I always think I understand this sentence very well. It's just to study hard and relax. What's so difficult? But if you think about it carefully, how can you be serious and how can you relax? I seem to know, but I don't know. I have been a student myself, and I know the pain of learning. Are you serious? Not necessarily. It is common to talk in class and be distracted by homework. Hate all kinds of math problems! What about playing? Sneaky, evasive, even guilty. I'm sure everyone has the experience.
children, too, have always had a problem of procrastinating in their homework. Since primary school, I have been applying both hard and soft, sometimes good and sometimes bad, which gives me a headache. I fought, scolded, coaxed and cheated. The truth has been told countless times, "I am still." In desperation, his father had to admit it, thinking that the child just had poor self-control and had no choice. Doing homework like this, playing games is not. Playing games, devotion, concentration and excitement are totally different from studying. It's just that my father often scolds me, "If only you had half the energy to study while playing games!" " "Why are you still playing? Don't look at how long it's been playing! Do you want to stop studying? ! I will play games every day in the future! "
The winter vacation is coming, and the contradiction between playing games and doing homework intensifies. In that case, I simply signed a "gentleman's agreement" with my child. Every day during the day, he finishes winter vacation homework and exercises at home. Evening is game time, and you can control it freely. So, every day after work, the child rushed over with his homework. "Mom, check it quickly! How about it? " After passing the inspection, he began his game time with joy. At first, I doubted how long he would last. After all, there is so much homework every day, and I finish it at home. He usually finishes his homework painfully under our supervision and urging. Unexpectedly, the winter vacation is coming to an end, and it is still carried out according to the rules. I really admire children's execution! Much better than we thought.
Last night, I read an article. It's about how to treat procrastination and improve work efficiency. The method given in this paper is to set time and tasks for yourself, and after the completion, resolutely stop overweight and rest and entertain the rest of the time. For example, Haruki Murakami. When he writes, he stipulates that he must write tens of thousands of words every day, whether he has ideas or not. Achieve your daily goals, even if you think like a spring, stop. Then, go to have a cup of tea for leisure. I don't know if this example is true, but I suddenly feel that it is particularly similar to the child's winter vacation model. Finish the plan during the day and enjoy the game at night. This may be the correct way to open "study hard and play hard".
I tried to imagine how children feel in this mode. When you write your homework, you know that you must complete the task with good quality and quantity as required in order to enjoy the game time in the evening. When playing games, be aboveboard, feel at ease, and have no need to hide and fear. This kind of game time is still worth looking forward to. It must be fun to play for one night like this. The next day, when doing homework, I will no longer wander away because I miss the game.
In fact, similar methods have been used before. Why is it not effective? Why is it so effective and persistent this time? I think it may be influenced by his father's change of attitude towards the game. My husband doesn't play video games, and he always thinks that playing games is Internet addiction, which will make people depressed, play with things and eventually become waste. How terrible! Therefore, he is very opposed to children playing games. He can't stand children playing for more than an hour, even if they have finished their homework. He will also try his best to interrupt and find something to do for the children. Slowly, the child also knows that even if it is done according to the requirements, dad will still increase the price at any time. Several times, the child said angrily, "I know, after I have finished, you will still assign other questions." I have no time to play at all! "
As a result, children no longer look forward to the game time after completing the task, and their homework is more distracting.
This winter vacation plan, we blatantly included playing games in it, making it "legal". At first, my husband thought it was good, because the homework was of good quality and quantity. In the next few days, he began to get tired of children playing games at night and began to find fault. The father and son are in constant conflict, one resolutely defends his right to play, and the other tries to pull it out of the game. The winter vacation plan is in vain.
I said to my husband, "Since you agreed when you made the plan, don't go back on your word now."
"What about his eyes when he plays games for hours on end?" He is eloquent.
"That can only give advice to the child to protect his eyes, not oppose him playing games at night. Why can't people control their own game time in exchange for serious study during the day? "
"So studying hard is for playing games at night? This attitude is too bad! "
"why not? At least people are serious when doing their homework. What do adults go to work for? Anyway, I just want to make money and support my family. There is no noble goal. But I am also serious and responsible, and abide by the rules and regulations. Am I not a good employee? " I asked in return.
he is speechless.
in order to protect my eyes, I discussed with my children to adjust the time of playing games. Before discussing, I'll make it clear that my mother thinks it's reasonable and firm for you to play games at night on the premise of completing the task! The child readily agreed to join the outdoor exercise for half an hour in the evening.
The winter vacation is coming to an end, and the plan is still being implemented. Among them, children also want to be lazy, and when the discount is given, I just firmly say that I will do things according to the rules, and my mother will ensure that the tablet is fully charged and play when the task is completed. After hitting the wall several times, the child was unhappy and went to do his homework. Give up, but quickly enter the learning state. Before long, he came dancing with his homework. Mom, I finished it. Check it quickly!
Looking at the children's changes, I think the method is important, but the future is more important. The previous method is just like this, but the future is uncertain and uncontrollable, and it is always changed by adults at will. Therefore, for children, such a future does not belong to them, so simply don't want it, let alone work hard for it.
as we all know, there are many uncertainties in the future, but if the future is completely unknown and uncontrollable, how terrible it will be! The reason why we work hard and live hard today is that we want to have more control over our future. Out of control, people are crazy, scared and helpless, which makes us avoid it. In the eyes of children, what is practical, clear and controllable is very important, because he is still weak. However, we are no longer children. We are strong enough to face the future, although there are many unknowns. In fact, those unknowns are not as terrible as imagined, because we have grown up!