For half an hour, my mother's nagging never stopped, even though my father advised me. The child can only listen silently with his head down and tears in his eyes, without any rebuttal. The mother talked more and more vigorously until she forced her child to admit her mistake loudly and promised not to make it again.
The mother obviously used the wrong education method. She didn't care about the child's feelings from beginning to end, but used malicious language to vent her dissatisfaction. They think it is good for children to reason endlessly, but they don't know that it will only deepen their resentment and put them in an embarrassing situation.
Mothers with low emotional intelligence are always preaching and reasoning to their children. Educator Rousseau believes that the three most useless educational methods in the world are: reasoning, losing your temper and deliberately moving.
Parents want their children to be good enough, so they will put some pressure on their children invisibly. Once a child fails to meet his own requirements, or makes a mistake in something, parents will apply both hard and soft measures to achieve the goal of obedience.
Although it seems that parents always win in the end, in fact, although they win face, they alienate their children. Every time parents criticize their children, it is equivalent to giving them a self-denial. Children will think that they can't do anything well, and thus become inferior and helpless.
Five-year-old Qiang Qiang is addicted to watching TV, and his parents have tried everything. After a while, they told Qiang Qiang that watching TV was harmful to his eyes. After a while, they told him that watching TV would take up a lot of his playing time. But even so, Qiang Qiang was fascinated by cartoons and ignored his parents' words, which made his parents very helpless.
Later, my parents changed their education methods. They strongly agree to watch TV, but every time after watching TV, they should write a comment to briefly describe their thoughts on the plot. Gradually, Qiang Qiang felt that writing was too much trouble, so he naturally stopped watching TV, and finally waved goodbye to TV and drew a clear line.
Sometimes preaching is ineffective, at least for children. Parents should let their children really understand things and let them know what to do and what not to do. Try to be a parent with high emotional intelligence, and replace preaching with action, which may make children more willing to accept it.
Many people who have just learned to use chopsticks are trying to eat noodles one by one, but their movements are obviously unskilled, and noodles often fall to the table, which makes their parents very dissatisfied.
So my mother began to reprimand Duoduo and constantly reason with her, because in the eyes of parents, it is not difficult to eat noodles with chopsticks. They really can't figure out why blossoming always makes mistakes.
It's just that parents don't know that constant preaching will only make children more and more unacceptable, and their inner resentment will become stronger and stronger, even rebellious, in order to silently protest their parents.
Of course, not all parents have the patience to preach. Some parents find it difficult to control their emotions because of their personality. They often treat children with violence first, and then slowly reason with them after the fight.
If you meet such parents, it is undoubtedly the child's sorrow. Because they are not only as simple as low emotional intelligence, they don't have any emotional intelligence at all, which often brings endless harm to children, not only physically but also mentally.
Parents always demand their children by their own standards, which is an obvious conceptual deviation. Tong Tong likes playing with plasticine very much. Her little hands can create many lovely works. Of course, in this process, plasticine often appears on sofas and chairs, making the home very dirty.
Obviously, parents will basically lose control when they see such a scene, but it is hard for young Tong Tong to understand. Because the teacher said that playing plasticine can exercise hand-eye coordination and improve children's creativity, why don't parents support it?
In fact, parents care about the maintenance of family hygiene. Tong Tong's parents asked her to clean up the plasticine on the sofa and other places. On one occasion, Tong Tong realized the hard work of his parents in cleaning at ordinary times, so he would pay special attention when playing with plasticine later.
Reasoning with children from the point of view of adults. Children can't understand real life and results without personal experience. They will think that parents' "reasoning" is actually empty preaching and forced suppression, which will produce disgust and resistance.
If you want children to understand the truth, you must give them some opportunities for trial and error. For example, if the air conditioning blanket is painted, let the child always use the painted blanket, or let him clean it himself.
The world needs to learn not only from children, but also from every parent. In a subtle way, parents undoubtedly have the greatest influence on their children.
Psychologist Piaget once said: Children can only see the world from their own perspective.
To educate their children, parents should first set an example: they often greet friends and colleagues outside. Even the short word "Hello" contains a person's accomplishment, which children can see in their eyes and remember in their hearts.
In the process of children's growth, they will also take the initiative to say hello to others, which will naturally deepen people's goodwill towards children, which is extremely beneficial to their future work and life.
Always say thank you. When we get help from others, we should say two words from the heart. Thank you. This is the most basic respect for others and gratitude for others' help. No matter how much you accept others, these two words are essential.
Grateful children will naturally cherish everything around them. They will treat every friend and relative with care, on the contrary, they will be recognized by everyone and gain more and better things.
I'm sorry to bother you. If we need help from others, we must say this sentence first. This is a sign of politeness. Moreover, the tone should be euphemistic, the attitude should be modest, and you must never talk to the other party in an ordered or forced tone.
Children are like a blank sheet of paper, and their parents are their first teachers. Children are particularly apt to imitate their parents' behavior. Therefore, if their parents are very self-disciplined in front of their children, they can easily follow suit and become polite children. Compared with abusive children, polite children are more likely to leave a good impression on everyone and have better development prospects in the future.