Funny Famous Quotes

1. You are the master of your words before they are spoken, and you become their slave after they are spoken.

2. Life is nothing more than making others smile, and occasionally making others smile.

3. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

4. If you are unsure about domestic affairs, ask your wife, and if you are unsure about foreign affairs, ask Google!

5. Only when you are waiting in a long queue can you truly realize that you are a "descendant of the dragon."

6. Advertising is to tell others that their money can still be spent in this way.

7. Pretending to be stupid, if done well, can make you wise as a fool. Being dull, if done well, is called deepness.

8. House prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men...

9. If a tree doesn’t need bark, it will die; if a person has no shame, he will be invincible.

10. Invisible face, inaudible voice. Think about the emptiness of the Internet. He was swollen but burst into tears.

11. There are two ways to pollute a place: use garbage, or use banknotes!

12. Live well, because we will die for a long, long time.

13. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt!

14. No matter how awesome Chopin is, he can’t play my sadness.

15. Love is not a refuge. If you want to take refuge there, you will be kicked out.

16. Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of every day.

17. Water can carry a boat and cook porridge.

18. Customers are not God, customers are just fooled.

19. Don’t believe in love at first sight, because you can’t tell how much money the other person earns at a glance.

20. Women like men who feel secure; men are often attracted to women who lack security.

21. In the past: first-rate students went abroad, second-rate students took postgraduate entrance examinations, and third-rate students found employment. Now: first-rate students are employed, second-rate students go abroad, and third-rate students take postgraduate entrance exams.

22. If you are not afraid of gangsters, you are afraid that gangsters are educated...

23. When people do good things, they always want the ghosts and gods to know about them, and when they do bad things, they always think that the ghosts and gods don’t know. We give the devil too much trouble.

24. There may be several women in the world who don’t eat, but there is not even one woman who is not jealous.

25. The attitude towards intellectuals marks the degree of civilization of a nation; the attitude towards workers and peasants tests the conscience of the nation.

26. Half of the books in the world are written by stupid people for stupid people.

27. Stealing one person’s idea is plagiarism, stealing many people’s ideas is research.

28. Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

　29. 6 When a person looks back on the past, he can proudly say that I have devoted my whole life to Internet cafes.

30. Why are my eyes filled with tears? Because I love this poster deeply.

31. Turn on the computer or turn off the computer, that is a question.

32. It is not scary to meet a group of rogues on the Internet, but the scary thing is to encounter a bunch of rogue software.

33. Go to your own website and let others talk.

34. Children treat toys as friends, and adults treat friends as toys.

35. As far as your thoughts go, get away from me!

36. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most radical one is to borrow money.

37. A rich person is afraid that others will know that he is rich, and a poor person is afraid that others will know that he has no money.

38. When birds are big, they can be found in any forest.

39. A man who doesn’t want to go online is not a good man.

40. The ex-girlfriend is like a biological child, and the second-girlfriend is like an adopted one.

41. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a eunuch going to a brothel!

42. When you have no money, your wife is also your secretary; when you are rich, your secretary is also your wife.

43. Guests, please respect yourself. This little girl only sells herself but not her art.

44. Back then, if you didn’t go to college, you would be poor for the rest of your life, but now, if you go to college, you will be poor immediately.

45. We seem to have entered an era where love can only be proven by giving money.

46. Give me a fulcrum, and I can move the entire host server.

47. The wind is blowing and the clouds are flying, but the air conditioner makes it cool in summer!

48. The early bird catches the worm! The early bird catches the worm!

49. Warning: Please do not climb over the campus fence, otherwise boys will turn into girls and girls will turn into women.

50. Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

51. If being rich is also a mistake, then I would rather make the same mistake again and again.

52. Brother, let me throw a brick first. If there is jade, just throw it over. (m.taiks.com)

53. My big name is God, my nickname is Jesus, my English name is God, and my dharma name is Tathagata.

54. When you put on the wedding dress of love, I also put on the monk's cassock...

55. A high job is not as good as a high salary, a high salary is not as good as a long life, and a long life is not as good as happiness.

56. Use your real name to tell lies in real life, but use a pseudonym to tell the truth online.