Lin Binri is Lin Zexu’s father. He saw that the young Lin Zexu was often troubled by some unsatisfactory little things, and he would get angry and lose his temper because of it. His happiness and anger were all written on his face.
In order to correct his son's shortcomings, Lin Binri told his son such a story:
Once upon a time, there was an acute judge who was very filial to his parents. Everyone knew that he hated them the most. Those criminals who are unfilial to their parents in the world will be severely punished.
One day, two big men took a young man to the Yamen presided over by the impetuous judge and accused him of being an unfilial son at home. He not only cursed his mother, but also beat her.
When the judge heard this, he was furious and did not allow the young man to defend himself. He immediately ordered his men to beat him half to death with a stick.
Soon, an old woman came to report that two robbers had broken into her house and stolen. When her son discovered it, he wanted to turn them over to the government for investigation. Helplessly alone, he was kidnapped by them.
After checking, it turned out that the young man who was beaten with a stick just now was the son of the old woman.
At this time, the impetuous judge realized that his emotions and anger had been taken advantage of by the robbers. If he asked people to look for the two big men, they would have already fled.
This story greatly touched the young Lin Zexu. From then on, he paid great attention to controlling his emotions in front of everyone. In the film "Lin Zexu", the audience can see a horizontal plaque with the word "Controlling Anger" hanging in his study. This has sufficient historical basis, because he has always regarded "Controlling Anger" as one of his life mottos. .
It can be seen from this review that the Chinese people’s tradition of self-cultivation pays great attention to keeping emotions and anger hidden. As you can see, Chinese people are more reserved in their behavior and pay attention to their own emotional likes and dislikes. They believe that those with small emotions are easy to anger and those with superficial emotions are easy to be happy. This is different from European and American people who express their emotions and express their joy and anger in words.
Combined with Hong Yingming’s corresponding understanding, it is not difficult to see that people who are easily happy and irritable tend to focus on their emotional likes and dislikes when dealing with others, which can easily lead to errors in judgment. Moreover, this kind of inability to hide thoughts and emotions can easily be detected and exploited by those with ulterior motives. One of the lessons why the impetuous judge fell into a trap was that his city was not deep.
So, if a person wants to be able to express his emotions and anger in interpersonal communication, he must have the magnanimity to tolerate the universe and have enough psychological space for emotions to revolve. This is not easy to do. Arrived. Therefore, Lin Zexu must always warn himself by "controlling anger", which is also the result of cultural influence.
Don’t treat others lightly, it’s about treating others with a sense of propriety.
Don’t focus on love and hate for property, but a sense of propriety in receiving things.
With a good grasp of this sense of proportion, people can stop being obsessed with material desires and wealth, transcend the narrow and selfish outlook on life of "birds die for food, people die for money", and can maintain their spirit. sobriety and independence. Otherwise, you may become a slave to your property, or even die because of your property.
Liu Zongyuan, a great writer of the Tang Dynasty, once recorded the story of a man who sacrificed his life for the love of wealth.
The story took place in the Xiangjiang River where the water was swollen. A boat was overturned by strong waves. The people on the boat fell into the water and swam hard to the shore.
Only one man from Yongzhou, who usually has the best swimming skills and the fastest speed, lags far behind everyone. The companions in the water were puzzled and asked the reason, only to find out that he had a thousand large coins wrapped around his waist. His companions advised him to throw away the money and swim ashore lightly to save his life, but he refused without hesitation.
Soon, everyone else swam to the shore, but he was still struggling in the middle current. Someone shouted to him: "You are so stupid, you are too obsessed with money! Now you are on the verge of death, why do you need money?"
Stubbornly, he still shook his head and refused everyone's advice. Finally, he went to the bottom of the water with the thousand big coins and drowned in the water.
As a typical example of placing emphasis on property and underestimating life, the reason why he lost his life is precisely the result of his spiritual will being completely dominated and restricted by property. As a slave of money, he even forgot that precious life is important to everyone. Personally, it only happens once.
So, how to treat the precious treasure of common sense?
Let’s look at a story about the wise Zen Master Ikkyu.
Ikkyu’s master has a very precious tea cup, which is a rare treasure.
One day, Ikkyu accidentally broke the tea cup, which made her heart tense.
At this moment, Ikkyu heard the master’s footsteps, and he quickly hid the broken teacup behind his back.
When his master walked up to him, Ikkyu suddenly asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is a natural thing," his master replied: "Everything in the world has life and death."
At this time, Ikkyu took out the broken teacup and said: "The time for this teacup to die has come!"
The impetuous judge is not worthy of our imitation. The actions of the Yongzhou man are ridiculous, but Yixiu’s wit and wisdom make people smile.
Examples similar to this all show that if a person learns to control himself, does not express his ecstasy, anger, love and hatred completely on his lips or writes it on his face, and has a city in his heart, then it is very important for the individual to cultivate the correct attitude. Outlook on life, successfully completing the journey of life, and adjusting daily interpersonal relationships will obviously help.
Only from a communication perspective, not being happy or angry about new knowledge or old favorites will help you to control your emotions rationally, to view others correctly, and to view other people's evaluation of yourself...
If you don’t pay too much attention to love and hate for property, you will not go out of your way to covet property that does not belong to you. When allocating property, you will not only proceed from your own interests and care about everything... Just look at the possessions around you and me. Who among the people with good interpersonal relationships doesn’t do this?
Master Huineng of Zen Buddhism once said: "There is no difficulty in reaching the right path, only choice." However.
So, "Don't be concerned about people as much as happiness and anger", "Don't be concerned about things as love and hate", is one of the true sayings in life, and it has great guiding significance in life.