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I have a 30-year-old brother who has no family. He often borrows money from me and never pays it back, regardless of his parents. What should I do?
First of all, you should clearly realize whether this kind of thing is good for you, your brother and your family, and consider things from a comprehensive and long-term perspective. I can see that you love your brother very much, otherwise you wouldn't know that he didn't lend him money again and again. You feel at ease with your brother like this, because you have not wronged your brother, but in the long run, you are hurting yourself and your brother. This is a doting on my brother. It can also be said that you are afraid of brotherhood (I don't know if you are a lady or a man, just think of you as his brother). As you can see from your simple description, your brother has asked you for money many times, making your brother think that you are his brother. He doesn't know how hard it is for you to make money, so he asks you for it if you have no money, because you have never refused him. Every time you lend him money, you don't persuade him well. If you lend him more money, he will take it for granted. This is harmful to your brother's understanding of outlook on life and values. He will form the bad habit of being lazy and idle, which will eventually lead to nothing. Why did you say he wouldn't do anything? Because his usual consumption is not obtained through his own labor. Once he lost your financial support, did he do anything and didn't know what to do? In this case, as long as someone pulls, he will go astray. You should get married. Your brother is not a small financial pressure for you, nor is it a discordant note for your small family. If your lover borrows more, there will be problems, because your brother is a normal person, and we can't find out why he depends on others for a living. If he is ill, it is understandable that he can't help it. But this is not the case now. Can your lover accept it? It will eventually hurt your parents. Can your brother find a good marriage without considering supporting the elderly? Good girls don't like lazy people like him. Even if they find a wife, birds of a feather flock together, it's not much better. You can sing big plays with your parents if you have nothing to do. If he goes astray, their parents will definitely be heartbroken. So you should refuse your brother's request at an appropriate time, but things can't make a 180 degree turn, which is not good either. If you refuse in person, I'm afraid your brother is not prepared. Step by step is a better way. You can give him a discount, that is, he lets you lend him 100 and only gives him 50, and you have to tell him your difficulties. For example, you have been in a tight economy recently, and you need money in some way. Also said that your wife is very picky about borrowing money. You can also let your lover complain about you in front of your brother. Sometimes you can go to your brother and tell him that you had a fight with your lover. Your brother asked you why you were fighting. Before your brother asked if it was because of him, you said it was none of his business. This will make your brother think it's because of him. If he insists on asking if it's because of him, don't answer directly, and then tell him that the world can only save the poor. We don't do this because we are stingy. I believe that if your brother needs financial support in some aspects, you will not hesitate to help him. I believe you also want your brother to become a self-reliant person now, which is beneficial to himself and your family, as long as we don't hurt anyone while achieving our goal.