When our roots itch with anger and we fly into a rage, some dark and vicious thoughts can't help but breed, treat those who make us angry condescendingly and even curse them.
Occasionally, there will be such emotions, dare to be angry and dare not speak. I feel much better after a bitter speech, but at the same time, a "self" and a "self" of Lu Xun are arguing in my heart.
"Self" said: whoever lets him bully me, I will blame him, scold him, hate him and curse him with the most vicious words.
"Self" says: You are not right. You should be a kind and conscientious person and think more about each other's benefits. If he is right, you should change it. If he is wrong, you should be blown away by a gust of wind. People with hatred in their hearts will not be happy.
After every inner struggle, "ego" won, and "ego" began to blame itself. I want to be a kind person, an open and aboveboard person, and a person who knows and knows. I shouldn't have those vicious thoughts, especially those who have helped me. Don't forget the benefits, and I can't be ungrateful. Isn't that a villain!
I think it is a sin that a gentle person can't even produce such vicious thoughts.
I forgot where I read a psychological analysis about this, which solved my confusion.
Everyone has two sides. On the surface, they are calm. In fact, there is a turbulent underground river in their hearts that others can't see. They are all human bodies. It's normal to have dark thoughts. People with extreme and extreme control ability will make outrageous behaviors, while normal people without mental illness, conscience and judgment will constantly reflect on their dark thoughts, constantly correct them and go back to things. Looking at the whole process from the perspective of the other party, we can find our own shortcomings and deficiencies, calm our anger, return to peace and reason, let go of others, release ourselves, increase our understanding and respect for each other, and promote self-growth in reflection.
To put it bluntly, people will always encounter many unpleasant things when they are alive. Some people commit crimes and want to have fun. Some people use review and reflection to heal, making their own pattern bigger and bigger and their hearts wider and wider.
The answers in the book let me relax. I don't have to feel guilty and sorry for my dissatisfaction. I am an ordinary person. Fortunately, the "big ego" always overcomes the "small ego" and faces impermanence with tolerance.