Previously, I used the anime material of "The Writer and the Alchemist" to cut a video about "Osaru Dazai acting like a baby". Recently, in the comment section of a video I posted to a lofter, there was this comment:

"If Dazai Osamu were alive today, no one would like him. No one can understand what a person really is. Like. Most people can only listen to his deeds. When people heard that Osamu Dazai had a very messy private life and was looking for women everywhere, no one would like him."

At that time, I thought that this was another pairing. Dazai Osamu's hearsay is just like the character pictures of "Bungou Stray Dogs" on Bilibili. The titles contain words such as "scumbag" and "pleasant personality", which are almost the same. When introducing real-life literary giants, He had three replies to my reply:

“He certainly doesn’t look that bad compared to worse people, but he looks terrible compared to most normal people. Anyway. It can't change his bad character, and what can his wife say at that time? It's simply impossible to make a fuss."

"Put your filter on. Take it off. In real life, there are many people who are more sensitive and fragile than him, but in the end, no one in the world can truly empathize with him. It’s just because there are too many anime and so on. You are so obsessed with anime. The love of the character fell on this three-dimensional person. "

"That's why I love Wu Jiwu. Even if he does some bad things, he will still be very cute in your opinion. If he lives to this day, he will definitely. Many people hate him. He has a wife and children at home, and he is looking for women from outside. He is so depressed that he commits suicide every day. The three comments were almost heartbreaking, and I couldn't help but feel sad.

Indeed, I know the real-life writer Osamu Dazai from anime, but what I really like about the real-life writer Osamu Dazai is actually more related to his works.

I have known the writer Osamu Dazai for a long time, but because I don’t like literary works, I will not read his books. But in 2019, a new show called "The Writer and the Alchemist" appeared on the list of new shows on station B. This is where I learned about Osamu Dazai and many Japanese writers.

My initial feelings for Osamu Dazai in "Bun Lian" were just that I liked such an anime character, just like I liked Sasuke when I was following "Naruto" and watching "The Seven Heroes of Rainbow Cat and Blue Rabbit" 》I like Sally like this. But in the 9th episode of the anime, "Unqualified in the World (Part 2)", I really got to know the work "Unqualified in the World" for the first time.

Part of the content of "Disqualification in the World" was made in the anime, and Ye Zang disguised himself as an ordinary person, never revealing his true feelings, often in order to win the attention of others and be noticed. , maybe he was also afraid of being alone and deliberately pretended to be a clown. His fear was revealed by Zhuyi who was pretending to be a corrosor, and then the corrosive "spoiled" the whole story. I couldn't help but feel sad, as if I was watching another smarter one. Same as myself.

After that, I first bought two novels by Osamu Dazai, "Disqualification in the World" and "Girl Disciple".

I was already a college student at that time, and my parents were not people who paid much attention to novels. Even if they knew that I had bought the novel, they just helped me get it without asking too much. There is no situation like what some netizens mentioned in the past, where the parents took it away after checking it out on Baidu.

The first novel I read was "A Disqualification in the World". It was a self-study class at school. After class, my friend and I went to eat outside the school. She was surprised that I read "A Disqualification in the World":< /p>

"I watched "The Unfit" when I was in high school, but I didn't finish it because it felt too depressing when I watched it."

When I watched it, I didn't. It feels too depressing, but more of a feeling of understanding towards Ye Zang. Even though he fell later, his mood is more sad.

Later I finished reading "The Disqualification of the World". In fact, I didn't feel too much depression. I just felt a sense of relief that "the matter is finally over". When I recalled the plot of the book later, I felt Very sad.

Before the recent winter vacation, the school's "Introduction to Literature" class had a final assignment to replace the final exam. We were asked to choose a work at random and add knowledge points from "Introduction to Literature" to write a paper. It was like a coincidence. , I chose "Disqualification in the World", and the first half of the title is "I am not a lost god".

Reading "Disqualification in the World" again, I broke my guard.

Because I found that for the second time, I actually saw myself in Ye Zang.

