Adjusting your mood first is the best way to make a decision. In fact, life is very long, and it is not a choice that determines life. You can also be a first-class student in a second-rate university, and opportunities are everywhere. The key is whether you can grasp it. You said you tried to repeat it, but you chickened out. Does this mean that your heart is not firm enough? There is no winning result in the world, only those who dare to face reality and difficulties. You will only waste your time if you go in and out like this and hesitate.
No matter what your decision is, I hope you make a decision after careful consideration and stick to it. Good luck!