Sheng Minglan once said many words of wisdom about marriage, which impressed me deeply. For example, when her husband doted on her and pampered her in every way, she behaved in a way that is rare for women. With the attitude of "I am sober when everyone is drunk", he said:

"He is a good person and he cares about me, which is good. But in everything, it is best not to rely too much on others. Everyone has his or her own situation." There are different difficulties. You really have to count on him, but don’t count on him too much. If you always count on him, he will feel that the burden is heavy one day.

If you are disappointed, you will become resentful; if you resent him for a lifetime, you will feel resentment. Just get up."

She is very content and grateful for her husband's love, which is something that many women cannot do. If her husband is good to her, she will remember it in her heart, and she will be even better to him. When her husband dotes on her, she does not dote on her, but she never takes his kindness to her for granted.

She does not put all the focus of her life on men, nor does she place her life on men alone. She knows that everyone is under a lot of pressure in this world. The burdens are very heavy.

Both husband and wife support each other, rather than one person supporting the other. Otherwise, as time goes by and the other party gets tired, the marriage will change.

But what I really admire about her is her decisiveness in choosing a mate. She didn't look back, she didn't choose the best, and she didn't want to be a "good or bad" woman. In the end, she chose Uncle Gu. Although it wasn't because of what her heart wanted at first, it was also because he was the most suitable for her.

Although it is a bit surprising, from the beginning, her words have already foreshadowed her future choices.

She said that staying with others ultimately relies on the lowest part of their character.

If you want to marry a person, then what you have to look at is not the best part of this person, but the worst part of this person that is most intolerable to you.

I read a question and answer, which moment in your marriage made you decide to divorce? The answers from netizens were all kinds of, and they were all about details. But in the final analysis, it was the men who inadvertently exposed the worst aspects of their conduct after marriage, which chilled the hearts of women.

The first time Momo wanted a divorce was when she was pregnant. She married her husband simply because her parents found the boy to be in good condition. They felt that the boy's family conditions were good and his personality was relatively gentle. Momo also thought the man was acceptable, so she married him.

After getting married, she discovered that her husband’s shortcomings were slowly exposed. The man was very proud and selfish. He looked down on Momo. He couldn’t do any housework and had zero survival skills. You have to worry about everything.

When Momo was pregnant, she reacted violently. She vomited so much that she lost strength while holding the toilet and couldn't stand up. The man ignored her and didn't even try to help her.

At first, Momo thought her husband just had low emotional intelligence and didn’t know how to be hot or cold. But later, she held the toilet and vomited blood, but the man said to her in a tone of extreme disgust. "When I come back from get off work every day, I see you acting like this. You're just pregnant. How can you be so uncomfortable? So uncomfortable that you can't do anything? I think you're just faking it, deliberately trying to show it to me."

At that moment, Momo's heart died. Under the man's stunned eyes, she struggled to pack her clothes and returned to her parents' home. Fortunately, the month was not old, so she took off the child. After recovering her health, she immediately filed for divorce from her husband and broke up with him.

As for Xiao Wei, her experience is quite similar to that of Momo, except that Momo is pregnant, and she has some differences.

“Momo and I also met through the Internet. After I heard about her experience, I felt that we were in the same boat. It was also the first time I discovered that there were so many women who had the same problem as me. Experience, it turns out that I am not alone.

When I first met him, he was the one who pursued me first. His family conditions were not very good, but he was very motivated, hard-working, and honest, and he had always endured hardships. He doesn't go out to play around, and he doesn't care too much.

My parents liked him very much when they first met him, and they thought this boy was worth trusting. At first, I thought he had some shadow of the Phoenix Man. , but I couldn’t help but he really wanted to please my parents.

My parents said that our family’s conditions were pretty good and there was no need to look for a partner based on the conditions. This boy was really good and would have a bright future. , let me not bully young people who are poor. My father cherishes talents very much and appreciates him very much.

He is indeed excellent. He works really seriously and works hard to get promoted. His bosses appreciate him and everyone around him appreciates him. All his friends and colleagues praised him, and my friends all said good things about him when they met him. All in all, there was nothing wrong with him except that he was a little poor.

I have also been to their home, and his family is quite difficult. Although his parents are in good health, they have not paid insurance, and they have no protection at all when they grow old. He also has a younger brother who is in college and a younger sister who is married.

He is a traditional man with a strong sense of family values. I was originally worried and had doubts about being filial to my parents, but the simple fact was that their homes were far away and it would be impossible for them to live with us in the future. I didn’t think much about it later. After much consideration, I finally decided I convinced myself and agreed to his proposal.

For a long time after I got married, I felt that I had married the right person. Although he was not very good to me, he was not bad either.

He is busy with work and doesn’t pay much attention to my health. However, as soon as we got married, he advised me not to work, saying that he wanted me to take good care of my body at home and prepare for pregnancy.

I was quite touched at the time, thinking that although he didn’t know how to talk about love, he still cared about me in his heart. But later I realized that he didn’t care about me, he just cared about whether I could get pregnant. , just to pass on the family lineage.