I am almost a victim of being out of tune with the surrounding environment. When I went to high school, my roommates looked in disbelief: "Is this really a high school in Guangzhou?" Bad high schools exist in all provinces and cities. Even if Guangzhou's economy is very good, there are many outsiders coming here. Same as part-time job.

There are several well-known rules in high school: don’t fall in love early, don’t be late and leave early, don’t use mobile phones in school or they will be confiscated, listen to the class carefully, don’t cheat... Although these rules make people feel uncomfortable. I am comfortable, but I have done it all, but I have never been a good student. I always thought that I was in the middle and lower reaches of my studies, but when I recalled it, I found that there was another reason.

When I was in high school, when walking on the playground or eating in the canteen, I would often see several young couples who I knew or didn't know.

During class, you can often hear people around you whispering or playing with their mobile phones in the drawer.

During morning reading, if the teacher or prefect does not come, no one will read, and the person who reads loudly is even said to be stupid.

During the period before evening self-study, some people would privately use the school’s computer equipment to play movies.

After roll call in the dormitory at night, the dormitory manager would often turn on a small desk lamp and play on his mobile phone to chat, and he couldn't sleep at all.

After every exam, I can always hear someone bragging that they cheated, or saying that they saw others cheating by passing notes.

Sometimes during class, you can see several girls nearby chatting about calcium tablets and saying, "I think the European and American ones are bigger" and the like. They had never received sex education at that time. To me, it's a very naughty thing.

When selecting awards for top students, best class cadres, etc., the class teacher told us to vote anonymously, and the minority obeyed the majority. In fact, it relied on interpersonal relationships and canvassing for votes.

......

There is so much that can be said about high school. The so-called people who abide by school rules are actually abnormal in the eyes of most students. After my mother heard what I said, she blamed me in turn: "You are not alert enough. What's wrong with them if they want to copy their homework?" It will be difficult for people like them to get out of society in the future."

But I am not a forbearing dragon king. There is no "three-year period" in the world for me to wait, and I can't wait until that time.

My situation in high school was that I didn’t fit in with the people around me, so I didn’t have many friends. But I am a dormitory student, and being locked up 24 hours a day is the same as being in jail. It may be worse than being in jail. Often the subject of ridicule.

Originally I thought it was okay to be alone, and they were not my friends. But one time, after one of my roommates deliberately said that I liked a certain boy in the class, the whole dormitory made very borderless jokes that made me feel like crying, including the students from next door who came to the door. So, I had no choice but to join them, and then I acted like "Zhang Yixing: What a bad luck".

My roommates at that time were all very star-chasing, so I just said that I just had a good impression of Zhang Yixing as "I like Zhang Yixing very much, he is so handsome and he is so cute", but in fact, among them An EXO group that my roommate likes was standing together, and I couldn’t tell for sure which one Zhang Yixing was. They showed me a photo of Zhang Yixing’s wet body and abdominal muscles during a stage performance that was posted on Twitter at the time. I also I was thinking with a blank look on my face: "Should I be excited at this time? How do people who lick their abs behave?"

Although this situation is more like "The Setting Sun" than Ye Zang. His younger brother Naoji:

“I want to be vulgar, powerful, even powerful and brutal. I think this is the only way to become a friend of the people. Drinking alone will not work. No matter when , I have to make myself dizzy. For this, I have no choice but to use anesthesia. I must forget my family, I must rebel against my father's blood, I must abandon my mother's elegance, and I must be indifferent to my sister. I don’t think I can get a ticket to enter the public room.”

At that time, I was just more crazy than before I joined the group. It was finally summer vacation, and I really couldn’t bear to be in that kind of situation. After living in such an environment for a year, I told my parents: "I want to go to a better environment to prepare for the college entrance examination, so I can pass it to a repeat school outside." What he said was actually the truth, but it was a higher priority for me. What I wanted was to escape that crazy environment. I did review seriously, but I just didn’t take the undergraduate course in the college entrance examination.

My college classmates also said: "High school is an isolated and hard-hit area."

