"I set a lot of goals for myself, and they have all been realized one by one. My career was very successful, but I sacrificed my personal and family happiness. Is it worth it? " "I have too many things to do, but I don't have enough time. I feel nervous and hurried every day. I can't live an ideal full and comfortable life, and I have no choice ... ""I have wealth and a sense of accomplishment, but I will lose my inner peace ... "This is undoubtedly a portrayal of the lives of many outstanding people.
Stephen Covey's "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" tells us that only a career can be half successful, and only the harmonious development of other aspects of life, such as career, family, interpersonal relationship and personal growth, can be truly successful. The author advocates that people of insight should bid farewell to old habits: people's actions are always repetitive, but to be outstanding, it is not just a single action, but depends on good habits. If you want to improve yourself and win the revolutionary effect, you must start from the concept, temporarily sacrifice your immediate comfort and interests, establish the idea of overcoming inertia, and "practice from the inside out." It can be said that ideas are the basis of attitude and behavior, ideas determine behavior, behavior forms habits, habits affect our success or failure, and success is actually caused by habits.
When do you kill the goose that lays the golden egg?
Aesop's fable tells a story: one day, a poor farmer found a shiny egg in the henhouse. What surprised him even more was that the egg was pure gold. Since then, the farmer has got a golden egg from the henhouse every day. However, when he became richer, he became so greedy that he didn't have the patience to wait for only one golden egg every day. He wanted to get all the gold in the chicken at once, so he killed the chicken and found nothing.
In our life and career, things like stupid farmers sacrificing productivity (chickens) to increase production (golden eggs) often occur. We tend to care more about efficiency than effectiveness, and ignore efficiency in order to improve efficiency, which undermines our ability to achieve results. Only when the output and capacity are balanced can we achieve excellent efficiency. In daily life, there are many examples to prove this truth. For example, you used to stay up late because you wanted to do more things, and as a result, you were exhausted and unwell, but if you have a good sleep, you can do more things energetically the next day. The balance between output and productivity is the essence of efficiency, which is universally applicable and the basis of seven habits of successful people.
Habit 1: Don't expect anyone to push you away.
Who will push you away if you don't move forward? Therefore, a proactive attitude is the principle to achieve personal goals.
We often say, "I won't ... because of heredity", "I'm late because of ...", "I didn't finish my plan because of ... and so on. We are always looking for excuses or complaining, and we consume our lives in dissatisfaction. The difference between humans and animals is that humans can actively create and realize their dreams to improve our quality of life. Therefore, effective people are responsible for their own actions and life choices, and choose their own attitudes and methods to deal with the external environment; They are committed to what they can control, rather than passively worrying about what they can't control or are difficult to control; They improve their efficiency through their own ability, thus expanding their scope of concern and influence.
A positive attitude can give you "freedom of choice". Although we cannot control the objective environment, we can choose how to react to the objective reality. The positive meaning is not only taking action, but also representing a responsible attitude towards yourself. Personal behavior depends on itself, not the external environment, and people have the ability and responsibility to create a good external environment.
Habit 2: Be loyal to your life plan.
We are often lost on the road of life, and our lives are consumed by wandering and being lost. Efficient people know how to design their own future. They carefully plan what kind of people they want to be, what kind of things they want to do and what kind of people they want to have, and write them down clearly as a decision guide. So "starting from the finish line" is the principle of self-leadership. This can ensure that your actions and goals are consistent and are not influenced by others or the external environment. We call this written plan "mission statement".
Any existing social organization needs a "mission statement", and any enterprise or individual is no exception. The "mission statement" needs to be evaluated in stages and constantly revised and improved.
Go all out after setting a goal, which is what we call doing the right thing at the right time and doing it right. Why do many people feel frustrated when they succeed? Many people have not found the ultimate goal of life when they are working hard, but are busy for the sake of being busy. They have never understood what they want in their hearts, and have never examined their life creed: What are you going to do? What is the most important thing in your life? What is the focus of your life? Only by establishing a life goal that conforms to values can we gather our willpower, go all out and put it into practice persistently, and get the greatest satisfaction from our hearts.
Habit 3: It is more difficult to choose not to do something.
Everyone's time is limited, so do important things, that is, things that you think are valuable and contribute to your life value and highest goals; Do less urgent things, that is, things that you or others think need to be solved immediately. The greatest contribution of the fire brigade should be to do a good job in fire prevention, not just to be busy fighting fires everywhere. So "priority" is the principle of self-management.
Effective people will only have some very important emergencies and crises that need to be dealt with immediately. They will focus on important but not urgent things to keep the balance between efficiency and access rate.
