Lesson 4 loneliness and trauma

Lovelorn is the most boundless loneliness in our contemporary society.

Excerpts from speeches

We used to be a family society, so we didn't like loneliness. We define ourselves as a group of people, a social person, a person in friendship and a person in love. People's roles are all linked with others, which is our primitive inertia. In this way, a lonely person became a displaced person.

However, there is a high value judgment on loneliness in the modernist period. The emergence of large-scale industry and popular culture has made the whole social culture lose its original very clear creativity, and the things of popularization, moderation and universality have increased. Art, on the other hand, wants to pursue its own creativity, so it has a sense of rejection of popular culture and social culture, and at this time it puts special emphasis on a personality.

In literature and art, loneliness has become a positive thing. A person's loneliness shows that he is not in cahoots with others and that he has his own independence. What life a person uses to support himself, in another sense, is what he uses to accompany his life.

Career is not about size, money, but about what you really love. Sometimes we define love as a person. Once we break up with this person, we will fall into great loneliness, but if you still have something you love, and it is not abstract, you may find support and motivation from it.

But after all, nothing can replace human love and emotion, because it constructs a life and the integrity of a life. Therefore, lovelorn is the most boundless loneliness in our contemporary society. What to break and what to spend is a particularly important life test for everyone.

Everyone will go through a tunnel stage, and loneliness is your tunnel stage, depending on whether you can get through it. When you walk through a tunnel and then face the dark area of your new life, there will be a force inside you to cross it.

That kind of loneliness, a person has nothing to say at night, when it rains heavily, the eagle flies into the house, scared, nervous and uncomfortable, but slowly crosses over. Rebuild a new life by yourself.

In this sense, the awakening of loneliness brought by lovelorn love, the spirit of life and the power to pursue life are actually very powerful. Without the loneliness of lovelorn love, people will never realize this.

On the other hand, loneliness can also cause some trauma, especially the trauma of lovelorn, which sometimes exudes very dark emotions. When we were young, we often changed from love to hate. The passionate emotion that was originally red turned into bottomless hatred. Hate transformed from love, if not controlled, will become a great evil. In this process, people become corrupt and cruel.

Why is it cruel? Because there is a reason for cruelty, because you wronged me, so I want to get back at you, I can break through all moral norms. Everything I did was reasonable. At this time, people have fallen into a seemingly reasonable huge sinking, which is a place that needs special vigilance in life.

Many people will fall into emotions and get out of hand. There are many evils buried in the depths of human nature. Once its release is normal and reasonable, 100% will be released. In love, sometimes people become very bad, and there is such a collapse of human nature.

The fundamental source of many people's love is trauma, and love is distorted at this time.

One more question. Many people fall in love. Why do they fall in love? This is because they have been traumatized. Childhood growth experience, family, learning process, or social experience all have a lot of trauma, have no confidence in their own value, and feel that life has no prospects.

And love itself undertakes a task of affirming and confirming people. In modern social life, each of us has identity anxiety, and love becomes the proof of identity.

In many people's love, the lover becomes compensation for himself, and the fundamental source of his love is trauma. We need to realize why a person needs to grow up independently for a period of time in modern life, because in this process, we need to know our inner wounds and make them heal. Life needs to open new leaves and grow new branches and leaves to get a relatively complete life, and then love and love.

We ask too much, and we long for too many things, whether material or spiritual. In this case, our love has taken on too many things. Once married, the mutual demand is too great, causing heavy pressure, and then everyone has no ability to export, and each other is very tired, which brings great disappointment and great conflict.

For these potential needs, we should have a self-purification. The information environment of modern society, such as advertising, has transplanted too many desires into people's hearts. It deprives you of your subconscious mind and virtually lays a lot of desires for you.

Trauma is a problem worthy of attention. Psychologically, we should be a simple person and know what we really need. Only on this basis can we grasp love and what kind of people we should be with.

In fact, our loneliness now, in a sense, is also very valuable, because it can give you the strength to bear life.

After all, I'm busy, and it's midnight, and I feel more lonely in my heart. At this time, I am particularly eager to have a companion, and love is highly compatible with our needs at this time.

Loneliness itself sometimes makes people slide to love, as if love can fill this loneliness, but this is a particularly big misunderstanding, because two people are really together, and sometimes it releases loneliness even more than the loneliness you originally undertook alone, because it is accompanied by a particularly big disappointment.

When two people meet, they are so good and sincere to each other, but in the end they realize that it is impossible for them to get together in this world, and they also realize that survival and life are to be borne by themselves, rather than hiding in so-called love.

Generally speaking, if you are reluctant to part with someone and know that you will never see him again, there will be a very, very sad mood in your heart.

Just like in the movie "Lover", the little girl finally broke up with the man at the dock and cried on the deck in the moonlight, only to realize how much she loved him and that she could never be with him again in her life.

Two people embraced in the street, but finally chose to separate. This difference is not simple, there is a kind of power in it, which bears its own loneliness.

At this time, people suddenly feel that they can reach a realm, that is, they can live freely.

Sometimes life should not be run away. When I am lonely, I feel why I am lonely, so I am busy running away. Some people think why I am not in love, why I am still single, and how I feel. In fact, you should cherish your loneliness. Once you get your own independent existence, your own satisfaction and the sureness of your life in this loneliness, you will truly become a person who can bear love in this world.

How to get a few lonely years in life is really something worth working hard for. We all feel that loneliness is not good, and we always hope to get a lover or partner soon. In fact, in another sense, you grew up in loneliness, which is easily distorted.

Of all the wounds, the larger one is easily overlooked by us, that is, the one that is despised as the lower level.

A generation of young people should have their own courage and ideals. In particular, they should believe that loneliness and trauma can be overcome by their own labor. This is the only way out, and it is definitely not possible to rely solely on ideas and dreams. Don't wander too much in loneliness and sadness, but transcend these things, including love, in creative labor.

When excellent men and women meet, what they are most worried about is not that the other party is not excellent, but that the other party is too excellent and loses freedom. For example, if you meet a particularly beautiful and excellent woman, you think you should comply with her wishes. And once these changes happen, you will be particularly worried that you will become another person.

In today's world, labor has infinite significance. In the final analysis, it is specialization. One must be a professional in this world. Now is a world of exchange. If you don't specialize, it has nothing to do with the world.

If you need to go out, you must find different people to observe, and then from this point, you have a very solid and deep-rooted connection with the world. Your loneliness and trauma will gain a kind of peace and growth in this process.