After some people know my experience, they will blame me, "You are too weak. You should beat her up", "My fate is up to me, the worst is to die together", "How do you know there is no help if you don't go to the teacher? You deserve it if you don't go to the teacher and let yourself be bullied"... ..There is really no way to explain this kind of thing. Also quoted from Naoji:

"I think they are all those who accuse me of committing suicide and say that I have to live no matter what, but do not give me any help and just criticize me complacently. A big shot who can persuade His Majesty to open a fruit shop without a blush or a heartbeat. "

Residential high school is a place where school rules trump social laws. I often see on the Internet that it is illegal for popular science schools to accept mobile phones, but the school rules also prohibit mobile phones. If you go to school, you have to abide by the rules. And in a place where you have no access to the outside world, all the information you receive can become a tool to control you.

I can’t explain clearly about the teacher’s question. Let’s talk about the Teaching Qualification Examination. Among the review questions in the interview, one of the questions asked two students how to resolve a conflict. The standard answer is to first determine who is right and who is wrong and then solve the problem in a textbook-like way.

But my 12 years of experience in primary and secondary schools tells me that teachers really don’t do this. Responsible teachers have bad methods or the bullying classmates are promiscuous and may even cause harm to the students. Irresponsible teachers will treat it as such. Can't hear or "Did he really do it? Think about it carefully, otherwise you will slander your classmates" to shirk responsibility, so in the end you can only choose to maintain the status quo to avoid the situation getting worse. How can living in school be the same as being imprisoned? question! ?

I’m not sure why Ye Zang pretends to be a clown. It’s just a personal opinion. He’s afraid of being alone and out of tune with his surroundings, and will become the target of being bullied. If he’s different from others, he’ll think he’s at fault, and in the end he’ll “lose it.” qualifications as a human being”. However, in Dazai's novels, what I read is "It's not that you are abnormal, you are just different from other people." Dazai Osamu, who was said to be a godless man, instead I saw healing in his works. power.

Although sometimes, I will inexplicably have the same thoughts as Mishima Yukio's sentence in "The Temple of the Golden Pavilion" to comfort myself for not being understood: "Not being understood is... My only pride.”

Later, I learned a lot about the workplace, such as how to behave in the workplace, and I heard my brother and his parents talk about the people and things he encountered in the workplace. , I feel really tired, and I am also afraid of going out into society. I am even more afraid of doing things I don’t want to do and eventually getting depressed.

So I studied hard for about a month and went from junior college to undergraduate degree, just to have fun for two more years, and during this period I wanted to find a way to make money without having to work in the workplace. However, one time during lunch, my mother said to me: "Now that you have succeeded in upgrading from junior college to bachelor's degree, you have made up for it, but you still have to rely on the teacher qualification certificate and take the CET-4 exam to get you on the right path. When the time comes, civil servants will see If you have a certificate, you may not need to be interviewed.”

It’s like a winter vacation question for primary school students, asking students what they are most happy about during the holidays, whether they are helping parents with housework, eating, drinking and having fun, studying hard for self-improvement, and social development. In practice, I chose to eat, drink and have fun, and then all 40 points were deducted. Now not only do "normal people" have a clear format, but even "happiness" has a correct answer.

Indeed, in reality, there are many people who are more sensitive and fragile than Osamu Dazai, and they are more disliked by others. So I can only disguise myself and make myself look like a "normal person", and maybe I will eventually go crazy. Just like people often say that rich people have many quirks, but poor people also have many quirks, but they can only tolerate them.

As for Osamu Dazai in the second dimension, in addition to "Bungou and the Alchemist", there is also a movie "Bungou Stray Dogs". Dazai Osamu in "Bungou Stray Dogs" basically has the same name and surname. Some people have also said that Dazai Osamu in "Funno" is more like Oba Haizou, but in fact, he is only slightly similar to but not similar to Dazai Osamu in reality and Oba Haizou in "The Unworthy of the World".