"Effective management" is the key management that puts the most important things first. After deciding what is the key, leaders should grasp the key and always put it in the first place to avoid being influenced by feelings, emotions or impulses. If you want to concentrate on the current top priority, you must first get rid of the secondary things and dare to say "no".
Habit 4: the era away from the arena
People who know how to benefit others and themselves regard life as a stage for cooperation, not an arena. Most people often use the dichotomy when they are in trouble: either strong or weak, or win or lose. In fact, the world has given everyone enough room to stand on, and the gains of others are not their own losses. Therefore, "win-win thinking" has become the principle of interpersonal relationship.
We have participated in various competitions and exams since childhood, and cultivated a competitive mentality that you win and I lose. Imagine, who is willing to give up in the game? Establishing win-win thinking means constantly seeking mutual benefit in interpersonal communication in order to reach an agreement that both sides are satisfied with and committed to cooperation.
People with win-win thinking often have three human qualities: integrity, maturity and rich mentality. They are loyal to their feelings, values and commitments, have the courage to express their thoughts and feelings, can treat other people's thoughts and experiences with an open-minded and considerate attitude, and believe that the world has enough development resources and space for everyone to share.
The formation of the concept of benefiting others and benefiting oneself is based on honesty, maturity and openness. Open-minded mind comes from personal lofty values, self-confidence and sense of security, so I am not afraid to share fame and fortune with others, so I am willing to try unlimited possibilities, exert my creativity and have a wide choice.
Habit 5: Communicate with empathy.
If an ophthalmologist provides glasses for a patient, the first thing is to take off the glasses and let the patient try them on. The reason is: "I have worn it for more than ten years and the effect is very good. I'll give them to you. Anyway, I have another pair at home. " Then, everyone knows that this will not work; If the doctor still says, "I'm dressed well, try again." Don't panic. " Everything the patient sees is distorted, and the doctor repeatedly said, "As long as you have confidence, you will definitely see it." That's really ridiculous. We often say that when things happen, we should take care of each other. Therefore, "know yourself and yourself" is the principle of communication.
Who dares to learn the doctor's prescription before diagnosis? But when communicating with people, we often make such indiscriminate and jumping to conclusions. Therefore, it must be emphasized that "understanding others" and "expressing yourself" are indispensable elements in interpersonal communication. First of all, know yourself and yourself, which is the key to effective interpersonal communication. We should change our tendency to suggest or solve problems in a hurry.
It is necessary to cultivate the communication habit of "empathy". If you want to understand others, you must first understand each other. Everyone wants to be understood and eager to express, but often ignores listening. As we all know, effective listening can not only obtain extensive and accurate information, but also contribute to the accumulation of feelings between the two sides. When we are trained to grasp ourselves, maintain peace of mind, resist external interference and learn from others' opinions, our interpersonal relationship will be by going up one flight of stairs.
Habit 6: 1+ 1 can be greater than 2.
Integration is the most powerful way to deal with obstacles to growth and change. Help is usually a positive, reasonable, conscious and economic force; On the contrary, resistance is negative, illogical, emotional and unconscious. The consequence of not trying to eliminate the resistance is to apply force to the spring, and the result is still to bounce. If we combine the principles of win-win thinking, transposition communication and integration of comprehensive effects, we can not only resolve the resistance, but even turn it into help. "Integration and comprehensive effect" is the principle of creative cooperation.
The cooperation of brainstorming is extremely powerful. Many natural phenomena show that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. When different plants grow together, their roots will be intertwined, which will improve their quality, and plants will flourish more than plants growing alone; The strength that two bricks can bear is greater than the sum of their respective strengths. These principles also apply to people, but there are exceptions. Only when everyone is open-minded and respects differences with an accepting attitude can we unite as one.
Habit 7: Live a balanced life.
Body, mind and will are the basis for us to achieve our goals. Therefore, regular physical and mental exercise will make us accept greater challenges, and meditation and introspection will make people's intuition more and more sensitive. When we improve these two aspects in a balanced way, we strengthen the effectiveness of all habits. Only in this way can we grow, change and finally succeed.
The most worthwhile investment in life is to hone yourself. Living and working on your own, so you are the most precious wealth. Work itself can not bring people a sense of economic security, but it has good thinking, learning, creativity and adaptability. In order to make yourself invincible; Having wealth does not mean having eternal economic security, but having the ability to create wealth is truly reliable.
These seven habits complement each other. The first three habits are our own. To set a goal, we must go all out, focusing on how to carry out personal cultivation, from dependence to independence, and achieve "personal success"; The fourth, fifth and sixth habits, namely, building a win-win situation, transposition communication and brainstorming, will promote team communication and cooperation; The seventh habit covers the first six and urges us to improve physically and mentally. By cultivating these habits, we can make substantial changes step by step and become truly efficient people.