Before I was pregnant, my mother-in-law heard that I was preparing for pregnancy at home and wanted to come over to take care of me. I didn’t let her. On the one hand, I felt it was unnecessary. On the other hand, I felt that my mother-in-law didn’t know how to take care of me. It's a blessing or a curse, and it's a good thing I didn't let her come, otherwise my fate might be even more tragic later.

Even though she didn’t come, she still sent me a lot of traditional Chinese medicine from her hometown, saying that she had tried her best to get it from some “great fairy” and that it could promote pregnancy and give birth to a son. That kind of thing.

I refused to drink it, and my husband kept trying every possible means to persuade me to drink it, but I just refused. After all, this medicine has an unknown origin and is not legal. I can't make fun of my own body. Besides, what is the difference between having a boy and a girl? There is nothing forced about having a baby. I just told my husband about it. He didn’t say anything, but his expression immediately revealed his true psychology.

I heard him talk about it, saying that his mother-in-law had calculated it for him and said that his first child would definitely be a boy. It was very unpleasant to hear me say that, but I didn’t either. care.

Because I didn’t take the medicine, he was always in a bad mood. It wasn’t until I became pregnant that his attitude softened a lot.

At around two o'clock that night, I suddenly woke up with a stomachache, sweating profusely, and asked my husband to take me to the hospital. My husband was also very anxious, so he quickly sent me to the hospital. I don’t know why the laboratory report came out so slowly that day. Maybe it was because I was in too much pain at that time and couldn’t wait any longer.

I was rolling on the floor in pain and asked my husband not to wait for the blood report and to send me to the doctor quickly, but my husband refused. He said that there were no results yet. If I go to the doctor, I would need medication. What should I do if I hurt my child?

I cried and begged him to take me to a doctor, and he finally reluctantly agreed. I could no longer walk at that time, so he took me to the doctor in a wheelchair. , while walking, he was still cursing, saying how I was doing, he didn’t care about the children, he only cared about himself, saying that I was just pretending to be dead, and he said that he would divorce me when he went back.

Later, the doctor was frightened when he saw it. He said it was suspected to be an ectopic pregnancy. At that time, he called several departments that were supposed to examine me. Several people checked and finally diagnosed it as an ectopic pregnancy with fallopian tube rupture. The situation was very dangerous. , time was tight, but I still asked my husband to notify my parents quickly, and then he was pushed into the ICU.

It took eight hours of emergency surgery to save my life. After I came out, I immediately filed for divorce from him in front of my parents.

My mother slapped him on the spot, but he didn’t regret it at all. The four-year marriage fell apart like this, but I don’t regret it at all. I only regret that I didn’t see it clearly earlier. .

I really want to thank myself for persisting and not listening to him, otherwise the grass on my grave would be ten feet high now. ”

Momo and Xiao Wei are unfortunate, but they are also lucky at the same time. Unfortunately, they met such a despicable man. Fortunately, they understood it before they were further hurt. The worst part of their husband's character is ruthlessness and selfishness.

Thanks to their decisiveness, they made the decision immediately and cut off the injustice.

I often hear this. I have seen that some women will make excuses for men. Except for occasionally hitting me, scolding me, and treating me badly, these women usually treat me very well. These women only see the best in men, not the lowest. Little do they know. , this lowest point is the most important and cannot be ignored.

This statement is actually the same as the "barrel principle". A wooden barrel is made up of many pieces of wood of different lengths. No matter how long the longest wooden stick is, the amount of water that can be filled in the bucket will still be determined by the shortest wooden stick.

Although the young father-in-law is good and his family is in excellent condition, it will still be determined by the shortest wooden stick. He is an upright man with good character, but he is filial, simple, and weak. His mother controls everything in his family. Although there are regrets, it is conceivable that even if he marries Minglan, he will not be able to protect her throughout her life.

The same is true for He Hongwen, soft-hearted and nostalgic. He is also a replica of the young father-in-law. Although they are both very good, they are not suitable for Minglan, whose life is full of thorns. Only Uncle Gu is willing to Overcoming obstacles for her, regardless of the consequences, shamelessly, taking her through the mud and making her feel at ease.

Just like Xiao Wei and Momo in the article, neither of them carefully considered each other's character before getting married. The lowest point of a man is that one sees the excellent family conditions of the other party, and the other sees the strong personal ability of the other party. After a rough review of the man's character, he gets married after seeing the highest point of the man. It is not until after marriage that he understands the man's The lowest point of character.

If it is just some minor flaws, they can be ignored. However, if a man is so selfish that he excludes his wife, if he is so ruthless that he hurts the person next to him, such a marriage should not have happened from the beginning. start.

When choosing a mate, I hope everyone can understand this truth. For a woman, a man's excellence is always just the icing on the cake, a matter of face. Whether his shortcomings are fatal or not depends on whether he can endure them. Women should consider it emphatically. Just like Minglan, only by being a transparent woman and choosing the right one instead of the best can you seize the happiness in life and get a beautiful marriage.