As for Osamu Dazai in real life, some people always say that he committed suicide every day because of his grief. Who knows if they got involved by watching "Bungou Stray Dogs"? Osamu Dazai in "Bungou Stray Dogs" always had a scene in the first season where he committed suicide by jumping into a river and was said to be a tribute to the real Osamu Dazai. Just... don't call it a tribute just because he committed suicide five times!

For Osamu Dazai in "Bungou Stray Dogs", Kafka Asagiri did not explain his past, but from the novel "Dazai, Chuuya, 15 Years Old", we know that he committed suicide when he was 14 years old. Patient, although I have only read novels and anime, I can tell that this Dazai wants to die because he has no reason to live. His loneliness is more due to his incompetence due to his IQ and seeing through people's hearts. But unlike Ye Zang, Ye Zang Zang can see through people's hearts, but he pretends more to escape. Fumino Dazai has become a "caregiver", which is essentially different. The difference between Dazai in reality and his family is because the person who raised him was the maid Atake. He is inevitably closer to Atake's vulgarity as an ordinary person, so he is essentially different from his aristocratic family members.

In reality, Dazai is indeed hated by others for exposing his weakness, and some of his behaviors are indeed unpopular. For example, he blamed Sato Haruo and Kawabata Yasunari for not receiving the Akutagawa Prize. , although it is indeed because of Kawabata Yasunari that he did not receive the award for the first time. It is really a pity to say that his chaotic private life prevented him from displaying his talents.

But in fact, in the known evaluation of Dazai Osamu, people's character and talent are a polarizing trend. They recognized his talent but criticized his character. Dazai Osamu's wife Michiko and friend Tan Kazuo were attracted by his works before they met him. Yukio Mishima, who is often put on the receiving end of Osamu Dazai when he is mentioned, actually said: "I admit his rare talent, but strangely enough, he is I have never had such a physical resistance to a writer from the beginning. Maybe it is because of the law of love and hate, or maybe he is a writer who deliberately exposes the parts of me that I most want to hide."

As for the statement that Dazai is a scumbag and cheated, it cannot be said with certainty that Dazai, Shizuko Ohta, and Furei Yamazaki are not destined to meet each other. Michiko did not say these things, because from the current perspective, This incident was indeed unacceptable to many people in the past. The daughter of Dazai Osamu and Ohta Shizuko, Ohta Hariko, also condemned it in "Toward the Light: Father Dazai Osamu and Mother Ohta Shizuko".

But Haruko Ota and Yuko Tsushima are probably in the same situation. They don’t really know Osamu Dazai as his father. Haruko Ota may have listened more to his mother talking about the past, and then wrote with his own opinions. novel. Yuko Tsushima mentioned that "I feel like I should be the one who understands the most", so she went to great lengths to read her father's works.

However, the user’s reply was “It’s just because there are too many anime and other things recently, and your love for anime characters has hit this three-dimensional person.” I only paid attention when writing this article. After seeing the actual meaning clearly, the reply was similar to the one I saw on Zhihu before, "Why do many people would rather watch girls in anime than real girls in Genki High School?" The reply was "Because reality is too It’s too bad to put your hope in anime." I guess if he saw it, it would be regarded as complying with his words.

I like the real-life writer Dazai, the two-dimensional Fumino Dazai and Fumuren Dazai, but the degree of my liking is actually different. Fumino Dazai and Fumuren Dazai actually have the same relationship as those who like other anime characters. I don’t buy figures specifically for this, because I don’t have anywhere to put them. As for the real Dazai, in fact, in addition to the appeal of the work, I also see a bit of my own shadow in him.

And because I like the characters of Wen Ye or Wen Lian, I also like the real writers. This is just a connection between the name and the setting. Anyway, I wouldn’t connect the characters of real-life writers and writers. Take Izumi Kyoka, for example. Many people have the impression of Izumi Kyoka Fumino as a "reliable 14-year-old girl." But in reality, regardless of whether Izumi Kyoka is a boy, people who know him are almost neurotic towards him. I know something about mysophobia, and he is also a very bad person. He has an arrogant personality, and his true colors are revealed when he is drunk. Due to family reasons, his mental weakness is becoming more and more serious. The author of "Literati's Partial Eclipse" Arashiyama Kozaburo also said that Izumi Kyoka has not met If I had visited Ozaki Momiji, I would have gone crazy or committed suicide.

