We may be able to accept the thought of death rationally, but when we experience the death of someone close to us, fear inevitably engulfs our hearts. How to face the big topic of life and death? Wise men tell us that there is such a way to face the light of life...

A classmate asked: Hello, lecturer. A good friend's father passed away, and suddenly I felt so panicked. I was afraid that my family and friends would leave me, and I couldn't accept it. Lecturer, how should I face life and death?

Lecturer Zhang’s answer: A person’s life is only short for 20,000 to 30,000 days. No matter how close you are, people will eventually be separated from you, no matter what their status is. Everyone has to accept this fact. I think this is something you have understood very well since you were sensible. However, some people feel inexplicably sad and frightened because of this. But if you think about it carefully, what would frighten this person is not just this incident! As soon as that feeling of fear appears, for you, all your troubles and all your ties are just that "feeling of fear", not the event. The event just gave your fear a name.

Because in fact, you have long known the impermanence of life, you know that everyone’s life is limited, and you have long known that your loved ones will eventually leave you. It is okay to think of this when you are not in the mood. It's very peaceful, but when that feeling of "fear" comes up, you feel doubly sad and frightened. So you are afraid that your loved ones will leave you. To put it bluntly, you are just afraid of a "fear" feeling. Because you know every minute and every second whether your loved ones will leave you, but when that "fear" hits you, you will be occupied and distressed by this emotion.

So what you need to understand and practice is just how to deal with this "emotion of fear" instead of looking for a logical answer that can satisfactorily solve this problem. This is a It’s an unanswerable question. You have known for a long time that all the people close to you will leave you one day. Whether you are afraid or not, the answer is the same.

Of course I can tell you that if people go to another world after death, we will get to know new people there, we will make new good friends, and we will have a large number of friends. With loved ones, you will never lack people close to you. The cycle of life is just like this, so you have nothing to fear. You all know these truths, but as soon as the fear strikes you, you still have nothing to do, no matter how perfect the explanation is, it won't work.

The only thing that will help you is to start learning to watch that fear! See through that fear is just a small energy change in your chest. It exists in your chest, a tight heart-wrenching feeling, a slightly turbulent feeling. Don't rush to resist its appearance. When you can make peace with this energy When you are alone, when this feeling hits you again and again, and you can open your heart to welcome it, no matter how great your fear is again, you can wait and see what happens and deal with it indifferently.

(Quoted from the Q&A collection of the founder of Huang Ting Chan, Lecturer Zhang Qingxiang, in the 261st issue of "Huang Ting Chan Electronic News")