americans, Dutch, French, British and Nordic people pursue individualistic culture.
3. High power distance culture: pay attention to authority, status, rank and difference. This difference may be based on age, gender, position, ability, education, and sometimes it may be based on relationship. Individuals with more power in the company can initiate and end conversations and decide who can interrupt others and who can be interrupted. They can make indisputable decisions. The boss is always right, because he is the boss. Taking over will stifle any chance to resolve the conflict. Latin Americans, South Asians and some people in Arab cultures believe in the culture of high power distance.
4. Low power distance culture: believe in equality and strive to make everyone enjoy equal rights. Team members will negotiate with each other, and the boss's correctness only shows that he is right. Americans, Israelis, Nordics, Swiss, Australians and Germans believe in low power distance culture.
"Adventure" and "uncertainty" in culture.
The degree of avoidance of uncertainty depends on people's attitude towards adventure. Different attitudes lead to different reactions and tendencies: whether uncertainty, unpredictability and fuzziness will make a person feel uncomfortable; Will the decision makers explain all the points in detail or will they make a hasty decision?
1. culture that is unlikely to take risks: people prefer formal rules, processes and standards to make decisions. The decision-making process is more organized, relatively slow and details-oriented. Areas that avoid high-risk cultural reports include Greece, Italy, Spain, Mexico, France, Portugal, Guatemala and Japan.
2. Adventure culture: People don't need much information, and relatively few people participate in decision-making. People will make decisions by intuition, as long as they feel right. The hierarchical enterprise structure is considered to be inefficient. Personal cultivation is a very powerful driving force, which makes people willing to take risks.
Does the other party have any hints?
1. High context culture: eloquence or charm is not important. People want to see your concern and attention to each other's relationship. It may be rude to regard the contract as a binding document, and it is likely to hurt the feelings of the other party. Coverage areas include: China, Italy, Greece, Japan, South Korea, Arab countries, Mexico and Spain.
2. Low context culture: Low context culture will tell everything, and there is almost nothing to guess. The information people express is all, and what they say and write is important. Both verbal communication and nonverbal communication are tedious. Since there is no implied information, more factual information should be conveyed through language. Everything you say is meaningful. Coverage areas include: Canada, Germany, Northern Europe and France.
Compromise is not necessarily the best policy. In order to maintain self-esteem, some cultures do not take compromise as a way to break the deadlock. This is the reality: everyone wants the discussion to go smoothly. Cultural sensitivity is to understand and discuss the differences between actions and feelings.