The user said that Dazai "cannot handle small things and big things well, and always fails to live up to other people's expectations", which cannot be completely refuted. Because Dazai failed to live up to the expectations of others, the most famous one is the Atami incident. He and Tan Kazuo went to Atami and owed a lot of money, so they left Tan Kazuo there to pay off the debt. In the end, there was no way that Tan Kazuo and his boss came to find Dazai. Playing chess with Ibushi Tsuji.

Although some say that Dazai couldn't borrow money from Hiroshi Kikuchi, so he went to Ibushi Tsuuji to use the chess game as an opportunity to talk about it. Whether it is true or not cannot be determined. The final result was that Tan Kazuo forgave him, and Sato Haruo, Ibushi Yuji and his then wife Koyama Shodai paid the money.

In the subsequent "Run, Melos", Tan Kazuo and Arashiyama Kozaburo said: "The inspiration for this novel probably came from Atami." Therefore, many people think that Dazai is good at Cleanse yourself and beautify yourself. But if Dazai really wants to find a chance to talk to Ibushi Yuuji, this novel may be because Dazai himself feels guilty, so I hope this novel can make up for living up to Tan's expectations. Of course, the timing is unclear.

As for Osamu Dazai, in fact, we may not be able to understand his true face from his novels, just like lies are hidden in the truth. Kazuo Tan mentioned in "The Novel of Osamu Dazai" , in Dazai's novel "Imaginary Spring", he was pseudonym Kuroda Shigeharu. Only one letter talking about visiting Dazai was written by him, and the other letter saying he was taking Dazai on a trip was actually written by Dazai based on their chat. It was written to imitate his habit of saying what he had said. Tan Kazuo speculated that this might be what Dazai wanted him to say.

As for "Girl Disciple", Dazai is based on the diary of the female reader Yu Mingshu, and condenses the diary contents into a day of a 14-year-old girl. At the time when he won the Kitamura Touya Prize, Kawabata Yasunari also spoke highly of this work. Now many readers have read this book and even doubted that Osamu Dazai understands girls so well because he is a woman.

It can be seen from this that Dazai in reality has a strong observation and insight into details, and has the illusion of seeing through people's hearts. Therefore, some people think that it is not advisable to learn about Dazai Osamu as a writer from Dazai's novels, because Dazai is likely to first guess the reader's mind, and then describe him in the opposite way in the novel, so that we often see falsehoods of him.

Just like one of Dazai's works "Shame", the female readers completely believed the writer's description of herself in the work, and wrote two readers' letters and sent them to ask the writer to be a good person. However, when they arrived, they found out that The writer's true identity was the opposite of his works, and in the end he was so ashamed that he wanted to die.

But no matter how disguised a writer is, there will always be some reflection of his own personality in his works.

For example, in the early novel "The Clown Flower", the protagonist Oba Yezo can be regarded as the predecessor of "The Disqualification of the World". The novel is interspersed with the author Dazai's monologue. If this was the first book I read, Book, I’m afraid I won’t fall into Dazai Osamu’s trap directly. But if you look closely, you will find that Dazai has low self-esteem in the monologue of "Joker's Flower". The contradictory combination of self-confidence and narcissism is also reflected in the side of the people-pleaser personality. After writing a paragraph, it seems that he has to explain clearly to the readers why he wrote this way and must be recognized. For example, although "To Kawabata Yasunari" is a curse, it is There is another sentence that is like an "explanation", and the story seems to come to an abrupt end at the end, but in fact it is out of confusion.

In Dazai's novels "Clown Flower" and "Tsugaru", although there may be elements of disguise, the text still has a coquettish feeling in some places, as if he is trying his best to To explain to gain approval from others, there is also a letter in "Imaginary Spring" that is not only real but also fictitious, directly scolding Dazai for acting coquettishly.

