The definition of a successful life
What kind of life is a successful life?
We can list a lot of success criteria: happy family, successful career, good health, giving full play to one's potential, having goals and pursuits in life, achieving achievements in professional fields, gaining wide recognition and respect, making contributions to society, and doing what one likes?
Each of us has our own definition of success. Everyone has a different concept of success, because everyone's personal experience, values and understanding of life are different. And success probably really varies from person to person, and we all have to find our own specific success criteria.
We also have different success criteria at different ages: studying, looking for a job, marriage, career and educating children? Confucius planned different tasks at different stages: standing at 30, not confused at 40, knowing destiny at 50, obeying at 60, and not overstepping at 70.
My concept of success in the past was: to have a good influence on as many people as possible. The more people you influence, the better. The greater the influence, the better. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I know it's entirely out of ego (ego) needs. I worked as a TV show and host when I was very young. Many years later, I became a teacher. I found that being a teacher can more intuitively feel the influence I have brought to others, and this influence is far-reaching, which is much better than being a host there to entertain everyone.
I also think that writing a book can affect many people, so I wrote a book. Of course, it will soon be discovered that how many people you can influence depends on how well your book sells and whether you will speculate. I also think that movies can influence many people, so I study movies abroad and try to write movies.
In short, it is great to think that what you do will affect many people, and you feel great.
Later, my mind changed a little.
A friend of mine, who is forty years old, is frustrated at work and has no girlfriend. She is very depressed. I told him that you might not be as unsuccessful as you think.
Because I think that some people around me seem to get along better than him, and when they encounter a little setback, they are extremely anxious and prone to collapse. Compared with this, the friend who has a sense of failure in front can still talk to me calmly, so it is not too failure.
So I found that if we only rely on external labels, we basically can't see who is more successful and who is not. The key is to look inside yourself.
It is not difficult to test a person's success. Each of us can assume that you are 40 years old, with no job or humble position, little income and no boyfriend or girlfriend. In short, you don't have everything a person your age should have. So, how would you feel? What state?
So you can know how successful you really are.
In my opinion, true success is not career success in the secular sense, nor is it to influence more people in order to expand oneself. Are successful people successful? Some are, some are not. We know that many successful people still live in anxiety and anxiety every day, and their hearts are full of jealousy, anxiety, resentment, insecurity and other emotions. Such a successful person is naturally not a real successful person.
And many humble people are not necessarily unsuccessful. There is a cleaning aunt in our community. Every time she sees me and my child, she talks to us with a big smile. We met her in a fruit shop the other day. She just got off work and bought a bag of apricots. When she saw us, she immediately took out some apricots and insisted on giving them to the children. Now that I think about it, I think she is a very successful person!
Ordinary successful people like us can be seen everywhere!
According to my standards, a truly successful person depends not only on his contribution to society, but also on his inner state: whether he can still feel good about himself, feel safe, be happy, balanced, positive, not crazy, keep his proper style, be elegant, appreciate beauty, have the power of humor, and continue to care for and contribute to others.
Real personal success is not measured by money and reputation, but by the degree of your mental cultivation. Because even secular success, its ultimate goal is to exchange money, status and reputation for security, respect, self-confidence, and psychological balance and satisfaction. The problem is that it is laborious and unreliable to achieve inner balance with foreign things. Once you can't get these external things, or get them and lose them, or get them and always worry about losing them, then you can't achieve inner peace. Therefore, such a success is superficial, temporary and unstable, and it is hardly a success. At best, it is just a good game.
Real success is not afraid of the ups and downs of the stock market, the economic crisis, exposure, changes in trends, the decency of the industry, and whether the public will buy it. Because the real success is in your heart, and no one can take it away.
Having said that, I think of many old sayings: a road to poverty? 、? Don't rejoice in things, don't grieve for yourself? 、? Wealth cannot be lewd, and poverty cannot be moved. It occurred to me that the standards of gentlemen and sages described by the ancients in China were often considered pedantic by us, used by feudal rulers to fool the people, and called by sociologist Max Weber? Idealism with only aesthetic significance? Standard.
In my opinion, the standard of this gentleman and saint is closer to the definition of real success than the standard of successful career now.