In "The Clown Flower", Dazai said that he wrote the novel for "revenge". If he is sincere, it is not difficult to understand based on his personal experience. In "Memories" we can see Dazai's low self-esteem as he is indispensable at home, and is not taken seriously by his family. In "Tsugaru", getting along with family members is not as harmonious as getting along with friends. He is extremely reserved, and he knows in his heart that because of a certain My relationship with my eldest brother cannot be repaired. In addition, I don’t have the aristocratic spirit of my family, so my social circle is different and I am more like a neglected “outsider”. Therefore, I wrote the novel for “revenge”, maybe because I want to be recognized by my family. Recognition, just like Sakaguchi Ango's evaluation in "Delinquent Boys and Christ":

"When it comes to parents, brothers, seniors, and elders, Dazai will not be able to hold his head up. Therefore, they must be overthrown. , these people are irritating, but on the other hand, Dazai loves them and even wants to hug them and cry.”

Although Dazai’s experiences are true, it feels like he is real. Not too sad, but even kind-hearted.

For example, "Okagakuji" is a book that makes people laugh out loud. However, it was written at a time when Japan was advocating war. At that time, many literati in Japan were advocating war. , Dazai’s purpose in creating this work is more to comfort people and allow them to relax. After the war, he also said that "the Japanese people do not feel guilty for participating in the war."

Everyone knows that Michiko doted on Dazai, doing all the work in the house and only letting him hold the pen. But when he was escaping from the war, he pulled a car alone, with his wife and children sitting in the car, and took his property with him to take refuge.

As for Dazai Osamu’s work "Farewell" written by Lu Xun, it was a collaborative work commissioned by the department. It has been scolded by Lu Xun researchers. People who know a little about Lu Xun will also understand it after reading it. I found out that this is actually a fanfic, or an OOC fanfic. But in fact, although the narcissistic style in Dazai's works is present in this work, it does not feel like a politically sensitive element. It is more like Dazai interpreting Lu Xun through Lu Xun's articles and his own opinions. Although it is a fan fiction Not quite qualified, but at least well-intentioned.

As we all know, for a while, Dazai’s novel creation followed a pattern: Dazai dictated and his wife Michiko took notes. Therefore, the article will inevitably feel verbose.

But Akutagawa Hiroshi mentioned in "With Osamu Dazai":

"The way he speaks is very similar to the way the characters in his novels speak, and it remains to this day. When I read Dazai-san’s novels, I always feel like I can hear the author’s voice. It seems like the novel was written with his own actual voice.”

Although Dazai-san has some problems as a person, he still has some problems. In fact, he is also a willful and narcissistic person, who is sensitive and has low self-esteem, and is overwhelmed by the world's opinions such as "being a human being" as a matter of course. Perhaps he was lucky to be born in that era, because he had people around him who were gentle and willing to tolerate him, even if sometimes he did really bad things.

However, there is really no real empathy between people. Just like I really don’t understand why if you like a celebrity, you must get excited when you see his abdominal muscles. Mr. Dazai is different from "normal people" It's also hard for people to understand.

The people around him, or those influenced by him, are more or less very talented people.

For example, his wife, Mrs. Michiko, wrote "Recalling Osamu Dazai", which makes people marvel at her amazing memory. Daughters Tsushima Yuko and Ohta Hariko are both novelists. Granddaughter Ran Ishihara was shortlisted for the Akutagawa Prize for her work "Kicking the Red Sand". My friends Kazuo Tan and Ango Sakaguchi are both rogue novelists. Fan Tetsuro Miura became a writer after reading her novel, and won the Akutagawa Newcomer Award.

Although people always say that his works are very sad, in my opinion, he is not sad. His works are actually about living towards death, and the content of his works is telling readers to live well. , just like the ending in "Tsugaru":

"Goodbye, readers! If you survive, we will meet again someday! Please move forward with courage! Don't despair! Then, Sorry.

”

End

January 25, 2022 23:19