I want to talk about my father.
My father achieved worldly success in his life: from herding pigs in the countryside to becoming a retired university professor and head of the Chinese Department. During this period, he made many contributions to the Chinese Department. The Chinese Department is an active organization, which is difficult to manage. A teacher said that as long as your father is sitting in the office, everyone will have a bottom. At home, he gets up early to cook almost every day. He is a hardworking, considerate and kind husband and father.
I'm not talking about these successes.
Now that I think about it, my father has been suffering from Parkinson's disease for ten years. Because when his parents went to Australia to play ten years ago, his hands began to shake when he wrote. Once on a cruise ship in Australia, he staggered and fell down. At that time, we laughed it off, and now we understand that it is a symptom of Parkinson's disease.
Now at home, his ability ranks last, after my daughter. My daughter speaks and moves more fluently than he does. She was able to push a wheelchair when she was three years old. She gives him fruit, crutches, glasses and TV every day, and often gives it to him like a kindergarten teacher? Class? .
Dad is difficult to move, sitting in a chair needs our command and dispatch, as slow as a spaceship docking. Going up and down the stairs is very thrilling. I say this is one small step for you and one giant step for mankind. Constipation is also very serious. Mom says others give birth faster than you.
My mother is impatient. She is 75 years old. It is inevitable that she will complain when she is in poor health. Nanny is a straightforward person with a loud voice. Sometimes she will say something loudly when she is in a hurry. I am busy with my children or my own affairs every day, often ignoring my father, and sometimes I have no patience.
And dad silently endured all this: physically and psychologically. He never complains, gets angry or is pessimistic. When you are uncomfortable, just sit with a frown. When you get better, look at us. He cares about current events and everyone in his family. He often tries to help us, but in the end he always helps us and is scolded. He doesn't talk much, but he often speaks amazingly. Yesterday my mother went to the morning market to buy his favorite corn. Give him food and ask him:? How's Mi Bao? Dad said: not as good as my wife. ?
Many times, watching his crutches keep shaking and watching him take every step hard, I have great respect in my heart.
Sometimes when I hold him, I will unconsciously enter his world, experience his every move with empathy, and think about the courage and strength he needs to mobilize every moment, which is often shocking. I think if I make a movie about his life, it will definitely shock many people!
I once told my father that all the knowledge in your life is for something else, just so that you can fight Parkinson's disease gracefully now!
As I said before, success means that you can still live gracefully without anything. Compared with my father, I am nothing. When a person can hardly take care of himself, if he can still be elegant, that is the greatest success!
Confucius said that seventy years old is not too much for what you want in your heart. That is to say, by the age of seventy, we should be able to really cultivate our own hearts. In this way, dad reached the standard of hole.
Later, I told my father this evaluation, and he answered slowly. This is not right. ? I asked why, thinking that I missed or made a mistake. He said:? Didn't do it. ?
Finally, I want to quote a definition of success that I like very much.
Emerson, an American writer and thinker, put it this way: he can often laugh and his heart is full of love; Can be respected by the wise and loved by children; Can win the praise of sincere critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; Can appreciate beauty; Can see the advantages of others; Can give yourself; Can make the world a better place? Whether it's a healthy child, a garden path, or your improved social situation; Can play, laugh and sing with great enthusiasm; Do you know that even if you have only one life, it is easier to breathe because of your existence? This is a success.
Famous aphorisms of success
1, the impossible may be realized today, and the impossible may be realized tomorrow.
I succeeded because I was determined to succeed!
No matter how cold the stone is, it will be warm after sitting for three years.
The qualitative change of any performance comes from the accumulation of quantitative change.
5. Ordinary steps can also complete a great journey.
6. Don't make excuses for failure, just make excuses for success.
If we want more roses, we must plant more rose trees.
8. A great man is great because when he is in adversity with others, others lose confidence, but he is determined to achieve his goal.
9. There is no despair in the world, only desperate people.
10, people who escape from reality will have a worse future.
1 1, making a little progress every day.
12, there is a road to success, and there is a reason for failure.
13, successful people find ways, unsuccessful people find excuses.
14, success and excuses will not be under the same roof.
15, I didn't get what I wanted, I'm about to get better.